The Decision
by windchymes
Summary: Edward made a decision after that second biology lesson.  Two years later that decision is challenged.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Edward doodled absently in his notebook while the professor droned on about atoms. He kept a small part of his brain focused on the lecture in case he was called on, but the rest of his mind wandered.

"Nice eyes." The girl whispered shyly beside him. He turned to her, puzzled, her thoughts were as hesitant as her voice.

She bit her lip nervously as he met her gaze.

"They're nice eyes," she offered again, nodding at his notebook. "Um, you draw really well."

Ah.

Edward gave a small, polite smile and smoothly covered the drawing with his hand. He answered her with a soft _thank you._

Her smile lit up her face, like all her Christmases had come at once, and her skin blushed crimson.

Then she turned quickly to the front again and in her fluster she knocked her textbook onto the floor. Edward bent to pick it up and set it back on her desk.

"Oh, um, thanks." She giggled this time. Edward nodded but avoided eye contact.

He turned back to the notebook.

Two eyes stared up at him from the page. Wide, dark, gentle eyes with long lashes. But the lead of his pencil couldn't capture their depths as he remembered them. The soft grey was no substitute for their warm brown.

He shook his head. Here he was, once again sketching the eyes of a girl he had sat next to in biology twice. Just _twice. _A girl he had had one, single conversation with. Just _one. _And much of it based around onion root.

A girl he had known for little more than two days.

A girl whose scent had almost driven him to kill her. A girl whose blood had called to him in ways he couldn't understand - on levels he couldn't reach.

A girl who now, two years later, was still the most important thing in his world - even if she didn't know it.

Bella Swan would be nineteen now. She'd be at college, probably somewhere warm. She didn't like the cold, he remembered that. He remembered everything. Every word she had spoken, every breath she had taken. Her heart shaped face. The way her cheeks coloured and the way her life beat its rhythm in her chest.

He wondered if she remembered him.

She probably did - in that way that most people would remember him. He would forever be that strange boy with the unusual eyes and the pale, cold skin who made her feel uneasy.

Yes, she would remember him.

He flicked the notebook onto a blank page.

Beside him the girl was working up the courage to speak again. He could see the idea forming in her mind and he gave an inaudible sigh of resignation.

"Erm, Edward...?"

He inclined his head politely in her direction but kept his eyes down.

"I was wondering..." She took a deep breath. "Some of us are going to see a movie on Saturday night and...I just...um doyouwannacome?"

She rushed the last words and he could feel her discomfort, her awkwardness. There had been a time when her invitation would have irritated him, but now not so much.

He turned to her and gave another polite smile. She gulped.

"Thank you," he said. "But I can't. My brother is getting married on Saturday."

-0-

The wedding reception was in full swing. The marquee in the garden was strewn with fairy lights and a laughing Emmett swung his beautiful bride gracefully around the dance floor. Eleazar and Carmen jitterbugged with Carlisle and Esme. A giggling Kate and Tanya joined in, making up their own unique moves. Edward stood to the side, talking and laughing with Irina, Alice and Jasper, Peter and Charlotte. On the surface he was enjoying himself - the atmosphere and the conversation were fun and fresh and a break from the routine of college. But the surface was as deep as it went.

The music on the expensive sound system changed - and so did the mood. A soft romantic piece filtered through the speakers now and the couples stopped jumping and swinging and instead found themselves in each others arms, swaying gently to the melody. Jasper and Alice locked eyes, their gaze only for each other. Together they headed for the dance floor while Edward headed for the woods.

The party he could handle...the intimacy he couldn't.

He thought of Isabella Swan.

Bella.

He shrugged out of his dinner jacket, letting it drop on the ground as he began to run.

Fast.

His fingers worked the knot of his tie and it flew away. He rolled up his sleeves, opened the top buttons of his shirt and pulled its tails free. The soft cotton clung to his chest and billowed out behind him as he ran.

He let the wind whistle past his ears, muffling the music, sighs and whispered declarations of love which gradually faded and disappeared behind him.

The wind felt good against his face and in his hair and he didn't slow until he had crossed the border from Vermont into New Hampshire. In the quiet woods he sat on a fallen log and stared at the sky. He smiled when he saw_ her_ face smiling back at him from the stars. Then he frowned.

His thoughts of her were always complex and confusing.

She was all at once a source of comfort _and_ despair and it had been that way for a while now. Which was an improvement, really. Because in the beginning it had just been despair, pure, absolute and crippling.

But that was before he had understood. He sighed and laid back on the ground now, eyes closed, arms folded comfortably behind his head.

Edward loved Isabella Swan.

He loved her unconditionally, absolutely, with a purity and depth that no human could ever fathom.

And he would love her this way, without alteration or diversion, until the universe, and time itself, ceased to exist. And even then he suspected his love would fill the void that was left behind.

She was everything.

Y_ou know, you don't have to be alone._...

Tanya's thoughts interrupted him and he winced.

She appeared silently from the trees and Edward gave a very small smile, more at her persistence than her words.

"I think we've had this conversation before, Tanya."

"Have we?"

"We have."

"Oh, yes, I remember," she smiled, teasing. "But it was a while ago now. You came to Alaska with woman troubles."

Edward looked away and didn't respond.

"You might have changed your mind by now." There was a trace of hope in her voice, as well as in her thoughts, as she indicated the log. "May I?"

Edward slid along, making room. A lot of room.

"I haven't changed my mind," he clarified. "But thank you for the...er, _thought_."

Tanya shrugged again and tossed her long curls over her shoulder.

They sat quietly for a while, talking about the wedding and Tanya's new car and Edward's engineering course at the University of Vermont. Then her mind took a turn.

"I wonder, Edward...," she sighed a little. "Do you even realise what you're missing out on?"

Edward did know and he tapped his temple. Tanya laughed.

"And that doesn't do it for you?" She purred, and tried to slip her arm through his as her thoughts became more graphic.

He shook his head. "I'm afraid not." Neatly, he untangled himself from her hold.

"I could make you happy."

He shook his head.

"You're lonely."

He didn't respond.

She moved closer, her lips at his ear. "You don't have to be lonely, Edward."

Gracefully he stood and went to lean against a tree, hands deep in his pockets. He gave Tanya a half smile and shook his head again. But Tanya wasn't deterred. She'd been alive for a thousand years and Edward Cullen was the most attractive, desirable man, human or vampire, she had ever encountered. And the way he stood now, with his shirt loose and his hair hanging windswept over his eyes, leaning casually against the tree...

She bit her lip.

"But you have desires, don't you?" _Her_ desires were obvious and barely contained.

"Desires? Mm, not the way you mean, Tanya."

"Oh? And what do I mean, Edward?" She kept her voice low and seductive.

He rolled his eyes and looked away, into the distance.

"But you _are_ a man..." Her sentence ended there but her thoughts continued. Edward sighed.

"Yes, I am a man."

"And most men want..."

"You." He smiled weakly, trying to deflect her. "Yes, I know."

She gave a soft chuckle, and actually sounded embarrassed.

"My attempt to make you jealous."

He smiled.  
"But it doesn't work, does it?"

His smile became apologetic.

She sighed. "What I meant was...most men want..._someone_."

He shrugged, his hands balling into fists in his pockets. He didn't want to discuss this with her.

Tanya studied him for a moment, her head cocked to her shoulder. Suddenly her mind went blank.

"What?" Edward frowned, looking up sharply. He was slightly rattled that she'd closed her mind to him so suddenly ... it was usually wide, wide open. He was wary now, wondering what was coming next.

Tanya cocked her head to the other shoulder.

"Is it _still_ the girl? The human?"

Edward stiffened but stayed silent, essentially confirming Tanya's thoughts.

"Edward, that was two years ago...," she said gently. "You knew her for how long?"

Two days.

A lifetime.

Edward turned away and started pacing through the trees. He wouldn't discuss this with Tanya - it was too...intimate. And he doubted he could explain the complexity of his feelings for Bella to someone whose idea of a meaningful relationship was a second date. How could she understand, in one conversation, what had taken him months to realise.

Tanya followed and Edward pointed out some animal tracks in the hope of changing the subject.

In her thoughts now he could see she was jealous, wondering how a mere human could have such a hold on him. But she was also concerned. Her affection for him was genuine - she didn't want him to hurt. He grimaced now as she wondered if she could make him feel better - make him forget the human.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

She ignored the thinly veiled exasperation in his voice as he kept walking and she reached out, her hand circling his wrist. He stopped walking and looked down where her fingers touched his skin.

"Would it be so wrong, Edward?" she whispered. "_Really?_ Would it be so wrong to give in, to enjoy yourself, to feel..._pleasure_?" Her index finger traced the inside of his wrist. "Surely you have needs, urges...yes?"

He looked away into the woods as he gently pulled his hand free from hers.

She made a small sound of exasperation.

"What do you want, Edward?"

"Good company," he answered with a small smile. "And your company _is _good, Tanya...when you're not obsessing about sex."

She smiled back.

"What's wrong with sex?"

"There's nothing wrong with sex."

"Mm...well I'm glad we're of a similar mind about _that_." She tilted her head and gave him a look that would have made most men fall to their knees, weeping with want. But Edward was unmoved. "We could be good together," she whispered and he was hit with a deluge of visions of just how good Tanya thought they could be. He winced.

She reached for his chest. He caught her hand, stilling her actions, and his deep, golden eyes met hers.

Slowly he moved her hand away, gently placing it back at her side as he slowly shook his head. All her thoughts of having him right there on the forest floor, claiming him as her sexual partner, began to fade. He saw the disappointment in her eyes. And the hurt.

"I'm sorry."

"You'd like it," she whispered.

He shook his head again, slower this time.

"No, I wouldn't. Not like that."

"Not like what?"

The silence between them was heavy. His eyes held hers as she swallowed, once, twice. Finally understanding, Tanya spoke.

"Not without love?"

Edward nodded.

-0-

Tanya left Edward to himself and he sank to the forest floor, his back against a large spruce tree. He knew his rejection had stung, and he didn't like hurting her feelings, but he also knew he could never take what she offered. He rested his arms on his knees and stared again at the night sky. He took a deep breath and then he closed his eyes.

Tanya had talked of desire. And as she had sprinted through the trees, away from him, she had actually wondered if Edward was _even capable_ of feeling desire or lust.

He allowed himself a wistful smile.

Edward was certainly capable.

It was just that for him, desire and lust came from love.

The feelings that he recognised now had been there from the start, almost from that first moment in the cafeteria. But they were so faint and unfamiliar that they became lost beneath the crushing weight of his confusion and frustration - his anger and pain.

It had taken a while for those feelings to come to the surface.

But come they had.

It had been another night like this - the sky crystal clear and brilliant with stars, but the ground had been covered with snow.

He'd been hunting and had devoured the better part of a herd of elk. His thirst was satisfied and he was in no hurry to get home. It was always in the night sky that he saw Bella's face most clearly so he had laid down in the snow and watched her eyes looking back at him from the stars.

And he had let his mind wander.

His thoughts had followed their usual path at first - her eyes, the soft waves of her hair, the curve of her mouth. But this time, as Edward had remembered the way she'd pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, his body had suddenly tightened.

And his memories had taken on a new and different focus. Things like how the cotton of her shirt pulled gently across her breasts as she breathed. The sound of denim against her thighs as she crossed her legs beneath the desk.

He had pushed his head back in the snow and groaned, low and deep. His hands had fisted against the ground as new sensations slowly licked and lapped at him. He had told himself to stop this, he shouldn't think of her this way, it wasn't right...but then he realised it didn't feel wrong.

Edward had growled as he let himself go. He'd imagined how Bella's skin would feel against his, her hands in his hair and her legs wrapped around him while he held her; his hands cradling her head, holding her gaze as he slid into her, taking her, worshiping her, loving her. To feel her around him, surrounding him, taking him in and making him hers. His mouth on her neck; her name on his lips and his on hers as together they found ecstacy. He would show her with his body what he felt in his heart, and it would be so, so beautiful.

Eyes screwed shut, his body had arched and shuddered, his hands clawing at the earth as he'd cried her name into the night.

"BELLA!"

Then a broken whisper...

"Oh...Bella..."

He had laid there, his body humming, eyes wide as he'd realised what had just happened.

He'd rolled onto his stomach, breathless, panting softly, blinking hard.

He had waited for the mortification and the shame...but they hadn't come. Instead, he had only wished with all his heart that this experience had been with her.

That night had been almost a year ago, and though it didn't happen often, that first time hadn't been the last. But it was always bittersweet for him. For Edward the love only emphasised the loss.

He shook his head now as the feelings began to stir.

"Not tonight," he told himself.

He stood up. Rosalie and Emmett would be leaving for their honeymoon soon and he should be there to say goodbye. And on the rare and precious occasions when he _did _indulge, it was never something he wanted to rush. He took one more look at the stars, bidding Bella a silent goodnight as he moved away through the trees.

-0-

It was Monday. Edward sat in the back row of the auditorium, waiting for the lecture to begin. As usual, the girl, Jennifer, took the seat beside him. She gave him a small smile which he returned. Encouraged by this she decided to ask him about his brother's wedding. He asked her about the movie night. Then they were silent as the professor shuffled through the double doors.

The lecture began but as the professor's monotone filled the auditorium Jennifer's thoughts were elsewhere. They shaped and formed and as her resolve grew Edward shifted in his seat, subtly changing his position so he was turned a little away from her. He hoped his body language would be enough.

It wasn't.

She took a deep breath, inclined her head towards his, and began.

"Um, Edward...I was wondering if maybe, one day, if you're not doing anything after classes..." She paused and he gave an internal sigh. He looked up at her now.

"Would you like to grab a coffee...er...or something?" She shrugged. "You know...if you want to...one day..."

Without waiting for a response Jennifer looked quickly down at her book again while Edward's brow creased in a soft frown.

He had literally had thousands of such offers over the years. Coffee, dinner...and more. Where once he responded with a cool gaze and a curt _no thank you_, these days he took his time not to hurt feelings.

"Thank you," he whispered. "But I'm busy most days after class."

"Oh..." Jennifer looked up and then dropped her eyes back down again.

"And I wouldn't want to accept an invitation I couldn't fulfil," he added gently and hoped that got the message across.

She looked up again, blinking as reality began to dawn. _Of course_, she thought. _How could I be so stupid...someone like him..._

"You have a girlfriend?"

His throat tightened and so did he chest. A girlfriend.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat.

"There is someone..." he answered smoothly, vaguely.

Jennifer nodded, looking back at her book again. Of course he had someone.

"But thank you for the invitation," Edward said politely. She nodded again, smiling weakly but avoiding his gaze. Then Edward's eyes darted to the sandy haired boy two rows in front. Daniel.

Edward was well-familiar with the boy's shy but affectionate thoughts about Jennifer. He knew that Jennifer thought Daniel was 'kinda cute'.

"I think Daniel likes coffee," Edward said casually.

Jennifer's eyes flickered to the back of Daniel's head. In her mind Edward could see her considering.

Smiling, he turned back to his notebook and began sketching a pair of eyes set in a heart-shaped face.

He sighed softly.

Isabella Swan had wrenched his world apart with her wrecking-ball scent.

But really, everything changed even _before_ she'd walked in front of that air vent in the biology lab. It had started in the cafeteria and Jessica Stanley's unkind thoughts that had made Edward feel strangely _protective_ of the new girl with the intriguingly silent mind.

But his protectiveness had evaporated half an hour later when she had stumbled down the classroom aisle towards the lab desk they would share just twice.

Escaping to Alaska after that first, near-fatal biology lesson should have been the answer for him. He _should _have been able to write the incident off as a near miss and stayed away...but he couldn't. The inexplicable pull was too strong and he'd gone back.

Bella had survived their second biology lesson together and Edward had learned a little about her, including that he wanted to learn more. And he still hadn't understood why.

But he had fled Forks for good after that second lesson - his decision made when he saw Alice's vision of a pale-skinned Bella with blood-red eyes.

_No!_

That could never be allowed to happen. The girl, Bella, could never become a monster. He could not allow it.

He _would not _allow it.

Leaving was the hardest thing he had ever done. The_ thought_ of going had actually hurt him - a searing pain that lanced through his chest and settled there, making his heart its home.

But he knew that leaving was the right thing to do. For her. He had no choice. His feelings didn't come into it, even if he had understood what the feelings meant. Which he hadn't.

"You love her." Alice's words had struck him like an avalanche.

Love?

Was that what it was?

No.

He couldn't love a human.

Could he?

He had spent a month alone in a cave pondering that revelation, trying to understand. And when understanding finally came he'd felt no joy or excitement - only a crushing despair that he could never, ever be with the one he loved. He roared and railed at the fates that had decided his eternity would be spent alone; that meant he didn't even have the _hope _of love...and that Isabella Swan would never be loved the way she should be - because no-one would love her as deeply as he.

And the realisation that his love would be the most dangerous thing in her life...hurt.

It hurt so much it nearly broke him.

He had curled into a ball and wondered how he'd have the strength to get through the next day. He couldn't bear to think of the next thousand years. And the thousand after that.

Until one day, as he had wondered for the thousandth time what Isabella Swan was doing right at that moment, he had also wondered what _she_ would think of _him_...if she saw him at that moment.

Not much, he had supposed.

And that stung.

Edward had sat up and brushed the dirt from his knees and his shirt. He would never want her to see him like this...and that was when he found the strength to pull himself together. And from that strength came resolve and a strange sort of comfort that he was doing the best thing for the woman he loved.

T_hat his absence meant her life._

He began to change.

Everything he did now, he did with her in mind. He would be a better man for her, even if she never knew it. He would be someone that she would be glad to know, someone she would want to call her friend, even though they would never meet again.

So there would be no more slouching around high schools for him. Only college and real jobs.

He tried hard to remember what he'd been like as a human, hoping it would give him a clearer picture of Bella and the real meanings behind the words, expressions and blushes from their one and only conversation.

As a human teenage boy he had been shy and a little awkward, he remembered that. But then, most teenage boys were. He recalled that he would sometimes put up a false front of bravado to hide behind.

He had had strong opinions about the world and everything in it. Perhaps too strong for a lad of seventeen - he had argued with his father on more than one occasion.

But he had been a good son. His parents had loved him very much and he had loved them. He still loved them now.

Gradually, Edward's cool inconsequential attitude towards humans began to change and his long-buried humanity began to surface as he saw parts of himself in the humans around him.

And slowly, as the pieces fell into place, Edward's picture of Bella became clearer. She was selfless and brave. She thought of others. She was shy. But determined. And she was perceptive.

She wasn't vain - her lack of nail polish and make-up told him that. She hadn't even had her ears pierced.

He thought she might feel uncomfortable in her own skin. A bit like he had felt sometimes - and still did sometimes, even now.

He didn't know what she had thought of him.

His pencil moved over the page as he thought, shading her jaw, her throat and collarbones.

He often wondered where she was now, what she was doing. Which college had she chosen? What subjects had she taken, what career path did she plan? Wherever she was, he hoped the sun was on her skin.

He always avoided thoughts of boyfriends and marriage.

Sometimes he thought about finding her. Not so she'd know, he would just watch from a distance, see how she was. But he knew he would never be strong enough for that. He doubted he'd be able to leave her a second time. Once had nearly done him in, as it was. And if she had a boyfriend...then he wasn't sure what that would do to him. No, it was better this way. He would live _for_ her, and keep his memories just as they were.

"Mr Cullen?" The professor's voice pulled Edward from his thoughts. Quickly, he scanned the lecturer's mind.

"Electrostatic force," Edward answered and the professor nodded, going on to ask another question of someone else.

Jennifer's eyes were on Edward's sketch now, her thoughts wondering about the pretty girl with the thoughtful eyes. He flipped casually to a clean page in his notebook just as the phone in his pocket vibrated. Glad of something to distract Jennifer, Edward made a show of taking the phone out of his pocket and rolling his eyes in mock exasperation. Jennifer stifled a giggle and looked back to the front, the sketch forgotten. Edward looked at the screen in the palm of his hand.

It was a text from his lawyers in Chicago. The tenants of his house were moving out. It was time for Edward to play landlord.

-0-

The following weekend Edward stood in the empty living room of his human home and looked around. It had been five years since his last inspection.

The latest tenants had moved out two days before and thankfully the place had been left clean and in good condition. Although he wondered why anyone had thought a feature wall of burnt orange was a good idea. Had the agency granted them permission to do that? With the dull reflection from the grey, drizzly sky outside the wall looked like mud. It would have to go. Now. And he would do it himself - it would be quicker and he would do a better job than any decorator.

He took his car keys from his pocket and opened the front door.

Someone was moving into the Victorian terrace opposite his. (It had been converted into four small apartments some years earlier.) A tall, skinny reading lamp stood on the pavement, wobbling slightly in the breeze. A suitcase sat beside it. A small car was parked with its trunk open. Two girls, hoodies pulled over their heads against the spitting rain, were scrambling with a large, heavy-looking cardboard box, trying to pull it over the lip of the trunk, their feet slipping on the wet surface of the road.

Edward thought he would offer to help. He started down the front steps, ready to call out to them, just as the soft breeze picked up, blowing stronger. It knocked the lamp over so its plastic shade snapped in pieces against the ground.

A second later Edward was almost on his knees, shaking, gasping. His throat was on fire and his hand crushed the doorknob in his desperation to get back inside the house. He slammed the door shut behind him and sank to the floor, his body trembling uncontrollably. The growls ripped from his chest while the door shook and his throat blazed.

Isabella Swan.

Bella. _His Bella. _

_She was here._

And she had just wrenched his world apart all over again.

Her scent was still in his nostrils, filling him, possessing him. He could taste her on his tongue - his eyes rolled back in his head. Edward bared his teeth and he snarled. His hands clawed at the floor boards, carving deep, jagged grooves in the wood as he fought to control himself. The monster rattled its cage - but the monster was weak, because while this scent still called to the most primal part of him,_ it meant something more, now._

Edward forced himself to take a deep breath. And another. The slightly stale air of his house eased his throat and cleared his mind enough that he could think...but just barely.

He struggled to his feet and went to the window. He peeked out, eyes wide, as he watched from behind the blinds. His body still shook. His mind was all disarray and utter confusion.

She was laughing now. Her hood had slipped and the wind was whipping her hair around her face as she and the other girl attempted to carry the box up the front steps.

So beautiful. So, so beautiful.

The last time he'd seen her he hadn't known he loved her. Now he saw her with new eyes that devoured her. And a new heart that, right now, was almost beating.

"Bella..." His voice cracked. His long fingers gripped hard onto the window sill - he barely registered the splintering of the wood.

Why was she in Chicago? Why wasn't she somewhere warm? He had wanted her to have warmth and sunlight - she liked that. He had imagined her on beaches in California, or Hawaii - walking across sunny campuses with her arms full of books while the light played on her hair.

This new development was too much for him to take in and even his vampire-sized brain was having trouble understanding.

She was here. She was really here.

And so was he.

He wouldn't let himself think where this could lead.

Bella's mind was still silent to him but he focused on the thoughts of her friend, hoping for answers.

But he found none. She was too focused on the blind date she was setting up for her brother.

The girls disappeared through the front doors and Edward stood up and began pacing. Where were Alice's visions when he needed them? He snatched his phone from his pocket, hoping to see a message from his sister, but there were none. How could she not have seen this coming? Or had she seen something and decided not to tell him? He tried calling her, but her phone didn't answer. He left a curt message.

"It's Edward. Call me."

And then he hung up.

He growled, pulling hands through his hair as he prowled and paced, waiting for...he didn't know what.

He'd spent every moment of the last two years dealing with his feelings for Bella, accepting them, _managing_ them, and now...

It was like being back at square one again. Like he was back in that biology lab watching her walk down the aisle towards his desk.

He put his fist through the wall.

When Alice called an hour later Edward was sitting in his boyhood bedroom, hugging his knees to his chest while he watched the windows of Bella's apartment.

"What am I going to do?" he growled down the phone and Alice sighed.

"I don't know, Edward. Only you know that, I can only see the result when you decide."

He screwed his eyes shut and banged the back of his head against the wall. The plaster cracked.

"I can't let her go again," he ground out.

"I know. And...I don't think you should."

His eyes snapped open.

"What are you saying?"

"I...I don't know, really. It's like last time, Edward. Nothing is clear...I couldn't even see this coming. You're at a cross-roads. You just have to choose which way to go."

"I don't _know_ which way to go."

Alice sighed again.

"I think you do, Edward. You just told me you couldn't leave again." She paused and let her words sink in. "Think about it, Edward."

He was silent.

"I think you have your answer," Alice said softly.

Edward let out a sharp breath. His chest felt heavy and tight.

"I don't...I can't..." He pulled his hand through his hair, tugging on the strands so hard it almost hurt. "I don't know how I'm going to..."

"But it's different now, Edward," Alice cut him off gently.

"How?" he snapped. "Tell me how it's different, Alice! I'm still a vampire, she's still human and her scent..." His eyes closed, he couldn't even finish the sentence. "Nothing's changed!"

But as soon as he said the words he realised he was wrong.

_He _had changed.

His eyes opened as he began to wonder.

He was not the same boy he'd been in that biology lab. In the past two years he'd done something almost unheard of for a vampire - he had grown and matured and changed. Alice seemed to read his mind.

"Things _have _changed, haven't they, Edward?"

"Maybe," he muttered by way of response.

"Definitely."

He shrugged.

There was silence as Edward continued to think and Alice let him.

"Maybe," he said again after a moment. "But I'm still a risk to her, Alice. I am _still_ the most dangerous thing in her world."

"Are you?"

He scowled. "What do you mean, _am I_? Of course I am."

"You love her, don't you?"

He clenched his teeth. "You know I do."

"Would you ever do anything to hurt her?"

"No! Of course not! Why would you even... " He shook his head. "That's why I've stayed away, that's why I should stay away again _now._"

Alice sighed. "So, you'd never do anything to hurt her?"

"No! Never!" He was almost shouting now. Just the thought of Bella coming to any harm filled him with such horror and dread and pain and...oh...

"Think about what you just said, Edward."

But he already was.

He sighed and closed his eyes again, letting this new concept bloom and grow. He loved her more than he wanted her blood. He could never hurt her. He knew that now.

"Will you call me if you see anything?" he whispered.

"I promise."

He hit _end call_ and let the phone fall to the floor so he could hold his head with his hands.

"Alright," he muttered as he stared at his feet. "I'm not going anywhere...so now what?"

He spent the next two days thinking and planning, then revising those plans, and thinking some more.

He almost paced a hole in the floor. If his fingernails weren't like steel he would have bitten them down to the bone. If he was human he would have ground his teeth to stumps.

Should he just watch over Bella from afar for the rest of her life, like some sort of guardian angel? The irony of that wasn't lost on him.

Or could he re-introduce himself and find a place in her life, however small? Even if he was just that guy she met once in Forks who happened to live across the street now. Someone to wave "hi" to in passing. Except he could only be in her life for a year or two, before she realised he wasn't ageing. Even now he looked too much the same.

Or...did he try for something more? The thought thrilled and terrified him. And he had no idea what that _more _could be.

He paced and prowled and weighed up every option. He analysed every possible scenario.

He watched her apartment from his window. He would see her come and go but was never sure where she went - and that bothered him. College, he assumed. Maybe shopping sometimes. There had been a bag of groceries at one point.

She listened to a lot of music. She didn't seem to have a television. Her lights were usually off by eleven, and she was up again at six thirty.

There had been one other visitor - a young man with a housewarming gift and lots of decorator tips and whose thoughts told Edward that Bella was single and he was gay.

She was single. Her male friend was gay.

This piece of information pleased Edward very much, but it didn't really help his decision.

He re-weighed his options and re-analysed the scenarios. Over and over again.

On Tuesday night he went hunting.

By Wednesday morning he had made his decision.

He waited for Alice to call, but she didn't.

On Wednesday afternoon Edward watched Bella's small car turn into the street and pull up out the front of her building.

He flung the window open wide as she stepped out onto the pavement. The wind was blowing and he pulled in a deep, deep lungfulof air. It was like hot knives in his throat as her scent assaulted him. He pulled in another breath, and another. Another. The burn was relentless, but the monster made no appearance.

Over the past few days Edward had come to realise that this was not the scent of torment and temptation and anguish...

...this was the scent of second chances.

He raced down the stairs three at a time, pulled open the front door and almost ran out into the street. He slowed when he hit the pavement.

What if she didn't remember him? What if she _did _remember and didn't like him? What was he going to say? What would she say? What if she told him to go away? Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he should just turn around and leave.

But he knew he wouldn't. He squared his shoulders and started walking.

Bella was grabbing her book bag from the back seat of the car. She looked up as he approached, her eyes curious, and his steps almost faltered.

Her eyes...dear Lord, her eyes. His knees actually felt weak.

And suddenly it felt to Edward like everything had slowed down. The road felt a mile wide. His footsteps were loud, echoing on the asphalt as he walked.

And her heartbeat...it was everywhere, surrounding him so his own body felt alive with its rhythm.

And her scent...

Her scent was on the air, his throat burned but he barely noticed because right now that scent meant she was here and he had hope.

At last he reached her.

"Bella?" Edward tried to keep the shake from his voice. His memory had been no match for her beauty - he could see that now as he stood before her. He swallowed as she frowned at him and he hesitated slightly. Then her eyes widened. Her brows shot up and her mouth dropped open. He swallowed again.

"It's Edward," he said. "Edward Cullen, from Forks High."

She stared at him, speechless, but he saw the blush rise in her cheeks. She began to bite her lip. He sucked in a nervous breath, stuck out his hand and smiled.

"Hi."

**A/N: This is just a short story - two, maybe three chapters. I hope you liked this first chapter, and will stick around for the next one (or two). Cheers :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Huge thanks to Melanie for betaing and just being great :)**

**Thank you so much for the reviews and messages for the last chapter - the response has blown me away, thank you.**

Edward felt like every moment of his existence had telescoped down to now, _to this second, _as he stood in front of Isabella Swan.

He couldn't even say he'd imagined what this moment would be like, because he had never allowed himself the luxury of imagining they might meet again. And yet here she was...and so was he.

And right now he wanted to fall at Bella's feet and praise whatever power had given him another chance. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and carry her off into the sunset. He wanted to tell her he loved her.

He wanted her to love him too.

He wanted not to screw this up.

But he began to wonder if maybe he was. Because as the moment stretched between them Bella continued to remain silent. And she still hadn't taken his outstretched hand.

Her cheeks were beautifully flushed as she stared at him, her eyes wide and bright with something Edward couldn't fathom. He searched for recognition and definitely found surprise. Maybe shock. Was that good? Did that mean she remembered? He didn't know. His hand began to shake.

She was so beautiful.

The chestnut of her hair, the porcelain of her skin, just as he'd remembered. Eyes that he could just melt into - but still held their secrets.

In two years she had barely changed.

Edward breathed in slowly, drawing her essence deep inside him. He welcomed the burn.

But through the clamour of emotions that churned inside him, there was one feeling that was slowly creeping forward as the seconds passed.

Defeat.

He could feel it, crushing him from the inside out.

Edward swallowed and slowly began to lower his trembling, empty hand.

"We only met very briefly," he said softly. "You may not remember."

Bella blinked rapidly.

"No...I mean yes...I mean...I remember," she stammered. Her skin flushed an even deeper crimson, right down to her chest. "Biology, right? Onion root."

Her hand shot out to meet Edward's. Her touch was electricity, her warmth flowing through him as his fingers closed around hers and Edward's body felt like it was waking from a long, heavy sleep. Bella's eyes flickered just slightly and he wondered if she felt it too. Or perhaps it _was_ just the feel of his icy skin. He pushed that thought away. Instead he smiled.

"Onion root," he nodded and his relief was sweet.

She remembered him.

Edward decided he never wanted this moment to end. Because right nowas Bella smiled at him and held his hand, anything was possible and the almost insurmountable differences between them didn't exist.

But when de Bussey began playing from the depths of Bella's pocket, the moment was broken and she dropped Edward's hand.

"Oh, um, excuse me," she flustered and began rummaging for her cell phone. She turned it off quickly and slid it back in her pocket. "Sorry about that."

Edward felt a spark of pleasure - she'd put him ahead of her call. And her ringtone made him smile with surprise.

"You like Debussey?"

Bella gave an awkward shrug. "Yeah, I do. I know it's not very..."

"Arabesque is great," Edward offered quickly. "It's one of my favourites."

Bella's face lit up and Edward thought his knees might buckle.

"Me too," she said. "And Claire de Lune."

"Another favourite," he smiled back. "Although it wouldn't work so well for a ring tone. Too soft."

"Yeah," she grinned. "I used to have Linkin Park, but it startled me every time someone called." She rolled her eyes at herself and Edward chuckled.

"Which song was it?"

"Numb. Do you know it?"

He was grinning too, now.

"I know it," he said. "I have the album." It had been playing on his car stereo as he'd driven from Vermont five days earlier.

Silence fell between them now, although they were still smiling at each other. Edward was happy to just absorb the moment and lose himself in Bella's eyes. He was marvelling at the difference between this meeting and their last one.

After another moment Bella dropped her eyes and began to pick absently at her sleeve. Her lip was between her teeth and Edward realised she was feeling shy now.

He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck and looked at his shoes while he wondered what he should do or say next. He didn't want her to feel shy, he wanted her to feel comfortable. He wanted to return to the ease of a few moments ago. _Think, Cullen! _He wondered if he should say something more about the music.

But suddenly, and surprisingly, Bella saved _him._

"So, um...I thought your family moved to California." She looked up at him, eyes curious now.

Edward nodded, vaguely acknowledging the cover story behind his family's sudden departure from Forks two years before. He didn't want to talk about himself and he particularly didn't want to give credence to a lie. Not with Bella. He only wanted to be open and honest with her, though he knew he couldn't be - not yet.

"I've been at college in Vermont though," he clarified. "But what about you?" He wanted to hear everything about her. "I thought you didn't like the cold."

Bella's eyes popped open. So did her mouth.

"You remember that?" Her whisper was incredulous and now Edward had a moment of internal panic. Had he said something wrong? He swallowed and pulled a hand through his hair.

"Er, yes."

Bella bit her lip and Edward's eyes followed the movement of her throat as she swallowed, hard.

"I just...I wouldn't have expected to find you in Chicago," he elaborated. "UCLA maybe, or Florida, but..."

He shoved his hands in his pockets now because he didn't know what else to do with them and they suddenly felt too big.

"Um, I got a scholarship to come here. To the University of Chicago." Bella's words were casually said but Edward could hear the underlying pride in her voice. And he realised he was proud of her too.

"A scholarship?" His grin stretched across his face. He wanted to grab her and swing her around. Or hug her. But he controlled himself. "That's great," he said instead.

He pulled his hands from his pockets and rested them on his hips. "What are you studying?"

"Anthropology."

This surprised him, though he wasn't sure why. Maybe because for the past two years whenever he'd wondered what she was studying, he'd mostly imagined her in a lab coat looking through microscopes.

"What about you?" Bella asked suddenly.

"Civil engineering."

"Oh?" She seemed surprised too and he wondered if she'd been imagining him differently, as well. In fact, the thought that she might have been imagining him at all was thrilling.

Suddenly, Edward felt very warm inside. He put his hands back in his pockets.

"But, erm, I'm transferring here...to Chicago," he continued.

Bella's eyes widened. "Really?"

He let out a breath. "Really."

He had made his final decision at four o'clock that morning as he kept watch over Bella's apartment from his old bedroom window.

Now Bella was staring at her feet. She was shy again, but she made no move to go and that pleased him.

Edward wanted to ask a thousand questions - there were a million things he wanted to know. He thought carefully about what to say next.

"Do you live here?" he nodded towards the building behind them.

"Yeah. Just moved in." Bella turned and looked at the building too. "I was sharing another apartment with a friend but her boyfriend moved in and ..." She shrugged the rest of her sentence and Edward understood. He lived with three couples.

"You?" she asked. "I mean, where will you live when you transfer?"

"I already have somewhere. I'm across the street." He pointed to his house and Bella's eyes widened again. Edward heard her heart as it picked up its pace.

"You'll be living across the street?"

Edward nodded, watching her reaction closely. He thought he saw just the slightest twitch of her lips. He couldn't be sure, but he thought she was pleased.

Bella looked down again and Edward fought the urge to duck his head and peek under the curtain of hair that shielded her face.

Debussey played again.

Bella's hand went to her pocket and Edward's went to his hair.

She frowned at the screen and texted something very quickly as she apologised again.

Edward looked away, determined not to invade her privacy even though he wanted to.

"Um, I'd better get going," Bella murmured as she slipped the phone back in her pocket.

Disappointment washed over Edward and he wondered if it showed in his face because Bella seemed suddenly anxious to explain.

"It's just...I start work in half an hour. I have to get ready."

"Where do you work?" The question was out before Edward had time to think if it was appropriate or not to ask. Thankfully, Bella didn't seem to mind.

"Greenhaven Village." She tucked her hair behind her ears and Edward's eyes followed the motion closely. He wished he could do that for her. "It's a retirement home," she added.

"Oh."

Another silence fell. And then Bella took a deep breath. She was frowning now and her body had tensed.

"Well, it's been really nice seeing you, Edward. I'll probably see you around...you know, if you're right across the street."

She smiled as she adjusted her bag over her shoulder and took a hesitant step backwards, towards her building. Immediately Edward felt the distance growing between them, and he wasn't sure what to do.

"It's been nice seeing you too, Bella."

Was that it? Was that all? Was he just going to be the guy she waved to across the street after all?

Bella turned and was walking up the steps to her front door. Edward opened his mouth, and closed it again. Twice. Then he turned and started to walk away slowly, back to his house. His feet were heavy, like dead weights at the ends of his legs. His heart and mind were in turmoil. He pulled both hands through his hair as the empty terrace house loomed closer.

She seemed reluctant to go, he thought. And she could have used that first phone call as an excuse to get away, but she hadn't. She'd shut it off and talked to him instead.

Edward inhaled deeply and squared his shoulders. He gave himself a quick, internal pep talk. Then he turned and jogged smoothly back across the street, just as Bella slid her key into the lock.

"Would you like to catch up sometime?"

Bella turned quickly, jerking the key out of the lock and almost tumbling over her feet. She blinked at Edward who was looking up at her hopefully from the footpath.

"We could go for a walk...or something..." he said. The wind blew his hair over his face and he pushed it out of the way quickly.

"A walk?"

Edward nodded.

"You want to go for a walk with me?" Bella sounded puzzled and now Edward gave an internal groan.

What was he thinking? A walk was something he would have suggested in 1918.

Not 2007.

But he re-grouped quickly.

"Or...we could grab a coffee...if you'd like?" Now he sounded like Jennifer.

He shoved his hands deep in his pockets where they fisted and clenched, over and over. He was standing on a precipice and Bella had the power to save him or let him fall.

Why was this so hard? _How did anyone ever do this_?

Bella was still staring and Edward was convinced he'd blown things. He had wanted too much. He should have been happy with the smiles and waves. He prepared to retreat.

"A walk sounds great," Bella said suddenly and now Edward blinked at her. Was she saying yes? His smile started slowly. "I'm not much of a coffee drinker," she added, almost apologetically.

"Me neither." Edward was grinning now. She'd said yes. _She'd said yes!_ In his mind he took a big step back from the edge. "How about tomorrow?" he asked.

"I'm working tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh."

"But I'm free on Friday after classes. Does that work?"

"It works."

"Okay," Bella nodded and smiled and her cheeks flushed pink. "Um, I'll see you then?"

Edward nodded. "See you then."

She gave a last smile then turned back to the door, putting the key back in the lock.

Edward decided it would probably look odd and slightly creepy if he stayed there just watching her, so he dragged himself away, trying to seem cool as he turned his back and crossed the road. As he hit the footpath on the other side he allowed himself a quick peek over his shoulder. His heart nearly burst when he caught Bella peeking back at him, too.

-0-

Edward never travelled without his i-pod or his laptop, so as Bella left for work he turned up his music and went on-line.

He started the process for his college transfer.

He advised his lawyers he was taking his house off the rental market.

He ordered some furniture.

And he made a phone call to his family.

Forty five minutes later Edward climbed into hiscar and made a flying dash to Vermont.

His car flew over the night roads with it's headlights off and its wheels barely touching the asphalt. He was going to pack up his life there so he could try a new one in Chicago.

And as he drove he analysed. Because that's what Edward did.

It had been a risk offering to shake Bella's hand right off the bat like that. His cold skin could have repulsed her, or made her wary. But he had been desperate for her touch, her warmth, and to feel some connection. But more than that, there had been a need for him to be himself, to show something of the real Edward and not the human facade he presented.

This is me. My skin is cold.

But the risk had paid off, he thought. Bella hadn't pulled away like most humans would, and there had been a flicker of something in her expression as their hands touched...he hoped she had felt a connection too.

He went over every blush, every word, every gesture, every smile - several times. And he kept coming up with the same conclusion...

... it was too soon to get too excited.

After her initial surprise Bella had seemed happy to see him. And she had accepted his invitation. Both good signs as far as Edward was concerned.

But a walk was one thing - a _future_ was something else.

He scowled now, steering expertly with one hand while he rubbed the other over his face. As always, anything to do with Bella was complex and confusing.

He exhaled sharply and turned the car onto another back-road as a myriad of complications closed in on him in the dark. He shook himself and pushed them away. He decided instead to focus on Bella's smiles and the fact that they were going for a walk together on Friday.

A walk with Bella.

Edward grinned now. He turned up the stereo, full blast, and beat time with Linkin Park all the way to Vermont.

-0-

His family was waiting for him when he arrived. He was met with Esme's joy and excitement, Carlisle's optimism and Jasper's wariness.

"Alice says to trust you," Jasper had told his brother . "So I'm trusting Alice."

And now Alice sat cross-legged on Edward's desk, watching as he moved quickly between his closet and the duffle bag laying open on his black leather couch.

"Not the red sweater!" She shot out a hand and Edward looked down at the bundle he was holding.

"What's wrong with it?"

"That shade of red's not _really_ your colour." She made a face and he rolled his eyes.

"You're telling me _now_, after I've worn it twice already?" He shook his head and put the sweater in the bag anyway.

"True, but you weren't trying to impress a girl until _now_, Edward."

He stilled. And then slowly pulled the red sweater out of the bag and dropped it, very casually, onto the couch. Alice smirked and Edward ignored her. He strolled back to his closet.

"Oh, you can't take that either!" She snatched a grey Navy Annapolis sweatshirt from his hand.

"Why not?"

She held it up by its hood and shook her head. "It's so _old,_ Edward. You've had it since 1964!"

"So it's vintage," he justified. "And it's good for hunting."

It was secretly his favourite piece of clothing. He grabbed it from his sister, who snatched it right back again. She lobbed it neatly into his waste paper basket and sighed.

"I've wanted to do that for years. I swear it still smells of Woodstock."

"I wasn't at Woodstock," Edward grumbled and picked the sweatshirt out of the bin. Now Alice rolled _her_ eyes.

"Well, just don't let Bella see you in it," she grumbled back and Edward smirked. It wasn't often she let him win. But as he shoved the sweatshirt into the duffle bag he hoped that maybe one day Bella_ would_ get to see him in it.

His mood shifted.

"It will be alright, won't it Alice?" His eyes dropped and his fingers played with the zipper of the bag. Alice hugged her knees.

"You won't hurt her, you're quite resolved, I can see that."

Edward smiled softly. "The future?" he asked.

Alice frowned, her beautiful features creasing delicately as she thought. "I can't see anything else yet, not clearly anyway...but it _feels_ right, if that makes sense?" She cocked her head, blinking at her brother.

He nodded. It made about as much sense as anything else at the moment.

He had no idea how this would play out, everything was against it working, he knew that. But Edward had love. And he had hope.

And he had to try.

-0-

They walked to Garfield Park.

It had been Edward's suggestion. The park was beautiful with its conservatory and lagoon and its historic Floral Arch. And Edward had visited the park sometimes as a child so it held fond, if vague, memories for him.

It was also at least a good twenty minutes each way, so he could have Bella to himself for an hour or more, if he was lucky.

He was so aware of her beside him as they walked; the warmth and energy radiating from her body...

...it wrapped around him like a blanket.

Edward breathed in her scent and let his throat burn while his heart rejoiced. She was here.

Of course he had called for her, and as they'd set off from her front door he had wanted to offer her his arm. And if it had been 1918 he would have.

But it wasn't 1918.

So they walked side by side, talking about her new history assignment and his transfer, while they both balled their hands tightly in their pockets.

They sat on the grass by the lagoon and Edward showed off, skimming stones perfectly across the surface of the water, making them bounce and dance.

"Impressive," Bella smirked and Edward smiled.

"There's a lake in Switzerland, in the Bernese Alps, that's perfectly still," he said. "It has perfect reflection and they say if you skim stones across it, it looks like glass breaking." Edward actually knew this because he'd done it.

Bella smiled. "That sounds beautiful," she said. "I saw a lake like that in France. I tried skimming, but my stone just sank."

It took a fraction of a second for Edward to realise what Bella had just said.

"You've been to France?"

"Uh huh."

"When?"

"Between graduation and starting college." She had been sitting with her legs curled under her, but she stretched out now, leaning back on her hands. She tilted her head to look at the sky and extended her neck as she did so. She breathed deeply. And while part of Edward's mind was still absorbing the fact she'd been to France, another part marvelled that she felt comfortable enough with him to expose herself that way. Even unwittingly.

She made another shift, changing her position and curling her legs beneath her again, the opposite way this time. Her movement broke Edward's gaze. Now he stared at her profile, her eyes downcast as she plucked at the grass, and he focussed on what she'd just said.

He had questions, so many questions, and he didn't know where to start. So he summed it up in two words.

"Tell me?"

Bella suddenly seemed self-conscious. She pulled her legs up to her chest slowly and hugged them.

"There's not a lot to tell, really."

Edward begged to differ. But he remembered how uncomfortable she'd been talking about herself in that biology lesson when he was so fixated on her. So now he looked down and busied himself with plucking at the grass and hoped his change of focus helped.

It did.

"How long were you gone?" He twirled a particularly long blade around his finger.

"Four months. July to October."

Four months during peak season? Edward's eyebrows went up.

"That would have been expensive."

Bella shrugged. "I worked at a bookshop in Port Angeles through junior and senior year. And I did some tutoring work, too. I thought I'd need the money for college so I saved almost everything I earned." She shrugged again. "It all added up. And while I was away I travelled cheaply. Youth hostels, train passes, visiting museums after three o'clock to get the cheaper entry fees. Oh yeah, and I lived on bread and cheese." She gave a little laugh and Edward chanced a look at her and smiled. Bella stopped hugging her legs and curled them beneath her again instead. Edward was pleased that she seemed to be relaxing into the conversation a little more now.

"Were there no jobs in Forks? Is that why you went all the way to Port Angeles?" It would have been a ninety minute round trip in that old red truck she used to drive. The thought of her on long roads in that rust bucket would have made his blood run cold. If he had any.

"I could have had a job at Newton's," Bella answered. "But I kind of liked getting out of Forks two times a week and on Saturdays. And there wasn't really anything to hang around for in Forks."

So no boyfriend? The thought popped into Edward's head unexpectedly.

"Anyway, by the time I got the scholarship my parents were both settled and..."

"Settled?"

"Yeah. My dad was seeing Sue Clearwater and things were serious so I knew he'd be looked after. And my mom was happy with Phil, so I thought...why not go and see the things I'd always read about? I didn't know when I'd ever have an opportunity like that again. So I bought a plane ticket and flew to London."

"Just like that?"

"Mm, not quite. I guess I was a bit more organised than that," she chuckled and the sound filled Edward. He smiled, slow and warm, and wondered vaguely if he was asking too many questions. But if he was then Bella didn't seem to mind...not _now_, anyway. He looked away again, staring at a tree where someone had carved a heart and initials in the bark.

"Did you go with a tour group?"

He looked back in time to catch Bella's grimace.

"I'm not really a tour group type of person."

Now a sudden coldness began creeping over him.

"Then...you went alone?"

When Bella nodded Edward's mind immediately filled with the horror of what could have gone wrong. A young woman, travelling alone, far from home in foreign cities... he _knew_ what humans were capable of...he _knew_ their evil...he'd made it his mission at one time to hunt down and dispose of society's worst. Images of eighty years before assaulted his memory.

_Anything _could have happened to Bella..._anything_... and he would never have known. There would have been nothing he could do.

He almost felt sick.

A primal instinct to protect surged through him. His body tensed, his jaw clenched and his mouth filled with venom. He swallowed it down quickly and focussed on the fact that Bella was safe beside him.

She was safe. She was here.

He inhaled deeply, pulling in her scent, letting the burn reassure and calm him.

She was here.

"Did you run into any problems? Travelling alone?" Even he could hear the tightness in his voice.

She gave a small laugh.

"You sound like my dad," she said and Edward wasn't surprised. He was fairly sure he and Chief Swan would have been on the same page about this. "No," she continued. "I didn't have any real problems. It was scary sometimes, but that can be a good thing, can't it?"

Edward wasn't sure. "Maybe," was all he could manage. He took another breath. "So, your father wasn't happy about you going?"

"No. We actually fought like crazy about it. He said I didn't understand the dangers, I was too young and I didn't know what I was doing."

Her face crumpled now at the memory and Edward wanted so badly to hold her.

"I nearly caved...," Bella went on. "I _nearly_ went to Canada instead, just to keep the peace." She heaved a deep breath. "But I knew I'd never forgive myself if I gave in." And she started plucking at the grass again. "You never know what's going to happen to you, from one day to the next, right?"

Edward nodded.

"So why wait ten or twenty years to do something I could do now? Life's too short."

Edward could see how important this had been for her. It was written in her eyes and every line of her expression. In the way she plucked at the grass. He could hear it in her voice. He suspected it had been the first time in her life when she had done something for herself.

But this side of her personality was new to him. He was familiar with her blushes and her shyness, and her quiet feistiness, but he'd seen nothing of her 'seize the day' outlook on life back in Forks. The memory of her reversing, oh so cautiously, out of the school parking lot came to mind. But then that was two years ago and he'd only known her for two hours. And one hour of that they'd spent in silence while he'd glared at her.

At the back of his mind Edward wondered if something had happened to bring about the change, or if she had always felt that way and he'd not had the opportunity to see it.

"Did Charlie come around in the end?"

"He did," Bella smiled softly. "When he realised I was going to do it whether he liked it or not. He drove me to the airport and I made sure I sent him a postcard every other day so he knew I was okay."

"Sounds like a compromise."

"Yeah. Just took a while to get there. I brought him back a great collection of baseball caps."

Edward wanted to take her hand - for a moment he even thought about doing it. But Bella moved before he could work up the courage. She stretched out again on the grass, resting back on her elbows.

Edward stretched out too, mirroring her pose. There was silence for a moment. And then he spoke.

"So, did you enjoy Europe?"

Bella's face lit up. "It was the best."

Edward chuckled and she rolled her eyes.

"Where did you like best?"

"Mm, maybe Florence. Or London. Have you ever been?"

Edward nodded. "A few years ago. With my family." It wasn't a total lie - although the_ few_ years had been closer to twenty.

He rolled onto his side, facing Bella and propping his head up with his hand as he smiled.

"I liked Rome," he said. "I thought it was fascinating...the history and the ruins."

Bella rolled on her side too, and though there was some distance between them Edward felt so close to her, like they were in their own little bubble.

"Rome was cool," she said. "Did you see the Trevi Fountain?"

"Yes."

"Was it different than you'd imagined? I'd been expecting this huge, open square with the fountain in the middle of it." She drew a plan on the grass with her finger.

"I know what you mean," Edward chuckled. "It's kind of tucked away, isn't it?"

"But it's still very beautiful."

"Very beautiful." There was something in the way he said it that made Bella blush.

"Tell me what else you liked," he murmured and Bella took a deep breath. They were looking into each other's eyes and now she didn't seem self-conscious at all.

"Mm, where do I start?"

"Anywhere."

Edward listened, entranced, while she talked about Juliet's balcony in Verona and the cottage where Shakespeare had lived in England. They compared notes on the Mona Lisa and the Eiffel Tower. They swapped stories about Madame Tussaud's and Venetian gondolas.

They disagreed over the Loch Ness Monster - she believed and he didn't.

"You can't_ ignore_ repeated, consistent anecdotal evidence," Bella argued. She was sitting up again now, using her hands to make her point.

"I disagree." Edward shook his head and sat up too. "The vague ramblings of a few individuals don't offer anything conclusive. These people could be looking for publicity and attention, or they've gone there wanting to see the monster so badly that _anything _they see...a piece of rubbish, or a tree branch, must be it." He dismissed it all with a sweep of his hand.

Although, it suddenly occurred to him that _he _existed, despite a lack of concrete proof. The irony of his argument was not lost on him. It still didn't make him believe, though.

Bella was shaking her head vehemently.

"But it's not just the vague ramblings of a few individuals, Edward. There are hundreds of reports, _consistent_ reports, over more than a hundred years."

"Did you see anything while you were there?" He arched a brow, challenging her. She narrowed her eyes.

"No."

Edward smirked and laid back down while Bella made a sound of exasperation.

"The first sightings date back to the middle ages, maybe further." She wasn't to be put off. "Now you can't say they wanted publicity back then." She arched a brow of her own, daring him to disagree.

"They weren't after publicity as we think of it now, I'll agree with you there," he said. "But it would have given them some sort of status within their community. Human beings haven't changed so much with the passing of time. Most people want to be the centre of attention."

Bella screwed up her face. "I don't."

Edward screwed up his face, too. "Neither do I."

Then Bella laughed. "So when we see the Loch Ness Monster...?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "We'll keep it to ourselves."

She laughed again. And though Edward knew she was only joking around, just the fact that she'd said_ we_ made his chest swell and his body hum. He grinned at her.

And then his grin faltered.

This was going so well. It felt so easy. No, it was more than that...this felt _natural._

But that pained Edward as much as it pleased him. Because now, if things didn't work out, the loss would be so much greater. The thought was unbearable.

Edward had never been on a roller-coaster and now he wondered if this was how it felt. Everything was up and down. His heart was in his mouth, his stomach dropped, his head was spinning. His white-knuckled fists were clenched tight, now. He wanted to yell with excitement.

And fear.

There was still so much to get through. He still had to tell Bella what he was. And then what could he offer her? Nothing but his love and devotion. If she stayed with him then hers would be an unsettled life with no prospect of children, always moving, always running from the sun.

And she would age, and while that made absolutely no difference to Edward, these days he was aware enough to know it would probably matter to Bella. She wouldn't want to get old while he stayed seventeen.

So Edward's mood plummeted. And Bella noticed.

"Are you okay?" Her brow creased in concern.

"I'm fine." He forced a smile. He hoped it seemed genuine.

"D'you want to go?"

"No. I like it here with you." He'd spoken without thought, his words simple and sincere and from his heart. For a second he wondered if it was too much...but Bella smiled.

"Me too."

And at that Edward's mood lifted. He pushed his melancholy thoughts away. They had no place here, not now. He decided he would take things one day at a time and right now, today, _things_ were pretty good.

Bella grimaced slightly and stretched. "I'm getting stiff," she murmured.

Instantly Edward stood. He offered his hand to help her up but she didn't notice. She was too busy scrambling to her feet and brushing grass from her jeans. So Edward stuck his hands back in his pockets.

He wondered what to do now. He looked down at Bella and hesitantly brushed some more grass from her shoulder. Her eyes followed the movement and a small smile crept across her lips and Edward asked if she wanted to look around the park some more.

They walked around the lagoon. They strolled through the conservatory. The thoughts of those around them told Edward that he and Bella looked like a lovely couple. And as Bella walked beside him he felt ten feet tall.

They talked about music again. And books. And Edward's house.

"So it's not a conversion, like mine?" Bella blinked at him.

"Er no. It belonged to my parents." Now _Edward_ felt a little self-conscious. He told Bella a careful version of the truth. "When they died I inherited it and it's been leased ever since. Until now, of course."

Edward's step almost faltered as he saw concern flicker in Bella's eyes. She was concerned for him?

"Will it be hard, living there?"

They stopped walking. Edward pulled a hand through his hair. His mind had been so occupied with Bella since he'd arrived in Chicago that he'd not thought about what it would be like living in his childhood home again.

"It's fine," he said softly after a moment, although now he wasn't entirely sure. "It was a long time ago, I don't remember very much."

He started walking again. Bella's hand grazed his, her fingers stroking lightly over the back of his knuckles in a caress that was too brief. Edward knew it wasn't an accident; it was her shy way of offering comfort. His throat tightened as he smiled down at her. "It won't be hard living there."

They walked under the Floral Arch and through the gardens. They explored the gazebo. Bella's stomach rumbled and Edward bought her a hotdog from a stand. He tried not to notice how her lips wrapped around the bun.

The light started to fade, the wind came up and Bella tugged her jacket close around her. Edward could smell a change in the weather.

"Rain's coming," he said, looking at the clouds. "We should probably head back."

Edward didn't want the walk to end. He didn't want to go back to the reality that meant this might be their only 'date'.

He wanted to ask Bella out again. He hoped she would say yes if he did, but he couldn't be sure.

Now he wondered what he should do when he dropped her at her door. Could he kiss her hand? Her cheek? Would that be alright? He gave an internal groan.

Edward had no frame of reference. He had never done anything like this before, even as a human. The closest he'd come was walking Emily Atkins home one night after a church social when he was sixteen. She'd blown him a kiss as she'd closed her front door and in his surprise Edward had stumbled backwards down the porch steps and fallen painfully into the rose garden.

And Beatrice McMasters kissed him full on the lips once after he'd helped her fix the chain on her bicycle. But it was over before he'd even realised what was happening and he'd stood, dumbfounded, as she'd ridden off home. She hadn't looked back and, for some reason he never understood, she never spoke to him again.

No, his track record wasn't good.

Edward was still pondering his 'goodnight' when the rain started. Instinctively and without thought he took Bella by the hand and ran, pulling her gently behind him.

The rain was hard and heavy, its drops sharp and cold as they hit. Edward looked around frantically for shelter but suddenly, from behind him, Bella was laughing. He turned sharply, still running, and looked at her. The wind was tossing her hair, her cheeks were pink and she was hanging on to him tightly. She looked carefree and so happy. Edward grinned at her obvious delight...and then he was laughing too. The rain picked up and they ran harder, past houses with tall fences and no shelter. It was another block before they finally stopped under the awning that covered the doorway of a corner store.

The space was small and Edward pulled Bella in close, letting the rain fall down his back so she could be dry. She was pressed softly against him and she made no move to shift away. Edward could feel warmth spreading through his body. Bella looked up at him, breathless and smiling. There was rain glistening in her hair and on her skin. She was beautiful.

He swallowed hard and bit the inside of his cheek to try and still the feelings that were beginning to stir.

"Are you alright?" he asked and Bella nodded.

"Just wet."

She turned a little and her head brushed against his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath while his body went on point.

Bella's jacket was open and he could see her shirt clinging to her chest. He swallowed again, looked away across the street and began tallying baseball scores from the last season.

The electricity between them was powerful. Edward knew Bella could feel it too. Her heart was pounding and it wasn't just from the running.

Cars drove past, sending sprays of water across the footpath and Edward pulled her further under the awning, closer against him.

"Is this okay?" he asked, but before Bella could answer he was distracted by thoughts coming from the car that had stopped in front of them. It's back seat was full of boxes and it seemed the driver recognised Bella.

The passenger window rolled down.

"Hey, Bella?"

She shifted slightly and Edward was watching keenly for her reaction. The boy's thoughts told Edward little, except that he was wondering who the hell Bella was with.

"Richard, um, hi." Bella smiled and took a hesitant step towards the car, not quite leaving the shelter of the awning, or Edward, but close enough to have a shouted conversation over the sound of the rain. She pointed at the boxes in the back seat. "You finally cleared your stuff out of your parents' garage?"

Richard laughed and nodded. "Thought it was about time. Listen, I've just been to your place, but you weren't there. I thought you might be at Mandy's." Richard was talking to Bella but looking at Edward now.

"No. I was here. Well, at the park. Oh, um, Richard, this is Edward."

Richard gave a vague nod of acknowledgement which Edward returned just as vaguely. Neither of them smiled or spoke.

"Is your phone off?" Richard turned his attention back to Bella. "I tried calling too."

"Yeah, it's off. What's up?"

Edward analysed Richard's every thought and every gesture. He wasn't a danger, he bore no threat to Bella, that was clear, but he did want to be more than friends. And that made him a threat to Edward.

Richard was shifting closer to the passenger window now.

"I just wanted you to know I managed to get the tickets for the concert next Saturday."

"Oh...that's great."

"So you can still come?" His eyes slid to Edward.

Without realising it Edward had pulled himself to his full height. He towered over Bella now in what was clearly a possessive and protective stance - and it was not lost on Richard.

Bella pulled a hand through her hair, her fingers tangling in the wet strands.

"Erm, I guess, yeah, I can still come."

"Good. We can get dinner first." Richard allowed himself a smug smile. Edward allowed himself fantasies of breaking Richard's neck.

The rain beat down heavier.

"Do you want a lift?" Richard had to shout louder. "I can go back that way, it's no problem." He thumbed over his shoulder, in the direction of Bella's street.

"No, that's okay, thanks." Bella yelled back, but as she spoke she began to shiver. Edward realised that her skin had begun to rise in goose bumps.

"You sure?" Richard frowned. "It would only take a minute. Better than standing out in the rain like this." _Like this loser is letting you do._

Now Edward didn't want to just break Richard's neck. No, _now_ he wanted to snap him in half. But he could feel Bella's body temperature dropping every second and her close proximity to _his_ icy body wasn't helping, he knew that.

Edward _hated_ what he was about to do.

"You should take the lift, Bella. There's no point being out in the rain if you don't have to be. And you could get sick."

She looked up at him and he couldn't quite make out the expression in her eyes.

"What about you?" She looked back at Richard who smiled slyly and addressed Edward.

"Hey, man, if you can fit in the back with all my junk, you're welcome."

It was obvious Edward wouldn't fit in the back.

"Thanks, but I'll be fine."

Edward gave Richard a thin smile and a watered-down vampire stare. He didn't want to startle Bella's friend too much. Not yet, anyway.

Richard bristled slightly and Bella turned back to Edward.

"I don't..."

"It's okay," he said quickly. "I'll run home. You wouldn't be able to keep up anyway." He smiled and after a moment Bella gave a hesitant smile back.

Then she shivered again and Edward immediately stepped into the rain and pulled open the car door. Bella tightened her sodden jacket around her and hurried across the footpath. She squelched into the vinyl seat.

"I had a great time," she smiled at Edward. "Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." And it really had been his very great pleasure.

Richard revved the engine. Edward closed the door. Bella waved through the glass and Edward raised his hand.

And then she was gone.

Edward's precious bubble had burst.

It had been so easy while they'd been together in the park, skimming stones and talking about books and music. But now as the car drove around the corner Edward balled his hands in his pockets. He put his head down and began to walk.

He wouldn't have to worry about how to say 'goodnight' now. He felt foolish. And angry.

Bella had a real life. And it had just been shoved in Edward's face.

She had friends.

She had a job.

She went to concerts. And dinners.

And he had no part in that life, though for a while it had been so easy to believe he _could._

He thought back over every moment of the last three hours; her caress when he spoke about his parents, her laughter when they ran through the rain, the look on her face when he told her she should take the lift home.

Edward sighed. He checked his phone for messages from Alice but there was nothing. He felt down. Very down. But he was not out.

Not yet.

He had a connection with Bella and he was sure she felt it too.

He was still in with a chance.

Edward didn't go straight home. There was no point - his house was empty and he didn't want to see Richard's car parked outside Bella's.

So he took the long way around, not noticing how the water ran down inside his collar or how his shoes had filled and squelched with every step.

By the time he turned into his street the skies had dried and he was relieved to see only Bella's car at the front of her building.

Edward looked up at her window where the light was on. He strained his ears, listening for sounds of her moving about. Suddenly her window opened. And there she was.

"Edward!" There was relief in her cry and then she disappeared. Edward blinked, confused, but he crossed the road as the front door flew open and Bella waved him up the steps and into the entry hall.

"You okay?" Her eyes scanned him as he made puddles over the tiles.

"I'm fine. Just wet." He hadn't thought he'd see her again so soon, so his smile was stretching across his lips.

She was dry now, of course, and dressed in soft sweats, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked and smelled wonderful. She had a plastic bag in her hand which she held out.

"I thought if you don't have furniture then you probably don't have blankets or towels either." She pulled out a purple cashmere blanket and draped it around his shoulders. "I don't want you to get sick either."

Edward didn't know what to do, he was so moved by Bella's thoughts for him, and her actions. His hands shook as he took the bag, and he just stood there, with no words.

Bella seemed to hesitate, then she slowly reached up and pushed the wet hair out of his face. Her thumb wiped some rain drops off the skin beneath his eyes. Her heart was racing. Edward shivered but it wasn't from the cold.

"You'd better go and get dry," she murmured.

But Edward hadn't said 'goodnight' yet.

A smile of incredible tenderness curved his lips. A curl of hair had escaped Bella's ponytail and he reached up slowly and tucked it carefully behind her ear. His fingers grazed over her cheekbone as his hand came back down, caressing her skin so gently. His fingers trembled just a little.

Bella's eyes closed and it felt to Edward that she was leaning into his touch. Her soft gasp filled the space where they stood. Her blush roared over her skin.

Edward inhaled slowly. "Goodnight," he whispered.

He returned his hand to his side as Bella's eyes fluttered open. Her eyes were so warm, so deep, and now they burned with something new. Edward felt his body tighten. He didn't know if he'd be able to tear himself away. But he also knew he couldn't just stand there forever.

With a last smile he turned slowly and began to head down the steps, clutching the bag she'd given him.

"Thank you for the blanket." He looked up at her from the pavement as he shrugged it closer around his shoulders. "Thank you very much."

Bella's smile was shy. Very shy. She was still blushing as she closed the door.

Edward's heart was full, absolutely brimming, as he crossed the road and let himself into his house.

He went upstairs to his bedroom and stripped off his wet clothes. He dried himself with one of the towels and pulled on some sweat pants. Then he put his music on and wrapped the purple blanket around him. It smelt of Bella and for Edward it was almost as if _she_ was wrapped around him. He laid down on the floor and closed his eyes. As the sounds of Debussey surrounded him, and Bella's scent filled him, Edward decided he _could _still try to find a place in her life.

He breathed in deeply, tucked the blanket closer, and wondered if he already had.

**A/N: Another chapter or two to go. Thanks for reading :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**So sorry this took so long. It took me a long while before I was happy with it and even now, well, I'm not sure.**

**Big, enormous thank you's to:**

**Melanie for betaing :)**

**ltlerthqak for Chicago info (in upcoming chapters)**

**icrodriguez - you know why :)**

**And huge thanks Jadalulu for recommending this story in her author notes :) Her story, Fold Your Wings, is a beautifully crafted piece of writing.**

**Now, lets see what's happening...**

Edward stayed the whole night cocooned in cashmere, his face dipped deep in the soft folds as he immersed himself in Bella and the memories of their afternoon together.

He relived every moment of their walk...and every second of later on, when he'd stood, dripping wet, in the entry hall of her building.

His fingers tangled in the soft fringe of the blanket as he remembered the way Bella so carefully wrapped it around his shoulders - her cherished touch, the warmth in her eyes.

It had been the most intimate moment of Edward's life.

He burrowed deeper into the blanket and he had never felt so warm.

And as night faded into pale, pearly daylight, Edward realised that he wasn't just hopeful about where things were going with Bella...

...he was _optimistic._

-0-

It was Saturday. Bella would be working.

And Edward's furniture order had arrived, two days ahead of schedule. A mistake on a consignment note was to blame.

So, in Bella's absence Edward busied himself with assembling shelves and entertainment units and a bed.

He installed the flatscreen TV and wired in the Bang and Olufsen sound system.

He arranged the L-shaped leather sofa, the armchair and coffee table. And then, when he was done, he stood back and looked around.

It wasn't your typical student accommodation. There was no mix of mis-matched second hand tables and chairs and makeshift shelves.

No, this room was elegant and understated. The modern furniture contrasted well with the original features like the open fireplace and the ornate cornices and architraves.

Edward wondered what Bella would think when she saw it. Because he hoped that one day she would.

And then his thoughts wandered, and turned to his parents and what they would think if they could see the house now...if they could see _him_. But the thought troubled him and he pushed it away quickly.

He distracted himself by picking up the four stools and carrying them into the kitchen.

As he set them down either side of the counter his phone vibrated in his pocket. He assumed it was Alice and was surprised when it was Rosalie.

"Rose?"

"Do we have to go through this all over again, Edward?"

Her voice came slicing through the line and Edward felt like he'd just been doused with ice cold water.

He grimaced and braced himself for the onslaught. Rosalie had obviously been in contact with the family.

"It's good to talk to you too, Rose. How's the honeymoon?" He pulled out a stool and sat down. He was determined that she wasn't going to ruin his good mood.

"I didn't call to chat, Edward, just tell me what's going on."

"What do you want to know?" As if he had to ask.

"You know what! Are you planning to do something _really_ stupid this time? Are you seriously going to tell this girl..."

"_Bella_." Edward bristled.

"Are you seriously going to tell _Bella_ what you are? What _we _are? I thought we'd been through all this before..." She began to mimic his voice. "_I have to leave, I can't be near her, I'm too dangerous, I'm a monster..._but what - it's okay now? You've changed your mind and it's all okay? How can you even _contemplate_ this, Edward? What if it ends badly? It's not just _you _that will be implicated, you know. I can't _believe _we have to go through all this _again!_" Her words were machine gun fire and her tone was acid.

Edward gritted his teeth. Inside him a slow ire was beginning to burn, but he held his tongue. He knew Rosalie's concerns were justified even if her manner wasn't. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out, slowly.

"Why can't you just be happy for me, Rose?"

"Be happy about _what, _exactly? That you're probably going to expose us all? That we'll have to pack up and move _again_ because of _you_?"

Her voice was becoming more shrill and Edward moved the phone away from his ear and set it down on the counter. He would still hear her and she would still hear him. Then he slumped forward wearily and let his cheek rest against the cool surface. He just wanted this conversation to end.

But Rosalie didn't.

"Seriously, Edward, do you have _any _idea what this could do to us? Any idea at all?"

He began grinding his teeth. "No-one else is worried."

"They're just too scared to say anything in case _precious Edward_ has a another tantrum and runs off to a cave again for six months!"

Edward winced. He took another slow, patient breath, wondering how he could make her understand.

"Rosalie..."

But she cut him off.

"And you_ know_ we rely on your gift. Did you ever think how vulnerable the family was while you were gone before? Or how vulnerable they are _right now_ while you're in Chicago doing goodness knows what? Playing house?"

His fists clenched on his knees. His patience was stretching thin..

"Rose, just listen..."

"NO! _You_ listen to _me_, Edward, because unlike you I _actually care_ about this family, and if you're too _selfish_..."

"DON'T TELL ME I DON'T CARE!"

Edward slammed his hand down, hard, on the marble. He shoved away from the counter, sending the stool crashing across the floor as he snatched up the phone and snarled down the line. "And_ don't_ _ever _tell me I'm selfish!"

He stalked around the room, his free hand fisted in his hair as his anger finally let fly.

"I have done _everything_ this family has ever asked of me!I have packed up and moved again and again at Carlisle's nod, because someone has slipped up..._your husband included_! And I did it for _you too_, back in Rochester, but only after I'd helped you clean up your mess _first_! Do you remember, Rosalie?"

Edward heard her shocked gasp. He knew he'd just struck a low blow but right now he didn't care.

And he hadn't finished yet.

"I took myself away for months when you and Emmett were first married, just to give you_ privacy!_ And you didn't seem to mind the absence of my gift _then_, did you? So forgive me if I had hoped for some sort of understanding in return!"

His chest was heaving with anger. His voice came through clenched teeth.

"I've been alone for almost _a hundred years_... think about _that_, Rosalie. _Think _about it! And now I have this one chance for happiness..._one_... and you would _begrudge_ me that?"

"Edward..."

"So, don't think I'm going to turn my back on this, _because I'm not!_"

There was silence now.

Long and heavy.

Edward tried to rein in his anger.

And his hurt.

His fingers were clenched around the phone. The plastic case began to creak.

He closed his eyes and forced his sharp angry breaths to slow.

Finally, Rosalie spoke, stumbling uncharacteristically over her words.

"I just...I shouldn't have...I'm sorry, Edward."

Her apology surprised him, the soft waver in her voice even more so. It took some time, but slowly, Edward's anger began to fade. He was standing by the back door now and he dropped his head into his hand and sighed heavily.

"Can you just..._trust me,_ Rose? Please?" His voice was so weary now. "I'm not going to endanger the family. I won't tell Bella anything about us until I'm sure where this is going. And nothing will _end badly,_" he added. "I won't hurt her."

"But what if she hurts _you_?"

Edward hadn't expected that. And he didn't know what to say. When he didn't respond Rosalie continued, her voice even smaller now. "I know what it will do to you if this doesn't work out."

"Is that what you're worried about, Rose?" he whispered, incredulous. "_Me?_"

Her silence told him everything and Edward let out a long breath.

He tried to gather his thoughts now as he picked up the discarded stool, set it back by the counter, and sat down.

"I know this might not work." He spoke slowly, his voice gentler now. " But I have to try, Rose."

His sister's sigh was rough. "I don't think any of us could watch you go through that again, Edward." There was the briefest hesitation. "I don't think _I _could watch you."

This was the trouble with Rosalie. Deep down she cared; she was loving and fiercely protective, but it was almost always hidden behind snark and cynicism. And in a phone call, where he couldn't get a handle on the thoughts behind her vitriol, Edward was lost.

He wondered how he could make her understand.

"What about when you found Emmett?"

"That was different. He was dying."

"But if you had just wanted to end his suffering you could have snapped his neck right there in the woods."

Rosalie made no response. In her silence Edward could hear realisation starting to dawn. "But you carried him for more than a hundred miles while he _bled in your arms_, and you begged Carlisle to save him. You must have seen something in him that gave you the strength to do what you did. You saw something that made you want to _try_."

"Yes, alright!" she snapped and her sudden outburst was followed by a heavy sigh. "I just thought he might break the monotony after two years of _your_ company, that's all."

Now she was back to the snarky form Edward was used to. He gave a soft, weary laugh and heard the same from her end.

"I'm sorry about before," he said. "I didn't mean..."

"No, it was me. I was completely out of line." She cut him off quickly and Edward knew that subject was closed.

"So, how _is _the honeymoon? _Maid of the Mist_ still running?" he joked. This wasn't the first honeymoon she and Emmett had started with Niagara Falls. Edward could hear her smile when she answered.

"You know it is. I'll bring you back a souvenir magnet if you like. You can stick it on your new fridge." Edward snorted and Rosalie laughed as the air cleared between them. "And if you're going to do this thing, make sure you get some food in the cupboards. Humans need to eat."

Edward smiled down at the counter top.

"Thanks, Rose."

They talked about little things then - the new Porsche she had seen in the parking lot at the Falls and the classic 1966 motor bike he'd followed for a while on his way back from Vermont.

Vehicles were always common ground for Rosalie and Edward.

When the call ended Edward set his phone back on the counter. He reached out and gave it a sharp flick with his middle finger and sent it spinning across the counter, stopping exactly and precisely on the opposite edge.

Edward stared at it, thinking, for a long time.

Despite ending on friendly terms, Rosalie's words had unsettled and disturbed him - as they had no doubt been meant to do.

Now there was a too-familiar, nagging voice at the back of his mind, trying to pull him back to where he used to be.

Back into the darkness of doubt and self-loathing.

Thoughts ricocheted in his head, tormenting him. He began to question himself, and wondered if Rose had been right.

He knew he was right to try, but did he really think this was going to work? Did he really think Bella would want someone _like him_?

He thought she liked him, but what if he'd got it all wrong?

He slumped forward onto the counter again, dropping his head onto folded arms.

What if she ran away, screaming? He would be left, empty and alone, living on the memory of a walk in the park. And a purple blanket.

A purple blanket.

And suddenly that memory of the night before was shining like a beacon, leading him out of the dark.

It banished the doubt. It cast out the self-loathing.

The nagging voice was wrong.

And Edward had the memory of the look in Bella's eyes to prove it.

So he squared his shoulders, grabbed his phone and his car keys, and went to buy groceries.

-0-

Edward was unloading his shopping from the car when Bella arrived home.

He smiled broadly as he watched her pull up, but as he strode across the road to greet her his smile faltered a little.

Seeing her now, for the first time since last night, he felt..._shy?_

Edward's new confidence began to shake.

But when Bella looked up and saw him her face broke into a brilliant smile that would have stopped his heart, if it had been beating.

And then Edward was beaming. His body relaxed, he thought his knees might collapse, and suddenly he was grinning like an idiot.

Bella had completely disarmed him. And he was at her mercy - perfectly, totally, utterly.

He ran his hands into his hair as he stopped in front of her, locking his fingers in place on top of his head. He wished he had something interesting or clever to say.

What he managed was _hi._

"Good timing," he added and Bella smiled back.

"You've been shopping?" She glanced at the bags sitting on the pavement opposite.

"Oh, um, yeah. Groceries."

Just like yesterday, Edward could feel himself falling, hard and heavy, all over again. He wondered if it would always be like this.

"How are you feeling?" Bella asked suddenly, bringing him back. "You didn't get sick from the rain yesterday?"

"No," he answered quickly. "No, I'm good. Thank you."

He unlocked his fingers and brought his hands down to shove in his pockets. He leant casually against Bella's car and she did the same.

Now Edward settled easily into conversation.

"How was work?"

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Really busy. It felt like it went on forever. And then I stopped by my friend's baseball game on the way home."

"Do you like basbeall?"

"Not really. But I'd promised I'd go. Mandy's team doesn't play well..." Bella grimaced a little. "So I go sometimes and, you know, offer support."

"Go team," Edward grinned.

"Yeah, something like that."

"Did they win?"

"No."

"Oh, too bad."

Bella shrugged. "I think they're used to it. Do you play baseball?"

"I do. But not for a while."

Bella nodded. "But you like sports?"

"Some. I run quite often. Is there anything you _do _play?"

"No. Sports and me..." Bella wrinkled her nose and shook her head. "I always end up hurting myself, or someone else. Or I do something horribly embarrassing."

Edward chuckled.

"You make it sound so traumatic."

"Oh, believe me, it is." She waved a hand to emphasise her point. "It started back when I was thirteen and it's been downhill ever since."

Now Edward was intrigued.

"What happened when you were thirteen?"

She sighed. "Promise you won't laugh?"

Edward held up two fingers in a boy scout salute.

"Okay. They put me on the school softball team. My very first game and I kept dropping the ball and then I slid into second base too hard and I knocked Lisa Schuster over and... and, um, .I split my pants so everyone could see my underwear." She shook her head. "They had bumble bees on them and the kids called me bumble-butt for _weeks_ afterwards."

As soon as she'd said it, Bella's eyes widened as a look of horror crossed her face. Her hand flew to her mouth.

"I do not believe I just told you that last part," she gasped and then buried her head in her hands when Edward bit his lip against a smile. "Don't laugh! You promised!"

"I'm not!" he said.

But he was. Just a little bit. They both were. Bella's shoulders were shaking as she shook her head, but her face was still buried in her hands.

But Edward didn't want her to feel self-conscious.

Gently, he tugged her hands away from her face. Her cheeks were crimson.

"Don't be embarrassed," he whispered, and dropped his knees so they were eye to eye.

He quickly searched his human past, struggling to grasp the memory that he knew was there.

"When I was fifteen I was playing baseball," he began. Bella lifted her eyes, fascinated, as she listened carefully. "And I really threw myself into the game..._literally_. I'd hit a home run, and I went tearing around the bases, and I slid into home, hard. I was so excited, and I jumped up, but I couldn't work out why everyone was laughing instead of cheering."

"Oh no..." Bella bit her lip. Apparently she could see where this was going.

"And then I felt the breeze," Edward went on, still holding her hands. "And the sting of the gravel rash."

She choked back a giggle and Edward smiled.

"I'd torn right through the backside of my baseball pants. And believe me, at that moment, I would have _welcomed_ bumble-bee underwear."

Bella was laughing out loud now and so was Edward.

Reluctantly, he let go of her hands and pushed his hair out of his eyes where it had flopped.

"Did you get teased after that?" Bella asked through her giggles.

"I did."

"What did they say?"

He leant down and whispered in her ear.

"I'll never tell."

She laughed all over again and it warmed Edward, inside and out. He had made her laugh. He was entranced as he watched her hair bounce over her shoulders, and her eyes crinkle with amusement.

"Maybe we should change the subject," she said breathlessly. "Enough embarrassing stories. Tell me what you did today."

"My furniture arrived."

Edward leant back against the car again, marvelling at how he'd just shared one of the most embarrassing moments of his existence and yet he'd never felt so comfortable.

He would have rather died before he'd retold that story to anyone else.

"How does it look?" Bella was asking.

"Hm?"

"The furniture?"

"Oh, er, good...I think."

He cocked his head and wondered if it was too soon to ask Bella into his house.

A second later he was smiling and offering his hand.

"Come and see?"

-0-

Edward was experiencing a surreal moment.

A week ago he had arrived in Chicago to do a cursory landlord's inspection of his property.

By Monday morning he would have been back in Vermont, sitting in his physics lecture, drawing the beautiful eyes of a girl he loved so deeply it hurt. And who he never anticipated seeing again.

But somehow now, a week later, he was still in Chicago and that girl with the eyes was in his kitchen, sitting across the counter from him, sipping a coke he had poured for her while she told him about her day and he put away the groceries.

Surreal.

He had already given her a tour of the house, and he had been excited and anxious for her to like it.

And she did like it.

They'd looked through every room, upstairs and down.

He'd even stood back shyly and opened his bedroom door for her to see inside. And suddenly her being there had felt terribly intimate.

His duffle bag had lain sprawled and open in the corner, clothes and books tumbling haphazardly onto the floor, giving her a peek into his life.

And her purple blanket was folded neatly across the foot of the large, dark timber bed with its quilt of black and cream.

Edward had moved forward, a little self-consciously, to pick it up and hold it out.

"Here, you should probably..."

"Oh, um, okay."

"Thank you for the loan."

"Did it keep you warm?"

"Very warm. Thank you."

A soft silence had fallen and Edward had watched the way Bella hugged the blanket to her chest.

He had wondered if he would ever get to be there...hugged tight against Bella's chest.

He wanted to be.

And then a second later he was quickly pointing out the ornate ceiling cornices, the elaborately carved newel post and offering her something to drink as he smoothly escorted her downstairs.

Now she took a sip of her coke as Edward put away the last of the tins and pulled up a stool opposite her.

"It sounds like you enjoy your work," he said.

"Mostly I do. It's hard sometimes though."

"How?"

She considered a moment. "Sometimes it's just...very sad."

Then she shook herself and smiled.

"But Mr McInerney is always good for a laugh. No matter what's going on. He's ninety six and says whatever he thinks, good or bad. It's actually kind of refreshing."

Edward smiled too. "Refreshing until you end up alienating everyone you know," he said.

Bella laughed. "I think at ninety six he doesn't care who he alienates."

She began drawing invisible patterns on the marble counter top.

"Sometimes, though," she said quietly. "I think it would be refreshing to just say what you thought."

Edward leant forward,

"What would you say?"

Bella lifted her gaze and looked at him. Her eyes were deep, he couldn't fathom the mysteries there.

He waited.

Then, to his disappointment, she just shrugged.

And she shifted uncomfortably on her seat.

"Maybe another day you'll share a secret with me," he winked and Bella gave a soft gasp. Then she smiled.

"Only if you share one of yours."

Her words caught him off guard, but he recovered quickly.

"Sounds like a deal," he said casually.

Bella tilted her head, eyeing Edward speculatively.

"What?"

"I'm trying to imagine what one of your secrets might be."

Now Edward shifted uncomfortably on his seat.

"All in good time," he smiled and changed the subject. "Do you want to listen to some music? I've wired in the new sound system?"

So they moved into the living room.

Edward had brought some favourite cd's with him from Vermont, and he'd ordered some others on line with his furniture, so while he perused his shelves looking for something suitable, Bella stood admiring the fireplace.

"This is great," she said. "They've bricked up the one in my apartment." She ran her hands gently over the mahogany mantle as Edward selected a disc and put it on.

"Claire de Lune?"

Edward nodded. "You said yesterday that you liked it."

"I do."

They shared another smile and then Bella's gaze shifted to the hearth.

"These look original." She crouched down and gingerly touched the elaborate mosaic tiles.

"They are original." Edward walked across the room and crouched down opposite her. "The house was built in 1884."

"Wow."

"See this one?" He pointed to a large, glossy blue tile in the back row and his words came eagerly. "It's been fixed now, but it used to be loose. You could press the corner and lift it up. There was a little hollow underneath and when I was very young I used to hide things in there."

Now Edward felt a little overwhelmed, having Bella here, talking like this, offering her more of himself to her. More of his history, more of Edward Masen.

"What did you hide?" She spoke in a conspiratorial whisper that made Edward smile.

"Stupid things, really. But they seemed special at the time. A marble, a piece of coloured glass...shiny pebbles." He shrugged and Bella grinned.

"I would have loved something like this when I was a kid," she shared. "I just had a shoe box under my bed to hide my treasures."

This small piece of information thrilled Edward, though he couldn't understand why. Was it because he'd also had a treasures box under his bed?

"Oh, I had one of those too," he smiled. "But I guess the loose tile seemed a bit more exotic and mysterious - probably because no-one ever knew about it except me. But my mom knew all about the box under my bed."

Bella laughed again.

"My mom knew too. She used to _add _things to it for me! Things she thought I'd like."

Edward's eyebrows shot up.

"No!" he laughed.

"Yes!" She shook her head at the memory. "She really didn't grasp the idea of a _secret_ treasure box."

"So, what was in yours?" Edward whispered now.

"Sea shells, a couple of feathers, and, um, some shiny pebbles," she whispered back.

Edward could hear Bella's heart beating faster. Unconsciously they had both leaned in, closer to each other. Edward was almost close enough to kiss her.

He wanted to.

But before he could think any more about it Bella spoke.

"You liked living here," she said, more to herself than him it seemed. She stood and Edward followed. "How old were you when ..."

Edward stiffened slightly as he anticipated the rest of her question. Bella noticed and cut herself off immediately.

"I'm so sorry ..."

"No, it's alright." He was unsure what to say next, because he didn't want to lie to her. He swallowed. "It's not that I don't...I'd like to tell you about..._me_, but..."

"It's okay, I shouldn't have brought it up. And what I said before about secrets, I was just joking around, I don't expect..."

"I know," he said quickly. "Then he cocked his head as he tried to figure out what to say. "If I said..._one day_?"

"Only if you want to."

"I do want to...just..."

"Not now," Bella smiled and she reached out to touch his hand. Just a simple, gentle caress, like she'd done the day before in the park. "One day is fine."

Then she changed the subject.

"I'd better go," she said. "I have an assignment that needs attention."

"Oh...sure." Edward pulled his hand through his hair as Bella moved to the door, picked up her bag and fished out her keys. This seemed to be happening too fast, she'd be gone in a moment and no more plans had been made. He tried to gather his thoughts.

"Bella..."

"Edward..."

They both stopped, then grinned.

"Ladies first." With a graceful sweep of his hand Edward motioned for Bella to continue.

She adjusted her bag over her shoulder and fiddled with her keys while he waited for her to begin.

"Um...I'm supposed to be going to see a movie tonight with some friends. That new spy film?"

Edward nodded. He didn't realise it, but now he was holding his breath.

"And if you're not busy...I thought, maybe you'd like to come. With me."

He watched her throat as she swallowed nervously and he tried to get his head around the fact that Bella had just asked _him_ out.

"I'd like that," he said softly and Bella's face lit up.

"Great," she beamed. And suddenly she didn't know what to do with her hands. She tucked her hair behind her ears. Twice.

"Okay, um, well, the movie starts at seven thirty, so..."

She dropped her keys. Swiftly, Edward's hand shot out and caught them, mid-fall.

"I'll pick you up at seven," he said as he set them back in the palm of her hand. Her eyes were wide.

"Fast reflexes," she murmured.

"Is seven alright?" Edward tried to bring her back on track, cursing himself for his slip-up.

"Um, seven's good." Bella answered.

She turned to the door and Edward opened it for her. She moved onto the top step and Edward was smiling and internally high-fiving himself, but then she stilled.

"Um, Edward..."

Her face was serious now.

Edward stopped with the high-fives.

"Yes?"

Bella took a deep breath. She fixed her eyes on him and though her cheeks were crimson she spoke with a confidence that Edward hadn't heard from her before.

"Yesterday, when you met Richard, he talked about a concert next Saturday..."

Edward remembered only too well. He wondered where on earth this was going. He was holding his breath again. "Well, it's actually a group of us going. It's a benefit for the hospital where his mom works and we're going along as a favour."

"Oh. I see."

There had been none of that in Richard's thoughts. But that was probably because Richard was too busy wondering who the hell Edward was.

"I just thought...he might have made it sound like it was something else." Her gaze didn't waver. "I just wanted you to know it_ isn't_ something else. He's not my boyfriend. He never has been."

Edward felt like all the air had been knocked out of him. He understood what Bella was telling him, and he understood _why._

And it was the _why_ that counted.

He didn't think he could trust himself to speak. So he just smiled, and Bella smiled back.

"See you at seven," she said again and Edward watched her square her shoulders as she walked across the road to her building.

It was then that it hit him...

Despite her blushes and shyness, Isabella Swan wasn't seventeen any more.

-0-

Edward whistled as he got ready for his date with Bella.

It didn't matter that there would be others joining them at the movies, the important thing was Bella had invited him out. And that she wanted him to meet her friends.

That was significant, he thought...meeting the friends.

And now that he thought more about it, he was a little nervous.

Bella was unique, she seemed to lack the normal human instinct to shy away from him, and he couldn't describe the joy he felt at that.

But what about her friends?

Would they feel wary and uneasy around him?

It could make for an awkward evening.

He decided he would call Alice and ask if she could _see _anything about tonight. He even had his hand on his phone to call, but as his thumb hovered over the _call _button, he stopped himself.

"No," he whispered.

He would do this himself.

Without the benefit of Bella's thoughts, or Alice's visions close at hand, Edward knew he was truly on his own.

His actions and decisions were all his.

And he decided he liked it that way.

He started whistling again and his phone beeped.

A text from Alice.

He opened it and grinned when he saw the smiley face staring up at him.

-0-

Edward opened the passenger door of his car and helped Bella into the leather seat. As Edward took his own Bella asked what had happened to his Volvo.

Edward almost crunched the gears.

"You remember my car?" He knew he sounded incredulous and was staring at her rudely. Bella was clearly taken aback.

"Um, yes?"

Edward shook his head. "I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I just…I'm surprised you remember that."

She'd seen him in the school parking lot _once, _two years before, when she'd been concentrating so hard on reversing her own vehicle out of the lot…and yet she remembered _his_?

"I guess it's like you remembering that I don't like the cold." She smiled softly and Edward smiled back.

"I guess."

She turned to the front and settled into the seat.

"So what's this one?"

"A Saab."

"And the Volvo?"

He shrugged. "It was time for a change."

"But it looked new."

Edward added _observant_ to the list of Bella's qualities.

"I, er, generally change cars every couple of years." He wondered if this made him sound pretentious. He hoped not.

"What about your truck?" he asked.

Bella giggled. "You remember my truck?"

"Who could forget that thing," he smirked and Bella nodded.

"You probably have a point there. It was pretty distinctive."

He waited but she didn't say anything more.

"So?" he prompted. "What happened?"

Edward felt the mood in the car shift. It was slight, but suddenly Bella seemed so far away from him, though she hadn't moved an inch.

She began biting on her thumb nail. "It was wrecked in an accident."

Edward's stomach clenched.

"How? Were you hurt?"

"No, not really." She seemed distracted and Edward wasn't sure if he should probe. His hands were tightening around the steering wheel. What did _not really,_ mean?

"What happened?" His voice was tight.

Then Bella blew out a long breath.

"It was just after you left. The day after, actually. I was standing at the back of my truck in the school parking lot and I was watching the entrance." As she said this her skin coloured a deep pink and she looked out the window. Edward wondered why.

"Anyway, Tyler Crowley's van came through the gates and there was ice on the blacktop and he lost control." She shrugged and looked back at the road now. "I saw it coming and I sort of froze, and everything went into slow motion…like in a movie. The van was coming right for me and it took a while for my brain to actually register what was happening and tell my body to get out of the way. But finally the message got through, and I started to run but I fell on the first step. I scratched my hand on the truck's tail light."

"And the van?"

"It smashed into the truck, but it _just_ missed me." She held up her thumb and forefinger, indicating a hair's breadth. "I think it was only because I'd been watching the entrance and saw Tyler arrive. If I'd been looking across the lot…I don't know, things might have gone differently."

Her body tensed and she hugged herself now. Without thinking Edward held out his hand, palm up, and Bella immediately took hold. Her body relaxed and Edward could feel her warmth flow through him. He gave her hand a squeeze.  
Edward thought he knew now where her _seize the day_ attitude had come from.

"You never know what's going to happen," he murmured, looking at her. Bella stared into his eyes.

"No," she whispered back. "You don't."

-0-

The movie was sold out.

Bella and Edward stood, very close together, in the lobby of the theatre while her friends discussed what to do next.

So far, meeting the friends had gone well. Edward had shaken hands and smiled politely and Bella twined her fingers with his, seemingly sensing his nervousness even though he hid it beneath a well-practiced veneer of cool.

There were the usual speculations - questioning thoughts about Edward's eyes, his unnatural good looks, the coldness of his skin, the way there was _something_ about him that you couldn't put your finger on, but the general consensus seemed to be that any friend of Bella's was a friend of theirs.

And _they _were an interesting bunch.

Mandy and Tom were nice, Edward decided. And they were very much in love with each other.

Nicola was serious and cynical, rolled her eyes a lot and found fault with everything. Except Edward's ass, it seemed. Her thoughts, and eyes, strayed in that direction more than once, but it was with more of a cool appreciation of his form than the usual fantasies he was so familiar with. But her negativity was such that Edward wondered how she had any friends at all.

Charlotte was quiet and gentle. She was someone who could be passed over easily, but her thoughts showed Edward she also had a brilliant mind. And she was observant. Nothing got past her. Except the fact that Rex was in love with her. Which was a shame, because she loved him too.

Rex had come with a warning.

Edward had been surprised when Bella pulled him into a whispered conversation by the popcorn stand.

"Rex is here. Whatever you do, don't stare."

"Why would I stare?"

"He's here, quick, just don't stare."

A second later Edward was staring.

And a second after that he was glad of Bella's warning because he knew his first, on-sight instinct would have been to plant himself firmly in front of Bella, drop into a fighting crouch and growl.

Rex was as big as Emmett, with a Mohawk and a tattoo of a bloodied dagger on one side of his neck and a skull on the other. A chain linked the ring in his lip with the one in his ear. His physical appearance screamed danger, and heads turned and people scattered as he walked through the lobbey.

But a quick look at Rex's thoughts set Edward straight.

Rex was the classic gentle giant. And his pure, desperate love for Charlotte was almost painful. It seemed they would tiptoe around each other, both too scared to admit how they felt.

Edward could relate.

Richard, it seemed, had decided not to come.

"So...what are we going to do?" Tom was demanding a decision be made.

There was a suggestion from Nicola to give up and go to a nightclub she knew which wasn't quite as foul as the others that she knew.

Charlotte thought they could just grab pizza and come back for the nine-thirty session.

Tom suggested they could just see something else instead.

Pizza and the nine-thirty session won.

So Edward took Bella's hand as if it was the most natural thing in the world and they left the theatre and walked around the corner to the Supreme-O Pizza Bar.

As he walked Edward wondered how he was going to do this.

Some foods were easier to fake eating than others.

Pizza_ wasn't_ easy.

And he didn't want to raise any suspicions.

He decided he'd have to eat.

Just once slice.

For appearance sake.

He sat opposite Bella at a long table, complete with candles in Chianti bottles, a slice of _classic cheese and tomato_ in front of him. It had been his selection from the menu. It had the least amount of toppings.

As he chewed his first bite he tried to focus on anything else apart from the taste in his mouth.

He watched how Bella interacted with her friends.

The girl he'd met briefly in Forks had walked with her head down. She'd seemed uncomfortable talking with others, she'd hidden behind her long veil of hair.

But now, here, she was bright and laughing. He wouldn't say she was outgoing, he knew she never wanted to be the centre of attention, but there was a quiet confidence about her now that hadn't been there before.

And it was that same quiet confidence that had let her joke with him in his kitchen, then ask him out, and had left him in no doubt about Richard, and her relationship status.

He watched her lovingly as she talked and laughed and licked tomato sauce from her fingers. He smiled at her horror when she mistakenly took a bite of the _anchovy surprise._

Obviously it _was _a surprise and nchovy's clearly weren't her thing.

And every now and then she would look across and give him a smile he hadn't seen her give anyone else.

It was different, and he realised, with a jolt of satisfaction and delight, that it was _his _smile.

Just for him.

He didn't think life could get any better.

Edward knew his adoration was written all over his face - he read as much in the minds of the others at the table.

He wondered if Bella could see it, too.

And he wondered if it was too soon to tell her the truth.

The thought knotted in his stomach.

Was it _all_ too soon?

He had loved her for more than two years, but she'd really only known him for a week.

_Less_ than a week, given he'd only approached her on Wednesday and now it was Saturday.

This was only their second date.

They'd spent only a handful of hours together.

Yet the connection was there, the pull was undeniable, and with a quiet confidence of his own, Edward thought that connection pulled both ways.

He wondered if maybe she had thought of him since that biology lesson more than two years before. From little things she'd said here and there, he was beginning to think she might have.

For the first time he considered the possibility that Bella might have felt the connection back then, too.

The idea was a revelation.

She looked at him again now, and smiled.

"You okay?" she mouthed and he nodded. He stretched out a leg under the table and nudged her foot gently. Her eyes widened a little. And then she nudged back.

"You can't be serious, Charlotte! Congress _has _to pass that bill!"

At the other end of the table Tom and Charlotte were involved in a political debate and Tom was currently in full voice, waving a slice of _Spicy Italian_ to emphasise his point.

Rex offered Charlotte his silent support by resting his arm casually on the back of her chair, and Charlotte shifted back further in her seat, as though leaning into his embrace.

Edward was called on for his opinion, which he politely declined to offer.

Nicola declared herself bored and asked why the conversation always took this direction when they got together.

"I could have just stayed home and cleaned under the sofa cushions," she drawled. "It would have been more fun."

"Why? What's under your sofa cushions?" Bella joked dryly. And Nicola actually cracked a smile.

So did Edward.

The debate quieted as Mandy chastised her boyfriend and then changed the subject.

Rex refilled Charlotte's glass from the water jug and she blushed as she thanked him.

And Bella was struggling with a piece of her _veggie supreme_.

It seemed that stringy cheese could be a problem and he watched, fascinated, as Bella wound a particularly long string around her finger, then sucked it into her mouth.

It suddenly seemed to Edward that the restaurant had become very warm.

When the meal was over, and Edward had insisted on paying for Bella, they headed back to the theatre.

Bella's hand was in Edward's and as the entered the lobby she gave it a tug.

"Actually, I'm kind of tired. Would you mind if we gave the movie a miss?"

"Oh." A small spark of disappointment flared in Edward. He'd rather liked the thought of sitting with her in the movie, holding her hand or even putting his arm around her shoulder. But her comfort would always come first and if she was tired then he would take her home.

They said goodnight to her friends and Edward tucked her arm through his as they walked back to the car.

The journey home was silent. It seemed natural and normal now for them to hold hands and their fingers were linked on the console between them as Edward drove. They moved together each time he changed gears.

He escorted her to her door of course. Her apartment door, not just the main entrance door downstairs. As Bella fumbled with the key in the lock Edward pulled his hand nervously through his hair. His body felt alive and warm.

Bella turned to face him.

"I had a great time," she said.

"Me too. I liked your friends."

"Hope you don't mind too much about the movie."

"I don't mind," Edward smiled.

Bella bit her lip and Edward's body tightened. He took a step closer.

Should he kiss her?

He wanted to.

Very much.

But he was conflicted.

Was it too soon?

Would it be right to kiss her without her knowing what he was? Would that be taking advantage?

He decided it was.

So maybe he could just ...

Edward leant in, just a little.

Bella closed her eyes and tilted her face and Edward pressed his lips, very gently, against her cheek.

So soft, so _warm._

He had never felt anything like this...Bella's skin beneath his lips.

She leant into him, and his lips lifted and pressed again...a second kiss, lower now, closer to the corner of her mouth.

Then he pulled back slowly, nudging her cheek gently with his nose as he exhaled softly.

Bella's eyes fluttered open. They were wide and warm and Edward's body, already strung tight, tightened even more.

His fingers caressed her cheek, lightly, tenderly.

And he wondered what should happen now.

He supposed he should say goodnight. He took a step back in preparation, letting his hand fall by his side - his fingers still holding the heat of her touch.

"Would you like to come in?"

Bella's whispered question threw him, he hadn't been expecting...he wasn't sure...

"Yes," he said. "Yes I would."

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading, and thank you for all the lovely reviews. I'm trying to answer them all but if I've not responded to yours, I'm sorry, but please know I read them all and appreciate each one.**

**I know I said this story was only going to be one more chapter, but it looks like being a couple more now. I'll get chapter four up as soon as I can :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Very sorry this took so long. **

**So let's see...does Edward accept Bella's invitation to come inside?**

Edward took a slow, measured breath and pulled his hand through his hair.

Bella had just invited him into her apartment.

And he had accepted.

Suddenly he felt unsure.

While Bella fumbled with her key in the lock Edward wished desperately that he knew what she was thinking. Her hair shielded her face and he reached out a slow, gentle hand to move it over her shoulder.

At his touch she looked up, eyes wide and unguarded, and if Edward had wished he could read her mind, he didn't need to now. Because it was there in her eyes.

_She felt it too._

Edward's breath stilled in his chest. He lost himself in her gaze as he let this revelation sink in and settle. And find its home in his heart.

_She felt it too._

His fingers trembled as he touched her cheek and she smiled. Her skin coloured, warm and crimson, as her eyes held his.

"I don't usually invite guys home," she said. And despite her blush, her voice held that quiet confidence again. "I don't want you to think…"

"I don't," Edward said quickly. "I don't, Bella."

She smiled again and he stroked his thumb over her cheekbone before slowly dropping his hand.

Then Bella turned and finished unlocking her door. She pushed it wide and stood back so Edward could enter.

"Come in," she said. "This is me."

Her scent was stronger in here, of course - pure and undiluted it saturated the apartment.

Edward steeled himself as Bella closed the door behind him. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets as his throat tightened and ripped into flames. But he didn't waver. He pulled in breath after breath, deep into lungs, letting himself become accustomed, welcoming the familiar burn that only meant _Bella._

Bella had dumped her bag and was fussing with her jacket, getting her hands caught in the sleeves until Edward came behind and held it for her.

"Thank you," she murmured and slid her arms free. She hung the coat on the hook behind the door, tucked her hair behind her ears and looked around.

"It's nothing fancy," she announced.

And Edward took his first, precious peek into Bella's world.

He stood there beside her in quiet disbelief, letting the moment wash over him as he soaked it up.

She'd invited him into her home.

And she clearly had feelings for him.

It was almost too much.

He had never in his wildest dreams expected to be here with her so soon, like this.

Words, coherent thought - all evaded him as he stared at a novelty clock of Garfield the cat on the wall.

"My mom gave it to me," Bella muttered awkwardly, obviously aware of his gaze and suddenly Edward realised he was being rude and should say something.

"It's a great clock," he said quickly and Bella shrugged.

"I prefer Snoopy," she said.

Edward chuckled and began to relax. "Snoopy's good too," he said. "And it's a great apartment. I like it."

And he did.

It was small. The furniture wasn't new but the quality was good and it had been arranged to create a cosy, intimate space. There was a small sofa and a squashy looking armchair with a book lying open, face down, on its wide armrest. Edward could imagine Bella sitting there, curled up, reading.

There was an old coffee table scattered with papers and a laptop. Against the wall by the window was a tall set of bookshelves which were only half full.

There was silence between them again while Edward's eyes devoured everything and Bella's eyes stared at her feet.

She was hugging herself and Edward realised she was feeling self-conscious - he recognised her body language now. So he decided to shift his focus and went to study the prints and photos that hung on her wall.

"These are great," he said as he examined two art-deco style travel posters. He was pleased when he heard the soft sound of Bella untangling her arms. He kept his eyes on the prints as she walked across the room to stand beside him.

"I got those in London," she said. "At a market."

One advertised a journey on the Orient Express and the other a cruise to the Serengeti on a steamer.

"They're not replicas," Edward commented.

"No. They're original but they're in good condition." She gave a sheepish little laugh. "I'm pretty sure they're worth more than the three pounds each I paid for them."

Edward thought she was probably right.

He moved along to a framed pair of large black and white photos of the Eiffel Tower – one in daylight, one by night.

"Did you take these?"

"Uh huh."

"They're very good." He took note of the light and composition. "Have you studied photography?"

"Not properly. My dad gave me a camera for my eighteenth birthday and that kind of got me interested. And Angela showed me a few pointers. Do you remember Angela Webber? She took photos for the school paper." Edward nodded – he remembered Angela. "And then I bought a book on photography. I guess you'd say I'm self-taught."

But she also had a natural talent, Edward decided.

There were other photos – a vineyard in the sun; looking through an ancient stone archway to a modern city skyline in the distance; a small, wooden fishing boat bobbing in a harbour, the sun glinting off the water. Though clearly European, these photos were not the usual cliché collection from the tourist trail.

These pictures showed a different sort of journey.

"Did you take this one too?" Edward pointed to the striking photo of a lighthouse on a lonely-looking rock. Its silver beam streamed into the night while a dark sea raged below. Above it a faint, almost ghostly moon struggled to shine through the cloud.

Bella answered his question with a nod and came to stand beside him.

It looked like a dangerous sort of picture to take and Edward thought about asking how she managed it – had she scrambled over wet rocks in the middle of the night? Alone?

With an almost-shudder he decided he didn't want to know, but he took an unconscious step closer to her.

"It's a very dramatic image," he said. "And powerful. And…lonely?"

Bella cocked her head to her shoulder, considering. "I guess it could seem lonely. But I've never seen it that way."

"What _do_ you see?"  
"I see the light."

Edward looked at her curiously and her cheeks coloured under his gaze. Suddenly her eyes darted past him, wide and horrified.

Muttering _'crap' _under her breath she hurried across the room.

In the corner behind the front door was a rocking chair with a bathrobe thrown haphazardly across its seat. The robe was blue with little yellow ducks on it and Bella scooped it up quickly and dashed into the short hallway that Edward guessed led to her bedroom.

She emerged a second later, tucking her hair nervously behind her ears.

"Um, yeah…you can tell I wasn't expecting anyone," she shrugged.

Edward smiled and she managed a laugh.

"Can I get you anything?" she asked and began moving towards the small galley-style kitchen that spilled off the living area.. "I have tea, hot chocolate, soda…"  
Edward declined. "But I'm happy to keep you company while you have something," he said.

So Bella made a cup of tea while Edward studied her bookshelves.

They were mainly text books, some Shakespeare, a little American poetry – all books she was using for school, he assumed. He snuck a peek at the book on the armchair - _Myths, Tradition and Cultural Anthropology._

On the floor beside the shelves were two boxes, still to be unpacked. He nudged one with his foot and by its weight and resistance he guessed it held more books, perhaps the ones she read for pleasure. He resisted the urge to bend down and take a look.

Maybe next time.

When Bella had her tea in hand they sat together on the sofa.

They angled themselves, each facing the other, arms resting along the back of the sofa. As they talked their fingers inched closer until at last they tangled and Edward delighted in the sound of Bella's heart as it sped up.

Their conversation rambled. He asked about the papers scattered over the coffee table and she told him about the paper she was working on. It was due on Friday and worth half her marks for the semester.

She asked after his family and he told her about Emmett and Rosalie getting married.

"Married? Really? But they're so young."

"They love each other."

Bella considered this but didn't say anything more. Instead she took another sip of tea.

When her phone rang a second later she frowned and scrambled to retrieve it from her bag beside the sofa.

"Rex," she smiled and rolled her eyes as she read the text. "Just making sure I got home okay." She typed a quick response but then her smile faded. "Not that he thinks that I wouldn't be safe with you..." she said quickly, then stopped and bit her lip, obviously not knowing how to continue.

Edward smiled.

"He's just looking out for you," he said. "He's just being a good friend."

Bella nodded. "He is a good friend."

He noticed that she turned the phone off before put it away. She sipped at her tea and another silence fell.

"Still unpacking?" Edward nodded towards the boxes.

"I really should get on to that sometime," Bella frowned. "It's just books, it would probably only take ten minutes."

A smile started on Edward's lips. "How about now?" he said. "I'll help."

They sat on the floor facing each other, the two boxes between them.

"Which one first," Edward asked and he felt like a kid on Christmas morning, and unwrapping more of Bella's story was just about the best present he could think of.

"This one, I think." She tapped the box closest to Edward and he opened the flaps.

For the next ten minutes he sat, happy and content, as he handed each volume to Bella and watched her put them on the shelves. She obviously wanted everything in a certain order and she would spend time rearranging the books already in place to accommodate the new ones.

There were lots of classics, some modern thrillers. He was familiar with most of them and the conversation was easy.

He approved of Steinbeck and Hemmingway, he could forgive her Austen, but the Bronte sisters...really?

"They're just morbid, Bella."

"No they're not, they're just..._intense_."

"Intense?"

She nodded and took _Wuthering Heights_ from his hand.

"Morbid," he muttered under his breath. She turned and scowled at him and he winked at her to show he was teasing now. She gasped and the blush that painted her cheeks was beautiful.

"Have you actually read it?" she challenged, recovering herself.

"I have. It was a miserable experience."

"But it's so full of passion and love."

Edward scoffed loudly. "Love? It's full of wretchedness and pain and the main characters are completely irredeemable."

"No they're not!"

Edward smirked as he leaned over the box. "Bella, have _you_ actually read it?"

She scrunched up her nose at him

"Their love is what redeems them, Edward Don't you get that?"

He sat back and arched a brow as high as he could get it.

"No."

Bella sighed and sat back down on the floor. She talked about Heathcliff's devotion and Cathy's passion and a powerful love that defied the grave.

Edward was not convinced and told Bella so.

"They might love each other, as you say, but it doesn't change the fact that there is nothing _lovable_ about them. Catherine is shallow and impulsive and self-centered. And Heathcliff is cruel, black-hearted and soulless."

Bella's lips pulled tight. "Heathcliff is not soulless."

Edward shrugged. _I know soulless, _he thought, but he listened as Bella continued, talking avidly with her hands as she made her point.

"Heathcliff has a beautiful soul! Look at how he is with Cathy when they're reunited and she's dying. And then look at his reaction to her death! She was everything to him, she was his _life. _You _can't_ say he's black-hearted and soulless. You can't feel love like that without a soul, Edward."

She blew out a breath, picked up the next book and turned back to the shelves.

But Edward was left hanging on her last words.

_You can't feel love like that without a soul._

The possibilities in those words didn't hit Edward hard or fast, they seeped into his consciousness slowly.

They wrapped around him like a blanket.

He felt himself absorbing them, taking them in, making them a part of him ... _you can't feel love like that without a soul_.

"I'll have to read it again," he said quietly and handed Bella another book.

The process went on, the shelves filled, and as Edward watched Bella his thinking began to rearrange.

And he thought new thoughts about his soul.

All his doubt, all his denial, all his arguments, began to seem less and less and less when held up against his love.

With every passing moment he was feeling lighter, and easier, as though an ancient grief was slowly being lifted and moved away. And when he finally accepted the truth of her words, his gasp was so soft Bella never heard it.

Edward spent some more minutes in quiet contemplation and acceptance while he listened to Bella talk about an awkward bookstore customer she had once dealt with.

"Bella?" He interrupted her suddenly. He'd spoken impulsively, not really sure what he was going to say, but wanting to say something. At the last minute he decided thanking her for finding his soul was probably a bit much for right now - he'd save that for another time.

She looked at him expectantly, an old, childhood copy of _Where the Wild Things Are _dangling from her hand.

Edward smiled and shrugged. "I've not had this much fun for a long time."

She gave him a curious smile and her eyes were very soft.

"At least, not since yesterday in the park," Edward added. "Or tonight at dinner."

Bella's cheeks coloured now. "Me too," she said.

There was a moment of stillness and peace and Edward felt like he was lit up from the inside - and then he dived back into the box while Bella put Max and his monsters on the shelves.

"We must be nearly done," she said. "I'm running out of room."

"Just two more," Edward said. "An Atlas and...a photo album."

This was treasure in his hands.

He looked from the album to Bella and cocked his head. "May I look?"

She seemed unsure and he almost said not to worry, but he really, really wanted to see inside.

A moment passed and Bella rolled her eyes.

"Oh, okay," she drawled and Edward smiled as he set the album in his lap.

It opened with what was no doubt her eighteenth birthday. A pink cake on a kitchen table with eighteen candles of varying lengths.

"Charlie bought it from the Thrift Way," Bella smiled fondly. She pushed the now-empty book box out of the way and sat cross-legged beside Edward on the floor.

There were pictures of her Forks classmates on field trips; the old car that had obviously replaced her truck; boats on the water at Port Angeles. Her talent for photography had been raw then and when Edward's eyes flicked to the frames on the wall he could see how her style and eye for light had improved over time.

There was a Christmas tree with home-made decorations, Bella sitting in front of it with a resigned smile as she opened a gift.

"You cut your hair."

"For a change. But I grew it out again."

Edward studied the soft layers that framed her face and stopped at her jaw, leaving her beautiful neck and throat exposed.

He turned more pages, his eyes taking in every detail of every picture, reveling in this glimpse of the past two years - two years when he had loved her and spent every moment wondering what she was doing.

Now he could see.

"Senior Prom?" He stopped at the photo of his former class mates dressed in suits and evening wear. Bella looked beautiful in a long dress of deep blue. Her hair was a little longer in this picture and it curled softly just above her shoulders. "You look lovely," he smiled but Bella just gave a lazy shrug.

"I'd managed to avoid two spring dances and junior prom, but I thought I'd give senior prom a try."

"You don't like dancing?"

"No. I tend to fall over. A lot."

He chuckled. "We'll have to see what we can do about that." He turned back to the photo. "Who's that?"

Edward didn't recognise the tall, lanky boy with dark, messy hair who stood, scowling, at the back of the group. "A new arrival?"

"Er, no. That's Hamish." Edward sensed Bella's awkwardness and looked up, confused. She shrugged again. "He was my boyfriend."

"Oh."

_Boyfriend._

For a brief moment Edward felt numb. Then he felt bewildered.

And jealous.

And hurt.

He realised with a jolt that he already thought of Bella as _his_, and the thought of someone else touching her, or kissing her, or _more, _was not welcome.

But Edward's expression gave nothing away as he forced down his jealousy and instead searched desperately for reason and logic.

It would be foolish, and unrealistic, he told himself, to think that Bella had reached almost twenty without having a boyfriend. He would be naive to assume there had been no-one in her life.

With a deep breath Edward knew he just needed to focus on the fact that Bella was _here _now, with _him._

He breathed in her scent and let it flow through him, calming him.

He thought of cashmere blankets.

And realised _pain _was added proof of his soul.

"We worked together in the bookstore," Bella explained. "Really we just dated for a while in senior year, we'd go see a movie after work, or get something to eat." She paused and bit her lip as she studied Edward's face. "But he never asked me to go for a walk with him," she added, smiling gently, and her words eased Edward even more.

He gave her a crooked smile in return.

Bella looked over his shoulder at the photo and snorted softly.

"At first I thought he was intense and interesting, but he just turned out to be sullen and moody. We broke up at prom."

There was something in the tone of those last words that put Edward on alert and his smile dropped. His head snapped up, too quickly, and Bella startled a little.

"What happened?" he whispered darkly.

"Nothing really," she answered quickly. "He wanted to take our relationship to a new level and I didn't. I told him no." She pulled one leg up to her chest, hugging it protectively as she rested her chin on her knee. She was frowning now.

Watching her this way, Edward took a deliberately slow breath. Under cover of the photo album his hand clawed into a fist, nails digging into his palm.

"Did he _hurt _you?" His voice was low and trembled slightly. He had already decided that if the piece of filth called Hamish had laid just one unwelcome finger on Bella he would hunt him down and...

"No," Bella shook her head. "Nothing like that. He just wasn't...very happy." She scrunched up her face. "He said some things...that's all." Her expression clouded again while Edward struggled with his anger. He calmed himself with images of Hamish's pale, scrawny neck in his grasp.

"But he's not worth talking about," Bella declared suddenly. She let out a breath and smiled now. "He's waaay in the past, where he belongs." She let go of her knee and curled her legs beneath her instead. "I only keep the photo because it's the only prom picture I have. It's just a shame he's in it."

"We could always cut his head out."

Bella laughed but Edward wasn't really joking.

He decided he needed her to distract him.

"What's happening here?" He pointed randomly at another photo without really looking.

"Um..." Bella giggled. "That's graduation. See, you can tell by the gowns and the caps."

She was teasing him and suddenly Edward's anger began to fade and he was chuckling with her.

"I knew that," he grinned, Bella nudged him playfully with her shoulder and Hamish was thought of no more. Although Edward had taken note, and if Hamish ever crossed his path...

The next pages of the album were devoted to Bella's months in Europe.

"Who's this?" He pointed at a photo of Bella and another girl, grinning outside the Vatican.

"That's Jacqui. We met where I was staying in Rome. We did some sight seeing together there and caught up again in Florence. She was really nice."

"So you weren't always alone?"

"Not always. There are always people around if you want company or someone to travel with."

"You'd have to be careful who you chose, though."

"Sure. But I think doing a trip like this sharpens your instincts and you get a feel for people pretty quickly. You have to, really."

Edward stared at her and she looked at him quizzically. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing." He turned back to the album and wondered what it meant that her instincts let her feel so comfortable with _him_.

When he turned the page he smiled.

Venice.

It was one of his favourite cities. The Piazza san Marco at night was one of his favourite places. "Did you ride in a gondola?"

Bella shook her head vehemently.

"Way too expensive. I just stood and watched, but looking back now I wish I'd just done it and gone without lunch for a week. I mean, you don't find yourself in Venice every day, right?"

Immediately, Edward made her a silent promise - she would ride in a gondola one day.

He'd even _buy _her her own gondola if she wanted.

He wondered what plans she had for the summer and for a moment he lost himself in thoughts of sitting beside her on a summer's evening as they floated serenely beneath the Bridge of Sighs.

"What are you grinning at?" Bella's voice called him back.

"Nothing." Now he nudged her shoulder playfully.

But when Edward turned the next page he felt Bella shift a little and her body tense.

Then his eyes fell on a series of photos, taken on a beach at night.

The first showed Bella, sitting on the sand, rugged up, looking beautiful but serious in the glow of a small fire. The wind sweeping her hair up and away from her face.

The next photo showed Bella again but now she was with a young man.

A handsome young man, dark-haired and green eyed.

He was obviously holding the camera himself and their heads were tilted as they made sure they fitted into the frame. In this photo Bella was smiling but while she was staring at the camera, his head was turned slightly, his nose almost touching her cheek as he smiled affectionately at her.

Edward's breath stilled in his chest. But when he saw the next picture he felt like the earth had just fallen out from under him.

The young man was kissing Bella's cheek while she looked down, shyly.

And there was one more photo where he was smiling at the camera while Bella was looking away into the distance.

Jealousy threatened again but Edward beat it back, because even though Bella looked happy in these photos, she didn't look connected.

Her smile wasn't the smile she gave him, Edward.

"That's Atticus," Bella said quietly and carefully. "We met in Berlin."

Edward nodded slowly.

"We were staying at the same place and it turned out we had a lot in common and we wanted to see the same things, so we travelled together for a few weeks."

"Weeks?"

Bella nodded. "From Germany down through France. "

Edward nodded again, supposing he should be grateful she hadn't always been alone.

He had so many questions that he didn't want to ask. Things that he_ shouldn't_ ask.

Things that were none of his business.

"Do you keep in touch?" His voice was tight now, and so was his chest, but he concentrated on Bella's warmth as she sat close to him.

She shifted a little and their knees touched.

When she twined her fingers with his he breathed again.

"No, we don't keep in touch." She leant her head against his shoulder. "And he never told me his most embarrassing moment to make me feel better about mine."

She tilted her face so she could smile up at him. And it was _his _smile.

Her eyes were bright and brilliant and suddenly the rest of the world fell away. And now Edward was grinning.

Bella reached out and turned the page for him, leaving Atticus behind.

There was a photo of a mountain top village taken from a distance. She'd used a zoom lens, he thought, and taken it in such a way that sunlight was sparking off a tall clock tower, making it look almost as though it were being struck with lightning. It was a clever shot.

"Where is this?" It seemed vaguely familiar but Edward wasn't sure why. And then he thought he'd be the first vampire in history to suffer heart failure when Bella answered...

"Volterra."

Edward's fist almost went through the floor. Of course...he'd seen that clock tower in the painting on Carlisle's wall.

"Did you go there?" He wasn't sure how he managed to get the words out.

Bella shook her head.

"No. It's hard to get to, the roads are really narrow and windy. There's a tourist bus but they charge outrageous prices. I couldn't afford it."

Edward said a silent thank you to the god of inflated tourist bus prices and inched a little closer to Bella. This trip down memory lane was turning into a walk down a dark alley.

"What else have we got," he said and quickly turned the page.

It was the last page in the album and there were two photos.

Chief Swan's house in Forks, complete with police cruiser in the driveway and Chief Swan standing beside it looking stoic and slightly uncomfortable. Not someone who likes to be photographed, Edward thought.

The last photo was taken from the back of a moving car. It was a sign by the roadside which read...

_You are now leaving Forks, WA._

It's significance was not lost on Edward.

"So, that's me," Bella smiled and lifted her head from Edward's shoulder as he closed the album and set it on the floor.

She stretched and Edward realised they'd been sitting on the hard floor for a long time. He stood and held out his hand and they moved to the sofa, angling themselves and linking fingers like they had before.

Edward wanted to move closer and wondered about putting his arm around Bella. But while he was wondering this, Bella was obviously wondering things of her own.

"What about you?" she asked suddenly.

"Me?"

"Well, you know all about me..." she trailed off, leaving her sentence unfinished but her blush spoke for her.

With a shock Edward realised she wanted to know if he'd had girlfriends.

Bella was biting her lip and he could see a flicker of anxiety in her eyes. His grip tightened on her hand.

"I have nothing to tell," he said. "There has been no-one."

Now Bella's expression changed from shy and anxious to pure disbelief.

She arched a very skeptical eyebrow.

"No-one?"

Edward shook his head slowly, keeping steady, honest eyes on hers.

"No-one."

"At all? No-one _at all_?" Her eyes roamed over him briefly and he had a fair idea what she was thinking.

"There was a girl," he said slowly as his mind turned to Tanya and her hollow offers. "She expressed some interest, but it wasn't what I was looking for."

Bella blinked a couple of times, as though she was trying to absorb what she was hearing.

"You've never had a girlfriend?"

Edward shook his head again. "No. Never." He swallowed heavily now and his mouth felt strangely dry. "There's never been anyone I've wanted to be with. Until now."

And with those words Edward realised he had basically declared himself and his intentions.

And he'd also basically admitted to being a virgin.

Time stopped and he sat frozen while Bella stared.

Then she smiled.

A slow smile that grew and warmed and lit up her whole face.

"Me too," she said. "I've never..." She shrugged the rest of her sentence.

Edward felt all the air leave his body.

"I thought, maybe with Atticus..." His eyes flickered to the album on the floor.

Bella shook her head. "I came close," she whispered. "But he wasn't the right one."

The significance of her words were there in her eyes that brimmed with meaning and promise and hope.

And Edward was lost, drowning deep in a joy that defied description. And though he'd promised himself he wouldn't kiss her properly until she knew the truth, right now his heart and new soul had joined forces and taken control.

And he wanted desperately to kiss her.

He reached for Bella, pulling her to him gently as he moved closer.

His eyes moved to her lips as he leant in slowly, letting her know his intention, giving her the chance to pull away if she chose.

But Bella didn't pull away.

She leant in too.

And Edward kissed her.

So tenderly, his lips moved over hers.

So soft.

So slow.

He curled his arms around her, holding her closer to him as he bent his head over hers, his lips pressing and yielding gently against hers.

Her arms were curled around his neck, he could feel the frantic rise and fall of her chest against his, and though his throat burned it was a different fire that seared through him now, from scalp to toes, telling him he was alive and in love.

And loved in return.

Edward knew this was the sweetest and most spectacular moment of his life.

Bella mouthed a silent _wow_ when they pulled apart. She bit her lip and smiled at him. Edward's chest swelled with joy and satisfaction and more than a little pride.

He'd made her say _wow_.

With just a kiss.

His first kiss.

He ran his long fingers into her hair, like he'd wanted so often to do, feeling the silk of the strands. Bella looked at him with eyes that were excited and anxious and asking _what happens now?_

Edward took a slow, deep breath, to calm his mind as much as his body. He leant so his forehead touched hers.

"Bella," he breathed and closed his eyes.

He heard her soft giggle and he smiled, bringing his head back up slowly and opening his eyes again.

He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Bella," he whispered again.

He leant in again and nudged her cheek with his nose.

"Do you think...do you think we can take this slowly?" He spoke gently and pulled back to see her face. "I want to get to really know you, I want you to know me...there are things I need to tell you and..."

"Ssh..." Bella touched his cheek. "When you're ready," she smiled. "And slow sounds good."

She kissed the corner of his mouth, sweetly, chastely, and then Edward tucked her under his chin again.

Bella curled up like she belonged there.

Which, as far as Edward was concerned, she did.

But then she lifted her head.

"I can't hear your heart."

For a second Edward was thrown.

"It's in there," he assured her. Then he smiled. "I can feel it."

She smiled too and re-settled herself and Edward stroked his hand over her hair.

"Can I ask you something?" Bella's voice broke through his bliss. Her finger was trailing lazily over his arm.

Edward hesitated for just a second before he said _yes, _and he just hoped that the _something _she wanted to ask was something he would be able to answer.

Bella shifted a little as she began. Her head was still against his chest but she looked up at him now.

"I know it was a long time ago now, but I've always wondered...that first day we met in Biology had I done something to upset you?"

Edward hadn't expected her to ask _that_, and yet he completely understood why she would. His behaviour had been beyond rude and deserved an explanation, especially now.

The problem was that Edward didn't know how to answer.

He could make something up, but he didn't want to lie.

So that left the truth.

Edward considered that option for a moment, but decided against it.

He wanted Bella to get to know_ who _he was, before he told her _what_ he was.

Tonight was too soon.

But Bella was waiting for an answer. She was watching him closely, her eyes gentle but curious and, it seemed, a little anxious.

Edward's mouth had grown strangely dry.

"I am very sorry about that," he began slowly. He cupped his hand around the back of his neck and his eyes closed as he struggled to explain without explaining.

"Something had happened that day and I wasn't handling it very well." It was an ambiguous explanation, vague and hazy and it barely skirted the truth, but it was the best he could offer her right now. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean to pry," Bella said quickly. "It's just I thought you didn't like me and I couldn't work out what I'd done."

Edward shook his head. "It was me," he said, and offered her a small smile.

To his relief she smiled back.

"The next lesson was better, though, I hope?" He arched a hopeful eyebrow.

"You asked me lots of questions," Bella was still smiling, her chin planted firmly over his breast bone now.

"I was curious about you."

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because I was intrigued."

"_Intrigued?_ By me?"

Edward nodded, watching her carefully. He wondered if he'd said the wrong thing. But then Bella smiled again.

"You intrigued me, too," she said and then shook her head. "And you were confusing and irritating and frustrating...and I was disappointed when you didn't come back."

Edward's breath stopped as Bella's words sunk in.

"Were you?"

"Yes."

"I...I didn't want to go." Edward stammered uncharacteristically in his shock. "But I had to. Things were very..._confusing,_ back then."

Bella's eyes were troubled and for a moment Edward thought he'd upset her, but as she reached up to stroke his face he realised her concern was for _him._

"Things are better now, though?"

"Much better," Edward turned and kissed her fingers that rested on his cheek.

"I can't really believe you're here," Bella whispered.

Edward couldn't believe it either, but was curious why she felt that way.

"Why do you say that?" he wondered.

Bella shook her head and rested her cheek back on his chest.

"Because I've thought about you sometimes over the past two years. And I've wondered what I'd do if I ever saw you again. And then last week you were walking towards me across the road, smiling and saying my name..." she giggled softly. "I don't think I was as cool as I was when I imagined it."

"You thought about me?"

He felt her nod against him.

He swallowed and his voice only shook a little when he spoke again.

"I thought about you, too."

He held her to him, feeling her heart beat against his. Beating _for _his.

When she stood up a moment later Edward was bereft. But she smiled as she walked to her bedroom and he was happy when she returned with an armful of purple cashmere. Without a word she handed it to him and he reached for her, wrapping the blanket around them both so there was a soft double layer in between.

Bella nestled against Edward once more.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" he wanted to know.

Bella sounded unenthusiastic as she said she should really work on her paper or it wouldn't be ready to submit by Friday.

"I'll need study breaks though."

Edward touched the tip of her nose as she looked at him hopefully.

"Why don't you call me when you're ready?" he said. "And we can do something. If you like."

"I like," Bella smiled.

They swapped cell numbers and Bella curled up again on Edward's chest. When she fell asleep there a little after midnight he lifted her and carried her to her bedroom.

He laid her carefully under the covers of the double bed then sat down by her feet to watch her.

She was so peaceful, so beautiful, with her hair spread across the pillow. He wished he could lay beside her and fall asleep too, wrapped in her arms.

Tonight had been overload for Edward, with all that they'd discussed and all that he'd discovered.

And re-discovered.

He chuckled quietly as he thought it wasn't every day you find your soul, have your first kiss and learn the girl you've been waiting for has been waiting for you, too.

Edward couldn't fathom the good fortune that had brought him to this moment. The deep, aching, melancholy love that he had felt for two years had been brought to vivid, brilliant life and Edward thought he might shatter with the force of it.

But there wasn't just joy. There was a deep, warm contentment too.

He felt like he'd finally found where he belonged.

He reached out and touched Bella's cheek. She stirred a little and mumbled something incoherent about cheese.

Edward smiled, enjoying this glimpse into her subconscious mind.

Then he remembered that she didn't know he was in her room and he wondered if it would bother her. He wasn't sure so he kissed her forehead and returned, reluctantly, to the living room.

Edward picked up the photo album from the floor and set it on the coffee table.

He tidied the empty box away, and the tea cup, and then very quietly he let himself out of Bella's apartment, taking his new soul and his first kiss with him.

He whistled as he walked across the road to his house.

-0-

As he reached his front door Edward realised he didn't want to go in.

He couldn't just watch television or read or listen to music. He felt energised, alive. He felt _real._

He decided to go hunting.

Edward drove to the woods where he'd been the week before. There was a herd of deer to the north and he began to track them but only after he'd disposed of a slice and a half of cheese and tomato pizza first.

Normally when Edward hunted he was completely focused, he was the world's greatest predator in all his glory.

But not this night.

He was distracted by his thoughts of Bella and memories of his lips on hers, and the hopes that were now possibilities, and he tackled the nearest deer clumsily. He slid into the dirt as it escaped him.

He stood up quickly and shook himself. He closed his eyes and re-focused, reluctantly pushing aside thoughts of Bella for the moment. His chest rumbled with a low growl as he let the predator free.

A second later he tore off after the deer, his lips pulled back in a snarl, eyes wide and bright with the thrill of the hunt. The venom flowed, his mouth filled, his teeth glistened in the moonlight. His legs were like pistons as he bore down on his meal and with a powerful lunge he grabbed the deer around the neck and brought it down. Then he fell upon its body and bit into the pulsing jugular.

Edward's eyes rolled as his mouth closed over the artery and he pulled the warm, rich blood into his mouth, feeling it flow over his lips and down his throat, filling him, easing the burn.

When he was done he pushed the carcass away and continued the chase, heading further north where the rest of the herd had fled.

An hour later when he'd finished his sixth deer, he sat under a tree and looked up at the stars. As usual, he could see Bella's eyes looking back. He frowned a little as he wondered what she would make of this side of him.

And then he marveled at the difference a few days could make.

Less than a week ago he'd been wondering_ if_ he should even _approach_ Bella. And now...

He let out a heavy breath and leant his head back against the tree trunk.

And while Edward knew he come a long way with Bella in just a couple of days, he also knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. He looked around at the trees and chuckled softly at his little joke. Emmett would like that one, he thought.

A leaf fell from the branches above and landed in Edward's lap. As his fingers brushed it away he noticed his clothes. His earlier clumsiness showed in the dirt and grass stains that streaked the denim of his jeans and the white linen of his shirt. It was very unlike him.

He brushed off what he could then looked back at the stars. He shifted, laying down now, his back flat on the earth. He breathed deeply as he stared at the stars again and Bella's eyes.

But tonight when Edward looked at the stars there was none of the melancholy of the past two years - just joy and excitement.

And desire.

Edward's body had been strung tight all evening, and now he ached for release. And on another night like this, before he had Bella back in his life, he would have given in and let go.

But not now.

He exhaled sharply, stood up and began to run.

Fast.

Trying to out-run the feelings that were pulling at him.

His hair streamed back from his face, his shirt tore free of his jeans and billowed around him. His body called, it would have been so easy to give in, to just stop and let the feelings take him, but he was determined.

He didn't know if it would ever happen, but if he was ever going to experience that ecstasy again, it would only be with Bella.

Edward would wait.

-0-

Bella called at two thirty the next afternoon.

"I've had enough!" she declared down the phone. "Ready to rescue me?"

Edward laughed. "It'll be my pleasure. Can you give me twenty minutes and I'll be there?"

He heard movement from the other end of the line and he guessed she was looking out the window for his car. And he was right.

"Where are you?"

"In a shopping mall."

"Oh, if you're busy..."

"Not at all. Twenty minutes, okay?"

He slung his backpack further over his shoulder as he strode through the crowds towards the multi-storey car park.

"Sounds good. Um, Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Did you put me to bed last night?"

His steps faltered a little and he stopped, disrupting the human traffic around him, but he didn't care.

Should he have left Bella on the sofa? Had he overstepped the line?

"You fell asleep. I thought you might be uncomfortable if..."

"Edward?" she cut him off.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He smiled, relieved, and started walking again.

"So, what would you like to do?" he asked.

He'd spent the last twelve hours thinking and anticipating and that was why he'd come shopping.

He'd bought more music, and a collection of dvd's he thought Bella might like. He'd bought Scrabble, a chess set and a deck of cards.

Edward liked games, but it was rare that anyone would play with him. The mind reading meant it was virtually impossible to win against him and his family had long given up trying.

"I think I've been inside too long," Bella yawned. "I need to get outside."

Edward's eyes darted to the glass wall that overlooked the outdoor food court. The sun had come out not long after he'd arrived at the mall and he'd thought for a while he might be trapped, but the cloud was back now, settling itself again over the city.

Something outside...another walk? A drive? He watched the wind tossing the leaves and inspiration hit.

"I have an idea," he said as he turned around and headed back towards the escalators. "Can we make it half an hour instead?"

Thirty three minutes later Edward collected Bella from her apartment.

A little after that she stood beside him in the parking lot of the Chicago Botanic Garden, watching him open the trunk of the Saab.

"You're serious?" she laughed.

"Very."

He lifted out the long package.

"But you shouldn't have spent the money..."

"Don't spoil my fun, Bella." Edward smirked as he cocked a warning eyebrow and Bella's frown melted.

"I've never done this before," she giggled.

"Well, they say there's a first time for everything."

"I'll probably get tangled up."

"Then I'll untangle you."

Bella blushed a little and the wind blew her hair into her eyes. Edward reached out and tucked the strands behind her ears. Then he took her hand.

"Come on," he grinned. "Lets go fly a kite."

-0-

The kite was purple and orange with a single line and a long tail of coloured ribbons.

Edward's expert hands made it pitch and weave while Bella watched, laughing. When the breeze would drop Edward would run, pulling it behind him and it would rise sharply into the air again, dancing once more at his command.

"Here, you try!" He handed Bella the reel but she held up her hands.

"I don't know how."

"It's easy. The breeze is strong now, so just hold on and let the kite do its thing."

So she took the reel and held on, laughing as she felt the tug and pull on the line.

"Oh! It's stronger than I thought!"

Edward chuckled. Her eyes were wide as they stared skywards and she was biting her lip hard in concentration. Edward was unconsciously biting his own lip as he watched her.

When the breeze began to drop she frowned. And panicked.

"Oh! No...what do I do? What do I do? Edward, quick!"

"Run!"

"What?"

"Run! Just run!"

So they ran.

Bella laughed and gasped as the kite rose sharply and then dropped again, just as suddenly, barely missing the ground.

"It's going to crash!"

"No it's not!" Edward cried.

As Bella struggled with the line he came behind her, his arms circling her carefully as his hands covered hers on the reel. He gave a pull and a twist and suddenly the kite was soaring again. "See? Disaster averted."

He was watching the kite, but he felt Bella's eyes on him. He looked down and saw her smiling. He smiled back and she looked up at the kite again.

"This is fantastic," she said. "Thank you."

And Edward couldn't help himself - she was so beautiful, she was in his arms...

...he lowered his face and kissed her. Just fleetingly.

Bella's heart picked up, surprise and delight were written all over her face. Then she rose up on her toes and kissed him in return. Just fleetingly.

Edward was completely lost, distracted, and while he and Bella stared at each other the kite crashed.

-0-

"It is okay?"

They sat side by side on a grassy rise that overlooked an ornamental lake. Edward was readjusting the kite's carbon rods.

"Yep." He held it up. "See?"

Bella touched the frame. "It looks like nothing even happened."

"They're designed to crash as well as fly."

He set the kite down beside him and leant back on his hands.

"You've flown kites before," she said suddenly and Edward nodded.

"I got one for Christmas once. I've always liked them."

Bella laid down and rolled onto her front, propping her head up with her hands as she looked at him. Her eyes were dark and curious.

"What do you like about them?"

He shrugged. "I don't know exactly. It's just fun."

Bella's smile was warm. "Did you come here to fly your kite when you were a kid?"

"No." The Botanic Gardens hadn't existed when Edward was a boy. "There was a park closer to home." He plucked at some grass and decided to change the subject.

"So, how was your morning?"

It seemed Bella had managed to get a lot of work done, was well on track for her submission, and was feeling pretty relaxed.

Oh, and she'd had a call from her mother.

She rolled her eyes and Edward chuckled as she told him Renee had won sky-diving lessons in a local radio competition. Apparently it was the first thing she had ever won and wasn't it lucky she knew the name of Theodore Roosevelt's dog.

"Will she do it?" Edward asked. "The sky-diving?"

"Probably." Bella answered and sat up. "It's the sort of thing she would do."

"She's adventurous?"

"Mm, adventurous? I guess that's one way of looking at it. Really she's just impulsive. There's a difference."

Edward listened then as Bella told him a little about her mother. She used words like loving, creative, erratic and scatter-brained. Her tone was gently exasperated but Edward could see the deep affection in her eyes. "Anyway, I told her to be careful and to make sure she read the insurance paperwork thoroughly before she leapt out of anything." She shook her head. "I can see why she and Charlie didn't work out."

"Chief Swan never did strike me as the impulsive, scatter-brained type," Edward joked and Bella laughed.

"No, definitely not."

Edward studied her for a moment. It was clear that Bella had some of her mother's adventurous spirit, her solo trip through Europe was proof of that, but she wasn't reckless. Any risks she took would be tempered with a clear head and quiet consideration he thought. Her decisions would always be well informed.

"You're more like your father, I think." The words were just a murmur, he hadn't really meant to say them out loud, but Bella heard and frowned a little.

"Can't I just be me?"

The wind had blown some of the hair out of her pony tail and it was fluttering around her eyes. Edward reached out and tucked it behind her ear.

"That sounds good to me," he said.

Bella blushed. A soft smile tugged at her lips and she looked out into the distance, watching some kids kicking a ball near the lake. The wind was tossing her hair gently, her blush still bloomed on her cheeks. In profile like this Edward could appreciate the soft curve and pout of her lips.

She was so beautiful.

Saturday, Edward decided.

He would tell Bella the truth on Saturday, after her paper was finished and submitted and off her mind.

Saturday.

That gave him five days for them to get to know each other.

Five days for Bella to know the man before she learned about the monster.

Five days to, hopefully, secure her heart so she wouldn't run away screaming.

Five days to prove himself, so maybe she would be able to look _past_ the monster and see the man, see _him..._Edward, just Edward.

And perhaps, if she could do that, then maybe she would _consider_ him.

Edward felt nervous now. And excited.

He needed something to do.

"Wanna fly the kite again?"

He taught her how to make it turn and dip. She laughed when, at last, it began to do what she wanted.

Edward stood back, watching, hands on his hips, his grin stretched wide across his face.

When she ran and stumbled he was beside her, snaring her quickly before she hit the ground.

"The kite!" she cried as he tucked her into his side. "You're letting it crash!"

"Better it than you," he laughed, but he gave a quick jerk on the line and the kite was airborne again. He handed Bella the reel.

"No. I don't think I can run any more," she gasped.

"Then we'll sit."

Edward dropped gracefully to the ground, bringing Bella with him. She leant against him, watching as he smoothly and expertly brought the kite in to land.

They were silent, looking out over the gardens and the lake from the rise where they sat, while Bella's breath returned to normal.

"You know those days that stay with you forever?" she murmured.

Edward's heart soared as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

-0-

Edward dropped Bella at her door at five o'clock. She was going to get in some more study before she came to his place at seven for Thai take-out and a dvd.

While Edward waited for the longest two hours of his life to pass he went on-line to order a Thai mini-banquet to be delivered at seven thirty and wondered if he'd have to eat any of it.

He included the _tofu special_ just in case.

Tofu was manageable - it slid down easily.

When dinner was ordered he tidied up a little and turned up the heating. The nights were still cool.

Then he phoned his family to let them know he was going to tell Bella the truth about himself.

Alice squealed through the phone and would have burst a human ear drum.

"Don't tell me you didn't see it coming," Edward laughed with her and Alice told him she didn't see _everything_ and shouldn't he _know that by now?_

"But I did see it coming, yes," she giggled. "It's the clearest vision of you I've had for a while."

She didn't mention if she could see Bella's reaction and Edward didn't ask. Though temptation was there, he was determined to do this alone, without supernatural help.

"I'm sorry about Rose," Alice added. "I should have thought it through before I told her. And she decided to call you so suddenly, by the time I saw it it was too late to warn you."

"It's alright," Edward said. "It was actually a good thing. I think we understand each other now."

Esme was as excited as Alice, just not as loud, and said she couldn't wait to meet Bella - whenever she was ready, of course.

"It's still early days," Edward told her but she just scoffed and told him they all missed him.

Jasper wished his brother good luck and gave his own style of support.

"I know you wouldn't be telling Bella if you thought there was any risk to us," he said.

Carlisle came on the line next and Edward could hear the smile in his voice.

"Sounds like you have some news," he said.

Edward laughed and gave him a run-down of the past few days.

"You've been busy," Carlisle chuckled. "I'm so happy for you, son. How are you feeling about Saturday?"

"Excited. And terrified," Edward answered. "But it feels right."

And it did.

At the core of Edward's anticipation and anxiety was a steady calm that told him he was on the right track.

"We're here if you need us," Carlisle said. "We want you to be happy, Edward."

Once Edward had said goodbye he put some music on, turned on the soft lamps, and rifled through the DVDs. He wondered which one Bella would choose.

He thought of setting them all out on the coffee table to make selection easier, but then decided that would look too planned. And just a little odd.

So he slotted them back on the shelf.

He moved at human speed, trying to fill up the forty minutes left until Bella arrived.

As he put the DVDs away he sang along with the music, his head and shoulders moving in time with the rhythm.

When the last movie was shelved he stood up and his eyes fell on the hearth in front of the fireplace. He smiled and nudged with his bare toe at the deep blue mosaic tile that used to hide his secret treasures. Then his brow puckered in a frown and he stopped singing.

A second later he was on the phone again.

"Carlisle? I need you to send me something, please."

**A/N: This chapter had a re-write at the last minute, and the snippet of conversation that appeared as a teaser on the Twilighted forum thread is no longer included. It will appear in another chapter or two...just in case you're wondering.**

**Also, I've had trouble responding to reviews. I hit the reply link and get a message that the page is outdated? I'm trying to sort it out but if anyone has any clues...let me know. In the meantime, thank you all for your lovely words and messages - they're truly appreciated.**

**Now, a big thank you to my Beta, Edward's Eternal. Apart from being a lovely person, she's a great Beta with an amazing turn around time, and is brilliant at offering suggestions to make my English more American (otherwise you'd be reading about Edward sitting at kitchen benches, instead of kitchen counters, and he'd wear jumpers instead of sweaters, and ride in lifts instead of elevators...you get the idea).**

**And she doesn't just Beta for me...she has a whole swag of authors and her skills are in demand. So it's not surprising that she's been nominated for an award for Best Beta in the Sunflower Awards! Congratulations, Melanie :) Voting is open until 25 May!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Edward continued to stare at the mosaic hearth tiles as he spoke to Carlisle. His voice was quiet, subdued, as he asked if Carlisle would mind sending him the old, yellowed envelope which he kept in his desk. The envelope he kept but never looked in.

"Your photographs?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes," Edward answered softly. He toed at the tiles and sifted through cloudy memories of his childhood and hidden treasures. "I only have five, but I thought it might give Bella some context if she can see who I used to be...before. I thought it might help."

"Start at the beginning?"

"Something like that. I've told her a few things, but I thought if she could actually _see..._"

He trailed off and in the silence Edward thought he could hear Carlisle smile.

"Context is very important. I think it's an excellent idea son. So, tell me exactly where to find the envelope."

Edward stayed lost in his thoughts long after the conversation with Carlisle had ended.

Still standing by the hearth he looked around the room as his mind filled with human memories left untouched for decades.

He flirted with sweet nostalgia and skirted around melancholy.

But Edward had new memories, too.

Incredible memories that he shared with Bella and that he would keep until he ceased to exist. And even then, he'd take them with him.

And he was planning to make_ more_ memories with Bella.

Lots more.

He thought of the coming days, and the things he could do to show Bella the man he was, so she could see the man he had become _for her._

There would be no hearts and flowers, he decided.

No gifts or grand gestures or romantic cliches.

He thought instead of the things he'd discovered about Bella so far, her experiences and interests.

Smiling, Edward began to plan his courtship of Isabella Swan.

-0-

The next day, in a small café on the edge of the university campus, Edward sat at a corner table.

He was waiting for Bella.

While he waited his long fingers were busy making an origami swan from a napkin. He smiled as he folded and creased the napkin into shape. It wasn't the right sort of paper for origami - too soft and floppy, but even so, under Edward's skillful direction the swan was coming to life.

The waitress, Sandra, approached with a jug and two glasses and set them on the table.

"Still waiting?"

"I'm early," Edward smiled.

Sandra smiled back.

Her thoughts were kind and Edward could see she was starting to worry that he'd been stood up, although the chance of that was slim, she decided. She couldn't really imagine anyone standing _him _up. Ever.

_They'd have to be blind, _she thought. _And deaf._

"I'm sure she'll be here soon," she said. "Let me know if you need anything."

Edward thanked her and she headed off to serve another customer.

He took a slow breath and frowned at the little swan.

He wasn't happy with its left wing, so he unfolded and refolded it.

Twice.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he held the swan still while he checked the screen. The message was from his bank confirming his appointment with Ms Harrop at three o'clock. Edward slipped the phone away and continued with the swan.

If he was honest with himself he was feeling a little nervous now. The visit to the bank was the next step in his plan to give Bella context. He was beginning to feel Saturday looming over him and suddenly it was as though his life had a deadline and it was rushing towards him. The _ifs _he'd lived with for so long were becoming _whens, _and that was exciting and terrifying all at once.

He ran his fingernail sharply over the crease in the swan's wing and it stayed put this time. He made one more fold across the tail, tweaked the beak, and it was done. He set the little bird in the middle of the table, beside the water glass. It began to lean slowly to the right and he reached out to straighten it but at the sound of Bella's approaching heartbeat the paper swan was forgotten. And so were the nerves.

Edward was already on his feet as Bella opened the door. He caught her scent on the breeze that rushed in with her and he inhaled deeply. It filled his lungs and though it burned him no less, each time it meant more.

She was beautiful. Her skin was flushed from rushing, her hair was wild around her face and her eyes lit up when she saw him. Edward's body tightened and he felt that rush that only Bella could bring.

"You found the place okay?" she said, breathless.

"I did."

"It's not fancy but the food's alright and it's cheap enough."

"It's fine."

He smiled and kissed her cheek, then he led her across the room.

He held out her chair.

"Thank you," she smiled. "You're spoiling me."

"Why do you say that?" He frowned as he took the seat opposite.

"You know," she shrugged and began listing the evidence. "Holding doors, pushing chairs in, helping me with my jacket the other night."

Edward blinked at her.

"That's not spoiling, Bella." It amazed him that she would think this. "That's just how you should be treated."

Colour stained Bella's cheeks and she fussed with her bag over the back of her chair. It was clear to Edward that no-one had treated her properly before. This both annoyed and satisfied him.

"I used to think that sort of thing was old-fashioned," she said softly.

"Oh." Edward frowned a little. It was just how he had been raised, but now he wondered if she was trying to tell him she didn't like it. "Do you want me to stop?" It would go against everything he was, but ...

"No, I like it," she smiled shyly and grabbed a menu from the centre of the table.

"Oh!" She looked at the origami swan. "Did you do that?"

Edward nodded.

"That's fantastic." Bella leant forward and studied it closely. "I'd love to be able to do something like this." She reached out to touch its beak and as her finger connected the swan fell over. In graceful slow-motion it began to unfold.

"Oh, I'm sorry!"

"Don't be," Edward chuckled. "It was never going to last. The paper's all wrong."

He picked the napkin up. With a flourish he flattened and re-folded it back into its original square shape.

"I can make another one, if you like. One day when I have some proper paper."

Bella smiled. "I'd like that."

Her eyes wandered back to the menu. Sandra took their orders. A simple salad for Bella and a coffee for Edward.

"I'm glad you called me," she smiled. "How did your appointment with the Admissions Office go?" Bella leant her elbow on the table and rested her head in her palm.

"As expected," Edward shrugged and mirrored her pose. "My transfer is in the system, I just have to wait."

Bella wrinkled her nose and Edward reached for her hand.

"So," he said. "Did you sleep well last night? No nightmares after the movie?"

Bella rolled her eyes.

They'd had Thai take-out and a movie at Edward's house. She'd enjoyed the mini-banquet and he'd bluffed his way through the tofu surprise and afterwards he'd told her his dvd collection was at her disposal. She had chosen _Jaws, _because she had never seen it, and Edward had teased her about needing a strong stomach and nerves of steel.

"No nightmares," she declared firmly as Edward poured her a glass of water.

"I'm not surprised. You were very brave," he smirked. "I think you only screamed twice. But then, you only looked at the screen twice."

Bella was laughing now. "I wasn't that bad," she muttered "So I might have had to hold your hand a couple of times...you didn't seem to mind."

Edward arched a skeptical brow and Bella laughed some more.

"Okay, okay...I practically sat in your lap with my head buried in your chest for two hours." Then her cheeks coloured crimson. "You still didn't seem to mind, though."

"No," Edward smiled and slowly shook his head. "I didn't mind at all."

The memory of her in his arms, her body pressed close while he kissed her hair and whispered warnings of when to look away, was vivid and brilliant and made him shift slightly in his chair.

He swallowed and stared down at the menu and thought about how much he was enjoying the slow, gentle steps their physical relationship was taking.

Their orders arrived and Bella started on her salad while Edward pretended to sip his coffee. He knew from experience that while coffee smelt tolerable, it tasted like water from a ditch. Sometimes though, he liked the warmth that came from holding the cup between his hands.

But he almost dropped the cup a moment later when Mandy walked in with another girl that Edward hadn't met yet...and Mandy formally introduced him to Sascha as Bella's boyfriend.

He could barely form the words to say hello and simply sat, smiling, reveling in his new official title.

_Bella's boyfriend._

After Mandy and Sascha moved away to another table Edward realised that Bella was looking just a little wary. She bit her lip and he knew she was hesitating, but when she spoke she was direct and open.

"Was that okay? What Mandy said? You looked a bit surprised."

Edward didn't answer right away. Instead he smiled, lifted her hand to his lips and Bella gasped softly when he kissed her knuckles.

"I guess that makes you my girlfriend."

Bella smiled then rolled her eyes. "We sound like we're fourteen," she muttered, but the blush that stained her cheeks was lovely.

"What are you doing this afternoon?" Edward was still smiling and still holding her hand.

"I finish classes at four and I'm not working tonight," Bella answered.

"And your paper?"

"I only have the conclusion left to finish."

Edward thought this was all excellent news as he sifted through the dozen or so different ideas that sat idling in his mind, ready for action.

"Would you like to go out somewhere?"

"Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"The museum."

By the way her eyebrows shot up, Bella clearly wasn't expecting that.

"It's not what you think," Edward chuckled. "No igneous rock samples or dusty dinosaur bones."

"What then?" Bella giggled.

"Mm…let me surprise you."

The waitress cleared their table and as they got ready to leave Edward held Bella's chair for her and she smiled and thanked him quietly. When they got to the door she stood back and waited for him to open it for her. And Edward was thrilled.

"Where are you headed now?" she asked. He mentioned the appointment at the bank and Bella wrinkled her nose.

"It's a pain having to transfer banks and change accounts. I had to do all that too when I moved here. I guess there are just some things you can't do on-line, though."

"You're right," Edward agreed and wrapped his arm around her waist as they began to walk across the green campus lawns. "There are some things you can't do on-line."

-0-

Edward slid his driver's license across the wide walnut desk.

Ms Harrop studied it carefully and compared it against the paperwork in the file that lay open in front of her. After a moment she pushed the ID back across the desk and gave Edward a formal sort of smile.

"Thank you Mr Masen."

Edward stowed the license back in its place between two others in his wallet.

"This safety deposit box has come to you as part of an inheritance?"

"Yes."

She nodded and smiled again. "Come with me please." So Edward stood as she did and he followed her out of her office.

The wall of safety deposit boxes was much as Edward remembered it. He took his box from its place and Ms Harrop guided him to a small, private wood-panelled viewing room, leaving him alone with instructions to press the red button by the door when he was finished.

Edward sat for a long time, thinking and staring at the box on the table in front of him. All too clearly he could remember that day in November 1920 when he'd come here with Carlisle to lock away the last little piece of Edward Masen.

That day had been different. Back then Edward hadn't wanted to think about what he was doing. It had felt too much like grief. He had moved quickly, taking barely a second to enter the room and store the envelope in the box. Carlisle had had to stop him rushing out again. Humans would take more time, he had explained to Edward. So Edward had stood by the door, his back to the room, clenching his fists over and over and counting the flecks of dust that floated in front of his eyes, until Carlisle had said they could go.

But now, eighty seven years later, Edward was taking his time. When at last his long fingers reached for the box, he opened it slowly.

Then he stared at the long white vellum envelope with _Birth Certificate _inked in black across the front.

The handwriting was heavily slanted with curves and flourishes. It was _his_ writing, but he hadn't written like that for a long time. Like his hair and his clothes and even his language, Edward's handwriting had had to change with the times.

He lifted the envelope from the box. He traced his fingers over the ink, feeling the indentations he'd made nearly a hundred years before.

He smiled slowly when he realised this wasn't as confronting as he'd thought it could be. Because he had changed, along with his handwriting, his hair and his clothes. He wasn't the same man he'd been when he was last at this bank. He wasn't the same man he'd been two years ago. He wasn't even the same man he'd been _two weeks ago._

He slipped the envelope into the breast pocket of his jacket and pressed the red button. A minute later he was following Ms Harrop out of the secure area while she made polite conversation about the weather.

"It looks like it's starting to clear. Well, it's stopped raining at least. It should be a nice afternoon. Do you have plans?"

Edward smiled as he answered. "I do. I have a date with my girlfriend."

-0-

"Oh, Edward…this is just…" Bella could barely find the words.

"It's not quite _Wuthering Heights,_" Edward said apologetically, but Bella was entranced.

"I like _Jane Eyre,_ too," she whispered as she leant over the display case. Her nose almost touched the glass.

They were in a large archive room on the top floor of the museum. Edward had brought Bella to see a special exhibition of historical manuscripts that were on display, and which included, amongst other things, some pages of the original draft of _Jane Eyre_ by Charlotte Bronte_._

"Look at all the notes she made in the margins. And the scratchings."

Edward was delighted by Bella's excitement, but he was delighted with something else too.

This afternoon Bella was wearing a skirt.

And while she examined the document, Edward examined her legs.

He'd never seen them before.

Earlier, when she had opened her apartment door to his knock, he could barely stop himself from staring openly.

But he did.

Instead he'd just taken surreptitious glances as he'd helped her into the car, and every time he'd changed gear, and as she'd walked up the front steps of the museum ahead of him.

Now, his eyes drifted along the length of the skirt, noting how it fell gracefully over the curve of her backside. It was floaty and ended around her knees. It swished when she walked. He could see the outline of her thighs through the fabric. As she leant over the display case the hem rose up and clearly exposed the backs of Bella's knees and just a little bit more.

It was the sexiest thing Edward had ever seen.

"Amazing," Bella mumbled, her eyes devouring the fragile, yellowed pieces of paper.

"Mm, amazing," Edward mumbled back, his eyes devouring Bella's smooth, slender legs.

"It's just incredible. Oh, I wish I could touch."

"Yes." He breathed a long, soft, appreciative sigh he didn't think she would hear.

But she did.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" He looked up sharply and she was watching him.

"Are we talking about the same thing?"

"_Jane Eyre_?"

Bella's eyes narrowed just slightly as the corner of her mouth turned up in a knowing smile. Edward wasn't sure if he was busted, it felt like he was, but Bella said nothing. Instead she wrapped her arms around his middle.

"This is fantastic, thank you."

"You're very welcome." He curled his arms around her, letting his hands rest on the small of her back. He rubbed small circles there with his palms.

"How did you know this was here? I haven't heard about it."

"I was reading the newspaper on-line this morning. The exhibition was mentioned in the Arts and Culture section."

It was a small exhibition, on loan from a private collector and only on show for a handful of weeks. It didn't seem to be drawing much interest – apart from a guard that hovered near the entrance, he and Bella had the manuscripts to themselves.

"And you thought I'd like it?" she whispered.

"I thought you might," he whispered back.

"You were right."

She reached up and kissed his cheek and he smiled down at her.

"Come on," he took her hand. "They're closing soon and you don't want to miss DH Lawrence or Jane Austen."

"There's an Austen manuscript?"

"There is," Edward grinned. "With alterations and changes." He led her towards a case at the back of the room. As he walked he looked over his shoulder. "Did you know that Mr Darcy was originally going to be called Mr Higginbottom?"

Bella laughed. "He was not," she declared and Edward grinned again.

"No, perhaps not."

They stood in front of the display case, arms around each other, heads touching as they stared at the flimsy, fragile pages under the glass.

"It's the first pages of _Pride and Prejudice_," Bella whispered, awestruck. "How do people get hold of these things?"

"Auctions, mostly."

Her lips began moving slightly as she silently read the opening lines of one of her favourite pieces of literature.

She looked so lovely, completely enthralled in what she was looking at, and Edward couldn't help the joy he felt that he had made her so happy. He lowered his face and nudged his nose affectionately against her cheek. His lips pressed there gently in a single kiss.

"Mr Cullen," Bella giggled. "Elizabeth Bennett would never approve."

Edward smiled against her cheek as he closed his eyes. "Oh, I think she would."

-0-

Unfortunately, the next few days were not so free and relaxed for Bella.

She had work, and her paper to finish, but she and Edward found little pockets of time to be together.

He would drive her to her classes and pick her up again afterwards. They would talk, holding hands over the console, and for the duration of the journey the world around them would fall away and it would be just them.

On one such drive Edward decided to ask Bella how she became interested in anthropology.

She laughed. "That would be because the radio in my car was broken."

Edward was instantly intrigued.

"This should be good," he smirked. "Go on."

She told him about driving to work in Port Angeles and how her car stereo could only get one station – an arts and culture station. There were road works one day, the drive was long and slow and Bella had been bored. She had turned the stereo on and listened to a professor of anthropology being interviewed about his new book.

"He was talking about myths and traditions and the way he talked about it just grabbed me. I was fascinated and I started borrowing books from the library and it went from there." She shrugged and looked out the window. "I guess if I hadn't heard him that day I'd probably be in sunny Florida studying teaching right now."

Edward's hand that held Bella's stayed relaxed and gentle as his thumb stroked tenderly over her skin.

His other hand left grooves in the steering wheel.

The thought that finding each other again had been so tenuous, so fragile, was disturbing. Had it all just come down to a broken stereo on a boring drive?

He lifted Bella's hand to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles, then settled their hands back down – this time on his leg. He stared straight ahead at the road.

"Do you miss the sun?"

Bella gave his hand a squeeze. "No."

Each night Edward would come over while Bella cooked herself dinner.

Though her budget was small and time was sometimes scarce Bella had always tried not to succumb to cheap, quickie student meals like rice or pasta topped with grated cheese and a dollop of ketchup.

Edward would sit on the counter beside the sink, handing her utensils and ingredients as she asked for them, and stirring whenever he was called upon. Once he was asked to add salt. Another time he cracked eggs into a bowl.

He couldn't put his finger on why, but helping Bella to prepare her food felt very intimate, and special, to Edward.

Sometimes they talked and laughed and once he told her jokes. Sometimes they were quiet, just enjoying the peace and contentment that seemed to be mutual and came from simply being together.

Edward enjoyed these times very much. Cooking was a mystery for him, something he had never done, even as a human, when his meals had appeared like magic on the dining room table. He liked watching Bella move so confidently around her small kitchen; the little pucker in her forehead as she concentrated; the way her lips pursed when she'd sample a taste from the wooden spoon.

But there were other things, too.

They might have agreed to take things slowly, but as the days progressed Edward realised they were both finding other, subtle, ways to express and indulge the desires they clearly felt for each other.

On Wednesday night Bella held up her finger, covered with pasta sauce, and asked him what he thought. Edward didn't take her finger into his mouth, but he held her wrist gently as he leant in and carefully swirled his tongue over her skin, stroking up one side of her finger and down the other, as he slowly licked off the sauce.

His eyes stayed on hers the whole time.

While his body tightened and strained, Bella's eyes darkened, her lips fell open and he heard her heart nearly beat its way through her chest. He knew the spoon in her other hand was trembling.

When Edward kissed the tip of her finger and let go of her wrist she asked him, a little shakily, what he thought of the flavour.

His voice was very hoarse as he told her it tasted good.

Edward wondered later if Bella would ever notice the grooves his other hand had left underneath the edge of the counter.

-0-

Bella was working till ten o'clock on Thursday night and Edward didn't expect to see her until the next day, so he was surprised when she knocked on his door a little before ten-thirty.

She seemed restless, he thought, as she smiled and asked if she could come in, but only if he wasn't busy and if it wasn't too late.

"It's not too late," he said and held the door open wide.

"You're sitting in the dark?"

He had been. He didn't need artificial light to see at night so as he'd lain on the sofa, reading and composing music in his head while the light faded, he hadn't bothered or even thought, to turn on a light.

He said nothing though, just smiled and switched on the lamp by the sofa. A warm, subdued light flooded the room.

Bella made no move to touch him. She tucked her hair behind her ears. When she hugged herself Edward knew something was wrong.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine." She smiled but it wasn't real. "I just didn't feel like going home yet." She reached out to take his hand and her fingers were cold, almost as cold as his.

Edward cocked his head, trying to get a reading on what she was thinking. Or feeling.

She was still standing, she'd made no move to sit down which was unusual because these days she would come in and flop on the sofa as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

But not tonight.

"Can I get you something?"

She shook her head. She bit her lip. Her eyes filled with tears and Edward realised, with shock, that she was about to cry.

"Bella?"

Edward had never had to comfort anyone before.

Not properly.

There had been some occasions with his family when he had offered support or spoken encouraging words. He had put his hand on Emmett's shoulder, he had put his arm around Alice, but he had never held anyone as they'd cried.

But that's what he did now.

Instinctively, he opened his arms wide and Bella immediately stepped into his embrace.

"Are you hurt?" Edward whispered the fear that was now uppermost in his mind and he was relieved when Bella shook her head, no.

He sank into the sofa but kept her close, pulling her into his lap and cradling her gently there.

Questions tore through his mind - had she had bad news; was her father alright; her mother; did she feel sick; had something happened at work, or to one of her friends?

He tried to quell the worry, the fear and anger that were rising in him at the thought of something, or someone, upsetting Bella.

But he stayed silent and waited, because he knew his anger and fear held no place here, not at this moment.

So he held her close. And he let her cry.

She didn't cry very hard or for very long. It was only a little while before she lifted her head and sniffed.

Edward pushed some damp strands of hair off her cheeks. He lowered his head so their eyes met.

"Tell me?"

She gave a weak, sheepish smile. "I'm really sorry, Edward. I'm being silly."

"No," he said softly. "Don't say that."

She took a deep breath, slowly, in and out. She wiped the backs of her hands over her face and Edward cursed the fact he had no tissues or handkerchief to give her. So he offered her the corner of his shirt instead.

She thanked him, wiped the linen across her cheeks and took another deep breath.

"Mr MacInerney died."

Immediately Edward understood. She'd mentioned Mr MacInerney on Saturday when he had asked her about her work.

"He was the man who said whatever he thought?"

Bella nodded. "He was ninety six," she said. "And he was ready to go. He _wanted _to go. Every time I saw him he said he hoped it would be the last..." she paused to blink her eyes and make fresh use of Edward's shirt. "I don't know why I'm crying."

Edward ran his hand gently over her back. "Because you liked him."

Bella nodded. "I did. We talked sometimes when I'd bring him his tea."

She leant back against Edward again and he wrapped his arms around her once more.

He wondered if he should say something and he went over the things people would usually say in a situation like this - things like ninety six being a good age, or that it was Mr MacInerney's time and he would be at peace now.

"I'm sorry your friend died."

"Thanks."

Edward felt her body begin to relax and almost melt in to him. His shirt was thin, he worried that she would be cold, but she seemed comfortable and her own sweater was thick.

And he didn't want to move her right now.

So he just let her be.

"I think it was the blue box that really got to me," she said after a moment.

"The blue box?"

Bella nodded. "When a resident dies the staff pack up their room and all their belongings go in these blue boxes for the family to go through." Her breath shuddered a little. "It's like their whole life just comes down to a _blue plastic box_. It's really sad." She sat up now, frowning. "The box was sitting on the bed this afternoon when I took him his cup of tea. He'd died last night but I didn't know. Not until I saw the box." Bella looked down and began picking at her thumbnail. "Nearly a hundred years and _just one box_."

Edward put his hand over hers, stilling her fingers.

"What was in his box?" he asked softly. "If he chose to keep only a few things they must have been important."

Edward had chosen his words carefully.

As someone who had lived a very long time he knew it was only the important things that a person held on to. Over the years he had had many possessions, lots of different gadgets, contraptions and appliances that he had bought and then discarded as trends changed and technology advanced.

But the things he _kept_ with him, the things that really mattered, Edward knew would barely fill a shoebox.

To Bella, _just one box_ seemed sad, but Edward knew it didn't have to be.

Her eyes were on him now, deep and thoughtful, and he could see she was mulling over what he had just said.

"An ashtray" she smiled softly. "It was one of those old heavy ones with pictures of Niagara Falls around the edges."

Edward thought of Rose and Emmett. He smiled and stroked Bella's cheek. Her eyes closed and she leant into his touch.

"So, maybe a honeymoon souvenir?" he suggested.

"I think so," Bella agreed. "I couldn't really see everything in the box, but there were the photos of his family that he'd had around his room, I could see them. Oh, and his jitterbug trophy."

"Jitterbug? So he liked dancing?"

Bella nodded again. "That's how he met his wife, in the dance competition."

Edward smiled as she nestled back against him. He folded his arms around her once more.

"Sounds like he had the important things covered then," he mused and Bella smiled against him.

"Yeah, I guess he did." Then she gave a soft laugh. "I told him I couldn't dance and he said that was only because I'd never tried it with someone who knew how."

Edward smiled. "That's a good point."

"He liked fifties music," she mused. "He said anything after that was crap."

Edward chuckled softly and so did Bella now.

"I'll miss him," she said.

She was quiet then, lying against Edward, cocooned in his arms. Her breathing matched his, their chests falling and rising as one.

There was a time when a something like this would have had Edward focused on Bella's own mortality. He would have tortured himself with unbearable thoughts of living in a world where she didn't exist.

But not now.

Instead Edward was focused on Bella _here and now_, and her need for comfort.

Edward bent his head to kiss the top of hers. She looked up and smiled and he tucked some errant hair over her shoulder.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi."

And then, as Edward stared into Bella's eyes, an idea came beckoning. He wasn't sure if it was appropriate, he worried for a moment that it could be insensitive, but something in him told him it was right.

"Wanna dance?"

Bella blinked.

"What? Now?"

"Yep. I even have fifties music."

She looked a little surprised and he was about to apologise for his insensitivity and tell her to forget he'd suggested it, but suddenly she was smiling.

"Okay, I'm game if you are."

"I'll risk it."

Edward selected a cd while Bella freshened up in the bathroom. He thought she looked much more herself when she came back into the living room.

"You've pushed back the furniture."

"Yep. And the rug." He extended his hand to her as the music began.

"Blue Suede Shoes?"

Edward nodded as she took his hand.

"But it's not Elvis?"

"Buddy Holly."

"Oh."

"Have you heard of him?"

"I have. But I didn't know he sang this." She was smiling. "It's good."

"Yes, it is. Are you ready?"

Edward took both her hands in his. He began a rhythmic rocking sway from side to side and Bella followed. Her eyes were fixed on Edward's bare feet, copying his simple movements. Then he spun her under his arm, slowly, so she could get the feel, and she grinned and laughed as he pulled her gently back against him and they began to rock and sway once more.

"This is great!" she giggled.

As _Blue Suede Shoes_ moved into _Oh Boy!_ Edward gradually added more moves - some shuffles, some kicks, some fancier spins. And he sped up the pace, and soon Bella was spinning and twirling and jiving as they moved easily around the room under Edward's expert lead.

"Ready for something more?" He winked as he spun her under his arm again.

"What?"

"This!"

Edward grabbed her around the waist, lifted her high above his head and then swept her downwards again, sliding her along the floor between his legs.

Bella squealed and laughed and clutched at him the whole way through.

And Edward was beaming.

By the time the cd finished Bella collapsed in a breathless heap onto the sofa that was pushed up against the wall.

"That was...so...much...fun."

"I know." Edward dropped, grinning, onto the sofa beside her.

"I never knew...that was fantastic!"

"See, you've been missing out."

Bella gave an emphatic shake of her head. "No. I absolutely couldn't have done that with anyone else."

Edward's grin could have lit up Chicago.

"And look at you..." Bella went on. "You're not even out of breath. Oh, I'd like to do that again."

She giggled some more and Edward's grin grew impossibly brighter.

"Now?" he asked.

Bella shook her head and laughed again. "No. I need to recover first. But where did you learn to dance like that? Did you have lessons?"

"Natural talent," he joked.

Bella smiled and her eyes softened and Edward felt like he was falling into them, drowning happily in their warm depths.

"Thank you," she said softly.

Edward gently nudged her cheek with his nose.

"Any time."

She pulled her legs up and curled against him and he wound his arms around her like before.

Bella turned her head and kissed him softly, twice, over his heart. He felt her breath flow through the thin linen of his shirt and wash over his skin. He bit his lip and tried to still the sensations that her touch brought. He swallowed hard, and then he spoke.

"That feels nice."

He felt her smile against him. He ran his hand through her hair, letting the soft strands fall through his fingers as he massaged her neck.

She sighed and it sounded blissful.

"What time do you finish tomorrow?" he whispered.

"Early." Edward could hear the smile in her voice that came from somewhere against his chest. "I hand my paper in at noon, I have a lecture after that and I'm free by two o'clock."

"Would you like to do something when you're done?"

Bella nodded and looked up at him.. "Is it another surprise?" she grinned.

"It is," Edward grinned back. "And you'll need to bring your camera."

-0-

Edward checked the sky again.

According to the frantic text he'd received just moments before from Alice, there had been a change in the weather and the cloud was on the move. There would be a short-lived burst of bright sunlight at two-fifteen.

It was ten minutes past two now.

Edward looked skyward again

"Is everything okay?" Bella asked. They were walking, hand in hand, across the campus to the street where Edward had parked his car. "You keep looking at the sky."

Edward thought he'd been discreet, but then, he knew how perceptive Bella was.

"Looks like the cloud is shifting," he said and quickened his pace just a little.

But Bella stopped.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked and he glanced upwards again.

Bella shook her head. "It's just a stupid thing," she said, smiling. "But I've just realised we've never been in the sun together."

Well, just give me a few minutes, Edward thought, and I'll be lit up like a disco ball at noon.

"No, we haven't," he smiled, and started walking again.

The car was up ahead. The first chink in the cloud cover was about to appear. Edward quickened his pace some more.

He knew this would be the problem with living in Chicago for any extended period of time. The city had enough cloudy days to be manageable, but it wasn't as manageable as Forks. And the weather was much more changeable. Edward knew many of his classes would have to be night classes.

The breeze blew a little stronger. The cloud thinned a little more.

"Piggy back?" he grinned at Bella suddenly. "Just for fun?"

"Piggy back? Here? Now?"

He nodded eagerly, his eyes shifting to the sky and back again so quickly that this time Bella didn't notice. He could already feel the temperature starting to quicken and warm.

"Um, okay, I suppose." She looked a little surprised, but when Edward cocked his head and gave her a lopsided smile she began to grin. "Yeah, why not?"

Edward crouched a little. Bella secured her bag over her shoulder and jumped on.

He tried to ignore the feeling of Bella's legs wrapped around his waist. Now wasn't the time.

"Comfy?"

"Yep, comfy."

"Hold on."

Edward ran.

Not fast enough to draw attention, but fast enough to outrun the sun. He helped Bella into the passenger seat as the first rays of sun broke through in the distance. His finger tips sparked as he slammed the driver's door shut.

He let out a breath and turned to Bella.

She was grinning at him. "Well that was fun. And different."

"I'm a different kind of guy."

She laughed. "I've noticed. Okay, so I have my camera," she held up her bag. "Surprise me."

They held hands as they drove over the border to Michigan.

Every now and then he would lift her hand to kiss. Or she would kiss his.

Edward flicked through the radio stations until he found one they both liked.

"You don't want to play a cd?" Bella asked and Edward shook his head.

"Sometimes I like the radio. You don't know what's coming next."

They stopped along the way to get something to eat and Bella didn't comment when Edward said he wasn't hungry.

They headed west, pulled off the main road onto a side road, and then from there onto a dirt track.

Edward stopped the car by an old fence. Nailed to it was a sign that said _no trespassing_.

"What are we doing? This is private property." Bella frowned at the sign.

"Do you trust me?"

"Well, yes," she admitted.

Edward grinned and climbed over the fence, holding out his hand to help Bella. Then he turned around and looked at her over his shoulder.

"Come on," he said. "Climb on."

"Another piggy back?"

"Yep, but this time there'll be trees and rocky ground, so you'll have to hold on tight."

For just a moment Bella looked unsure, but then she shrugged.

"Okay," she said and climbed onto his back.

This time Edward didn't run.

He carried Bella through the tress, mindful of low branches, and this time he let himself enjoy the feel of her wrapped around him. Of course, his feet glided smoothly over the ground so Bella never felt so much as a ripple.

She gasped when they came out of the trees at the top of a steep, sandy slope that overlooked Lake Michigan.

"Oh my, Edward...this is _beautiful_."

"I thought it might make for some good photographs as the light fades."

"_Brilliant_ photos," Bella whispered. "Edward this is...thank you. Thank you so much."

The light was low and it cast beautiful shadows of purple and gold across the sky and a soft, silver shimmer spread over the water.

At this time of day, with light like this, Edward was in no danger of exposure.

He set her down, grabbed her hand, and together they ran down the slope to the waters edge. Bella's hair flew out behind her. She was laughing and Edward thought the sight of her was far more beautiful than anything Lake Michigan and fading light could offer.

When they reached the flat of the sand he swept her up and spun her around, reveling in the moment and Bella's joy.

He let her go and grinned as she practically danced along the sand, checking out different angles and shots.

They kicked off their shoes and rolled up their jeans.

Bella photographed the light on the water and then the water splashing over some rocks. She tooks shots looking up towards the trees in the distance, she took shots along the shoreline. Logs, twigs, her own footprints in the sand. She took photographs of Edward; him kicking at the sand, standing on rocks, lying stretched out on a grassy patch. She photographed them together, sitting on a rock, holding the camera up and angling it to get both their heads in the frame.

Then he chased her along the beach, thrilling at the sound of her squeals, delighting in the splashes she aimed at him.

He scooped her into his arms, swung her high and then hugged her close.

She sighed as her feet touched the sand again.

"This is perfect."

"It is."

"Thank you."

"My pleasure."

They sat on the sand and watched the sky get darker.

Edward's knees were drawn up and Bella sat between his legs, her back against his chest.

"I can't believe it's only been a week since we had that walk in the park," she mused. "I guess it should feel like everything's moving too fast, but it doesn't. It just feels right." Her face coloured suddenly and she bit her lip and Edward knew she thought she might have said too much.

He twined their fingers and rested their hands across Bella's middle. "It does feel right," he whispered.

He kissed the back of her neck and she shivered.

"Cold?"

"No."

She nestled against him even deeper and Edward was glad he'd thought to wear his thickest sweater, even though, so far, the night was quite mild.

Their conversation drifted and ambled and then they fell quiet.

He thought back over the past five days and all the new things he'd discovered and learned about Bella.

And himself.

He still marveled at the way everything had seemed so natural between them, how they just seemed to fit together. Edward had even taken to wondering if they had been destined to be together, and if maybe Bella was the reason he had been spared in 1918.

He sighed and kissed her cheek. Then he trailed his lips back to that place beneath her ear he had discovered a few nights before. He pressed another kiss there and smiled when she gasped and shivered.

Then without turning, Bella reached up behind her and clasped her hand around the back of Edward's neck. She began tracing a slow pattern with her nails on his skin and he shivered now and dropped his head forward onto her shoulder.

"Mmm…" he hummed against her.

"You like that?"

"You know I do."

She giggled. "Yeah. I do."

Isabella Swan knew things about Edward that no-one else knew. Things that, until this week, he hadn't even known himself.

Like how sensitive the back of his neck was – just beneath the hairline.

A few stars began to appear and Edward rested his chin on Bella's shoulder. This was such a perfect afternoon, drifting into a perfect evening. Edward began wondering if he should tell Bella the truth about himself right now. And if he should also tell her he loved her.

It seemed like a good time...she was relaxed, he was sure she felt safe, it was quiet and they were alone.

More and more he thought this might actually be the moment. His heart, his instincts, told him so.

"Bella…"

She turned her head and looked up at him. Her eyes were peaceful, her smile was happy, contented.

And Edward closed his mouth again.

Flickers of fear and doubt began to cloud his heart.

He struggled.

Of course, if she accepted his revelation, and _him,_ then it would make this the greatest evening of Edward's very long life.

She had said this _felt right_, he knew she had feelings for him, he actually felt hopeful that he _would be _accepted.

But there were no guarantees.

And the possibility that she would reject him, the fear that his revelation would send her running and screaming, kept him quiet.

He wanted to keep this memory, of playing on the beach this afternoon, of sitting on the sand together watching the darkness fall, pure and untainted.

He _would_ give himself one more perfect memory.

He would be her boyfriend for one more night.

"Were you going to say something?" Bella was still watching him.

He smiled softly. "This week has been the best week I can remember."

"Me too," she smiled, and snuggled deeper against him. And they watched some more stars appear.

A little later Edward asked about Bella's plans for tomorrow.

"I know you have work and then Richard's concert in the evening, but I was wondering if afterwards we could get together? Just at my place. I thought we could talk."

"Talk?"

"Just talk."

Bella cocked her head a little. "Sounds mysterious."

"No," he shook his head. "No mysteries."

She studied him for a moment and he couldn't quite make out her expression. But then she smiled and nodded.

"I'd like that," she said.

He offered to drive her to the concert and pick her up again afterwards, but she declined because she was planning to go straight from work.

"I'll just take a change of clothes with me," she said. "But thank you."

She reached up to kiss his cheek. And then she yawned spectacularly.

And Edward laughed. The dark mood that had been tugging at him vanished now.

"Oh!" Bella's hand flew to her mouth. "I'm so sorry!"

"Am I boring you?" Edward teased her and she giggled.

"Just a bit," she teased back

"Really?"

"Uh huh." Bella gave a theatrical eye roll now. "You're incredibly boring, Edward."

"So sorry," he whispered.

"And dull."

"Dull too?"

"Absolutely."

"How do you stand spending time with me?"

"I have no idea."

He leant in close, his nose nudging her cheek. "So, dull _and _boring, you say?"

"Mm..."

"I should probably do something about that."

"You should."

He turned his face, brushing his lips along her jaw. Then he kissed her slowly in that spot beneath her ear.

He smiled as she gasped again.

"Um, so, tomorrow night," she said. "I'll be at your place about ten thirty? Is that okay?"

"Ten thirty is fine. I don't think I'm boring anyone else at that time."

He leant in and stroked his nose gently over her cheek, making tender circles as she sighed contentedly and closed her eyes.

Just one more night…

-0-

Edward was glad he wouldn't see Bella until late on Saturday, because it gave him time to prepare himself.

He'd been so busy through the week just trying to let Bella see who he was, that he hadn't given that much thought to what he would actually _say_ on Saturday.

Or how he would say it.

Would he sit or stand?

Would he stay close to her or keep his distance?

He thought it was probably a good idea to leave the front door open a little, just so she knew she had an easy exit, in case she felt she needed it.

Edward's heart sank at the thought.

He paced the house, much like he had that first day he had seen her across the road. He had wondered then if he should even approach her; now he wondered how to tell her the truth.

He prowled the living area; he did circuits of the kitchen, hall and empty dining room, trying different speeches, sounding them out. Speeches that started with the Spanish influenza. Or with his birth in 1901. But nothing satisfied.

He drifted upstairs.

He threw himself on his bed, letting the quilt fly up around him. His pillow split open from the impact with his head and feathers flew everywhere, covering him and the room. But Edward didn't notice, because he'd just realised with a jolt that he rarely used the word _vampire._

He usually used terms like _our kind,_ or, in the past, _monster._

Edward spent a few minutes thinking this through. He needed to get over his aversion to the word. If he wanted Bella to accept him then he had to accept himself.

And to a large degree he had.

Over the past two years, and the last week especially, Edward had realised that being a vampire didn't mean he was a monster. Monsters were the people he used to hunt down. Monsters preyed on the weak and innocent.

Edward wasn't a monster. He knew that now.

"Vampire."

He rolled his eyes at himself.

"Vampire covered with feathers," he muttered.

He sat up and shook some feathers from his hair and sighed.

Edward knew the word vampire conjured images of sharp-fanged creatures of the night who stalked the shadows - it was disheartening to know that that would probably the first thing Bella thought of when he told her.

He ran his tongue over his teeth and then shook his head, this time to clear his thoughts, not the feathers.

"Bella, I'm a vampire."

He wasn't planning to blurt it out quite like that, but he wanted to hear how it actually sounded out loud. "I'm a vampire. My family and I, we are all vampires." He shook his head again. More feathers drifted down into his lap.

On their own, without context, the words sounded ridiculous, almost like a joke. "I'm a vampire, Bella, but don't worry, I won't bite." He gave a dark, slightly anxious laugh that turned into a groan. He dropped back down on the flattened pillow, threw his arms over his face and wondered how the fuck he was going to do this.

By ten o'clock Edward was organised.

The envelope containing his photos sat on the coffee table.

The envelope with his birth certificate sat beneath it.

He knew exactly what he was going to say and how he was going to say it.

And he had repositiond the furniture a little.

He would sit in the chair on the far side of the room. He would offer Bella the chair closest to the front door, which was already standing open in practice, leaving her an easy escape route should she want it.

He had a jug of water and a glass ready on the coffee table.

Now he was just waiting.

At 10.45pm he heard the first siren.

At first he thought nothing of it. It was a common enough sound that merely registered in his brain.

At 10.47pm he heard the second siren.

At 10.48pm he began to get an uneasy feeling.

He walked outside to listen.

At 10.50pm his phone went off in his pocket and his knees buckled.

"Alice?"

"Edward, I'm sorry..."

"NO!"

He was already out the door and in his car, tearing away from the curb and towards the wailing sirens.

"What do you see?" he spat down the phone.

"She took a short cut, she thought it would be quicker. I'm so sorry, I was hunting, there was no phone reception, I couldn't call..."

"Where is she?"

"I'm not sure. Somewhere with lots of bars."

Edward's mind sorted through his knowledge of the city streets...bars, bars. He thought of the route from the theatre where the concert had been. He listened to the direction of the sirens.

"Carmine Street," he muttered. There was a row of bars along Carmine Street. "What happened?"

"I don't know. She changed her mind, she took the short cut and then, her car was sideswiped," Alice's words tumbled out.

Edward screwed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth.

"A drunk driver?"

"Possibly. But now nothing is clear, I'm just getting flickers and nothing stays long enough for me to see it properly."

Edward ran his second red light.

"Will you call me if you see anything else?"

"You know I will."

He threw the phone onto the passenger seat and slammed his hand against the steering wheel over and over and over. The steering wheel cracked and buckled with the force of his blows. He should have insisted on driving her to the concert and picking her up. He should have insisted.

The phone vibrated across the seat a second later.

"Carlisle?"

"Edward, I'm leaving Vermont now. I'll be with you as soon as I can."

Through his fear and panic and anger Edward felt a wave of gratitude.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

Edward arrived on Carmine Street just a moment later. There were two police cars.

And Bella's car.

With another car crushed up against it.

Though it wasn't physically possible, Edward thought he might be sick.

But he didn't have time to give in to how he felt, because the police officer's thoughts told him that Bella was alive but unconscious and on her way to hospital in the back of an ambulance. At the image of her, bloodied and still, in the officer's mind, Edward's body began to shake.

He broke every traffic law as he drove. And as he wove in and out of traffic and cut people off and ran more red lights, he prayed.

He prayed hard.

"Please God, please, please..."

It was like a mantra, falling from his lips, over and over as he drove.

"Please, please, please..."

It was Saturday night and the emergency department was busy.

Edward burst through the doors and went straight to the Admissions Clerk. There were two people ahead of him and he thought he would go mad as he waited for his turn. His fists clenched over and over deep in his pockets. His nails dug deep into his palms.

And when his turn came the Admissions Clerk told him she couldn't give out information unless he was next of kin.

"Please..." he begged. "Please."

The Clerk was about to repeat again the hospital policy but at the look of raw agony in Edward's eyes, she faltered.

And she searched Bella's name in the computer.

"I'm sorry, there's nothing here," she said a moment later. "But if your friend has only just come in it's possible she's not in the system yet."

Edward whispered a vague thank you and stepped aside so the person behind him could ask their question. He looked around him at the frantic emergency waiting room that was overflowing with people who all had their own problems; filled with the sounds and sights of grief and fear and pain.

And Edward was one of them - just one of many.

He didn't know what to do next.

He trawled the thoughts around him looking for signs of Bella.

Anything.

Just a glimpse of her, even the sight of someone reading or writing her name on a form...but there was nothing.

He stopped every passing doctor and nurse but no-one knew anything and each time he was directed back to the Admissions Clerk.

Edward had never felt so lost. Or alone.

Or angry.

He tore his hands frantically through his hair.

He paced.

He wanted to smash something.

Or someone.

Preferably the drunk driver who'd sideswiped Bella's car. His vision began to haze as fury built and raged inside him. And the smell of adrenalin and fresh blood that saturated the air around him wasn't helping.

Edward knew he had to get a grip. For Bella.

He forced himself to walk outside and take some deep breaths. He looked skyward and pulled the chill night air deep into his lungs. There were no stars, he noticed.

When the haze began to fade he turned and walked back inside.

For a moment Edward considered just pushing through the doors of the emergency room and searching for Bella himself, but he knew the last thing he needed was to draw attention. He'd be no help to Bella if the police were called and he had to escape into the night alone.

He wanted to ask the Admissions Clerk if Bella was in the system yet but the line was six deep now.

A young nurse passed him and Edward stopped her. With great effort he gave her his best smile and asked if she could please help him locate Isabella Swan.

The girl was momentarily stunned.

"Um, sure, I could try and find out." She asked his name and then she hurried away and though Edward tried to follow her thoughts he lost them amongst so many others around him. And though he waited she didn't come back.

He had never felt so powerless.

He was just barely holding on, just barely holding back the panic that threatened to unravel and overwhelm him.

When his phone vibrated he snatched it from his pocket.

"Carlisle?" Edward didn't even wait for Carlisle to speak. "I can't find her and I'm going mad." His voice was tight and his words spilled out through gritted teeth. "I don't know where she is, there are too many thoughts and none of them are of her...I don't know what's happening...and..." He buried his head in his hand and his voice wavered and broke. "I didn't tell her I love her."

Edward shuddered now and slumped into a vacant plastic chair in a far corner of the waiting room. "And I never told her about me. I should have told her everything last night, it was the right time, I _should have_ told her..."

He thought of the words Bella had spoken just a week before..._you never know what's going to happen. _Edward realised now he should have seized the day.

"I should have trusted myself...but I didn't."

"Edward, you're talking like..." Carlisle stopped himself. When he spoke again his voice was sharp. "Where are you?"

"In the emergency waiting room."

"No, Edward, I mean, _where are you?_"

Edward rubbed his hand over his face.

"I'm _there,_ Carlisle. I'm back _there _again."

Without even looking Edward could _feel_ the presence of the old, original Cook County Hospital building that was right next door to the new, modern one where he sat now.

The room where he had effectively 'died' in 1918 was just a hundred feet away. The dread and foreboding that Edward had been ignoring since he'd arrived began to surface.

"Edward, it doesn't mean..."

"What if it does, Carlisle?" Edward's voice broke again. "What if she dies here like I was supposed to? Like my parents did." He pulled on his hair and though some of the strands came free in his fingers he didn't even feel it.

"Edward, we don't know..."

"_What if she's bleeding out somewhere and I can't save her in time?"_

There was silence as Edward's words hung in the air.

"Are you saying you'd change her?"

"I don't know," Edward snapped. He rubbed his hand over his face again. "I...yes." His voice shook now and so did his body. "I would change her...if that's what she wanted."

Edward could sense Carlisle's shock, even through the phone.

"Mr Cullen?"

The young nurse had come back after all. Her voice cut through Edward's thoughts and all the other sounds around him and he looked up as she approached.

"Mr Cullen? Edward? I think I've found her."

**A/N: So very sorry for the stupidly long wait on this one. I had a lot less writing time over the last few weeks and I thank you for your patience.**

**Huge hugs and thank you's to Edward's Eternal, Supa-Beta. ****And to icrodriguez for 'Edward chats' and ltlerthqak** **who knows things about Chicago hospitals and Lake Michigan.**

**This story, and my other stories too, have been nominated for Shimmer Awards. I'm just blown away by that and am very grateful to the person/people who nominated me. I truly appreciate it.**

**Thank you also to all of you who read, and review, and send messages. I love to hear from you and thank you to the people who've written to me with solutions for my 'review reply' problem. I'm all sorted now :)**

**And thank you very much to the people who have been recommending this story - I appreciate your support more than I can say.**

**Cheers :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**If I tell you this chapter is over 17,000 words long will it make up for the stupidly long time it's taken me to get it to you? So sorry it took so long.**

**In the last chapter we left Edward in the ER waiting room**_, _**desperate for news of Bella.**

-0-

In a dimly lit room on the top floor of the hospital, Edward sat, still and silent, hunched over a narrow bed.

He held Bella's hand in his.

She seemed so small and pale against the white sheets. And fragile. The most breakable thing in the world. Edward was almost too scared to touch her.

Her hand lay limp and cool across his open palm. His thumb stroked gently over the backs of her fingers, so softly he barely made contact.

Her heart fluttered a little and it registered on the monitor that stood beeping quietly in the corner.

There were some stray hairs sticking out from beneath the bandage that covered her head. Very carefully, Edward brushed them away from her face. The strands were still caked with blood and left a faint, rusty stain on his fingers. But Edward barely noticed.

Her heart fluttered again.

"I'm here," he whispered, just in case she could hear him. Then he sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. It had been a very long evening and now, in the dark stillness, he thought back over the last hours.

When the nurse in the waiting room had told him that she had located Bella in the emergency room Edward's world had stopped. He'd watched the nurse's lips forming words, spinning the official hospital line..._her condition is serious but the doctors are with her now_. _We'll update you as soon as we know something more_...while Edward invaded her mind and stampeded through her thoughts. Unfortunately, there was nothing there to help him. It seemed the nurse hadn't actually seen Bella, but had just spoken to one of the doctors treating her.

So Edward had been left to take a seat and wait some more.

But he hadn't taken a seat. He'd paced, shoulders hunched, head bowed, pulling his fingers desperately through his hair and rubbing his hands over his face.

And as he'd paced he'd kept a very careful focus on the nurse's thoughts. He'd clung to them, following her through the cacophony of other thoughts as she'd re-entered the ER, and then used them to springboard from one mind to another until at last he had found Bella's doctor.

And Bella.

Edward had gasped and groaned. There had been so much blood. Her hair had been thick with it. It had stained her face and throat. Edward had begun to shake and he'd leant against the pale green wall and dropped his head into his hands.

He had watched the pull and tug of every suture, the click of every staple; the realignment of her bones; the bedside x-rays and scans.

He had watched her float in and out of consciousness.

He'd nearly sobbed when she'd whimpered and tried to pull away from probing fingers.

He'd torn at his hair. He'd chewed on his lip. He'd cracked his knuckles against his palm over and over again.

But all the time his body had been ready and on alert, in case things took a turn for the worse. Because he knew that they could and he knew now what he'd do if they did.

And when her heart had suddenly gone into arrhythmia he'd panicked and bolted to the doors of the ER, chanting _please God, no, _wondering if this was it, was this the time, and watching in his mind as the doctors reacted immediately and treated accordingly. When her heart rate had slowed and slipped back into its normal rhythm he had slid down the wall and crumpled onto the floor in front of the ER doors. He'd stayed there with his head in his hands until someone asked him to move or they'd have to call Security.

Slowly he had stood and dragged himself to an empty seat and slumped there next to an elderly woman who had given him a sympathetic smile and a gentle pat on the arm.

His body had stayed on that seat, his head in his hands as he leant his elbows on his knees, but his mind had still been in the ER with Bella.

When her condition had finally, officially, been downgraded from serious to stable, Edward had breathed a heavy sigh of near relief.

Another, different, nurse had approached him soon after.

"You're here for Ms Swan?" Her voice had been compassionate as her thoughts noted just how disheveled and distressed Edward looked. She had sat beside him and told him that Bella was stable now, wouldn't need the ICU, and would be moved out of the ER as soon as a bed was available in one of the shared rooms.

"What about a private room?"

"I don't think Ms Swan's insurance covers..."

Edward had shaken his head. "The insurance doesn't matter. I'll take care of the cost."

And now, in that private room, Edward closed his eyes and rested his head on the bed beside Bella's arm. He listened to the sound that was his whole world.

Her heartbeat.

His lip began to tremble and he bit it hard.

She wasn't just his life.

She was his salvation.

And he had nearly lost her.

His eyes screwed shut against even the thought of it. His breath shuddered deep in his chest. His face contorted as he thought of the sick irony if she had died here, in the same hospital where he almost had.

But she hadn't died. She was alive. He gave her hand a tiny squeeze.

It had been a shock when he'd realised that he would change Bella if it meant saving her. The realisation had hit him quickly, and hard, and in the panic of the waiting room he'd had little time to consider what it meant.

But now, in the stillness of Bella's hospital room, with her beside him and out of danger, the deep, profound understanding that he wanted forever came quietly and completely.

He began to wonder if their story had really started here, in this hospital, in 1918.

_Edward? May I come in?_

A second later Edward felt Carlisle's comforting hand on his shoulder. Edward stood immediately and embraced Carlisle tightly, anxious for much needed comfort.

"Thank you," Edward whispered. "Thank you."

"I wouldn't let you go through this alone, son."

"I know. And I'm grateful."

Carlisle smiled as they parted. "Esme sends her love," he said. "And the others too. They're waiting anxiously for news."

"Has Alice seen...?"

"Just flickers, nothing concrete."

Edward nodded. Carlisle turned to Bella as Edward resumed his place at her side.

"How is she?" Carlisle placed a gentle hand on Bella's forehead.

"She's been better, " Edward said wryly. "But given the situation..."

Carlisle nodded as he moved to the end of the bed and lifted Bella's chart.

"Her obs are all very good."

"I know."

"Concussion, lacerations to the head. Dislocated shoulder and elbow. Seems like the air bag and the seatbelt did their jobs. And the paramedics got the blood loss under control good and early, she didn't need a transfusion."

"Her heart went into arrhythmia."

"I see that," Carlisle nodded as he studied Bella's notes. "But you know that can happen after trauma and it responded immediately to treatment. And you can hear it now...strong and regular. Listen to her heart, Edward."

Edward smiled a very small smile. "I've been listening to nothing else."

Carlisle replaced the chart.

The air conditioning dropped a degree and Edward carefully pulled Bella's sheet a little higher as Carlisle watched.

"How are _you_, son?"

Edward shook his head and stared towards the window. "I don't know."

Carlisle said nothing. He simply waited and a moment later Edward began to talk.

"I can remember it was dark when you took me. I can remember that. I didn't understand, and it felt like I was flying...out across the hospital roof." He stared at the shadowy form of the old Cook County Hospital, looking into the past. "I'd thought I'd died." His eyes dropped back to Bella's hand in his. "And tonight I thought..." Edward bit his lip hard and shook his head. "I can't get past the fear," he hissed. "Even now."

Carlisle frowned. He pulled up the spare visitor chair.

"Fear of losing Bella?"

Edward nodded. His eyes closed as he spoke. "I've never known fear like that...like standing on the edge of oblivion, waiting to fall. And the whole time the doctors were treating her I was watching through their thoughts, and thinking what I would do if things went badly, planning how I would save her. How would I get her out, where would I take her...would there _even be time_ to take her away? Or what if her heart stopped and I _couldn't _save her." Edward's voice broke and he let his head drop back on his shoulders. "And it was _difficult,_" he understated, "not knowing if it was something she would want but realising I would do it anyway." He sighed and brought his head forward again. "I'm not as noble as I thought I was." His thumb stroked over Bella's fingers slowly.

"What changed?" Carlisle's quiet voice broke the silence. "What made you decide you would change her? Was it that fear?"

"Not just that." Edward answered slowly as he thought. "I left Forks to keep her safe. I've spent two years being noble and self-righteous about her soul and her safety, but I'd never _really_ thought ahead to a time when she didn't exist. And then tonight, when I was faced with that possibility, there I was, planning to do the thing I'd spent two years fighting against." He sighed again. "I guess I know now - a human lifetime won't be enough."

Carlisle tensed slightly. "You're saying your existence is dependent on hers?"

"I know that I wouldn't be able to live in a world without Bella in it."

Edward's words hung heavily between them, his meaning unspoken but still frighteningly clear.

"Then I pray it doesn't come to that," Carlisle said quietly.

Edward nodded once, acknowledging Carlisle's feelings but offering no guarantees. The monitor beeped quietly in the corner, reflecting the solid, steady beat of Bella's heart.

_What about her soul?_ Carlisle's thoughts came softly, gently. _If you change her?_

Edward gave a very small smile. "Bella would keep her soul," he whispered. "I know that now, too."

Carlisle's face registered surprise. And hope.

"And..._your_ soul?" he asked hesitantly.

Edward threaded his fingers carefully through Bella's.

"I've found mine."

Carlisle didn't speak but he reached out and covered Edward's free hand with his and Edward could read the powerful relief in his thoughts.

"I have never regretted changing you," Carlisle said. "But I know there have been times when you wished that I hadn't. And sometimes I've wondered if perhaps you were too young, but now..."

When Carlisle paused and even his thoughts were silent, Edward turned to him. "But now?" he prompted gently.

Carlisle smiled slowly, warmly. "The changes in you Edward, _seeing _how you are with Bella, just the way you hold her hand, I believe now that I made the right decision that night."

Edward smiled and looked back at Bella's hand.

"I believe you did too," he whispered.

"I look forward to meeting her," Carlisle said. "I have a lot to thank her for."

Bella shifted her head on the pillow. It was just a slight movement , but Edward was on his feet.

"Bella?"

But she was still again. Carlisle stood too and took note of Bella's heart and pulse and the rate of her breathing.

"Is that the first time she's done that?" he asked.

"Yes." Edward's eyes darted over Bella's face, searching anxiously for any sign that she was coming back to him.

"Bella? Carlisle, how long do you think before she wakes?"

"When she's ready, son."

Edward nodded and sat again. He lifted Bella's hand and kissed it, his lips brushing tenderly over her skin. The monitor registered the tiny flutter in her heart.

Carlisle smiled. "She knows you're here."

Edward kissed her hand again.

"I know."

-0-

Bella's eyes opened with the sun.

She blinked and frowned and looked around the room before her confused, sleepy gaze landed on an anxious Edward.

He sat perched on the edge of the chair beside her bed, unblinking, one hand loose around hers, and the other fisted, mid-pull, in his hair. He'd been that way for ten minutes now, ever since her heartbeat showed the first signs of waking and Carlisle had discreetly left to give them some privacy.

"Hi," he whispered and Bella blinked again. She frowned some more and then her eyes widened, first a little, then a lot. Her body went rigid and in the corner of the room the heart monitor went crazy.

"The car..." she croaked and recall flashed across her features. "It was on the wrong side..."

Edward let go of his hair quickly and ran his hand gently along her arm, back and forth.

"It's alright," he whispered. "It's alright. Everything will be alright." He wasn't sure what else to say, or do. He wanted desperatelyto wrap himself around her and hold her and let her know she was safe, but he was too scared he'd hurt her. But at his words, and his touch, Bella relaxed. Her heart calmed. But her eyes began to fill and a single tear slid down her cheek.

"You're here," she whispered and her lips curved in the softest of smiles.

Edward's anxious heart began to ease.

"I'm here," he said softly. "I won't leave." He lowered his head to kiss the back of her hand. "I won't leave."

He gave her a relieved, lopsided smile and wiped the tear away with his thumb. Then he nodded his head toward the heart monitor. "But if that hasn't already alerted anyone, we should probably let the nurse know you're awake."

The nurse was already on her way. She appeared a moment later with a doctor in tow and Edward was bustled from the room.

He hovered for a moment in the corridor, wondering about the ethics of listening in. But as the examination began Edward walked away, blocking the doctor's thoughts to give Bella some privacy. He would just read the updated chart later.

He stood by the tall window that overlooked the parking lot and pulled the phone from his pocket. He called Carlisle, who had gone back to the house, and then the rest of the family in Vermont.

There was relief all around.

Carlisle wanted to know how alert Bella was and what she could remember.

"She remembers the accident," Edward answered_. _"And she remembers me."

Carlisle chuckled. "I wouldn't have doubted that for a moment, son."

When Edward called Vermont Esme answered immediately and gasped when Edward told her the news that Bella was awake and alert and going to be alright.

"Oh, Edward, I'm so relieved. And you? Are you alright?"

"I am now."

"Oh, my boy, I wish I could hug you."

Suddenly Edward wished she could too, but her words wrapped around him just as warmly as her arms.

"Thanks, Mom," he whispered.

Jasper wanted to know if Edward was going to go after the driver of the other car.

"I thought about it," Edward admitted.

He shut his eyes as he remembered the dark plans that had stalked his thoughts at around three o'clock that morning.

"I know how I'd feel if it was Alice," Jasper said soberly. "If you want another pair of hands..."

Edward nodded. "I appreciate the offer," he said. "The bastard is on the floor below Bella's and thankfully he's in his own world of pain." Edward had tracked him through the thoughts of the nursing staff. "He wasn't wearing a seatbelt and the doctors don't think he'll walk again so with that and the criminal charges for DUI hanging over him I think I'll leave him alone for now. I just want to focus on Bella."

"If you change your mind..."

"I'll let you know."

Alice came on the line and she was uncharacteristically somber. She apologized again for not being able to get warning through in time.

"This isn't your fault, Alice."

She sighed a little. "I know..." she trailed off into silence. "But I'm still sorry."

Edward leant against the wall.

"Alice...?" he asked quietly. "The vision you saw back in Forks of Bella as one of us...have you ever seen that again?"

Alice was quiet and Edward held his breath as he waited. Then suddenly he changed his mind and spoke in a rush.

"No, don't. Either way, whatever you tell me will change how I am with her, and I don't want that."

There was movement from Bella's room and Edward's head snapped around in that direction.

"I have to go," he said. "The doctor's just finished the examination."

Dr Gambon had already gone when Edward tapped lightly on Bella's door.

"It's me, Edward," he called softly and peeked around the door. "Hi."

"Hi," Bella smiled. She looked brighter now, less groggy. Her pillows had been adjusted and she was sitting up a little. She held out her hand and immediately Edward took it. He settled himself back in the visitors chair by her bedside.

"You were here all night. The nurse said you wouldn't leave."

He shrugged a dismissive shoulder.

"You didn't have to..."

"Where else would I be?" He kissed her hand. "How do you feel?"

"My head hurts," she admitted and shrugged very gingerly.

"What did the doctor say?"

"She ran through the injury list - concussion, cuts, nothing I haven't had before." She tried to shrug again and stopped. "They'll repeat the scans in forty eight hours and if that's clear I can go home the day after."

"That's it?"

"Pretty much."

Edward knew there would have been more but he didn't press her - her summary sounded about right. He glanced towards the chart at the foot of her bed.

"Sounds like I've been lucky again," Bella yawned. "It could have been a lot worse."

It could have been a lot better, Edward thought, but he didn't comment.

"They called my dad," she frowned. "He'll be here as soon as he can."

"You don't want him to come?"

"I just don't want him to worry. Or my mom. He's probably called her, too. I can just imagine how she'll freak out." She shook her head. "Oh, and I missed our date!"

"There will be other dates," Edward said quickly. "Lots of them, I hope."

Bella chuckled softly and motioned to the white hospital gown she wore.

"Next time I'll make more of an effort to dress up." But then she frowned. "How did you know I was here?" she asked suddenly.

Edward hadn't anticipated that question, but of course she would wonder. His mind raced, searching for a feasible explanation, and when he found it he hated himself for telling her half-truths.

"I started to worry when you didn't come home. You didn't answer your phone, so I drove towards the theatre in case you'd broken down or something. And I saw your car..." He winced at the memory and Bella squeezed his hand.

"It happened really fast," she whispered. "But I could see the car coming, and I knew there was nothing I could do and in that last second, just before he hit me, I thought I was..." Her voice cracked, she shut her eyes and bit down into her lip and instantly Edward was out of his seat and easing himself very slowly on to the bed beside her. He folded her carefully in his arms, mindful of the wires and the drip tube, and she came eagerly.

"I thought I was..." she tried again, but her voice caught on a sob.

"Ssh," Edward soothed. "Ssh." He moved his hands gently over her back as she curled into him, and finally she got her words out.

"I thought I was never going to see you again."

Edward's hands stilled.

He had expected that in those last seconds before the crash Bella's thoughts would have been about herself and the possibility of dying...but they hadn't.

Instead, her thoughts had been of _him. _

His sweater darkened with her tears. Her body rocked softly with quiet sobs and Edward pulled her closer, bringing her into him as deeply as he could.

"I'm here," he choked out. "I'll always be here."

Bella's words stayed with Edward, settling in his heart with the many other treasures she'd given him, and in the days that followed he barely left her side.

He held her hand when she gave the police her statement.

He leant against the wall outside the x-ray room when she went for scans.

He even stayed with her when the nurse took blood from her arm. He had been going to wait in the corridor but when he saw Bella's face drain and discovered she hated needles and the smell of blood made her sick, he sank back into the visitors chair, gritted his teeth and took her hand. "Look at me," he whispered. And his steady, unflinching gaze held hers, comforting her, easing her, as her blood, rich and red, was pulled from her vein while he let the venom burn him.

He adjusted pillows, poured drinks of water and stayed close when she'd go for walks along the corridor. "I'm not an invalid, Edward," she'd smile at him as he'd hover at her elbow. And he'd smile back, sheepish and shy.

"I don't want you to fall."

"You'd catch me."

"I would."

"I know you would. That's why I let you walk with me," she teased.

And he met her father.

Charlie Swan's anxious thoughts preceded his arrival and when he came through the door his face was etched deep with worry for his daughter and anger for the drunk driver who had done this to her. His hesitant, awkward hugs spoke the love he struggled to say.

In almost one breath he asked how she was feeling, told her everything would be alright and that he'd been leaving messages for her mother but hadn't had any answers.

Bella told him she was fine, he shouldn't worry, agreed with him that everything would be alright, and said that her mother had probably let her phone run out of charge. Again.

At that, Charlie gave a rough sort of chuckle.

"That sounds about right," he said. He stepped back from the bed, rubbed his hand over his face, and it was then that he noticed Edward standing discreetly in the corner of the room.

"Edward Cullen?"

"Hello, sir." Edward squared his shoulders and came forward, hand outstretched. Charlie looked back and forth between them as he shook Edward's hand and Bella quickly explained their connection.

"You live across the street from each other? Really?"

"Yes, Dad."

He turned to Edward, eyebrows knitted. "And...and you're seeing each other?"

"Yes, sir."

Edward felt strangely nervous. In all his courtship plans he hadn't actually prepared for this. And he had no frame of reference for such an important meeting. But he knew if it had been 1918 there would have been protocol and etiquette and Sunday best. Suddenly Edward felt very aware of his jeans and sneakers and the Navy Annapolis hoodie that Alice hated.

And while Edward thought all this Charlie's mind wrestled with a father's discomfort at his daughter having a boyfriend, and then sifted through the memories he had of Edward from Forks...a quiet boy, mature, respectful, from a good family, never any trouble...

After a long moment or two Charlie nodded his head. "I guess it's good to see you again, Edward."

"You too, sir," Edward smiled and hoped his relief wasn't too glaringly obvious.

The conversation turned back to Bella then, and Charlie finally got through to Renee on the phone. Edward thought Bella seemed almost relieved when, after her mother's initial panic had been soothed and calmed, Renee said she didn't know if she could come to Chicago right away. It seemed she'd fractured her ankle just the day before as she'd claimed the sky diving prize she'd won in that radio competition about Roosevelt's dog.

"You're not serious!" Bella's relief vanished. "I told you to listen to the instructor. Are you okay? What happened? Didn't you land right?"

And Edward had to hide his surprise as he heard Renee explain that the sky diving was wonderful, but she'd tripped over the step as she'd gone to the café for a coffee afterwards.

"But I'm fine, honey, it's only a very small fracture...it's you I'm worried about. I'll be able to get there next week."

And Bella told her mother not to worry about coming, she'd be discharged in a couple of days anyway and back at school next week. "And Dad's here," she added.

But Renee wanted to know if Bella had someone to stay with when she went home.

"I think you need someone, just for a few days...just in case?"

Bella blushed and threw a quick, shy glance at Edward.

"Yeah, I think I have someone," she murmured.

During the two days that Charlie was in Chicago he spoke with the police about the charges against the other driver and sorted out Bella's insurance details. On the day Bella was discharged, after Charlie hugged her and said goodbye in her room, he pulled Edward aside in the corridor while his taxi waited to take him to the airport. Edward braced himself when he read Charlie's thoughts and realised what was waiting for him.

"Did you pay for that room?"

Edward knew enough about Chief Swan to understand that right now he needed to be up-front and honest.

"Yes."

Charlie's mind ran through memories of the Cullens' cars, their clothes, the rumours of wealth. He nodded and ran his hand over his chin.

"That's a lot of money. Was it yours or your father's?"

"Mine. And it's just the extra not covered by the insurance." Edward would have gladly paid for the room in its entirety, but as he'd filled out the paperwork he had anticipated that at some stage Bella would discover what he'd done and become...difficult. And he knew she'd probably insist on paying him back. He would refuse, of course, but he decided paying the gap was a compromise that, hopefully, would seem more acceptable to her.

"I'll pay you back," Charlie said.

"That's not necess..."

"I'll pay you back. Does Bella know?"

"It hasn't come up."

"Will you tell her if it does?"

"Yes."

Charlie nodded.

"Why did you do it?"

"Because the hospital was crowded and...because I care very much about your daughter." He held Charlie's gaze, letting the weight of his words sink in, letting Charlie feel their sincerity and see the truth in his eyes. "And because she would have had to wait for a shared room, and while she waited she could have ended up sharing a space with the drunk who put her in here."

Charlie's eyes narrowed and his body tensed at just the thought of that. Then he thought over Edward's words, and the quiet care and attention he'd seen him show Bella the past two days. Then he held out his hand.

"Thank you," he said.

Edward nodded and felt proud and pleased as Charlie quietly decided he had seen and heard enough of Edward Cullen to be comfortable leaving Bella in his care.

"My dad liked you," Bella smiled as Edward walked back into the room. She was sitting on the bed, bandages gone, dressed, wearing a baseball cap to hide the two spiky patches where her hair had been cut away in the ER. She was ready and eager to go home.

"I liked him too," Edward said and took her hand as he sat down on the bed beside her. "And I was wondering..." he began and then hesitated.

"What?"

He watched his thumb stroking gently over her wrist. "Well, I've met your dad, I was wondering... would you like to meet mine?"

Edward watched Bella's eyes widen and wondered what she would say.

"Is he here?" she asked. "In Chicago?"

Edward nodded and offered her a vague version of the truth. "He came to see how I was getting on here. He's heading back to Vermont today and..."

"Oh!" Bella's hand flew to her mouth. "And you've been _here, _with me all the time. Edward, I'm sorry, you should have said something, I would have understood..."

"No, no, it's okay," he soothed. "He wanted me to be with you. And I saw him each night after I was thrown out of here," he added with a smirk.

Bella giggled and Edward knew she was thinking of the night nurse who would tell him every evening that his _just five more minutes _was more like _five more hours_ and then stand back and point at the door.

"She'll be glad to see the back of you," Bella chuckled.

"Not at all, she'll miss my charming smile." And Edward flashed the smile that had earned him extra time each night. Bella laughed.

"Carlisle is waiting downstairs," Edward smiled again. "Would you like to say hello?"

"Sure," she said. "I'd like to say hello."

-0-

Carlisle was in the lobby, sitting in a chair by a potted palm. He stood up and smiled as soon as Bella and Edward came out of the elevator.

"Is that him?" Bella whispered.

"Yes."

Edward saw the fleeting flash of surprise in Bella's eyes, but that was to be expected - Carlisle was very handsome and didn't even look thirty.

As he guided Bella across the lobby Edward squared his shoulders.

As they stood before Carlisle he lifted his chin.

Then, he took a deep breath and looking at Bella, he smiled.

"Bella Swan," he said formally, "I'd like you to meet Carlisle Cullen. My father."

Carlisle said hello and offered his hand. Bella didn't even bat an eye as their skin touched and Edward spied the styrofoam cup full of steaming coffee that sat on the floor by the chair. It had obviously been warming his hands. Carlisle didn't want her to feel uneasy.

They sat in the seats beneath the palm and Edward was very quiet as his hand rested on Bella's knee, watching and listening, just absorbing this moment as his girlfriend and his father met.

After the initial small talk and enquiries about Bella's health Carlisle asked Bella about her time overseas. "I spent some time in Italy, too," he told her. "Though it was many years ago now." Conversation between them came easily as they shared their thoughts on Florence and Venice. And Bella teased Edward lightly, telling him he was very quiet for someone who usually had an opinion about everything, but her fingers gave his an affectionate squeeze and Edward smiled and squeezed back.

_She's lovely, Edward, bright, beautiful...and she certainly has your measure. And the way she looks at you, what I see in her eyes...you're a very lucky man, son. _

Edward smiled some more as Carlisle's thoughts came through. He hadn't thought he had imagined what he'd seen in Bella's eyes, but he welcomed the confirmation.

After a while there was a pause in the conversation and Carlisle stood.

"I should let you go home," he said. "It's been a very great pleasure to meet you, Bella. I hope you'll come and meet the rest of us in Vermont one day. You would be very welcome."

Bella blushed crimson and said thank you and then she waited by the potted palm while Edward walked his father to the parking lot.

At the black Mercedes they stopped and Carlisle took out his keys.

"She's lovely, Edward. And she's so at ease with you."

Edward pondered this for a brief second. "Sometimes I've wondered if she suspects."

Carlisle's eyebrows slowly lifted. "Have you?"

"I...I'm not sure though. She's been completely accepting of my coldness right from the start, hasn't questioned it, even in her expression. And she wondered once why she couldn't hear my heartbeat."

"What did you say?"

He ducked his head shyly. "I told her it was in there...I could feel it."

Carlisle nodded and Edward sunk his hands into his pockets. "I know she believes that most myths have some basis in fact, she's told me that." He smiled affectionately. "She believes in the Loch Ness Monster."

Carlisle smiled. "So it's not such a great leap to believe in you."

"Perhaps not," Edward shrugged. "Although I _am _real and the Loch Ness Monster isn't."

"So skeptical for one so mythical, Edward." Carlisle chuckled softly. "So you think the anthropology might have clued her in?"

"I don't know. Maybe. It's obvious that I'm different."

Carlisle considered this. "To be honest, Edward, I just thought her natural ease with you was because you're right for each other."

Edward grinned. "That had occurred to me, too."

"But would her studies really tell her what you are?" Carlisle wondered. "We don't have a lot in common with the traditional vampire myths, even if she _has_ researched them. I'd be surprised if, in just two weeks with you, she's made the jump from Count Dracula to Edward Cullen. Unless someone in Forks said something."

Edward shook his head. "No-one in Forks suspected. They just thought we were weird."

There was a small rivulet of water running over the black top, the left-overs from an earlier rain shower, and he interrupted its stream with the toe of his shoe.

"Charlie Swan is dating Sue Clearwater." He looked up at Carlisle. "Of the La Push Clearwaters."

"Oh? Do you think...?"

"I had thought she might have picked something up that way, but now I don't think so."

"Did she spend a lot of time there?"

"I asked her once, when she was talking about a Thanksgiving dinner at Sue's house. Apparently she's only been a few times with her father." Edward folded his arms across his chest. "And she was supposed to go to First Beach with a group of school friends once."

"She didn't go?"

Edward shook his head. "She pulled out at the last minute. Mike Newton's over-amorous attentions put her off." Edward remembered the boy's thoughts from those two biology lessons and scowled.

Carlisle nodded. "So I come back to my original point," he smiled.

Edward smiled back uncertainly and looked again at the water running past his shoe.

"Thank you for staying."

Carlisle gripped Edward's shoulder. _There's no need to thank me. _

"I'm proud of you, Edward," he said out loud. "The things you've done these last few days...the demons you've beaten..." His eyes wandered to the old Cook County hospital which stood next to the building where he'd just met Bella. His thoughts filled with the memory of a September dusk in 1918 when he held the sagging body of a dying boy in his arms.

"I was scared that night too," he confessed quietly.

Then he looked back at Edward and his thoughts filled with quiet pride once more._ To see you come so far..._

Edward ducked his head.

"Will you tell her soon?"

"Yes," Edward answered. "But the last few days have changed things, and there are things she's said..." he recalled Bella's fears of never seeing him again. "I've had to re-think what I'm going to say...but I want to tell her soon. Once she's recovered a bit more, when she's strong enough to be on her own."

"On her own?"

Edward gave a short, dark laugh. "In case she sends me away," he said. "And even if she doesn't, she might need time away from me to think."

Carlisle nodded.

"Well, I hope it won't be too long before you bring her to see us in Vermont."

Quietly, Edward hoped so too.

-0-

When Bella sank into her living room sofa she let out a long, contented sigh that made Edward smile.

"Good to be home?"

"So good," she grinned.

Edward pulled the coffee table close so she could put her feet up, and then he sat down beside her and asked if he could get her anything.

"A sandwich?" he suggested - he thought he could probably manage that. "Or a cup of tea? Cushion?"

She laughed and shook her head and told him what she really wanted, more than anything, was to wash her hair.

"Properly," she said. "In the shower, with shampoo and my fingers. I'm sick of just running a wet comb through it." She pulled off the baseball cap and felt her scalp gingerly where the staples had been removed and replaced with small adhesive strips just that morning. "The doctor said I can do it today if I'm careful."

Her fingers explored a little more and then her hand trailed down to her neck and the jagged pink line beneath her jaw where a piece of windshield had left its mark. She began to frown. "They say this one wasn't too deep," she said quietly. "It might not scar."

Edward's hand covered hers on her neck, his fingers sliding between hers and tracing gently over the mark.

His eyes told her she was beautiful.

He didn't speak, but he leant in close.

In the past few days Edward's touch had been all about comfort and care and support. His hugs and kisses had been affectionate and reassuring.

But this, _now,_ was different.

Very gently, Edward pressed his lips against Bella's neck, right where their fingers had been. His kiss lingered there, his lips lifting and pressing softly again. Bella's eyes closed as she tilted her head. Her heart picked up, her lips parted and Edward smiled against her skin. He kissed her one more time as he held their clasped hands on his thigh. Then he nudged her cheek softly with his nose.

Bella sighed and her eyes stayed closed.

"Should I leave while you take your shower?"

"Mm...huh?"

Edward smiled. "Should I leave while you take your shower?" He repeated his whisper.

"Oh." Bella's eyes opened and stared right into his. The blood rushed to the surface of her skin and she blinked at him a couple of times.

Edward didn't want to go. But he also wasn't sure what the situation called for. He didn't want to assume that Bella would be comfortable showering while he sat just a few feet away in the next room. He knew that in the hospital she always timed her showers for when he wasn't there.

"I can leave," he said. "And come back in a little while." He would just wait in the hallway outside, alert and ready in case she slipped and fell.

But it seemed that Bella didn't have a problem with him staying. Once his words had registered properly she actually rolled her eyes. And that made Edward smile.

"It's fine," she said. "You can stay. Unless there's something else..."

Edward shook his head. "There's nothing else," he said. "Go wash your hair. I'll bring the things in from the car."

He helped her to her feet and watched her walk to the bathroom. When she closed the door he let out a long, slow breath. He pulled both his hands through his hair.

He hadn't realised just how much he'd missed kissing her like that.

Then he grabbed his car keys out of his pocket and quickly headed downstairs.

Bella's friends had been shocked by her accident.

But they'd been quick to visit her, offering support and comfort.

And they'd been generous with gifts.

There were flowers and chocolates and teddy bears holding balloons that said _Get Well Soon_ and it took Edward two trips to the car before everything was inside Bella's apartment and taking up every flat surface available.

He could hear Bella moving around in the bathroom now. As he set the last bear down on the window sill the water started running. Bella was humming softly and then she let out a deep sigh as she stepped under the shower stream and the water danced and bounced over her skin.

Edward tried not to fit an image to the sounds and reminded himself she was recovering from an accident.

He chose a cd from the shelf and put it on and then he lay down on the sofa. His feet hung over the armrest at the end.

It had started raining outside and his eyes wandered from the ceiling where a tiny spider was spinning a web, to the glass of the window where rain drops landed and raced each other to the bottom of the pane. In front of the window, on the wooden sill, sat the bunch of sunflowers that had been a gift from Richard. He'd felt somehow responsible for Bella's injuries and when Edward saw him this time Richard's cockiness had been absent. They'd even shaken hands. Next to the flowers a purple bear smiled while the balloons it held were starting to droop. On the floor was the bag Mandy had brought with emergency toiletries and a change of clothes for which Bella had been beyond grateful.

On the coffee table were more bears with balloons from her co-workers at the nursing home, and flowers sent from old friends in Forks called Billy and Jacob. There was the pile of magazines Nicola had brought.

Over on the small space of kitchen counter were the flowers from Rex and Charlotte. Edward smiled as he remembered the couple's appearance in Bella's room and how everyone immediately noticed Rex's arm was curled affectionately around Charlotte's waist, while her fingers had lovingly traced the tattoos on the back of his hand.

Nicola had thrown her hands in the air. "At last!" she'd exclaimed. "When did this happen?"

"Nicola!" Mandy had scolded while Bella had grinned happily and Tom just looked confused and asked if he'd missed something.

Charlotte had given a shy smile. Rex had simply smiled too and shaken his head before tenderly kissing the top of Charlotte's. She barely came up to his shoulder.

"Details, please," Nicola had insisted but Rex's answer had been vague.

"We went for a walk yesterday," he'd shrugged and only Edward could see that under a tree by the waterfront, Rex had summoned his courage, taken Charlotte's small hand in his shaking one, and finally told her how he felt. Edward had quickly distracted himself from the rest of Rex's memories.

"Is that all we get?" Nicola had been aghast. "_You went for a walk_?"

"That's all you get," Rex had answered, smiling, pulling Charlotte even closer and kissing her again while everyone had laughed at Nicola's exaggerated pout.

It had been a light and happy moment in a very tense few days.

Now Edward rubbed his palms over his face, pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes.

His body and mind might never tire, but his emotions were something different and suddenly, at that moment, Edward felt as close to exhausted as a vampire could feel. So much had happened, there had been so much to think about, and worry about.

And he _still_ had to tell Bella the truth.

He'd told Carlisle he'd tell her soon...but how soon was too soon? She'd had enough shock and drama, he didn't want to add to it while she was still recovering.

He sighed and wished he'd told her Friday night on the beach as they'd sat talking, watching the stars. It had felt right that night and he knew now he should have trusted himself and gone with his instincts.

But he hadn't.

Because he wasn't used to trusting himself.

He was used to reading minds and seeing Alice's visions.

It had been a very long time since Edward had had to rely upon himself alone.

He ground his hands harder against his eyes.

He was determined he wouldn't repeat the same mistake he made on Friday night.

And he wouldn't make plans like he had before.

He wouldn't pick a time or date.

Instead, he would listen to his instincts, and he would tell Bella the truth when the time _felt right_.

Edward would trust himself.

Bella was singing quietly now and Edward smiled. He'd never heard her sing and even flat and off-key her voice was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever heard. Its sound filled him, eased him, and brought a peace that the Mozart coming from the cd player could never match – not in a thousand years.

As Bella's voice wrapped around him he let the past few days fall away. With every wobbly note another fear or worry faded and vanished.

With his new resolve in place he stopped thinking and planning and analyzing. Instead he gave himself to the sound. He closed his eyes and just let himself be.

And Aretha Franklin had never sounded so good.

When the shower stopped a few minutes later Edward didn't stir. He lay, still and quiet, eyes closed. He listened as Bella moved around, getting dressed, rubbing the towel over her hair. When the door opened and she came and stood by the sofa he opened his eyes.

"Hi," he smiled up at her.

"I thought you were asleep," she smiled back.

"Nope."

"You look sleepy."

"Do I?" Edward hadn't looked sleepy for almost a hundred years and his smile grew at the thought.

"You do," Bella grinned. "Your eyes are heavy, and you've got this really lazy half smile."

Somehow hee gave her an even lazier half smile and opened his arms.

"Come here," he whispered.

Bella leant into his embrace and he brought her down gently until she was lying beside him on the sofa.

"That's better," he sighed as she nestled into his arms. He grabbed the purple cashmere blanket which was folded over the back of the sofa and tucked it around her. "Are you comfortable?"

"Mm, very. You?"

"Very."

"I've missed this," she sighed.

"Me too."

He could feel her heart beating inside her chest, its rhythm vibrated through him.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"What for?" Edward turned his head so he could look into her eyes. Their noses were almost touching now, their faces were so close. In the small space between them their voices were whispers.

"For the last few days. For going seriously above and beyond," Bella answered.

Edward didn't think he'd gone above and beyond at all.

"What did you think I was going to do?" he whispered.

Bella shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't think most guys wouldn't have handled things the way you have. Especially for someone they've only known for two weeks and dated a handful of times."

"But..." Edward swallowed and took a risk. "But this is more than just two weeks and a handful of dates, isn't it?"

Bella smiled. "Yes." She reached up to stroke his face. Edward tilted his head to kiss her palm. She bit her lip as she smiled again. "And you're not most guys."

Edward didn't comment as Bella laid her head down against his chest.

Over the place where his heart was silent.

The rain continued to beat against the window and they watched the storm move across the sky.

Edward's eyes followed two rain drops charging down the glass and disappearing behind Richard's yellow sunflowers.

"I didn't buy you flowers," he murmured, almost to himself.

Bella snorted softly.

"You don't need to buy me flowers," she said.

"I might like to."

There was a clap of thunder and Bella jumped, then buried her head back in Edward's chest. Instantly his arms tightened around her.

"You okay?" he asked a second later as she warily lifted her head.

"Fine," she murmured and she looked a little embarrassed. "Thunder doesn't usually scare me. I think I'm just a little jumpy."

He kissed her forehead.

"It's been a jumpy sort of few days," he murmured softly against her skin.

"Yeah, you got that right." She frowned a little as Edward pulled back. "Jumpy and edgy and...and I'm just so tired of thinking about everything." She sounded so weary now as she let out a very long sigh.

"What have you been thinking about?" As soon as he'd asked the question Edward realised an answer would mean Bella had to think about the things she was tired of thinking about. He gave himself a mental kick in the ass. "I didn't mean..."

She shook her head. "It's okay. I've just...it was like this after Tyler's van, too. The whole near-death experience thing makes you re-evaluate things."

Edward remembered what she'd told him about the van incident.

"Life's short. And you never know what's going to happen," he echoed.

Bella nodded. "And you realise what's _really_ important," she whispered.

Edward knew what she was saying, it was plain and clear in her eyes. And he wanted to show he understood. He wanted her to know he'd re-evaluated things too, though she wouldn't understand what just yet.

But he wanted her to know he felt the same.

So he kissed her.

On her lips.

Even though he had promised himself he wouldn't until she knew the truth.

But he couldn't help himself. And this moment really called for it.

Tenderly, gently, his mouth moved with hers as he coiled himself around her and his lips let her know, without any doubt, that she was the most important thing...the _only_ thing...in his world.

"Wow," Bella whispered when they finally drew back and Edward was slowly running his nose along her jaw, smiling. It was the second time he'd made her say that.

Bella gave a little giggle and then laid her head on his chest again. They joined their hands and stared back out at the rain.

When the next clap of thunder came Bella didn't even flinch.

He stayed with her that night.

She didn't ask him to, and he didn't offer.

It was just understood.

When she yawned and said she should probably go to bed he went across the road to his house to grab a pair of sweat pants and his softest t-shirt. Then he came back and waited in Bella's living room, feeling almost like a bridegroom on his wedding night, as she went through her nightly routine in the bathroom.

Bella climbed into the bed first, eyes shy, cheeks pink. Then Edward climbed in behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, and they shifted and wriggled until her back was comfortably against his front. Then he curled his body around hers, as though to protect her from anything that might haunt her in her sleep. Although Edward knew that before too long he'd have to climb above the covers to keep her from getting cold. But even then, when the quilt was between them, he would still keep her in his arms.

As she drifted into sleep he gently kissed her temple. He nudged some hair away from her neck and pressed his lips tenderly against her shoulder. She murmured his name.

"I'm here," he whispered.

Bella yawned and murmured something else, something incoherent and Edward was struck by the precious intimacy of this. Of sharing her bed. He remembered Rosalie and Emmett's latest wedding, how the couples had danced to the slow song with eyes only for each other, while he had run through the woods alone.

He kissed Bella's shoulder again and hoped he would find the _right time_ soon.

-0-

As it turned out Edward didn't find the right time.

The right time found him.

It came quietly and unexpectedly on Sunday afternoon.

And when it arrived it surprised him just as much as it did Bella.

The days since Bella had left hospital had been busier than Edward had expected. He'd had images of Bella resting on the sofa while they listened to music together, or he read to her from her favourite books.

But it hadn't been quite like that.

There was usually music playing in the background, and he had read a passage from _The Cammomile Lawn _for her while she typed it up as part of her English essay, but that had been the extent of it.

Instead there had been visits from friends and assignments to catch up on and extensions to request. There had been a trip to the hospital for follow-up scans and a happy diagnosis of 'all clear'. And after that Bella had gone for a hair cut so the uneven patches weren't so uneven anymore and she could venture out into the world without her baseball cap. Now her hair was heavily layered, stopping just above her shoulders and waving softly around her face. It was very pretty, Edward thought.

And on Saturday she'd bought a car to replace her old one.

Well, Edward actually bought it because Bella was still waiting for the money to come through from the insurance. The 1995 Audi had low miles, was in good condition and had Edward's quiet seal of approval though the thought of Bella putting herself at the mercy of other drivers again terrified him. The car belonged to one of Bella's co-workers at the nursing home who was going travelling and needed the money _like, now, _so Edward had written a cheque and Bella had promised to repay him. And she had thanked him. Over and over. Until he told her politely to stop or he would start charging her interest. But he'd winked as he'd said it and Bella had giggled and thanked him no more.

So now, on Sunday afternoon, after a drive in Bella's new car so she could get used to the clutch and get her confidence back, they were curled up for some peace and quiet.

And a documentary about the Loch Ness Monster on the Discovery Channel.

"How did you know this was on?" Edward asked. He was flicking through the channels while they waited for the program to start.

"Nicola told me."

"But she knows you don't have a television."

"Yeah, but she knows you do."

"Ah," he grinned. "So you only want me for my flat screen."

"And your sound system."

"Of course."

Bella grabbed some popcorn from the bowlful that Edward had thoughtfully prepared.

The program started and Edward draped his arm around Bella's shoulder as she nestled into his side.

"I don't believe you believe in all this," he muttered.

"Ssh. I have a soft spot for Nessie. I think she's misunderstood. By people like you."

"She? So it's a girl?"

"I don't know. Will you stop talking?"

He gave a theatrical, exaggerated sigh and Bella giggled, but her eyes stayed focused on the screen.

For the next little while Edward watched her. He liked the way she licked the salt of the popcorn from her lips and the way her brow furrowed, making a little v as she concentrated on the documentary. He liked how she nestled into his side so perfectly, and the way her leg was tossed over the top of his.

Sometimes he wondered what would have happened if he'd stayed in Forks. Would they be here, like this now - practically sitting in each other's laps? Would she be in Chicago at all? Would she have traveled the world, seen Shakespeare's cottage and the Eiffel Tower and, of course, Loch Ness?

He suspected not.

He leant in and nuzzled her ear.

"You know that photo's a fake," he whispered as the famous black and white image of _the monster _filled the screen.

"They just explained that," Bella muttered. "Weren't you listening?"

"I'm just making sure you know," he smirked. "It's a fake."

"Ssh," she hissed. But while her eyes were frowning her lips were fighting a smile.

Edward was quiet for a while.

He nuzzled her again, breathing deeply, taking her scent far into his lungs. Her scent was different lately, he had noticed. It was still _Bella_, it still called to him like nothing else ever had, or would, but it was not quite so strong. It was like her scent had softened somehow. Now the burn was more like a smoulder.

There had been no blood transfusions in the hospital, but he wondered if some of the medication had made the change, although surely any chemicals would be out of her system by now. He began to run through the drugs she had been give, but then the narrator on the television began to discuss the plesiosaur theory.

"It can't be a plesiosaur," he scoffed. "The osteology of the neck means it would never be able to lift its head out of the water like that." He demonstrated with his forearm, raising it and letting it flop.

There was a small growl from Bella and Edward grinned.

"Am I annoying you?"

She opened her mouth to say yes, but stopped. "No," she challenged him. "You're not."

"Then I need to try harder."

"Aargh!"

He chuckled but suddenly she turned her sweetest smile on him. And Edward knew he had lost.

"Edward, I'd really like a cup of tea. Please?"

He narrowed his eyes, told her she didn't play fair, climbed gracefully over the back of the sofa and headed for the kitchen while she chuckled quietly to herself.

Edward went about his task very deliberately and when he returned to the living room with a steaming cup of Earl Grey the end credits were rolling.

"Perfect timing," he said and Bella rolled her eyes. He handed her the cup and she thanked him.

"Any time," he smiled as she took her first sip. He took her free hand in his while she drank.

"Mm, you're hand is warm from the cup," she smiled down at his fingers. "It feels like you've been in the sun." She took another sip while Edward didn't comment. "So, that documentary didn't convince you?" she probed.

"It convinced me that there's no monster living in the lake. Not that I actually needed convincing of that."

"So skeptical, Edward."

"So I've been told."

She ran her fingers back and forth between his as their hands rested on his thigh. "You know, Edward, sometimes things are _exactly_ what they seem, even if it's hard to believe. You can try and explain the mysterious shapes in the water, tell yourself it's old tyres or logs or some other thing from the realms of your every day experience, but in the end maybe it's just exactly what it looks like."

"A mysterious mythical creature."

"Exactly."

"But then it's not mythical anymore."

She groaned and shook her head as she set the cup on the coffee table.

"You're impossible."

"I know," grinned.

She leant back against him, her head on his shoulder as a program about polar bears began.

Edward asked if she wanted to watch anything else and turned the television off when Bella shook her head.

"It's nice like this," she said and squeezed her hand on his leg.

In the quiet Edward listened to the soft, steady beat of Bella's heart, enjoying its rhythm. But when that soft steady beat gradually began to quicken and jerk his body tensed.

"Sometimes things are exactly what they seem," Bella whispered.

Slowly, she sat up and faced him. There was a small space between them now and Edward could see realisation dawning across her features. His breath stopped, his body braced itself as though for impact as Bella stared at him He didn't know where it had come from but he watched the truth come together in her eyes.

"Bella..."

"Sometimes things are exactly what they seem," she whispered again. Her face had paled and drained. "But I'm not in danger...am I?"

"No."

It was just one word, a single syllable, but it was said with such truth and such conviction that Bella couldn't fail to believe him.

She nodded, eyes huge. But even though she accepted his word her body was tense, coiled like a cat waiting to pounce. Or run.

Edward swallowed hard but otherwise kept perfectly still, not wanting to frighten her and not sure what to do next. This wasn't how he'd imagined this conversation.

Bella looked down at his hands that sat loose on his legs now, and then across to the window.

"I can never hear your heart beat."

"No."

"I've never seen you in the sun."

"No."

Her eyes came back to his.

"You're always cold."

"Yes."

"This is what you were going to tell me on Saturday night, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Tell me. What are you?"

"Vampire."

It felt like Bella's gasp had sucked all the air from the room. Her heart began crashing against her ribs. Her body started to tremble. Edward waited for her to run, but she didn't move. Instead her eyes stayed on his, holding his gaze as though it was her lifeline and without it she would crumble.

And Edward was motionless. A statue. The only sign of life was in his eyes as they held Bella's and which blazed with fear and uncertainty and longing.

And love.

And gradually Bella's heart began to slow. Her trembling calmed. Edward thought the initial shock was passing.

"Are you alright?" he asked softly.

Bella waited the longest moment of Edward's life before she nodded her head.

"I think so."

Very, _very_ slowly, Edward reached for her hand. The hand that had been so warm and gentle in his just a few minutes ago. He lifted it and pressed her palm against his cheek, holding it there gently, hoping she wouldn't pull away.

"I'm still me," he whispered. "Edward."

Bella bit her lip and her eyes were glossy with tears now.

"I know," she said and her thumb stroked softly against his skin. Edward's eyes closed briefly, savoring her touch, her caress, hoping it wouldn't be the last.

Slowly he opened his eyes. And watched her.

"It's like all the pieces of a puzzle coming together," she whispered. "You've been such a mystery. And I knew there was something _unusual _about you. You've always seemed other-worldly, right from the start even back in Forks; your eyes, the way you move, the reflexes, but I didn't think…I never thought…" she paused and sighed. "Because you don't exactly fit the myths. And you don't even fit the rational theories that are supposed to _explain the myths_. But even if nothing fits, if I look at all the little bits and pieces together – vampire comes closest." She blinked a couple of times. "Sometimes the most obvious explanation is the right one, and things are exactly what they seem."

Edward had been holding his breath, and he inhaled slowly now as he prepared to speak.

"I imagine you have some questions," he said.

"I...my mind's blank." And Bella seemed almost as surprised by this as by anything else.

Edward nodded and reluctantly released her hand. He gave her a small, crooked smile.

"There's a lot I have to tell you," he said. "And if you'll let me, I would like to tell you my story from the beginning."

He waited, taking his cues from her, and when she nodded he got up from the sofa.

"I have some things I'd like you to see. Will you wait for me? Please?"

Bella nodded again and Edward left the room to visit his bedside drawers. When he returned to the living room Bella hadn't moved, but she watched him carefully as he came towards her, studying him, watching him walk, looking at his bare feet, the way his fingers curled around the two envelopes he held in his hand. Then at his face.

"I've thought of a question," she said.

"Ask me. Ask me anything." He stopped where he was and waited. Her face was still pale.

"Do you…do you drink blood?"

"Only from animals," he answered immediately. "It's a choice we've made, my family and I. We respect human life."

"So Carlisle…?"

"Yes."

"And the others? You're all, um, vampires?"

"Yes."

He could see Bella taking this in, digesting it. He stayed where he was, halfway between the sofa and the bookshelves, his toes digging into the rug until she nodded. With this small gesture he came forward slowly and sat beside her, leaving a small distance between them.

"The door is not locked," he said softly and Bella nodded again, understanding.

"Is this why you wanted to take things slowly?" she asked.

"It is."

"And why you won't kiss me...properly? Except for those couple of times?"

"Yes." He frowned a little. "I thought you should know _who _you were kissing. And I'm hoping you won't regret those couple of times." He shrugged a shoulder and gave a small, almost apologetic smile.

Bella gave him a tentative smile back.

"They were good kisses," Bella said quietly. Then her eyes fell on the envelopes in Edward's hand.

He held out his birth certificate.

The paper trembled slightly as Bella unfolded it. Edward watched her eyes move over the page, tracing the words that announced his arrival into the world. His breath was still and silent in his chest as he waited for her reaction.

"Your middle name is Anthony," she whispered. "Masen. That's your birth name?"

Edward had always thought of it as his human name and Bella's choice of word surprised him a little.

"Er, yes."

Her eyes moved down the page.

"1901!" she gasped. "I guess that explains a few things."

"What things?"

"The way you speak sometimes. And the impeccable manners."

"It was the way I was raised."

Bella looked up from the page frowning. "No," she said. "That would be part of it, but I also think it's just who you are." She blinked and frowned again and looked back at the paper once more.

Her eyes followed the names of his parents, the place of his birth…

"You were born in this house?"

"In the room right above this one."

Bella looked upwards and then back to Edward.

"The other bedroom, the one you showed me, was that your bedroom when you were a boy?"

"It was."

Bella considered this and then looked at the birth certificate again. When she'd finished she took a few deep breaths and laid it carefully on the coffee table.

"Wow," she whispered. "Wow." Then her eyes fell on the next envelope.

"I've seen your photos," he said smiling softly. "I thought you might like to see some of mine."

Bella was obviously surprised but she smiled too as she took the photos from him.

There were five and as she looked at them her body began to relax a little. Her surprise was replaced by curiosity.

"These are your parents?" she asked.

"Yes. And that little bundle my mother is holding is me."

Just the top of Edward's downy head was showing in amongst the blankets and shawls that swaddled him and Bella smiled. Some of the tension left her as she looked at the picture.

"It's a lovely photo," she said.

"Thank you."

"Your mother was very beautiful."

"She was."

Bella shifted slightly on the sofa. Edward wondered whether the tiny movement towards him was unconscious or not.

She looked at the next photo.

"Oh! You were chubby!" Her surprised chuckle made Edward smile. The hard knots in his stomach began to ease.

"I was two," he justified. "Most two year olds are chubby. Aren't they?"

"Probably. It's a small rocking horse."

"They came in different sizes, for different ages."

"Was it yours?"

"No, that photo would have been taken in a photographer's studio, the horse would have been a prop."

Bella touched the image, her fingers tracing the cheeks of the chubby little boy who was looking very seriously at the camera.

"You were cute," she whispered.

The next photo was a twelve year old Edward, rugged up against the cold, standing in the snow, head held high, arms folded across his chest. His right foot was holding a sled in place.

"Great ear muffs," Bella giggled and her gentle teasing warmed Edward like nothing else could at that moment. She relaxed a little further into the sofa and he noticed the space between them was getting smaller.

"All you see are the ear muffs?" he scoffed, pretending to be offended. "I had a brand new sled, I was supposed to look all-conquering and brave."

Bella snorted and for Edward the sound was like gold. Snorting was good.

"What were you going to conquer?"

"The Slope," he smiled.

Bella raised an eyebrow.

"What was The Slope?"

She shifted and the space got smaller. Their knees were almost touching, Edward draped his arm along the back of the sofa.

"There used to be some open land not far from here - it's been built on now, but back then it sloped down into a creek. We used to go down the slope on our sleds..."

"Towards the creek?" Bella interrupted.

"Towards the creek."

"Which was icy, I suppose."

"Very icy, but if you swerved at the right time you missed the creek and went into the trees."

"And if you didn't swerve at the right time?"

"You'd go through the ice."

Bella blinked at him. "That's one of the most stupid things I've ever heard. You could have been _killed_."

Then she realised what she'd said and gasped.

"Sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay," Edward smiled. Hesitantly he covered her hand with his. "You're right, it was stupid. But it was fun."

"Did you ever go through the ice?"

"Only once."

She looked back at the photo.

"What colour was your sled?"  
"Red, of course." He smiled again, partly because of her question, but mostly because her hand was still in his. "Any decent sled was red. Red sleds go faster, didn't you know that?"

"I thought that was red cars."

"Same thing. Though there weren't many cars in those days."  
"No I suppose not." Bella frowned a little as she looked at the next photo.

"Baseball. Oh, there you are, right? That's you isn't it?"

Edward stood in the back row of a group of boys all wearing caps and uniforms.

"Yes, that's me."

"You look about, maybe fourteen? Fifteen?"

"Something like that."  
"Was this when you split your pants?" she smirked a little.

"No, I think that came later." He pointed to the boy standing beside him. "And that's Michael, he was my best friend. And beside him is William, my other best friend."

"You can't have two best friends."

"I did."

His voice had taken on a slightly melancholy tone now as he stared at the images of his boyhood friends.

"Do you know what happened to them?" Bella asked gently.

"No," he shook his head. "William and I had a pact to join the army when we turned eighteen. I don't know if he ever did."

"You didn't make eighteen then?"

"No. Seventeen."

There was silence. Bella's hand tightened around Edward's, giving a gentle squeeze. He smiled and squeezed back.

There was one more photo.

"Oh. You played the piano?"

"I still do."

"I didn't know…" She touched the photo. "You look so serious."

"Another studio shot," he said. "Posed."

"You look like you." She looked up at him, studying him carefully. "Your jaw is sharper now. Your cheekbones seem more…prominent." Her eyes went a little higher. "Your hair is still the same, though. All over the place."

Edward ran his hand through the bronze strands.

"I think this was taken just a few weeks before I…changed."

At his words Bella tensed slightly, but she stayed where she was.

"What happened to you?"

Edward took a deep breath and began.

"You've heard of the Spanish Influenza?"

He explained about his parents, and his mother's dying wish for Dr Cullen to save her son.

"Carlisle was your doctor?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"I would have died that night, there was so little life left in me. When it was dark he carried me out of the hospital and over the rooftops, back to place where he lived."

Bella's heart was pounding in her chest.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop?" Edward asked and looked down at her hand in his - the blood was throbbing through her veins. He was beginning to worry.

"No," she said. "Don't stop."

"I don't want to scare you. That's the last thing I want."

"I'm not scared, not really," she said. "But what you're telling me is scary...if you see the difference."

Edward nodded and continued. He spoke about the venom working like a virus, how it alters the body's physiology, and appearance.

Bella asked if it hurt and Edward told her it was excruciating.

Then she sat up straighter and hesitantly reached up towards his neck. "May I?"

Her request and her gesture surprised him, but he nodded and turned his head to the side.

"You won't be able to see," he said. "The scar is too faint for human eyes to detect."

But his eyes closed as Bella's fingers touched his skin, tracing over the invisible scar that had, in fact, brought him to her.

When she withdrew her hand Edward felt the loss keenly.

"What happened next?" she asked. "You obviously stayed with Carlisle."

"I did, mostly. As for what happened next, that is a long story."

For the next hour or so Bella listened, transfixed, as Edward told her _everything._

He talked about his early days with Carlisle; his newborn phase; about when Esme joined them and then Rosalie and Emmett; how Alice and Jasper found them later.

He explained about life as a vampire; the heightened senses, the fantastic speed and incredible strength.

He exploded the myths; sunlight, coffins, garlic, crucifixes, no reflection. And no fangs.

He told her about his dark days when he left Carlisle and went out on his own. He thought this might frighten her but she took it all in her stride.

"I don't think you're the only person to think that people like that should be...stopped," she said.

"I still can't justify what I did."

"I think the people you saved might disagree with you."

He stared at her, stunned at her acceptance.

"Perhaps," he answered quietly.

When he told her about his gift, and Alice's, she gaped at him.

"You're kidding," she gasped. "Alice can see the future and you can read minds?"

"Except yours," he clarified. "Yours is the only mind that's closed to me."

She frowned. "The only one? Do you know why?"

"No."

"That seems really strange."

"Believe me, I know," he chuckled darkly.

"And does Alice see everything?"

"No. Her visions come at random, and when they do come some are clearer than others." He took a deep breath. "That's really how I found you at the hospital last Saturday."

"Oh?"

He explained about hearing the sirens and then getting Alice's panicked call.

"I wondered about that," Bella said. "You said you'd called my phone, but there were no missed calls from you."

Edward smiled as he realised he'd slipped up and Bella had noticed.

She leant against him once more. He touched her hair softly and talked a little about the places they'd lived, the schools he'd been to, degrees he'd earned.

"You're a doctor? Twice?"

"I've never practiced though."

"So, that's why you were so good at biology?"

"I guess," he shrugged. "Or because I've done the subject so many times."

Bella considered this, then frowned.

"What really happened that first day in Forks?" she asked quietly and Edward grimaced now.

"That's another long story," he said.

"I have time," she smiled.

He began with the cafeteria, how he'd noticed her becauseher mind was silent and how he'd thought she seemed so fragile and in need of protection. He explained how she'd stirred long-buried human feelings he didn't understand.

But then he had to tell her how her scent had assaulted him in the biology lab. Bella's eyes widened as understanding took hold. Her free hand went unconsciously to her chest.

"You wanted to kill me?"

Her body stiffened. She moved away from him, just slightly, but for Edward the new space between them felt cavernous.

And Bella was watching him, eyes huge, almost disbelieving, waiting for his answer.

"I wanted your blood more than any other I had come across," he confessed.

"But that would mean killing me."

He closed his eyes and there shame was in his voice when he answered.

"Yes."

There was silence. Except for Bella's frantic, panicked heart. Edward opened his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said.

He tried to read Bella's expression but couldn't. Her face was blank, almost like she hadn't understood anything he'd said. Only her heart gave her away. It still raced in her chest, like it was trying desperately to get out and run away.

He decided it probably was.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm thinking...you resisted," she said after a long moment.

"I did."

"Do you still feel that way? Does my blood still..."

"No." Edward spoke with that same truth and conviction he had before. He hoped it was relief he saw now in Bella's eyes. He waited a while before he went on, giving her a chance to settle and realise she was safe. She seemed to understand this, because after a few minutes she nodded.

"Go on," she said. "I'm okay. I know you won't hurt me."

"No," he said. "Never."

He pulled his hand through his hair and sighed.

"And I don't know how to explain," he said. "But your scent means something different to me now, it triggers very different feelings and emotions. It..." He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. "The past two years have changed me. _You _have changed me."

"The past two years?"

Edward nodded slowly. "I've thought about you almost every moment of the last two years," he said. "Of course, I never expected to see you again, but even so, you stayed with me. And...everything changed." He smiled, but then the smile faded to a frown. "I'm sorry if that sounds a bit intense." He ran his hand through his hair again and looked down at the floor. "I, er, I saw you a few days before I actually approached you." He chanced a glance at Bella whose face now showed surprise, a little shock, and a lot of curiosity. Edward continued. "The tenants had moved out. I was here to do a landlord's inspection and I came outside just as you were moving in across the street. The wind had just blown your lamp over. And it blew your scent in my direction."

"Oh. I…I didn't see you."

"You wouldn't have, I went back inside pretty quickly. And…it was such a shock, your scent crashed over me, literally knocked me over, and for a few minutes I felt completely, I don't know…overwhelmed? That doesn't seem strong enough." He struggled, searching for the right words and not finding them. "It was such a shock," he murmured again, and shrugged. "But even so, once that initial reaction, that first shock, wore off, I realised I didn't want to...I didn't feel..." he stopped again, shaking his head. It was rare that Edward was lost for words. A soft smile stole across his lips. "I was only happy that I'd found you again."

Bella blushed now and Edward was relieved to see the colour, at last, come back into her cheeks. He smiled as he looked back at the photos on the coffee table. At the image of himself at the piano.

"But even though I realised I would never, _could never_, hurt you, even though I knew I wanted to be with you more than I wanted your blood, it took me a while to decide what to do. I didn't know whether I should reintroduce myself or just go away again."

Bella's hand found his again and Edward watched as her fingers twined with his.

"My touch never seems to bother you," he said and Bella smiled.

"Whenever you touch me the first thing I feel is heat," she said. "Warmth, it just shoots through me like an electric current, even that day in biology when our hands touched on the microscope." Her face coloured again at this admission and her words shocked the breath out of Edward.

"I thought it was just me," he whispered. "I'd thought you pulled your hand away that day because I was cold."

Bella shook her head. "It was the spark, the electricity," she said. "The cold does come, though. But I'd rather have you touching me than not." Then she gave an embarrassed little giggle. "For a while I wondered if you just had really poor circulation or some other medical condition you didn't want to talk about. I thought when you said you wanted to take things slow, and there were things you needed to tell me, it was to do with something like that. I even looked up anaemia and photosensitivity and circulatory disorders…along with the legends of strigoi and vrykolakas."

"That's quite a mix."

"Yeah."

And then silence fell again. Edward wanted to know what Bella was thinking, but he didn't ask.

The afternoon had disappeared and the moon was in the sky now. Silvery light filtered into the room and Edward got up to switch on the lamps.

"I should probably tell you about the Quileutes," he said as he sat down again beside her. Bella shifted, she'd been sitting a long time. She stretched her legs out and then curled them beneath her again as she faced Edward, curious. She reached out for his hand and he took it eagerly.

"What about them?"

Edward smirked. "They're werewolves."

Bella rolled her eyes and then stopped.

"Oh, you're serious?"

Edward shrugged, still smirking a bit. "Well, that's the legend of their tribe. They're supposedly descended from wolves and can transform to protect the tribe from...us."

"By _us _do you mean vampires orCullens?"

"Vampires in general. Cullens in particular."

Bella's face wore the blank expression again. "You might want to run this by me again," she said.

So Edward told her about the first time the Cullens lived in Forks. And about the treaty.

"I thought you might have heard rumours," he said when he'd finished and Bella was looking stunned.

"Er, no. Nothing. But I didn't spend much time at La Push." And then there was a flash of panic in her eyes. "Will they tell Charlie? What happens to you if they expose you?"

Edward shook his head. "I don't think they'll tell him. It would be breaking the treaty. And anyway, Charlie has been back in Forks for five days, I'm sure he's mentioned me to Sue by now and if she or one of the others had told him his daughter was dating a vampire I think he would have been on the next plane here. And you would be back in Forks, or more likely La Push, behind the treaty line where I shouldn't be able to touch you."

His expression darkened and Bella reached for his hand.

"I wouldn't go," she smiled. But when her smile started to fade and her expression changed, Edward tensed.

"What?"

"I was just thinking...not that I ever really tell my dad much, but I'll have to be careful what I say about you."

Ah, Edward thought. She was beginning to realise. He had been planning to get to this part of the conversation, and perhaps he had been putting it off, but once again Bella had beaten him to it.

"It's one of the problems of being with someone like me. It becomes a life of lies and limitations."

He draped his arm along the back of the sofa and he touched Bella's shoulder gently.

"You should know that I can't ever settle anywhere for very long, three or four years at most. And almost everything in my life is governed by the weather - my world is grey skies and as much cloud cover as I can find."

Bella was very still, her eyes glued to Edward as she listened.

"And if we were together you would have to lie to your family and friends about me. Make excuses why, after a few years, I never come to dinner parties or Christmas dinner or Thanksgiving lunch. Or in the case of Charlie and Sue, why I never come at all." His fingers touched some strands of hair that curled over Bella's shoulders. They shone in the lamplight and Edward watched the light playing on them as he continued to speak. His voice was flat now, empty, without expression, while inside his heart twisted and burned.

"Being with me could limit your career and the places you could work. And there are other things…" He swallowed and let the hair fall away from his fingers. He dropped his eyes. "I can make love to you, but I can't give you children."

Edward stopped talking. There was almost perfect silence, except for Bella's heart which was beating slowly and heavily now in her chest, almost like it was tired.  
"And I'll get older while you stay seventeen," she whispered.

"Yes," Edward said.

"And then you probably wouldn't feel the same way about me after a few…"

Edward stopped her with a gentle finger pressed to her lips. He shook his head slowly and very deliberately.

"Don't even say it," he murmured. "I will feel the same for you for the next thousand years and the thousand after that, and then a thousand more. My feelings are unchanging, set in stone if you like. That's just the way it is for our kind."

Bella gasped and Edward kept her gaze, letting her see the truth in his eyes. Then he steeled himself for what he was about to say.

"But you should also know that it doesn't have to be that way. You don't have to grow old. I would change you if you ever decided that was what you wanted."

A week ago he would never have thought he would say those words. He sat now, his wish of forever out in the open, and watched Bella's face drain again, like it had earlier. At that moment, as she paled before his eyes, Edward decided he was glad he couldn't read her mind.

"You'd…you'd change me?" Bella stammered.

"If you wanted me to. But I should tell you this is very new for me," he said "Until very recently I wouldn't have offered to change you, I thought it would be wrong of me, and I had issues about the mortal soul..." he stopped and sighed and said no more.

"What about the soul?"

He gave a sharp laugh and ran his hand over his head, back and forth.

"I used to think I was a soulless monster, that _vampires_ were soulless monsters, and I would never condemn you to that same fate. But, cutting a long story short, I found my soul on your living room floor two weeks ago when we were discussing Wuthering Heights."

He looked at Bella through his lashes and shrugged.

Bella looked at him like he was crazy.

"I don't...I can't...what? Oh..." Her eyes widened with understanding. "Heathcliff."

"Heathcliff. And you. What you said. About needing a soul to feel love."

Bella bowed her head. Edward could see her biting her lip.

"Really?" she asked. "What I said?"

"Really."

"Wow. That's just...wow."

"It was very...wow."

Then Bella shook herself and took a deep breath. She looked up at Edward again. "And that was the moment you decided you would offer to change me?"

"No. That particular revelation came just one week ago."

"When I had my accident?"

"When I nearly lost you."

Her hand was still holding his and she lifted his fingers to her lips. Her small gesture touched him, and made him smile.

Then she looked away out the window. She let go a very long breath.

"If you changed me we'd be together for eternity?"

Edward nodded.

She was frowning and Edward wasn't sure if it was because she was considering the idea or finding it distasteful.

She looked down at her leg and began picking at the hole in the knee of her jeans, plucking at the frayed threads of denim.

"That's a really hard concept to get my head around," she said. "Eternity."

"I know, trust me. But this isn't something you even have to think about now. You never have to think about it at all if you don't want to. It wouldn't matter if you never wanted to change. And if you decided you did want to there's no cut-off date…you could be twenty five, forty one, seventy eight…"

Bella scowled. "The thought of being seventy eight for eternity isn't very appealing."

"No," Edward frowned. "I suppose not." He began to wonder if he was handling this all wrong. "But, you just need to know you have the choice. That's the important thing, I think. Choice. I never had that."

She looked at him, her eyes worried now, concerned, but not for herself.

"Do you wish Carlisle hadn't changed you?"

"Not now. In the past, there were times...but not now." He lifted her hand and, very carefully, kissed her knuckles. For this he was rewarded with a shy smile and pink cheeks.

Then there was a very long silence during which the hole in Bella's jeans got larger while Edward watched the denim unravel. When her fingers stopped and she looked up at him quickly he felt a new shiver of tension run through him.

Suddenly, she climbed into his lap and clung to him.

He welcomed her, wrapping his arms around her gently. He was relieved and thrilled but still wary, because he still couldn't be sure how this would go.

"What are you thinking?" he asked.

"I'm thinking...it's so much to take in. It's almost like it's too much for my brain to process."

"I know. I've given you a lot to think about." He rocked her gently.

"And I want to say none of it matters," Bella mumbled into his chest. "I want to say it doesn't change anything, nothing matters as long as we're together...but it does matter. It matters a lot. And it does change things."

"It does," Edward whispered.

"And I'd be stupid and naive to say it doesn't. And it would be denying who you are."

Her eyes began to fill and Edward felt like his chest had been torn open and a chunk of his heart had been sliced away.

"I have to think," Bella said. "I have to think this all through." She sniffed and wiped her face on her sleeve. "I'm not saying I don't want to be with you, I just...I have to think about what it means."

Edward kissed the top of her head. "I know," he whispered.

She sniffed again, blinking hard as she looked up at him.

"Edward, back in Forks, that first day in biology, what made you stop? Why didn't you kill me?"

Her question shocked him, especially as it seemed to have come from nowhere, and Edward took a moment to answer, considering his words carefully.

"At the time I thought it was about maintaining the beliefs Carlisle had instilled in me. I thought it was about not giving in to the monster and rising above my baser instincts." He paused and pulled his hand through his hair. "I thought it was about not making trouble for my family. And it _was_ all those things, but it was also..." He shook his head and bit his lip as he wondered how his next words would be received. "I didn't realise it then...it took me a long time to understand but I think, from that first moment in the cafeteria when I felt protective of you...I'd already fallen completely and irrevocably in love with you."

Bella gasped and her grip on him tightened. A tremor ran through her and Edward stroked his hand over her back.

"I lov..." she began, but Edward put his finger gently to her lips, stopping her before she said anything more. She looked at him, confused and hurt.

"Not yet," he whispered. "I want to hear you say it, believe me, I want nothing more, but not until you're sure. I don't want you to regret saying it, if you decide this isn't what you want. I don't want you to wish you could take it back."

He took his finger away from her lips.

"Like the kisses?"

Edward nodded. "Like the kisses."  
"You won't kiss me properly until I'm sure?"

"No."

Bella nodded and looked away.

"It's getting late," she said. "I should probably go home."

She stood and her legs were shaky. Edward stood too and took her gently by the hand.

"Are you alright?"

"I will be."

"Are you sure you want to go?"

"Yes."

"Then let me walk with you."

He knew she needed time to think. But it hurt him like nothing else had.

They held hands as they crossed the road.

The key shook in Bella's hand as she turned it in her lock.

"What will you do now?" she asked him.

"I should probably hunt," he said. "I'll go north for a couple of days." He would give her space, as well as time.

Bella nodded. "How long since you last, um… hunted?"

"Ten days."

She nodded again. "Your eyes are getting darker," she murmured. "And you get these shadows under your eyes. I remember noticing them that first day."

She reached up to touch his cheek and Edward closed his eyes, savoring the caress.

He wondered how he should say goodbye. Could he hug her? Then he remembered the first night he'd stood there and wondered the same thing and how they'd ended up on her sofa wrapped in each other's arms.

Edward opened his eyes.

There were fresh tears on Bella's cheeks as she pulled him into a goodbye hug.

-0-

Edward tore through the trees, trying to outrun the agony of waiting.

The steely grey light of Wednesday morning was beginning to creep across the sky.

It had been two full days and he'd heard nothing from Bella.

He didn't know if that was good or bad.

He had been hopeful for so long, optimistic that she would choose him, but now he wasn't so sure.

But he wanted her to think. She _needed _to think. This wasn't a decision to make lightly, he knew that…but still…two days…

He stopped and sank to the ground.

It was the longest two days he'd ever lived through.

And he wondered what he would do if her answer was no.

He drew his legs up, rested his elbows on his knees and buried his head in his hands.

He didn't want to contemplate the answer to that one. But he knew he had to. Because 'no' was a possibility.

He wondered if they would still be friends. But then he wondered how he would handle that. How would he handle watching by the sidelines as her life went on…dates, boyfriends, marriage…children…

He bowed his head and hunched his shoulders and hugged his legs. He looked like someone steeling themselves for impact; like the diagrams in the seat pockets of aeroplanes that illustrate the brace position in case of a crash.

And that was how Edward felt.

Like he was waiting for the plane to crash.

He'd been like this, on and off, ever since he'd driven out of Chicago on Sunday evening.

Sometimes he was so sure she would say yes that he would begin planning things – like where he could take her for the summer. The moonlit ride in a gondola was still top of his list. Or he'd think about bringing her to Vermont and introducing her to his family. Or taking her to concerts. Helping her cook dinner. They'd curl up on the sofa and talk and laugh about their day and when she was tired he'd curl around her in her bed.

Or in his.

And he thought about what it would be like to make love to her.

But then there were times like this, when the hours dragged past and the phone stayed silent and despair would nudge and gnaw at him.

And every thought he had was underpinned with worry that something might happen to her while he was gone. A worry so acute it was almost crippling. Sometimes he wondered what he was doing here, far away from her. Then he'd remember…he was giving her space.

Edward wondered if he should call his family.

He hadn't told them of Sunday afternoon's events but as he contemplated contact he changed his mind. He would wait until he had an answer from Bella.

Alice probably knew anyway. She might even know Bella's answer.

Edward screwed his eyes shut and then opened them wide, blinking hard.

He stared down at the earth between his feet. His shoes were scuffed. He knew there were dirt marks on his jeans and a small splatter of blood on his t-shirt. The last deer he'd tackled had put up a fight. Normally that would have been of no consequence, his prey often fought, but this time Edward hadn't been focused. His technique had been sloppy.

He hadn't been this messy since the early nineteen twenties.

He toed a little at the dirt and wondered when his mood would swing back to quiet optimism again.

The sky grew lighter and Edward decided to go back to Chicago. He wondered if he should seek Bella out when he got there, or if he should wait for her to come to him. He didn't want her to feel pressured.

Then for a staggering moment he wondered if she was waiting for him to come back so she could give him her answer. And here he was, skulking around in forests, sitting in the dirt, waiting for the phone to ring.

"Idiot!"

He leapt up and began speeding through the trees. His feet barely touched the earth as he flew, desperate now to get back.

When his phone beeped with a message he stopped without even slowing, and just stood.

He was almost too afraid to look.

Edward's fingers actually shook as he pulled the phone from his pocket. He held it gingerly and considered that with just one press of a button his future would be decided.

He sucked in a deep breath.

But maybe the message wasn't even from Bella.

Perhaps it was Alice.

Or a wrong number.

Or Rosalie.

Or maybe his phone number had been randomly selected and now he was in the draw to win a sun-soaked holiday in the Bahamas. Or a new computer. Or a car/boat/surf-ski…take your pick.

Maybe it was Emmett with one of his hideous knock-knock jokes where he'd message _knock knock_ and Edward would have to respond with _who's there?_

Or perhaps it really was Bella.

He opened the message.

Edward was an intelligent man, but his brain couldn't register what it was seeing. He recognized the letters, he knew the words, but the meaning overwhelmed him.

His eyes rolled over the screen again.

And again.

"Oh."

He stared a little way into the distance, not really seeing, while he let Bella's message sink in. The sky was growing lighter and he watched for a moment as the colours of the leaves changed with the new day.

Then he looked at the screen again, almost afraid that the words might have vanished. Or changed. But they hadn't.

_Kiss me._

Edward began to smile.

In his silent, hollow chest he could feel warmth.

The smile stretched across his face and became a grin.

The warmth spread through his body and became joy.

The grin became a laugh.

The joy filled him until it overflowed and he threw his head back and his arms wide and yelled triumphantly into the dawn…

"YES!"

The tyres on the Saab were smoking slightly when Edward pulled into one of the university parking lots a few hours later. He had been home, showered and changed and now he was here, at the university. It was nine fifteen on Wednesday morning - he assumed she would be here. Somewhere.

He began to look for her.

He jogged along corridors, looking out for her in people's thoughts, but there was nothing. He checked the Anthropology department, and the History department.

He checked the café where they had had lunch and he'd made her an origami swan.

He walked through the Library.

He tried her phone for what was the seventh time since he'd left the woods, but like the other six times, it went to voicemail.

He visited the English department.

And the Engineering department - just in case.

Nothing.

Then, as he crossed the lawn towards the Psychology department he saw her.

And he stopped.

She was frowning as she came out of the Administration building, staring at her feet as she came down the steps.

It seemed as if she sensed his presence - her steps faltered and she looked up.

And their eyes met.

Bella started, surprised. And then her face broke into a smile that lit up Edward's whole world.

He barely managed to keep a human pace as he tore across the lawn to her and she almost skidded down the steps. It seemed to take forever, but only a few seconds later Edward was standing in front of her.

He didn't speak. He simply took her face between his shaking hands and let his eyes tell her _everything - _his joy, his love, his devotion. His desire.

And he could see the same in hers. Warm brown eyes reflecting endless depths of love. Love that was meant for him.

She was trembling. She dropped her bag and threw her arms around his neck. She rose up on her toes and her eyes fluttered closed.

And Edward lowered his face. He leant in, brushed his lips over hers, once, twice...and then he kissed her.

Properly.

**A/N: Big thank you's to Melanie. And Isabel. And to all the people who read and review and recommend this story, thank you so much.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Another long wait, I'm sorry...**

**Last time...Edward told Bella he was a vampire. She needed time to think. He went away hunting while he waited for her answer. She sent him a text...**_**Kiss me...**_

Edward lost himself in that kiss.

His arms cradled Bella now as he slowly, _slowly,_ bent his body over hers and she fisted her hands in his hair.

His lips spoke what was in his heart while he held her body against his - the kiss was love, devotion, joy, hope, promise. And desire.

They only broke apart when Bella needed to breathe.

He held her close, tucked in tight under his chin, wrapped in his arms. Her heart pounded and throbbed against him, he felt its vibrations through his whole body She was breathless but beaming as she looked up at him.

"I love you," she whispered.

Edward's sigh was soft but it came from the depths of his soul. His heart felt too big for his chest and he stared into Bella's eyes.

He smiled slowly, whispered her name, and that he loved her too, and then he was kissing her again.

When this kiss finally ended Bella was smiling but her eyes stayed closed. Edward touched her cheek gently and ran his thumb over her bottom lip which was full and dark from being well and truly, properly kissed. Her eyes fluttered open and he smiled down at her.

"Do you want to go somewhere and talk?" he asked and she nodded.

oo

They sat together under an old tree that stood, tucked away, in a far corner of the campus. Edward's head was in Bella's lap, his long legs stretched out on the grass. She played with his hair while he smiled up at her.

Her hand moved from his hair to his face. Her fingers stroked the skin beneath his eyes where purple shadows had been darkening two days before.

"Was it good hunting?" she asked.

"It was fine."

He took her hand and pressed kisses to her knuckles, keeping his eyes on hers, studying the dark circles beneath them.

"You've not been sleeping," he frowned and gently traced one of the shadows with his thumb.

"No," she admitted and took a deep breath, closing her eyes and leaning into his touch. "I've been busy thinking."

Edward didn't like that she'd lost sleep over him, but then asked himself what he'd expected after leaving her with such a bombshell on Sunday night.

When he took his hand away from her face Bella's eyes opened.

"Tell me what you've been thinking," he whispered.

"I don't know where to start."

"Start anywhere."

"I really liked your photos."

Edward's face broke into a surprised grin. He hadn't expected her to start there.

"They really put everything in perspective for me," Bella went on. "It was like seeing the whole story. I could see _you_." She pushed some hair away from his eyes. "I really liked the one with the sled." He smiled up at her while her fingers brushed over his forehead. "I thought about everything you told me," she said, still smiling. "Everything. And at first, on Sunday night, it all seemed so complicated, and I thought everything had changed..." she trailed off as her expression became more serious now. "But the more I thought the more I realised that, yeah, everything had changed, but at the same time _nothing_ had changed - my feelings were still exactly the same, and I still knew what I wanted. And it didn't seem so complicated anymore." She paused, her fingers trailed softly along Edward's jaw as he hung on every word.

"There will be limitations. And lies. I understand that. And I know there are some things that will never be."

Edward was nodding a slow confirmation of her words.

"And I know you might think I'm missing out on things, or giving things up, but I see it as making choices. And I choose you." She paused and smiled at him. Her fingers wove gently through his hair. "And I also know that the alternative is unthinkable. Being apart - it's not really an option for us, is it?"

Edward shook his head slowly as he considered her words.

"No. I don't think it is," he whispered.

Bella traced her fingers over his lips.

"So…when there are complications, and I know there will be, we'll deal with them as they come. One Christmas at a time, one Thanksgiving at a time, one job application at a time…one sunny day at a time."

She leant forward and kissed him, then sighed and leant back against the tree, her face turned to the sky while Edward watched her. He had never known such peace as at that moment. The breeze blew his hair into his eyes and he pursed his lips and blew it back out again. Bella looked down and when the hair fell straight back over his face she laughed. She brushed it out of the way for him.

"Do you ever cut it?" she asked.

"No. It won't grow back if I do. Although I think about it sometimes. If it's shorter it might make me look older."

Bella studied his face, pushing the defiant locks well back from his forehead now.

"You look older than you did in Forks," she mused.

"I shouldn't."

"It's not your face so much," Bella said. "It's your eyes. You don't seem seventeen any more. I don't know if you ever really did, but...you do seem different now. You do seem older."

Edward thought back over the two years since he'd left Forks - his months of anguished isolation and his resolution to be a better man. The pain of his quiet, persistent love that he never expected to be returned. No, his face wouldn't have changed, but he had.

"Perhaps I have aged in the last two years," he said thoughtfully. "Or matured. However you want to look at it."

Bella cocked her head to her shoulder, studying him closely now.

"If I waited a while to change, I wouldn't look too much older than you, I think."

For a moment Edward thought he'd heard wrong. He replayed her last sentence in his head, three times, just to be sure.

"You...you've thought about...changing?" It was very unusual for Edward to stammer, but he hadn't thought she would think about changing yet, not with everything else he'd given her to consider. He'd thought it would be something for later on, down the track somewhere, when they'd been together a little while – if she even considered it at all.

"I'm still trying to get my mind around the idea of eternity," she said quietly. "And the thing is, I like my life right now. I like having my own place, I like my independence and I'm enjoying my classes. And I like my friends. I know that after we graduate we'll all go our separate ways and things will change, but right now, it's all good. And I get the feeling that if I changed it would be like having to start all over again."

"It would," Edward nodded. "It would be exactly like starting all over again." He remembered his own disorienting beginnings, trying to master his strength, and his thirst; one minute learning the best way to bring down his prey and drain it without losing a drop, and the next minute learning how to move and act like a human. "There's a reason it's called the newborn phase," he added.

"And I'm not ready for that," Bella said. "Not yet. But one day - after graduation? If you can wait?" Her eyes were hopeful and Edward's breath stilled in his chest. She wanted forever. With him.

"I can wait," he whispered.

Then he sat up, fast, and hugged her. His arms wrapped around her and he pulled her into a mighty bear hug that was just pure, unbridled happiness and made her laugh.

"I can wait," he told her again and his voice was muffled in her hair. "I'll wait forever."

"I think that would kind of defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?" she giggled.

He started laughing too. "I suppose it would."

He pulled back and held her face between his hands.

"There's no hurry," he said. "Whenever you're ready...and if you ever decide you don't want to..."

She slowly shook her head. She took his hands from her face and held them between hers.

"I don't think I've come to these decisions in the last few days, Edward, or even in the last couple of weeks since you crossed the road and asked me to go for a walk with you. I think this decision was made back in Forks...from the moment I saw you in the cafeteria and couldn't stop staring."

"And you frustrated me with your silent mind," he grinned.

"Frustrated? I thought you said you were intrigued."

He sank back down into her lap - his new favourite place.

"I was intrigued. And frustrated. And confused. I felt like I wanted to put myself between you and the rest of the world and I couldn't understand why. But I do now."

"In one way or another I've thought of you every day since the cafeteria," Bella said. "Sometimes just a fleeting, barely-there thought that came from nowhere, sometimes more. But every day." She traced his lips and he kissed her finger. She leant her head back against the tree again. "I couldn't understand why. But I do now."

They were quiet now, and peaceful.

Edward lay in Bella's lap. The breeze washed over his skin, Bella's hand was soft in his. He closed his eyes and savoured.

But too soon the outside world began to intrude.

"Bella!"

A girl was running across the campus towards them, her thoughts were exasperated and flustered and though he tried Edward couldn't read them clearly.

"Clare!" Bella smacked herself in the forehead with her palm.

"What?" Edward got up quickly and helped Bella as she scrambled to her feet.

"We've got an oral presentation…" she looked at her watch. "Crap! In fifteen minutes."

Clare pulled to stop in front of them.

"I've been looking everywhere for you. Your phone's on voicemail…"

"Sorry," Bella said quickly. "Um, Clare, this is Edward, my boyfriend."

Edward smiled politely and said a quiet hello as he handed Bella her backpack. Clare was momentarily stunned, her flustered thoughts going into a deeper spin.

"Um. hi," she said awkwardly. "Um, okay, yeah, Bella, we were supposed to run over things ahead of class." She was talking to Bella but kept glancing at Edward. _Geez, where did she find him?_

"I know, I'm sorry," Bella answered her. "But it's okay, we've still got time. We can talk while we walk. We've pretty much got everything covered anyway."

She looked up at Edward. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I have to go. Clare and I are presenting together, I can't..."

"Don't apologize,," he smiled, then turned to Clare. "What's the topic?"

Clare struggled for a moment to find her tongue. "Rit…rituals in human sacrifice."

Edward's eyebrows shot up. "Sounds like fun."

"It's actually really interesting," Bella said and linked her fingers with his. "I have classes until three o'clock, but I can probably skip…"

Edward shook his head. He wouldn't let himself distract her from her studies.

"I'll see you after three. At home?"

Bella smiled and nodded. She kissed him again, quickly this time, on his cheek. He thought of offering to walk her to her class, but changed his mind. She needed the time to prepare with Clare. He would see her later. At home. But he stayed where he was and watched her walk away.

She turned back three times to smile at him before she disappeared into the History building.

-0-

Edward's mind was a whirl as he headed back to his car.

Bella wanted him. She loved him. And if she was still trying to get her head around eternity, he was still trying to get his head around reality. A new reality where he was loved for who he was. He grinned as he tossed his keys into the air and caught them again in an elaborate swoop.

He ran over their conversation again, revelling in her words, her expressions, the touches and smiles.

He called his family and told them his news and after enjoying their congratulations and excitement and requests that he bring Bella to Vermont as soon as possible, he headed for the grocery store. He needed to restock the kitchen for her and he knew his bread would be stale by now and the milk would be off. He thought he should probably get some fruit too. She liked fruit. And pasta. And tea. And cheese.

His mental shopping list grew longer.

But on the way to the supermarket he took a detour and stopped first at Deakin's, one of the finest music stores in the city, and bought a piano.

It was pure impulse, an extravagant whim, especially when he had a perfectly good piano back in Vermont, but it was a long time since he'd played and even longer since he'd composed...and he was feeling inspired.

He was at Deakin's for about an hour, moving from instrument to instrument, trying them all, testing tone and touch with his head bent over the keys and his long fingers moving effortlessly. He played everything from Bach to the B52's, from Vivaldi to the Violent Femmes, all without sheet music, while the staff watched, and listened, amazed.

He dismissed the Steinway and the Yamaha, the Estonia and the Kawai and the Kohl. It came down to a choice between the Knabe and the Bosendorfer and Edward was aware that the store manager was almost hyperventilating with anticipation - either choice would mean Space Camp for all three of his kids this summer.

In the end Edward chose the Bosendorfer. The sales girl's hand shook a little as she swiped his credit card, she'd never processed a sale so large, and the manager disappeared into the back room to silently punch the air and perform a brief air guitar victory solo.

When the manager returned Edward said he knew it was short notice, but would it be possible for the piano to be delivered that afternoon. The manager assured him that it would.

As Edward made to leave the store something caught his eye, tucked away in a corner. He smiled, his eyes found the price tag and he pulled out his wallet as he walked back to the counter.

"I'll take that too, please," he nodded towards the corner and the manager's eyes followed.

"The piano seat? Certainly, Mr Cullen. Or would you prefer something more modern? And adjustable? We have a large range..."

Edward put five one-hundred dollar notes on the counter and shook his head. The antique seat with the faded upholstery was almost identical to the one he'd had when he was human. And it was wide, plenty of room for two people to sit side by side.

"No. That one will be perfect, thank you," he smiled. "I'll expect it with the piano."

He was whistling _Brown Eyed Girl_ as he left the shop.

oo

A couple of hours later Edward carried a bag of groceries into his kitchen. He was still whistling but now it was _Lady Marmalade_. It had been playing on the car radio.

He put tea bags in the new canister marked Tea and set it on the kitchen counter.

He took the spaghetti from its packet and dropped it into the tall jar marked Pasta and put it beside the tea.

As Edward got to the chorus of the song he switched from whistling to singing, murmuring the words quietly to himself as he put the milk in the refrigerator.

"_Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir._.." His accent was perfect as he performed an elaborate juggle now with the cheese, the butter and a packet of ham slices. "_Voulez-vous coucher avec moi_..."

He stopped juggling, catching each item smoothly, and a soft smile stole over his lips. "Do you want to sleep with me tonight," he translated the lyrics.

He took a very long, deep breath as he stowed the food in the fridge and then pulled both his hands through his hair.

Was that the next step for them, he wondered? They had agreed to go slow. Bella had said once that they'd wait until he was ready...

Was he ready _now_?

Was _she_ ready now?

Had his news changed things?

He didn't think so, not by the way she'd kissed him that morning, but Edward would never assume.

He leant back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest.

Of course he wanted to take Bella to bed.

He wanted to make love to her, and he'd told her on Sunday that it was possible for them and he believed that. He knew he would have to be so very careful with every touch, every move, but those few times when he'd been alone with his thoughts of her, when he had let go and his body had given in to his heart...those times had given him some idea of what to expect.

Although he knew that with Bella it would be more. So much more.

His body began to stir at just the thought. He looked out the window at the vine that grew over the fence and began counting its leaves, and then the veins in each leaf. Slowly, his desire began to fade. Though if he was honest, his desire for Bella was never very far from the surface.

They weren't married, but he had the feeling marriage wasn't high on Bella's agenda - he remembered her reaction to him telling her about Rose and Emmett's wedding. Once it would have bothered him, the idea of sex outside wedlock, but times had changed, he decided. And he had changed. And though he would marry Bella in a heartbeat, he knew there were other ways to commit to her.

He took a deep breath. He unfolded his arms, curled his fingers around the edge of the counter and stared at his feet.

He thought.

And after a moment he smiled.

He _was_ ready now.

If she was.

He would let her lead, they'd move at her pace. It would always be Bella's decision.

He started singing quietly again, a different song this time, as he put away the bread and the apples.

-0-

At three thirty that afternoon Bella sat at Edward's kitchen counter while her stomach rumbled and he prepared to make her something to eat.

"Just a ham and cheese sandwich is fine, really," she said as he stared, frowning into the refrigerator. "Or I could just go home and make something…"

"No," Edward shook his head, determined, as he studied the contents of his shelves. "I want to do this. I bought groceries this morning." If he'd looked over his shoulder at that moment he would have seen Bella smiling a very soft, indulgent smile.

"Thank you," she murmured quietly.

"My pleasure."

He assembled the sandwich very carefully. He cut it in half diagonally, set it on a plain, white plate from the crockery cupboard and handed it to Bella with a frown.

"I hope it's okay."

Apart from cups of tea this was the first food Edward had ever actually made for her. Sure, there had been some instant meals he'd heated up for her when she first came home from hospital, but he knew that peeling back foil covers and hitting a couple of buttons on the microwave didn't really count.

Bella took a bite and smiled. "It's good," she mumbled. "Really good." She reached across the counter and Edward instantly took hold of her hand. His thumb stroked over her knuckles. It felt so good, having her there, with no secrets between them.

He pulled up a stool and asked about her presentation on human sacrifice. She asked him about his day, and while he talked about his family's delight, and the trip to the supermarket, he didn't tell her about the piano - he thought he'd like to surprise her with that.

He made her a cup of tea and she asked him more about being a vampire. Her questions were intelligent and thoughtful - about his diet and about the techniques he and his family used to stay undetected and Edward answered honestly and openly.

He told her he preferred carnivores in general and mountain lions in particular. He explained how he and his family were all well-versed in computer hacking and regularly changed school records and university files; how they always waited at least two generations before living in the same place twice and how they sometimes changed names and had multiple forms of ID. He showed her the three driver's licences in his wallet.

"There's something else I want to ask," she said when she'd finished her tea. Her cheeks began to colour and Edward leant forward, wondering why she was shy now.

"You can ask me anything," he said gently. "I'll answer."

Bella nodded, and took a breath. "Well, you said on Sunday that we could make love."

Edward couldn't help but smile. She had been thinking about it too.

"Yes," he answered.

"I'm assuming it's the same as..." she trailed off, making a vague gesture in the air with her hand, and Edward smiled again.

"Yes, it's the same."

"So my scent wouldn't be a problem if we were that close?"

He shook his head slowly.

"Your scent means something different to me now," he explained. "It means you're really here with me, and it triggers very different feelings and reactions than it did before."

"But it burns you."

Edward didn't respond right away. It was true, her scent burned him, but if he was honest her scent didn't hurt him like it used to.

"It's not like it once was." He lifted her hand and kissed it. Then he ran his thumb over her knuckles. "Recently it's seemed softer...the burn is still there, but it's more like a smoulder now."

Bella was frowning. Her brows had made a small V between her eyes. "Why would that be?"

"I don't know."

"But, it would make it easier then, for you to be, um, close?"

"I don't think it would ever be difficult to be, um, close to you," he winked and smiled as he echoed her words. Bella bit her lip as her cheeks darkened. "I don't think easier is the word I'd use," he added.

Bella smiled as she gently took her hand from his.

"Bathroom," she muttered. "It's all the tea."

She hopped off her stool and tripped over her backpack that she'd left on the floor. Her books scattered across the tiles.

"I've got it," Edward told her and had gathered the books before she'd even bent down. She looked slightly startled as he stacked them on the counter.

"Is that how you move when I'm not around?"

"Sometimes," he smiled.

She blinked, nodded, had a bit of a laugh, told him moving like that would be handy for housework and then went upstairs.

Edward turned back to the books. On top of the stack was the volume about myths and traditions he had seen once before when it sat on the armrest of the chair in her apartment.

He began flicking through the pages and stopped when he got to the chapter on vampires because Bella had made some faint pencilled notes in the margin.

_...cold skin...pale...but what else...? _

Obviously this was when she'd been doing her research on him. Back when nothing fit, before she knew the truth about his kind.

His eyes drifted down to the section on incubi and succuba and he gave a rueful smile. There was a reproduction of a medieval ink sketch - a woman lay on a makeshift bed, dying an agonising death, watched by long-fingered, pointy-eared creatures with fangs, while a smaller, similar beast ripped and tore its bloody way out of her body.

Edward shook his head, but even as he dismissed the stories of monster births, morbid thoughts came creeping. Dark suspicion began to burn inside him.

Bella appeared at his side. She rested her head on his shoulder, her fingers ran over the back of his neck and Edward was distracted from his dark thoughts, but only for a moment.

"Ah," Bella said, looking down at the book. "The incubus and succubus."

Edward didn't speak; his mind was too busy sorting through the dark possibilities that were rapidly invading. From the corner of his eye he could see Bella look from the book, to him, then back to the book again. Suddenly, it seemed as though his silence spoke volumes.

Her body stiffened next to his and she said "Oh", very quietly, followed by "Edward, you're not thinking...?"

"I don't believe it can happen..., " Edward answered quickly but when he looked at her now his eyes were thoughtful, confused. "But I've just realised I don't know for certain that it _can't_." He frowned as he looked back at the sketch. "I know for a fact that female vampires can't reproduce with human men..." He thought of Tanya and her sisters. "We've always assumed it was the same for male vampires." There was a long silence. Neither of them moved. Then, Bella spoke.

"If female vampires can't...then it probably would be the same for male vampires. That would make sense. Wouldn't it?"

"But most myths are based on some form of truth…" he murmured, mulling over her own words from one of their first conversations.

"Yes, but the truth behind _this_ myth is that it was an explanation for birth abnormalities back when people didn't understand. Or it was sometimes used by unfaithful wives…how could a woman become pregnant if her husband had been away at war for a year…that sort of thing. They blamed the incubus."

Edward nodded slowly, still staring at the picture. "I know," he said. "I've never heard of it happening and I know Carlisle would have said something if he thought it was possible..." But Edward would never risk Bella in any way and now that there was even just the faintest shadow of doubt he could never...

"What about precautions?" Bella said suddenly and Edward looked up sharply and stared straight into her eyes.

She was serious.

She was blushing, but she was serious.

"Contraception," she clarified. "Just to be sure? Would that work?"

Edward blinked at her, incredulous.

"You would still consider..."

"Well, neither of us believes this would really happen," she pointed at the picture and frowned. He thought she might have shivered slightly, but couldn't be sure; the movement was so slight, even to his eyes. "But just in case."

Edward didn't know what to think. He weighed up Bella's words. His thoughts scattered, then regrouped, and suddenly he was wondering if he was going to be the first vampire in history to buy condoms.

He pulled his fingers through his hair, fisted his hand on top of his head and gave her a very shy smile.

"I suppose I could get some..." he began, but Bella was shaking her head so he stopped. "No?"

He wondered if he'd misunderstood, perhaps assumed too much, and his skin prickled with embarrassment now.

Bella's face was still scarlet but she met his eyes steadily.

"I'm on the pill."

"Oh." And Edward's hand dropped from his head. He blinked at her, surprised, and found himself wondering how long she'd been taking it.

And why.

And if it explained the change in her scent. He thought now it probably did.

Almost as if she'd read his mind, Bella answered his questions.

"I organised it while I was in hospital. I thought I'd be prepared...for whenever you felt you were ready." She began biting her lip. "Just in case," she whispered. "So, what do you think?"

_What did he think?_

Edward kept his eyes on hers. His fingers gently circled her wrist and he lifted her hand, kissing it gently as he looked at her through his lashes. Then he turned her hand over and kissed her palm, trailing his lips over her skin until he reached the inside of her wrist. His lips lingered there, touching softly over the veins that showed faintly through her skin. Bella gasped softly, bit into her lip and Edward watched her eyes widen and then flutter closed.

There was a sound from the street, then feet on the front steps and a knock at the door. Bella jumped, her eyes shot open.

"What's that?"

Edward gave her a crooked smile as he silently bemoaned the appalling timing of delivery men.

"That is my piano," he said.

-0-

The piano was set up in the dining room that Edward had never furnished and he played for Bella while she sat beside him on that seat that was wide enough for two.

"I can't believe you bought this," she laughed. "Today. Just like that?"

"Just like that," he grinned as his fingers flew over the keys. "Any requests?"

"Um, what can you play?"

"Anything."

"Anything?"

Edward spent the afternoon proving he could, indeed, play anything. Bella threw everything she had at him - classical, rock, jazz...Mozart, Debussy, Sinatra, Rolling Stones, Buddy Holly, Linkin Park...the themes from West Side Story and Cats.

She was impressed and told him so. And then she told him how Renee had wanted her to learn as a child but she had quit after four lessons.

"I wish I hadn't now, though," she murmured as she watched his fingers fly.

"I'll teach you," he grinned.

So he sat with his arms around her, his hands guiding hers, as they laughed and she tried to play Chopsticks.

"I can't!"

"Yes you can!"

And she did.

She mastered _Chopsticks_ and then _Mary Had a Little Lamb_ and the opening notes of _Silent Night_ and Edward applauded and cheered her first solo performance. She gave him an elaborate bow of her head.

"Now something else, something harder," he said. Arms around her again he began to guide her through _Fur Elise. _

"How old were you when you started playing?" she asked.

"Eight. You're supposed to be watching the keys."

"I'd rather watch you."

He smirked but kept his eyes down, his fingers still guiding hers.

"Was the piano in here back then?"

"No, this was the dining room. The piano was over in the corner where the entertainment unit is now."

Bella looked in that direction, through the doorway and across the hall.

"Did you practice every day?"

"Only under sufferance. I'd spend most of the time staring out the window wishing I was in my tree house."

She laughed. "You had a tree house?"

"In the oak in the corner of the garden. You can still see the nails in the trunk if you look."

Though she couldn't actually see that window from where she sat, Bella looked in its direction.

"You must have so many memories," she mused.

"They're not clear though," he answered, still watching their hands as he helped her fingers over the keys. "It's like looking through a mist, although some are clearer than others. Some fade all together. Sometimes things can help trigger the memory and bring it back. Like my photos."

"Or living here?"

"Yes, living here. I thought you were supposed to be playing too but I think I'm doing all the work here," he grinned and looked up at her.

"What was it like living here then?" she asked softly. Her eyes were deep and warm and curious.

"It was good." He gave up playing and put his hands in his lap. Obviously Bella wasn't interested in lessons right now. "I remember at Christmas there would be a big tree over there, beside the fireplace. One year I came downstairs and my father had set up a train track in a figure eight around its base. It was a clockwork train and it was already running around the track…" he smiled widely. "I was so excited and my mother let me eat my oatmeal while I sat on the floor beside it. It was the only time I was ever allowed to eat away from the table. Or in my pyjamas."

"How old were you?"

"I was seven."

"That's a happy memory."

"It is." But Edward's grin began to fade and he frowned a little. "Other memories have been harder, though," he admitted and he remembered her asking him once if it was difficult being back in his childhood home. Bella covered his hand with hers.

The dining room had two doorways and his eyes flickered to the other one now.

"The kitchen was the last place I saw my father," he said and finally let in the memory he'd been pushing away for weeks.

A September Saturday.

Morning.

His father had been going in to the office - he often did on Saturdays. Mary, the cook, didn't work on weekends so breakfast was simpler and served in the kitchen. Edward's father had sat in his suit, drinking coffee at the table. Edward had been late for a ball game. He had come rushing through the kitchen, grabbed an apple from the bowl and kissed his mother's cheek. She'd told him not to be too late. His father had told him not to let the screen door slam. But he did anyway. As he'd pushed his bike from the back of the house his father had called out _Play well, son!_ Edward had called out _thank you,_ but his father mightn't have heard him…Edward's mouth had been full of apple at the time. When he came home later that afternoon Edward Masen Sr had already taken to his sick bed and Edward wasn't allowed upstairs.

"The kitchen is very different now," he said quietly. Then he dropped his gaze back to his hands that sat in his lap. "I used to try not to think about my parents too much. I always imagined how horrified they would be by what I'd become."

"But now?" Bella asked gently.

Edward began a very slow smile. His mood started to lift again, and become lighter. These days he felt differently about things, his whole view had changed. His mother had asked Carlisle to save him. If it hadn't been for her, then Edward mightn't have Bella.

"Now I believe they'd just want me to be happy," he smiled. "And they'd be glad I'd met a girl I wanted to bring home."

Bella squeezed his arm. He kissed her cheek, nuzzled her ear, then turned back to the piano and began belting out a song that was bright and energetic and happy.

"What's that?" Bella laughed.

"Darktown Strutters Ball."

"I don't recognise it."

"It was big in 1918." He grinned at her.

"Can you sing, too?" she asked suddenly.

"I can."

"Of course you can." She rolled her eyes. "Will you sing something?"

"Only if you sing along with me."

"Oh no..." She shook her head.

"Please?"

He kissed her cheek as his fingers played and the song changed and morphed into _Born in the USA._

"Everyone knows this," he encouraged her. "Well, they know the chorus anyway." And then he began to sing.

His voice was good. Very good. And he gave the song the raw edge it needed.

Bella's jaw dropped.

"Come on," he grinned and she shook her head again.

"I can't compete with you," she said. So Edward began to sing off key. Badly off key.

"Is that better?" he asked.

But Bella was laughing too much to answer. And now he was laughing too much to sing. It took several minutes, and Bella nearly falling off the piano stool, before their laughter began to fade.

"You're funny," Bella whispered and rested her head against Edward's shoulder. He kissed her hair and began playing something new, something soft and rich, something she didn't know.

"What's this?" she asked.

"It doesn't have a name."

She tilted her head, looking up at him. "Did you write it?"

He nodded, his eyes on his fingers. "For you," he said softly.

He heard Bella's breathing hitch. She was very still, barely breathing as played. His fingers moved smoothly, almost tenderly over the keys, the soft melody swirled around them. When he finished he put his hands in his lap.

"That was beautiful," Bella whispered. "Thank you."

He turned to her, saw the tears in her eyes.

"You're very welcome."

She nestled closer and they sat, still and quiet. She put her hand on his thigh. Her fingers gently squeezed and pressed.

The sky had grown dark. Outside the street was quiet. Edward covered her hand with his.

"Will you stay?" he asked her.

His heart sang when she said yes.

oo

In Edward's bathroom the steam swirled and curled around them as the tub filled.

Their hands, their lips, were slow as they gently undressed each other. Bella's soft gasp carried on the steam as Edward's belt fell to the floor, followed by his jeans.

His eyes drank her in, adoring her, as each layer came away until she stood, bare and beautiful, smiling shyly before him. Edward was speechless, and utterly at her mercy. He could have fallen to his knees, he had ached for this, _for her_, for so long...

He reached for her, pulling her gently into his arms and holding her to him, hoping she wouldn't mind the cold for a moment.

She didn't seem to.

Her arms wound around his waist and she moaned as he ran tiny kisses along her shoulder, her collarbone and down to her breasts where his tongue began to gently explore. When Bella's knees began to sway Edward lifted her into his arms and stepped gracefully into the bath.

The warm water lapped the sides and spilt onto the floor as they settled in. They sat face to face, chest against chest, legs and arms around each other and no space between them. They stared into each other's eyes as they let the water warm Edward's body.

They kissed. Small, soft kisses on lips and throats and shoulders.

They held each other, touching, pleasing...gentle caresses that explored and discovered, eliciting sighs and moans. Edward felt like there was lightning in his veins.

Her lips on Edward's ear, Bella softly whispered..._please... _

In a single, flawless move Edward cradled her to him, stood up and stepped onto the floor. The water ran from his skin, puddling around his feet on the tiles. He took the oversized towel and draped it around them as he carried Bella to his bed.

She lay on his sheets, her hair spread across his pillows.

_His_ Bella.

_His._

Her eyes were blazing as she reached for him. He joined her, pressing his now-warm body close to hers, feeling her along the length of him, tangling his legs with hers. They touched and kissed and whispered _I love you _and then Bella curled her legs and arms around him and Edward took her...slowly, so slowly, so gently, drowning in her eyes that were full of love and wonder as he gave himself to her and made her his.

He could feel her in every cell of his body.

His breath shuddered in his chest, his body trembled. Their eyes locked as he touched his forehead to hers, keeping himself still, savouring this moment, this _first_ precious moment that would never come again.

And Bella's lips formed a perfect, breathless _oh... _

He kissed her softly as she whispered his name...and then Edward could be still no longer.

His eyes closed and... oh dear Lord, the pleasure…the pure, almost excruciating, pleasure. It spread through him, a slow, exquisite burn that licked at him from the inside so every cell was on fire.

He bit hard into his lip as his body began a slow, sacred rhythm that was as natural as it was new.

Beneath him Bella moaned his name, her hands clutched him tighter as his hips met hers...over and over and over...a steady, rocking, pulsing cadence that strengthened and deepened and climbed until she was shuddering and arching and crying his name…and Edward lost himself. Coiled tight and climbing higher he threw back his head and roared as he shattered and touched the sun.

He was blinded by its light.

His world spiralled and span.

And then, trembling, he felt himself fall slowly back to earth.

Breathless and spent, he curled himself gently around the woman who held him like she would never let him go.

oo

He felt like butter that had been left in the sun.

He melted into Bella, his face in her neck, his leg draped over hers, holding her against him as he lay still now, and quiet.

Little by little Bella's pounding heart calmed in her chest. Edward blew gentle breaths over her skin that glistened. He lifted his head and looked into her eyes and they told him everything he needed to know.

He smiled.

And his body almost hurt with happiness.

Bella pulled him into a kiss that was tender and slow and told of the new intimacy between them. She wound her fingers gently in his hair while he wound his arms tighter around her body. And he knew he would never let her go.

oo

In the morning he brought her breakfast in bed.

Scrambled eggs on toast with orange juice. Freshly squeezed.

She kissed him and he laid beside her, propped up on his elbow, grinning as he watched her eat.

They showered together and in the warm water he lifted her and they made love again. They dried each other with the oversized towels. He sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed while she dressed, and he threw himself back on the pillows, laughing, when she pounced on him and attacked his neck and naked chest and stomach with kisses. Then she asked if she could wear one of his shirts to school.

"Only if I get to take it off again when you come home," he answered.

Bella promised him he could.

He didn't want her to go to school. She wanted to stay home with him.

But he drove her to class and spent a long time kissing her goodbye, and then wondered what to do with himself in a world that seemed so entirely different and new.

He decided to go for a run.

And then he would buy an electric blanket.

-0-

Edward's bliss extended well beyond that glorious night and the wondrous next morning.

In the week that followed they made love. A lot.

He cooked for her, sometimes successfully, sometimes not.

He drove her to school and back. He would drop her at work and pick her up again afterwards.

She'd sit in his lap while they watched television. They'd lay together as they listened to music.

He'd smile at the way she frowned when she studied.

He'd read her essays and give his opinion – sometimes it was accepted, sometimes not.

They went to a movie.

And a nightclub with her friends to celebrate Nicola's birthday. Edward had stood behind Bella, drawn up to his full height with his arms curled possessively around her waist while he tried to ignore the admiring thoughts of the young men who surreptitiously looked her up and down. He had been glad when it was time to go home.

And they walked to Garfield Park again, where it all started.

"I still can't skim stones," Bella shrugged as her pebble sank to the bottom of the lake. Then she rolled her eyes as Edward's skimmed gracefully across the surface, dancing over the water.

"I've been wondering…" he said suddenly, and then stopped. Bella encouraged him with a nod, and he wondered if it was too soon to ask. But if he didn't ask soon he had the feeling Alice would just turn up on the doorstep. "Would you like to meet my family sometime?"

Bella hesitated.

"You don't have to," he began but she was shaking her head.

"It's not that," she said. "I want to. I'm just thinking…I know Carlisle was very accepting, and so kind, but the others…"

It took a second for her words to register and then Edward was laughing – a full-on belly laugh that had him thrown back in the grass, shaking all over.

"What?" Bella was trying to look annoyed but not quite managing it. He was too adorable when he was like this.

"Oh, Bella…" he sighed as he sat up and pulled her into his lap. "If you only knew." He tucked her hair behind her ears. "My family have been waiting for me to find someone for nearly ninety years. Believe me, they'll approve. In fact, you could have two heads and four noses, and they'd still approve."

Bella was laughing too now. "Well, I hope they won't be disappointed then," she said. "I only have one of each after all."

-0-

They left Chicago around six o'clock the following Friday. Edward was excited and Bella was nervous, but that was to be expected. He'd been nervous too when he'd met Charlie in the hospital. As they headed out of the city Edward's phone beeped. He smiled as he texted a quick response to the message.

"Esme wants to know if you like lasagne," he said.

"Esme's cooking for me?" Bella looked up, aghast, and Edward felt a moment's panic.

"You don't like lasagne? I thought you did."

"I do, but…," her voice trailed off and she bit her lip. Edward frowned and wondered what she was thinking. He studied her face, the slight frown that puckered her forehead. Was she worried about how it would taste? No, not that, he decided. Thanks to some help from the Food Network he'd made her beef stroganoff the night before and she'd said it was delicious, so she knew vampires could cook. But if not that, then what had her so…oh…

"You're worried that they're going to too much trouble for you."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Am I that obvious, or can you read my mind now, too?"

Edward smiled. "You're that obvious."

She chuckled. "It's just I know cooking isn't in their normal routine and I don't want…" she paused and Edward could see she was ticking something over in her mind. After a moment she smiled and shook her head. Her eyes shone as she looked up at him.

"It's so kind of them to welcome me that way."

Edward grinned back at her as he changed gear. "You didn't really think they'd invite you into their home and not feed you, did you?"

"No, of course not." She grinned. "And I love lasagne. Do you think Esme will sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top?"

Edward took out his phone again and quickly typed a new message. "All organised," he smiled. "So, you love lasagne? I thought you loved me."

"Only if you sprinkle yourself with Parmesan cheese."

Edward smirked. "I could probably organise that too."

He took Bella's hand in his. Then he changed gear, hit the accelerator, and hit the night roads on the way to Vermont. He was bringing his girlfriend home to meet his family.

**A/N: This chapter was originally very long, almost twenty thousand words, so I've split it in two. The next chapter is already complete and will be up tomorrow, I promise.**

**Huge thank you to Melanie who helped with the song selection and suggested Brown Eyed Girl for Edward to whistle - perfect choice I think.**

**Thank you Isabel - growly Edward will be up next.**

**And thank you so much to everyone who is reading and reviewing and recommending this story. I appreciate it more than I can say. If I've not responded to your review yet, I'm sorry, I'm trying hard to get to everyone, but please know I appreciate every single one.**

**Thank you :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Edward's family were gathered in their elegant living room as Edward and Bella came through the front door. The Cullen coven was complete - Rose and Emmett had returned from their honeymoon just the night before. And the Cullens' thoughts were loud and clear and excited and belied their seemingly calm, serene exteriors.

Edward could hear the nervous thrum of Bella's heart. He squeezed her hand and bumped his shoulder gently against hers. He was glad when she smiled up at him and her body relaxed a little. He winked, smiled, let go her hand and wrapped his arm around her, bringing her closer to him. Then he stood up tall and started the introductions.

"Bella, I'd like you to meet my family." He pointed them out by name, and would have given almost anything to know what she was thinking at that moment. He took careful note of her reactions, looking for signs of fear or unease as each member of his family greeted her. He wanted so much for her to feel comfortable and welcome and in all his excitement he hadn't realised until this moment that he was nervous, too.

Carlisle came forward first. He shook Bella's hand and told her how lovely it was to see her again and that she was looking well.

Esme came next, her beaming smile was warm and welcoming and she said how delighted she was that Bella had come. She offered her hand slowly, cautiously, and Bella didn't hesitate to take it. _She's lovely Edward, and how she looks at you..._, Esme thought.

Emmett offered a grin, a wave and a hearty, "Welcome Bella".

Rosalie gave a thin smile and a vague nod. _I still don't know if this is a good idea, but I'll play nice. _Edward acknowledged her thoughts with a small incline of his head.

From across the room Jasper smiled and nodded and said a polite, if slightly formal, "Pleased to meet you." His eyes were the lightest amber and Edward knew he'd probably hunted just hours before. _She's nervous Edward, but in a normal way…she's not scared… _Jasper picked up on Bella's mood and sent his thoughts Edward's way. Edward thanked him with a smile and a nod.

And then came Alice, bright and bouncing and Bella started slightly as she was wrapped suddenly in the dainty vampire's careful hug.

The Cullens stared and Edward glared but his sister just rolled her eyes at him as Bella relaxed and tentatively hugged her back.

"I'm so glad you're here," Alice beamed. "I can't wait for us to get to know each other." She flashed Edward a vision of her and Bella sitting on the front porch talking.

"Um, thanks," Bella smiled back shyly. "I'm looking forward to that too."

And then there was the slightly awkward silence that follows when the introductions are finished and no-one is sure what to do or say next.

"Why don't you take Bella upstairs to your room?" Esme broke the silence. "It's been a long drive, I'm sure she'd like to relax."

Edward turned to Bella, grinning like a teenager. "Wanna see my room?"

She laughed. "Sure." Then she smiled around at his family. "It's lovely to meet you all. Thank you for inviting me."

"It's lovely to have you here," Carlise assured her and Alice nodded enthusiastically.

"Keep that bedroom door open, kids," Emmett smirked and Edward rolled his eyes as he guided Bella towards the stairs.

"That wasn't too bad was it?" he whispered very softly as they climbed the stairs to the second floor. "Sorry about Emmett."

"It was good," she whispered eagerly. "And Emmett's fine. They seem really lovely, just like you said. And accepting."

"Told you," Edward grinned.

When they reached the room at the end of the hall Edward opened the door with a flourish.

"A four poster bed?" Bella turned to him surprised, as they stood on the threshold.

He had ordered the bed and linen online and it had been delivered just the day before. Esme and Alice had put it all together.

"I know you have stuff for appearances, but a four poster?" Bella narrowed her eyes a little. "This is for me, isn't it?"

"I wasn't going to have you sleep on my couch," Edward answered. "And anyway, the couch isn't wide enough for two, so the bed's as much for me as it is for you." He winked and then laughed as she blushed crimson. He pulled her closer and nuzzled her cheek. "But yes, it's for you, because you told me once that you had always wanted to sleep in a bed like this." It had been a silly, rambling, late-night conversation about furniture that had covered Edward's almost passionate dislike for bean bags and Bella's secret love of four-poster beds.

"Are you making my dreams come true?" she giggled.

"I'm trying."

He touched her cheek and she turned her face to kiss his finger tips. "The bed is beautiful, thank you, Edward."

"You're very welcome."

They were still standing in the doorway so now Edward tugged Bella gently into the room.

She was surprised to find bubble bath and shower gel and fancy aromatic soaps in the shapes of lotus flowers in his bathroom.

"You like flower soaps?" she teased.

"That's Esme and Alice," he said.

Bella smiled. "That's so thoughtful," she said as she moved back into the bedroom. "But do you think they're disappointed about my missing extra head?" She cocked her head to her shoulder and Edward chuckled. She smiled at him as she straightened up again.

"Although, I got the feeling that Rosalie ..." she began.

"Rosalie takes a while to warm up," Edward said quickly. "Don't worry about her. I'm still waiting for her to warm up to me…it's only been eighty odd years."

"Oh, okay then," she laughed. "And Jasper, he seems wary? Is that because he's, er, new?"

"It is. He's just being cautious. Which is good."

Bella nodded. Her eyes wandered to his shelves. "Can I look around?"

"Be my guest." He was leaning against one of the bed posts now, arms across his chest, watching her as she explored his room.

She looked along the rows and rows of music that filled an entire wall. He only had cd's in Chicago, but here he had his full collection that included vinyl record albums going back to the 1930's.

And then there were his books.

Bella spent a long time studying the volumes on the shelves that reached from floor to ceiling.

There were the pictures on his wall - original artworks, an expensive, eclectic collection of modern and classic that somehow pulled together and worked.

Edward smiled as he watched Bella, her fingers trailing over the spines of his books, over his music, studying his paintings. There was a battered trophy cup on a shelf and she read the inscription.

"Debating champion 1951?"

"Don't look surprised," he chuckled. "I've been known to hold my own in an argument."  
"Oh, I'm sure you have," Bella smirked. "What were you debating? The existence of the Loch Ness Monster?"

Edward rolled his eyes but his lips were smiling. "I didn't think that needed debating. So, does the room pass inspection?" he teased her as she came back to him and stood between his legs. He smiled when she told him it did.

Alice appeared in the doorway and offered to take Bella on a tour of the house.

"There's more to see than just Edward's room," she smiled.

So while Bella went with Alice Edward returned to the living room and spent a little time with the rest of his family.

Esme was almost bursting with happiness for him. She smiled and hugged him. "She's beautiful, Edward. You look so good together. Oh, do you think she's hungry?"

Edward thought Bella probably _was_ hungry. He was still getting used to thinking about meal times and he frowned now and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.

"I should have offered her something when we arrived," he said. But he'd been too excited to remember.

"We have bacon. And eggs," Carlisle suggested. "Would she like some?"

"I think she would." Edward started towards the kitchen but Esme stopped him.

"Leave it to us," she smiled and she and Carlisle disappeared into the kitchen.

Rosalie had joined Alice and Bella upstairs now and Edward was eavesdropping as he drifted over to the sofa where Emmett sat. Alice seemed to be doing all the talking, Bella was answering Alice's questions, and Rosalie made the occasional comment - but at least she was making an effort. Their shouting match on the phone three weeks earlier had obviously had an effect, Edward thought.

Emmett was loading his latest video game into the console.

"I got this last week in Finland," he explained, grinning. "Battle Blade - the Final Assault."

"You were in Finland?"

"Yeah, you can only spend so long at Niagara Falls." He picked up the remote and flicked on the enormous flatscreen. "Bella seems cool. You seem happy."

"She is cool. I am happy."

"You really think it'll work?"

"Yeah, I do."

Emmett nodded. "Then I'm glad for you."

Edward had often admired Emmett's simple, honest outlook on the world and had sometimes wished he could be the same. There had been times when it would have made his existence a lot easier. He smiled now at his brother.

"Thanks, Em."

"No probs." Emmett was focused on the screen, scrolling through the set-up menu.

"So...how was the honeymoon?" Edward asked conversationally as he sank into the sofa.

"Fine, good," Emmett answered. Then a wide smirk spread across his face. "How was yours?" The innuendo was thick and he wiggled his eyebrows as Edward rolled his eyes.

Civilised conversation was obviously over.

"I haven't had a honeymoon," he glared.

"As good as, I'd say." Emmett chuckled.

"If you think I'm going to discuss that with you... "

"You don't need to," Emmett shrugged. And through Emmett's thoughts Edward could suddenly see what the others had seen when he'd introduced Bella to his family - his hand holding hers tenderly, his thumb brushing caresses over her palm; his arm around her, fingers spread protectively over her hip as she'd nestled into his side; how his hand had restedlow on the small of her back as he'd guided her to the stairs.

They were just small touches, true, and they had been intended to soothe and calm, but they were also the mark of intimacy. Touches that would only come from a lover.

Edward looked down at his shoes, not sure whether to smile or feel embarrassed or shy.

He opted for smile.

Then he looked up at Emmett, expecting more inevitable innuendo from his brother, more ribald humour, but Emmett was already engrossed in his game, his mind focused now on blasting whatever aliens got in his path of his blade.

Edward chuckled.

"What?" Emmett looked up.

"Nothing. I'm just glad there's no more innuendo about my sex life."

"Nope." Emmett looked back at the screen. "I'm just glad you've got one."

"You're a lot more relaxed," Jasper joined the conversation. He sat in the armchair, picked up a joystick and began blasting his own aliens. "I noticed it right away when you came in."

"Well, he would be more relaxed, wouldn't he," Emmett snorted. "It's been long enough."

Edward punched him in the arm.

"Ow!"

"Give me one of those," Edward snapped and grabbed a spare joystick. "Which aliens am I shooting?"

"The blue ones."

oo

After Edward had slaughtered a few thousand aliens and blown up their base, and Bella had chatted with Esme while she ate her bacon and eggs, he took her on a tour of the gardens which started, of course, with an inspection of the garage.

And his car.

"It's a very nice car." Bella ran her fingers over the hood of the Aston Martin Vanquish.

"Very nice?" Edward was almost hurt by her understatement.

"I mean, it's great. I love the colour."

"The colour?"

Edward rolled his eyes, and then started chuckling. He draped his arm around her shoulders.

"Yes, I like the colour too," he said.

Bella laughed with him but then her eyes were drawn to the back corner of the garage. She smiled.

"It's Jasper's. You like motorbikes?" Edward asked, surprised.

"I've never ridden a real one," she said. Edward wondered if he could hear a trace of longing in her voice. "But Atticus hired one of those motor scooters when we were in Paris. We spent a day riding around the city and that was great fun." The memory made her smile wider.

Edward felt a short, sharp stab of jealousy as he imagined Bella laughing, having fun with her arms wrapped around the handsome, dark-haired Atticus as they'd no doubt circled the Arc de Triomph in the sunshine.

Edward knew he had no reason to be jealous but still...

He stared down at the ground, scuffed at the concrete floor with his shoe, rubbing at a small spot of oil there while he waited for the stab to pass. He felt Bella's fingers under his chin and looked up.

She had her head cocked to her shoulder. "That doesn't bother you, does it?"

"No," he answered immediately, then shrugged. "Maybe. Yes. I don't know."

"Oh, Edward " She shook her head and wrapped her arms around his waist as hard as she could, squeezing him to her. He hugged her back, resting his cheek on the top of her head. "It was the riding I was smiling about," she said. "Not Atticus. "

Edward rubbed his hands over her back. "I know," he replied. And he did know, really. And he also knew that Bella had had a life before him and he couldn't get sulky or jealous when that life came up. It was part of her, after all. He bent his head and kissed her softly. "I know."

He hugged her close and he felt her smiling against him.

"You had fun," he said. "And I'm glad you did."

"I've wondered since then what it what it would be like to ride a real motorbike." Her voice was muffled against him, he could feel her warm, sweet breath through the linen of his shirt, washing over his skin. "You know," she went on, "…out in the open, not just around a city." Her fingers were making circles on his shirt, over his heart. "Have you ever ridden?"

Edward had actually owned a bike for a while in the 1950's and told Bella so. She grinned at him, excited.

"So maybe one day we could get a bike and go riding..." she suggested.

"Maybe we could," he smiled. "It'd be fun."

He shifted, leaning back against the car and pulling Bella to stand between his open legs. Slowly he leant backwards, over the hood, pulling her on top of him as he lips ran over her throat.

"Aren't you worried about the car?" she gasped. "Or is this a fantasy of yours?"

"It is now."

He could have gone on kissing her there, like that, all day, but he stopped a moment later when Alice came swiftly out of the house and her thoughts sent Edward into a panic.

"Shit!" He moved quickly out of the garage, heading across the lawn, pulling Bella behind him.

"Edward? What's wrong?"

Alice was wide-eyed as she met them halfway to the house.

"They decided to come back, just to say another goodbye. I didn't see them before only now," she said. "But I think it'll okay, I don't see any problems," she added.

Edward gave a curt nod as Jasper joined his wife.

"I'll go meet them in the woods," he said but Alice shook her head.

"It's too late, they're already here."

"Come with me," Edward muttered and pulled Bella quickly into the house. He shut the door with a slam and let her go so he could pull both his hands through his hair.

"What's wrong? What is it?" Bella's voice was verging on panic now. She was hugging herself and her eyes were huge. Edward worried now that he'd scared her.

"I'm sorry…" he took a deep, slow breath as Bella watched him. Through the window he saw Esme and Carlisle, Rosalie and Emmett join Alice and Jasper on the lawn. His family were presenting a united front to keep Bella safe.

"It's friends of Jasper's," Edward exhaled slowly. "Peter and Charlotte. They came to the wedding and then headed off north for a while. They're coming back now and they thought they'd drop by and see Jasper again before they head south. They don't see him, or any of us, very often."

Bella blinked at him as she slowly began to realise.

"They're not like you, are they?"

"No," he answered. "But don't be scared," he added quickly. "They won't hurt you. They'd never get through the seven of us. And anyway... " he gave an apologetic shrug and a grimace. "It would be rude."

Bella blanched a little. "Rude? Oh, okay." She hugged herself a little tighter. "Um, so if it's okay then why all the panic?"

"Because they _are_ vampires and you _are_ human. We don't want to put temptation in their path."

A second later there were voices from outside on the lawn. Jasper was explaining rapidly about Bella. Peter and Charlotte were apologetic but surprised. A relationship with a human? How was that possible? But of course they would leave straight away, they wouldn't have come if they'd known, they hoped they hadn't caused any problems. _A human? Really? But then, Edward has always seemed different...strange._

Edward listened to the thoughts, and the conversation that was too fast for Bella to hear.

"They're here now, aren't they?" she whispered and Edward nodded. He was surprised when she asked if she could take a look. "Just from the window? Would that be alright?"

Edward hesitated.

"Please? If I'm going to be part of your life…"

Reluctantly, Edward agreed. "Just from the window."

Bella shifted the curtain aside just a little and Peter caught the movement. His head swivelled quickly, unnaturally, in her direction and his blood red eyes met hers.

Bella gasped. She dropped the curtain like she'd just been stung and Edward gently pulled her away from the window and into his arms. She buried her head against him as he watched Peter turn away again, slowly now.

They sat on the sofa, holding hands. Bella's were shaking.

"His eyes," she whispered as she stared into Edward's.

"He won't hurt you," he said. "They're leaving now. Jasper's going with them to the border."

"His eyes," Bella said again. Her own eyes darted quickly, back and forth, between Edward's. "You told me...the red...they've just fed, haven't they?" Her voice was higher now, and strained. "Oh God, they've just killed someone." Her hands flew to her mouth, her eyes were wide and terrified. Edward nodded slowly. He didn't know what to say. "How recently?" Bella whispered between her fingers.

"Within the last twenty four hours," he answered quietly, honestly.

She shuddered hard and shut her eyes. "And they're going to kill more people, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are."

She nodded. Her eyes opened, she dropped her hands into her lap and stared at them.

"And I know that. Someone has just died, and someone else is going to die, and I just have to let it happen. There's nothing I can do." Her voice was small, she sounded lost. And scared. Edward felt like he was being torn apart from the inside and silently cursed Peter and Charlotte's unexpected appearance.

"Are you alright?"

Bella gulped a couple of breaths. "I think I need a moment."

"Do you want to go? I can take you home." In the two minutes it took Bella to answer Edward tortured himself with all the worst possible scenarios behind her silence – this would be it, she wouldn't want to change now; no, worse, she wouldn't want him anymore, she'd leave him; Peter and Charlotte had well and truly scared her off, and he couldn't blame her.

But then, in the middle of his torment, Bella shook her head.

"No," she said.

"No?" No _what?_

"I want to stay."

Edward wondered if it was wrong of him to feel so relieved when the woman he loved was clearly so distressed. But then he decided not to think about it too much and instead just concentrated on Bella.

He pulled her into his arms, and his lap, cradling her there and kissing her temple. His hand rubbed soothing strokes over her back. They sat that way for a long time, in pure silence. Her pounding heart slowly began to ease. Eventually, she spoke.

"I know I shouldn't be so disturbed. I mean, I know what vampires do..."

"You wouldn't be human if you weren't disturbed by it."

"But it's just the way it is, isn't it…like sharks." She stopped. "I don't mean...you..."

"I know," Edward soothed.

"But, if I changed, my eyes would be like that too, right?"

Her question was completely unexpected – Edward wondered how she could even be thinking about that right now. He made sure his honest answer was gentle.

"Only for a while," he said. "Only at first. It would take about a year for them to look like mine."

"But if I changed, I'd want to kill people, wouldn't I?"

Her words cut through him sharper than any knife.

"You would want human blood, yes."

Bella nodded and looked to the window where she'd locked eyes with Peter.

"But you wouldn't let me hurt anyone, would you?"

"No."

"And I'd learn control, like you, and your family."

"Yes. "

"You'd be with me?"

"Every moment."

She was silent again and Edward didn't know what to think. After a while he asked once more if she was alright.

"I am," she said and her voice was stronger now. "It was just...really confronting. And scary. But I'm glad it happened. I think I needed to get that hit of reality." She was frowning now. "Although Peter and Charlotte, they're just one version of reality, aren't they? It doesn't have to be that way...you're proof of that."

Edward nodded. "It doesn't have to be that way." He ran his hand up and down her arm. Her body relaxed some more. "But you know you don't have to change," he said after a while. "You can stay human."

When Bella looked at him Edward was surprised at the loving, indulgent smile she wore now. She touched his cheek.

"And leave you behind when I go? I don't think so," she whispered.

Edward's body almost sagged with relief, he burned with love and with admiration at the strength of the woman in his arms.

He turned his face and kissed Bella's palm. She smiled.

"Where's your family?" she looked around suddenly. "I've just realised we're alone."

"They're giving us some space."

"Giving _me _some space, you mean."

Edward shrugged a shoulder. She was right. "They didn't want you to feel uncomfortable after..."

Bella shook her head. "I do feel comfortable with them. They should come back."

"They will, soon enough."

Edward put on some music – a light, happy piece that he hoped would brighten the mood.

He made Bella a cup of tea.

He picked a random conversation topic and told her about the time, twenty three years earlier, when he'd had to play the piano at a high school Christmas concert and how he'd glared at the drama teacher and refused to wear the required elf costume.

"What did you say?"

"I asked her if she'd ever seen an elf who was six feet two."

Bella snorted her tea. It burned. And while Edward raced to get her napkins and fussed over whether she was alright and could she still inhale properly, she reached out and stroked his face.

"Thank you," she whispered.

Edward cocked his head, genuinely puzzled.

"For the napkins?"

Bella giggled. "Actually, yes. The napkins. And the funny story. And the tea. And the music. Everything." She sat back, shifting deep into the plush, squashy sofa cushions. Edward joined her. "Did the costume have pointy shoes?"

"Of course. And they curled at the toes. And there was a pointy hat, and pointy plastic ears."

Bella was giggling. "And bells?"

"Everything had bells - shoes, hat, coat."

"Ears?"

"Not the ears," he chuckled.

oo

The Cullens began to drift in just a little later.

Rosalie gave Bella a tight smile and asked if she was okay. When Bella said yes, Rosalie directed her thoughts to Edward.

_I want her to stay for __your__ sake. I know she has to face the reality of what she's taking on, but I'd hate for you to be alone again because she freaked out and left._

Edward acknowledged Rosalie's thoughts, and her gesture, with a curt nod of his head.

Emmett flopped onto the sofa beside them and demanded a Battle Blade rematch.

"Dude, I'm gonna wipe the floor with your bony ass this time."

Bella actually giggled.

Emmett grinned at her. "You feeling better?"

"I am, thank you."

"Hang on, you do realise he's insulting me, don't you?" Edward smirked.

"Yeah, but it just sounds so normal," Bella whispered quietly. "Is it always like this?"

"Always!" Emmett answered before Edward had a chance and Bella blushed that she'd been overheard. "We are always like this and Edward's ass has always been bony."

Edward rolled his eyes and Bella snorted. "And how would you know about Edward's ass, Emmett?" she deadpanned and Emmett's smug grin disappeared, engulfed by shock.

Edward stared at Bella for a moment, then at Emmett's stunned expression, and then he threw back his head and laughed. Rosalie was smirking behind her magazine. After a moment Emmett started grinning again.

"Welcome, Bella " he leant over and offered his fist for bumping. "You're gonna fit right in." Then he threw a book from the coffee table at his still-laughing brother who deflected it neatly. It flew across the room and Esme snatched it from the air. She glared at Edward and Emmett, who both looked suitably chastened. Then she set the book on the sideboard and offered to show Bella the garden. "I think it might be more civilised outside right now," she said.

"I've already shown her the garden," Edward scowled but Esme ignored him.

"I'm sure you never got past the garage," she spoke conspiratorially to Bella. "Come and I'll show you my roses. Did Edward tell you I grow them?"

oo

Edward's family, along with Edward's tea and napkins and funny story, were the perfect antidote to the shock of Peter and Charlotte. And as the day wore on Bella became part of the family.

Edward had been worried that Alice would be too overwhelming, that Rosalie would be too cold and Emmett too loud. But he needn't have worried. Because, to use Emmett's words, she fit right in.

She toured the garden with Esme and came in smiling, carrying a small bunch of roses.

Carlisle showed her his library and the paintings and sketches on his office wall and she listened, fascinated, as he told her his story.

When Jasper returned he apologised to Bella for his friends. "They meant no harm," he smiled quietly as he kept a polite but careful distance. "And they hope you weren't upset."

Bella smiled, thanked him and told him she was fine. "I'm sorry that my being here interrupted their visit," she said, but Jasper shook his head and told her not to worry. Then he asked her about her studies. He had lots of questions about anthropological theory and Bella answered them all eagerly.

And of course there was Alice.

She and Bella seemed to really click. Edward was grinning as he eavesdropped on his sister and girlfriend as they sat on the front porch debating whether fashion was art. Alice seemed to have met her match as Bella countered each of her arguments easily until Alice was pouting and had to admit that no, there were no designer frocks hanging in The Louvre. _Yet._

"Would you let me do your nails?" Alice eventually went for a subject change.

"Mm, I don't really paint my nails," Bella answered. "But I was wondering, would you show me those old fashion magazines you were talking about before? Would that be alright?"

"You like fashion history?"

"Well, I like history."

"Close enough!"

There was an excited giggle from Alice who stood and grabbed Bella by the hand. "Come on, you'll love my collection, the Vogues go back to 1947."

Bella waved to Edward as she disappeared upstairs and he didn't see her again until her lasagne was ready and she joined him on the sofa to eat off her lap while he and Jasper tried to build the world's tallest house of cards on the coffee table.

oo

Edward sat naked on the four-poster bed, smiling as he watched Bella get undressed. He liked the way her face scrunched up when she yawned.

"Alice says there'll sun for a while tomorrow morning."

Bella's eyes lit up. "Really? Can I see you? Will you show me?"

"Only if you're very good," Edward teased. "And you won't need_ that_ tonight." He reached for the old t-shirt she sometimes slept in, just as she did.

"And why not?"

Edward tossed the t-shirt into Bella's bag and lay back on the bed, hands behind his head. He gave her a crooked smile and shrugged. Bella blushed and ran and launched herself at him and he caught her, laughing, keeping her body away from his cold one.

"The bed's warm!" she exclaimed as he lowered her onto the sheets.

"Electric blanket."

"Just like back home." She smiled.

They climbed under the covers and laid on their sides, staring into each other's eyes with a small space between them as Edward's body slowly warmed.

Bella yawned again.

"What are you smiling at?" she asked him and snuggled deeper under the covers.

"You." He leant close and gave her a peck on the lips. "My family likes you."

"I like them, too. I had fun this afternoon. And tonight," she smiled. "And they're all so beautiful, just like I remembered from the school cafeteria."

"You stood up to Alice very well." Edward pushed some hair out of Bella's eyes. "She can be a little overwhelming sometimes."

Bella snuggled deeper under the covers. "Yeah, I get that, but you just have to find common ground somewhere."

"Like old magazines?"

"You were listening!"

"A little." He reached for her hand which was clutching the blanket, and kissed it. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He kissed her palm.

Bella beamed and stroked his cheek with her fingers.

"I was okay. And I really like Alice, she's fun."

"She can be."

"And Rosalie warmed up a bit when she showed me her wedding photos."

Edward blinked at her, surprised. "I must have missed that."

"You were outside with Carlisle."

Ah, yes, Edward thought. "I was asking him if he knew anything about the incubi myths."

"Oh? Did he?"

"No, but he's intrigued now. He agrees we don't know for certain what the truth is – he's going to do some research." He pushed the hair back from her eyes again, his fingers brushed over her cheek. "So, tell me about Rosalie."

There wasn't much to tell. Rosalie had been updating her wedding album with the photos from their latest wedding and had asked Bella if she would like to have a look.

Once again Edward was pleased by the effort his sister was making. He hoped the small steps would continue.

"And?" Edward prompted.

"I said she looked very beautiful and I liked her dress. I think she liked that."

"She would have."

Bella gave another yawn. "Do Alice and Jasper get married every few years too?"

"No," Edward shook his head. "That's just Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie likes being the centre of attention that way. She likes the spectacle and the show. Alice and Jasper married very quietly, just the once. Esme and Carlisle too."

He watched Bella's expression change subtly. She rolled onto her front and hugged her pillow to her chest.

"What is it?"

She chewed on her lip for a moment, her brow furrowed in thought and concentration.

"I _think_…," she began slowly. "I think Charlie is going to ask Sue to marry him."

Edward's mouth popped open.

"What makes you think that?" He hadn't seen anything in Charlie's thoughts two weeks before, but then at that time his main focus had been his daughter.

"Well, he called yesterday," Bella continued. "Right in the middle of the day, and he never does that. I was in a history tutorial." She rolled her eyes but her smile was affectionate. "He asked me if I liked Sue. And then he wanted to know if I could remember the name of the nice Italian restaurant in Port Angeles and did I think she would like it. And then he wanted to know my plans for August."

Edward blew out a breath and smiled. "It sounds like he's planning…something."

Bella nodded slowly and Edward wondered why she was frowning.

"You don't approve?"

"No, it's not that," she said quickly. "I'm happy for him, I really am. And Sue's lovely, they're great together...I guess I'm just surprised."

"Why?"

"Well, because it didn't work with Renee. I don't want him to get hurt again."

Edward wasn't really following her argument.

"That doesn't mean it won't work with Sue. If they're right for each other "

"I know. But then if they're right for each other then that should be enough, shouldn't it? A piece of paper isn't going to guarantee happiness. It doesn't make a commitment any stronger."

Edward shrugged but said nothing. He'd read this argument in a lot of human thoughts.

"You disagree?" Bella challenged.

"Not necessarily," Edward answered. "I see your point."

"But?"

"I guess it just depends how you look at things."

Bella hugged her pillow tighter.

"Go on." She was still frowning, still challenging, this was obviously a contentious issue for her. Edward rolled onto his front too, copying her pose and hugging his pillow to his naked chest.

"I'm just playing devil's advocate, alright?"

He didn't want her to think he was trying to push his ideas on to her, or push her into something she clearly didn't want. He would never do that. Edward believed marriage was a gift, a promise two people gave to each other – not something gained through pressure or coercion.

"Okay," Bella was waiting. "Go on."

Edward shook the hair out of his eyes and began. "You say a marriage certificate is no guarantee of happiness or commitment, and I agree, it isn't." He knew no piece of paper could make him any more committed to Bella than he already was. "But what if you didn't look at it as a guarantee. Maybe it's more about an expression of your intent."

"Intent? I don't get you."

There was a strange sort of tension in Edward's body now – he almost felt nervous. His voice was very soft when he spoke.

"Maybe it's saying I love you, and I _believe_ this is forever, and I'm prepared to put it in writing and sign my name to it."

He shrugged again, shyly. Bella was silent, blinking slowly at him in the dark.

"I've never thought of it that way." She dropped her eyes then and began twisting the corner of the pillow case between her fingers. "So you believe in marriage?"

"I was just playing devil's advocate, remember?" But when she lifted her eyes he knew his answer wasn't enough. "But yes, I do believe in marriage. If it's what both people want."

Bella looked back at the crumpled cotton between her fingers. "Is this enough for you? What we have, like this?"

"_You_ are enough for me," he smiled. "More than enough." He kissed her cheek. "You are _everything_."

Bella smiled and bit her lip.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Have you warmed up yet?"

He grinned, threw his pillow on the floor and rolled onto his back.

"I don't know. Why don't you come and see?"

oo

Edward stood in the middle of a small clearing that sat deep in the woods a couple of miles from the Vermont house.

Sunday morning sunlight filled the space as he shrugged out of his shirt and let it drop to the ground. He felt slightly nervous now and he ran both hands through his hair. He adjusted his jeans that sat low on his hips. He felt strangely vulnerable and exposed and thought how ridiculous that was because Bella had seen him stark naked many times now. But somehow, this felt different, even with his pants on and only his chest bare.

He swallowed nervously.

"Can I open my eyes yet?" Bella was sitting cross-legged at the edge of the clearing, eyes obediently closed.

"Okay," he said. "You can open them."

He didn't think she could look any more shocked. He didn't think her eyebrows could go any higher or her jaw lower. And her gasp was so loud it echoed in the silence of the space around them.

Edward lifted his arms and ran both his hands through his hair nervously. Again. Then he brought them down and didn't know what to do with them, so he tucked them into his back pockets.

"So, this is me."

He gave Bella a shy, lopsided smile and waited for her to say something. But it seemed that Bella had been robbed of the power of speech. It was a full forty seven seconds before she spoke.

"You're so beautiful," she whispered. "When you told me your skin reflected light I never I never imagined..." The light was bouncing off Edward and shooting around the clearing. "It's like diamonds in your skin. It's like a rainbow has shattered." Bella's eyes ran all over him, clearly taking in every detail before she lifted her gaze to meet his. "You're beautiful," she smiled. "Can I touch you?"

Edward breathed a soft sigh of relief. Her smile and her delighted expression were as though she had just unwrapped the best present on Christmas morning. Confidence surged through him now. And a little pride.

"Of course," he smiled. "I won't bite."

She wobbled as she stood and Edward thought she looked so pretty. She was wearing her floaty skirt, it swirled softly around her knees and he could see the outline of her legs behind the fabric.

She approached him slowly, almost as if he were her prey and she was stalking him. The thought was amusing and Edward smiled. His smiled widened as she got closer and when she tentatively reached out to touch his abdomen he grinned and snapped at her.

"Ah!" she startled and jerked back unsteadily, but Edward caught her before she even came close to falling. He was laughing, his hair falling in his eyes as she glared at him.

"That wasn't nice," she scolded, but he could see the smile at the corner of her lips.

"I couldn't resist," he grinned. "You looked like you were trying to pat a caged animal."

"Maybe you _should_ be in a cage."

He chuckled and snapped at her again, but not quite like he had before – this was more of a nip beside her ear. And this time she merely rolled her eyes as she lay back against his arm that supported her waist.

"You'll start growling next," she muttered and Edward obliged. He let rip with a raw, guttural growl that vibrated from deep within him. Bella laughed, but Edward could see her eyes suddenly darken and deepen with desire.

"You're very playful today," she whispered and finally touched her finger tips to his bare chest. The rainbows from his skin reflected onto her hand.

Edward _was _feeling playful. Maybe it was the sunlight, the first he'd felt on his skin for weeks now. Maybe it was having Bella see him in all his glittering, vampire glory. Maybe it was having her here, all to himself, completely alone for the first time with no-one around for miles. Maybe it was just that he felt so comfortable with her.

"Did I scare you?" he asked.

"Not really. Although I can see how you could be scary." She ran the flat of her palm across his stomach, her thumb dipping into his jeans. Edward hissed. His arm around her waist tightened. "I actually like it when you growl," she whispered.

So Edward growled again. His mouth was on her throat now, letting her feel the vibration through her skin. She moaned and sagged against him. He could feel her blood pounding, it throbbed against his lips as he growled.

Suddenly, Bella pushed her way out of his grasp and she was standing a few feet away, out of reach, watching him. Her chest was heaving, her eyes were dark, their lids heavy. Edward worried at first if , this time, he had scared her, but then…this didn't look like fear.

Bella smiled, a slow, teasing smile.

"You told me you're fast," she said. "Catch me."

And then she began to run. Clumsily. Away from him. Towards the trees.

Edward began to grin. She wanted to play.

Usually it was only his prey that he chased, so Edward took a moment to check himself, check his bloodlust, check that this was safe.

And it _was_ safe.

But it was also _exciting._

A second later Edward took off after her.

She squealed and gasped when, from nowhere, he appeared right in front of her towering over her with eyes that were wild and dark as she backed away slowly, grinning. Giggling. Edward followed, matching her step for step, his bare feet soundless on the ground.

"Wow, you _are_ fast. And silent."

"That was nothing."

Bella's eyes widened, her breath caught. The blood was tearing through her veins, he could hear it. Her eyes ranged over his naked chest, his arms and as he watched her a tremor of excitement ran through Edward – his skin felt like it was on fire.

"You're strong too?"

He nodded.

"How strong?"

Without hesitation Edward moved to the closest tree. He put his palm against the huge trunk that his arms wouldn't even reach around and pushed. He saw Bella's eyes follow the flex of his muscles , and then watch the tree as its roots tore from the earth and it came free, spraying dirt and rocks skywards before falling with a crash that echoed loudly through the clearing.

"That strong," Edward murmured.

Bella's eyes were huge now. Edward could see her heart hammering inside her chest, the thin fabric of her top vibrated with the movement.

"Do something else," she whispered.

He took a rock from the ground. A lump of granite the size of his fist, he held it out in the palm of his hand for Bella to see. Then slowly he curled his fingers and crushed it to dust.

Bella's eyes followed every flex and movement of his hand, his wrist. Her lips parted in silent, breathless amazement.

Edward watched her, his nostrils flaring slightly at her scent which was wild around her now. Her breathing was fast and she ran her hands into her hair, slowly pulling it up high as she stared at him. Edward could feel the energy coming from her.

He had never seen her like this. But then, she had never seen _him_ like this, either.

This was new.

And raw.

His body felt like it was humming.

Bella let her hair loose again. It fell, messy around her face, as she took another step backwards and stumbled over her feet.

Edward caught her and she moaned. She wound her arms around his neck as he lowered her carefully to the ground.

He began kissing her throat.

She arched her neck in a glorious curve and the sight ignited every fibre of Edward's body. He took a moment, savouring, steeling himself, making sure he was safe. He inhaled her scent..._Bella_

Her feet pushed at his jeans. His fingers tore at her top.

Their clothes gone, he took her in one smooth, swift move, growling her name. But here, in the open, with their chase fresh in his veins and the sun warm on his back and Bella even warmer beneath him, Edward felt his control spiralling away. He clenched his jaw and let go of her quickly. He dug his hands into the ground, pushing up on his arms while his fingers clawed the earth and Bella clawed his back.

When she cried out Edward threw his head back and let himself go. He shuddered hard. His breathless gasp became a roar as he arched, every muscle, every sinew, taut and straining.

His hands ripped and tore at the ground.

Then he collapsed beside her, throwing his arms around her now, cocooning her and murmuring breathless, almost incoherent _I love you's_.

"I think the sun agrees with you, Edward," Bella whispered breathlessly a few moments later. Her grin would light up a city, Edward thought.

"The sun... " he murmured, smiling, sounding almost sleepy, "...your floaty skirt...the chase...flexing my muscles like a caveman... "

Bella giggled. Edward rolled on his side to face her. He ran his finger softly over her stomach. "Are you alright?"

He laughed when she growled and snapped at him.

"Bella...! " he gasped, pretending to be shocked. Then, smiling, he returned her growl. "I think the sun agrees with you too."

oo

The rest of Sunday was relatively quiet.

Esme made lunch. Alice and Bella talked about Paris and books and movies. And then Bella watched, amused, as Edward and his brothers played a vampire version of basketball which seemed to have no rules and where violence wasn't just permissible, but apparently compulsory.

"Who won?" Bella asked when it was over.

"I did." Three voices claimed victory all at once.

Bella looked from Edward to Jasper to Emmett while they all stared disbelievingly at each other. Then Bella burst out laughing. Edward smiled and guided her back into the house.

"It really was me," he whispered in her ear.

"Was not!" Emmett yelled and Bella laughed again.

-0-

The Saab flew over the night roads on its way back to Chicago.

On the back seat was a selection of Alice's precious vintage Vogues and the small bunch of roses that had come from Esme's garden. Their stems were wet and wrapped in cling wrap - a good trick for keeping them alive during the journey, Esme had said.

As he drove with Bella sleeping beside him Edward sang quietly to the music coming from the CD. It was a soft piece, calm and peaceful and it reflected his mood. He reached across and smoothed his hand over her hair. She stirred a little, mumbled his name, and sank deeper into sleep. Edward smiled and wondered if things would always be this good - a small part of his brain wondered when the first complication was going to hit.

It hit a week later.

And it hit a lot harder than Edward had been expecting.

He'd thought their first test might have been an invitation to someplace he couldn't go - a trip to the beach, or a picnic on a sunny day.

But he hadn't expected that he would come home from hunting and find a werewolf in Bella's living room.

He had picked flowers for her while he was in the woods - purple wildflowers, she liked purple. As he'd stepped out of the car, flowers in hand, he'd turned his senses to her apartment and it took him just three seconds until he crashed through Bella's door, eyes blazing, hair flying, shouting her name.

Just inside the door he stopped.

And froze.

Instinct kicked in, hard and fast, and he began to move slowly, sinking into a low crouch.

His lips curled back.

He bared his teeth which glistened with the venom that pumped through his veins like adrenalin. He tilted his head back slightly, sticking out his chin, and let rip a low, slow, guttural snarl that dripped with threat and menace.

And in amongst the riot of thoughts that were crashing through his head, Edward took a second to realise, with horror, that the man keeping Bella in place behind his back, thought he was protecting her from _him_..._from_ _Edward. _

The man pulled Bella closer.

"Get. Away. From. Her. Now." Edward's growl deepened, his warning was clear.

"You really want this, Bella?" the man spat. "You want _him_?"

"Sam!" Bella hissed and she struggled out from behind him and ran to Edward's side.

Edward didn't look at her, his furious gaze was still on Sam, but he swept her behind him and held her there, his arm pinning her against his back, unable to move.

The werewolf clenched his fists. Those fists began to shake. Edward tried to assess Sam's intentions but his thoughts were too charged, too erratic.

"You should keep to your own kind," Sam growled.

Edward didn't move. His whole body was tensed and coiled, ready to attack. And in Edward's stillness there was danger and Sam could sense that.

"Charlie Swan is like family," Sam went on, speaking through his teeth while his fists still clenched and released, over and over. "He trusts you, but that trust is misplaced. He doesn't know what you are...but we do. And we know he wouldn't want this for his daughter."

With a stab, Edward realised that on that one point Sam was right.

"So I'm here to speak for him. I'm here to speak for her father."

"Sam, please..." Bella's voice came from behind Edward, beseeching. Her breathing was ragged and harsh, her panicked heart was pounding, Edward could smell her fear now as she struggled against his hold - as she struggled to get away from him. But Edward wasn't going to let her go, not yet. Not until Sam was gone. He didn't know how stable the wolf was.

Sam's mind was racing, Edward couldn't keep up with the thoughts...Charlie, wolves, shots of his conversation with Bella...then Sam's eyes fell to the floor near Edward's feet, and the small bunch of purple wildflowers that lay scattered there.

_He's bringing her flowers?_

Sam's thoughts were incredulous but his mind shifted to a memory of other, similar flowers that grew in the woods around La Push, and how one day he had gathered them for a dark-haired woman with a gentle smile. He shook himself, shook the memory away. He looked at Bella peeking over Edward's shoulder, and then at Edward. Again he looked down at the flowers. For some reason the sight of them unsettled and confused him, but his thoughts gave nothing away.

Slowly, sensing a shift in the wolf's mood, Edward straightened to his full height, but kept Bella tight against him.

"Have you said what you came to say?" Edward's voice was low and deep and though it was calm the threat was still clear.

Sam's eyes flickered to Bella and he gave a sharp nod - flashes of their conversation peppered his thoughts once more.

"Then know this..." Edward's voice dropped even lower, his eyes bore into Sam's. "Charlie Swan's trust is not misplaced."

The words were simple, spoken with stunning conviction, and not at all what Sam had expected. His surprise showed in his expression and his thoughts. He had been prepared for vitriol and threats and he spent a bemused second or two staring at Edward, before Edward spoke again.

"Bella has friends in La Push," he said. "People who will become her family if Charlie marries Sue..."

Sam frowned, surprised to hear Sue's name come from Edward's lips, but he nodded. His thoughts wondered where the bloodsucker was going with this - was he expecting invitations to Thanksgiving dinner?

"I expect Bella to be able to visit La Push whenever she wants...to see her father, her friends..." Edward's voice took a tone of authority. There would be no argument. Sam was momentarily dumbstruck. "And I expect her to be welcome, _despite_ her _choice_ to be with me."

"Bella will always be welcome." Sam stuck out his chin and spoke with an authority of his own. "But _you..."_

Edward shook his head. "I'm not talking about me. Bella's happiness is all that matters, I think we're agreed on that, aren't we?" He took Sam's angry silence as agreement. "The treaty will not effect her."

"No," Sam confirmed. "It won't effect her."

Edward nodded. He relaxed his hold on Bella but just a little. She was still squirming, still trying to get away. Her heart still felt like it was going to explode, pounding against his back.

Sam took a long, deep breath and turned to her.

"Bella, if you're sure this is what you want..."

"Sam, we've already talked..." Her voice was small, shaky.

Sam nodded. "I know. But don't forget what I said, and if you need us..." He shot Edward a death stare. Edward met it with death stare of his own. Then Sam strode out of the apartment leaving Edward and Bella alone.

Immediately, Edward let her go.

He stepped right away, held up his hands and looked at her for the first time since he'd come into the room. The anguished thoughts that had been niggling, unacknowledged in his brain, came roaring into focus.

Bella was terrified.

Of him.

Her eyes were huge, brimming with tears, the frantic beat of her heart matched the tearing pulse in her veins. She was pale. She was shaking. And the smell of fear was so potent it almost wiped out the smell of wolf.

What had he done?

He had never wanted her to see him that way, crouched, ready to attack, growling with his teeth bared like some wild animal.

He swallowed and held out his hand to her very slowly while she hugged herself.

_Please don't leave me._

It was all he could think as she stared at him like she'd never seen him before. He'd never seen that look in her eyes. That look of pure panic. He'd never smelt her fear.

"Bella?"

_Please don't leave..._

"I'm so sorry..."

"I was so scared," she said suddenly.

Edward's heart burned and broke.

"I didn't mean to scare you. I'm so sorry."

Bella's expression changed suddenly, shifting into obvious confusion.

"What? You didn't scare me. Why would you think that?"

Now Edward was confused. And he was blinking at her, too.

"Because of what you just saw. When I was..."

Bella began to roll her eyes, but then she stopped and let out a sob as she ran to Edward and launched herself at him. He caught her, confused but thrilled, and held her tight again...this time to his chest.

"I...I wasn't scared _of_ you," she stammered. "I was scared _for_ you."

"Why?" It made no sense.

"I was scared he'd hurt you."

Oh! Despite his confusion and worry Edward's heart slowly began to soar.

"But...you were trying to get away from me."

She shook her head. "I was trying to stand _in front_ of you."

"_In front_!" Just the thought made Edward shudder.

But the thought also made him feel very warm. She had wanted to protect him.

"Oh, Bella..."

He went to kiss her but she was wiping her nose on her sleeve. So he pulled her down onto the sofa with him and sat her in his lap.

Arms wrapped around each other, he buried his nose in her hair.

"Tell me everything..." he said.

Bella's voice shook as she told him about the knock on the door and Sam Uley's surprise appearance on her doorstep.

"He was in town for a wedding - his fiancee's cousin is getting married."

"And he thought he'd drop in and say 'hi'?" It wasn't like Edward to sneer, but he did that right now.

"Something like that." Bella sniffed. "He said he wanted to make sure I was alright. He wanted to know if I was still seeing you and if I was sure that was a good idea." She sniffed again. "He was hedging, not sure what I knew, so I told him you had been completely open and honest with me...and that shocked him."

"Did it?" Another sneer.

Bella nodded. "And then he started on about Charlie, and I told him Charlie would only ever want me to be happy and safe. And that's what I was with you...happy and safe."

Edward pulled her closer. His fingers massaged gently at the base of her neck. She sighed and dropped her head onto his shoulder. "That's so good." She sighed again. "He said you could never come to La Push, and if you did come..." She stopped and her breath shuddered through her. "If you did come then he and his brothers would make sure you never got out again. And I knew then that those legends were true...he was a wolf. And they could kill you." She swallowed hard. "I got angry then."

"Angry?"

"I can't even remember exactly what I said," she threw up her hands in frustration. "But I think I basically told him no-one was ever to touch a hair on your head and if they wanted you they had to come through me."

Edward began chuckling and Bella gave him a weak smile. "Don't laugh," she said. "With the right motivation I reckon I could take on a werewolf."

"Why don't I doubt that?" Edward kissed her nose. "Thank you," he said, seriously now. "Thank you for the thought."

"Any time," she replied.

She curled into him, making herself small and safe in his arms.

"I'm sorry he upset you," Edward whispered. He could quite happily take Sam Uley apart for doing what he had.

"It's done now," Bella said. "He knows where I stand and he won't be back. And he won't tell Charlie."

Edward kissed the top of her head. "I don't want this to stop you from going to see your father."

"It won't." She lifted her head and Edward felt himself melt into her gaze. "I love my dad and I'll see him as often as I can for as long as I can. But I know you are my future."

He pushed her hair back from her face and smiled. "So, you're still with me then?"

"I'm not going anywhere," she smiled back.

-0-

Edward doodled in his notebook while he listened to the lecture about stress beams and spans.

Two eyes stared up at him from the page and he smiled. Under his skilled fingers the eyes soon became the focus of a heart-shaped face.

The girl in the seat next to Edward was watching.

"Pretty," she whispered and when Edward looked up she nodded towards his book.

"My girlfriend," he smiled.

"Oh." The girl turned back to her notes, disappointed.

Edward turned back to his sketch.

His transfer had come through a month earlier, just one week after their return from Vermont. He had night classes on the three evenings that Bella worked, and his other classes were hit and miss depending on the weather.

Yesterday there had been sunshine.

Today there were clouds.

Edward's pencil moved over the page, giving life to a smile that was gentle and warm.

Sometimes he wondered what would have happened if he'd stayed in Forks, if he hadn't left after that second biology lesson. Would he and Bella be where they were now? Would she have travelled the world? Would she be living her own life, have her own place, friends that she laughed with? Somehow, Edward didn't think so. He had been different back then, and it seemed so had she. He couldn't even imagine how things between them would have worked.

He smiled now as he thought of the night before and the bowling match he'd enjoyed with Bella and her friends.

Bella was a hopeless bowler, but he'd had fun _helping _her, gripping her hips, her waist, under the guise of showing her the best way to get the ball to hit the pins and not the gutters.

"I know what you're doing," she'd whispered out of the corner of her mouth as his fingers discreetly massaged her hips.

"I'd be worried if you didn't," he'd winked.

In the end he and Rex and Tom had beaten Bella and Charlotte and Mandy and he'd pretended to drink soda and eat Chinese food when they'd gone out for a victory meal afterwards. It was the girls' treat – that was the bet.

Edward had thrown himself into his life with Bella. He enjoyed the company of her friends, he liked being part of her world and the small complications that involved the weather and food and Nicola's accident with Bella's kitchen knife had been easily handled. Even if Nicola thought Edward was a wimp now because he'd held out the box of bandaids at arms length while he'd clenched his jaw, stopped breathing, and looked in the opposite direction. Bella had been no help – she'd been on the floor with her head between her knees.

Surprisingly, their biggest complication had come in the form of a simple white envelope addressed to Ms Isabella Swan. It had come from the Department of Archaeology and Anthropology at the University of Athens, Greece.

Sunny, sunny Greece.

She'd been offered a place in a summer scholarship program. Accommodation provided, two weeks in the field, eight weeks of theory.

Ten weeks.

In sunny, sunny Greece.

Bella had applied months before and missed out. She'd thought that was the end of it but then there had been a second round of offers.

Second round. Second chance.

Edward knew all about second chances.

And he couldn't let Bella give this one up.

And she didn't want to give it up.

"I want to go," she had admitted. "But I don't want to leave you."

He'd shrugged. "It's just ten weeks." But he knew every day would be agony without her.

"It's a long time to be apart. What if you forget me?" she'd made a half-hearted attempt at a joke, trying to lighten the moment.

"I'll stick your photo on the refrigerator," he'd joked back.

"You never go to the refrigerator when I'm not here."

"Oops." He'd smiled and winked but Bella's eyes had been troubled.

"I don't want to be without you either," he'd said, softly then, jokes aside. "But you have a life, a real life, and you should live it."

He had studied the letter then as she'd sat nestled against him on her sofa. His mind began ticking things over.

"Bella, are you particularly wanting to stay in the student dormitories?"

"Not really," Bella had snorted. "But where else "

As Edward's eyes had begun to gleam so had hers.

"I could rent us a villa.," he'd said. "I'd arrive on an evening flight..."

Bella had started to grin, then stopped.

"But you'd just be sitting around all day."

"But we could explore at night. Some nights. You'd have study to do, of course. And I wouldn't be sitting around all day...I could learn to cook Greek food for you."

She had started to laugh then. "But the course begins with two weeks in the field. I'd be in a tent. In the sunshine."

"Well, I'd come after that. Two weeks apart is better than ten."

"Hunting?"

"Goats."

Bella wrinkled her nose. "But... "

"Bella, do you want me to come, or not?" he'd smirked, teasing her. "Because I'm starting to think... "

But he had got no further because she'd thrown her arms around him and hugged him hard.

"Whatever you think will work," she'd said. "Anything. If you're happy to do those things for me, if you're happy to hunt goats and cook Greek food I'm not going to stop you."

So Bella had sent in her acceptance and Edward had started researching Greek villas.

He'd never been to Greece – it would be an adventure.

The lecture finished.

It was the last for the day and Edward packed away his things and went to meet Bella in the carpark.

She seemed distracted, thoughtful. She'd been this way for a few days now and he asked her, not for the first time, if she was okay.

"I'm fine," she said and kissed him. Her eyes were deep and warm like always and he never wanted to look away.

Back at his place he played the piano while she worked on an assignment. He'd catch her looking at him as he played, a warm, secret smile on her lips when she thought he couldn't see. Her heart seemed to be beating a little faster today, he thought.

She cooked herself some dinner. They talked about their day. They sat on the sofa and listened to the new cd he'd bought. Bella's fingers moved slowly back and forth between his, her head on his shoulder. Still she seemed thoughtful.

"You're a million miles away," he murmured.

"No, I'm right here, with you." There was a smile in her voice, a gentle lilt that was contentment and peace. The music changed, the cd selector choosing a new disc at random.

"Dance with me?" he asked when he heard the music.

They pushed the furniture aside and rolled back the rug. Bella kicked off her shoes. Edward's feet were already bare.

He held out his arms and she walked into them while The Platters sang _Only You._

"This song makes me think of you," Edward whispered, and began to sing along softly as they swayed slowly around the room in each other's arms.

He could feel Bella melting into him, becoming part of him almost, it seemed. When the song was half way through she stopped dancing and looked up at him.

"Perfect," she whispered, to herself it seemed.

"Bella?"

"I've been thinking... " she began softly, but said nothing more. Her eyes studied his, her smile warmed and grew, lighting up her whole face, her whole being, like she was holding the best secret in the world.

"Tell me?" Edward whispered. He was smiling now, though he wasn't sure why – but he thought it was a good sign.

"I've been thinking... a lot... " She was beaming at him. "Edward, I want to put it in writing." Her fingers caressed his cheek. "I want to put it in writing and sign my name."

Edward became utterly, utterly still as he absorbed her words and they filled him. They filled his heart and soul and became part of him.

Like_ she_ had become part of him.

He stared at her as joy sparked and burned hot inside him.

He didn't ask if she was sure or why she'd changed her mind…her eyes and her smile had already answered those questions.

He simply held her beautiful face between his hands and kissed her for a very long time.

"I'd like to do it properly," he whispered against her lips. His eyes were closed, his heart was open and soaring. "On my knee, with a ring."

Bella smiled and nodded as his forehead touched hers.

"Surprise me one day," she said.

Edward opened his eyes and nodded too.

"I will."

Then he kissed her again.

**A/N: Thank you all for your lovely reviews and support. It's so, so appreciated.**

**27 Sept: Update: I've just had an email saying that The Decision has been recommended by reader(s) for Fic of the Week over at The Lemonade Stand. The top four stories of the week will be featured in The Award Winning Fic collection and "Recommended Reading List" on the side bar.**

**It's a weekly poll and is open for two more days. They suggest I let my readers know. thelemonadestand dot blogspot dot com**

**Thank you to the person or people who recommened The Decision - I am just blown away, speechless and I appreciate it so much.**

**And huge thank you Edward's Eternal (Melanie) for betaing so quickly for me – I don't know how you do it.**

**Melanie has posted her own story. It's called Simply Coffee…and it's lovely. A sad Bella, a devoted Edward, a seemingly impossible situation…or is it? **

**There will be just one more chapter of The Decision. I'll get it out as quickly as I can, but it could be a couple of weeks or so.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended.**

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**Summer**

**Crete - an island off the Greek coast**

From across the dusty, narrow road Edward watched the crowd of students as they straggled towards the bus that had University of Athens printed on its side. They were tired but laughing, rucksacks slung over their shoulders. Some girls looked up and saw him, and wondered about the stranger sitting astride the sleek, silver Ducati motorbike. They were curious about the face beneath the full helmet with the blacked out visor. They admired the shoulders in the black leather jacket and the thighs that straddled the body of the bike, one booted foot on the ground for balance. They thought he must feel so hot, sitting so covered up in the early afternoon sun.

But the thoughts barely made a dent in Edward's consciousness - he was too focused on watching and listening for Bella.

Edward was early. It was only Thursday and Bella wasn't expecting him until Friday night when she was supposed to meet him at Athens airport with her bags and they would take a taxi to the villa he had rented for them for the next eight weeks.

She certainly wasn't expecting him to be here, on the small Greek island of Crete, at the fenced-off University dig site, where she had been studying ancient civilisations for the past two weeks.

But the early arrival was just part of his surprise.

The students began boarding the bus. The supervisor hurried them along - if they didn't leave in ten minutes they would miss the overnight ferry back to the mainland. _It's like herding cats, _the flustered supervisor thought.

The line of students that snaked around behind the bus began to gradually move forward, the supervisor checking each person off a list and asking if they'd returned their equipment to the site office before he'd let them on the bus.

Edward began taking more notice of the students' thoughts, trying to find Bella in them somewhere..._sleep...food...assignment...sex...homesick...ferry...sunburn..._but then he saw her. She came around from behind the bus, at the end of the line.

Beneath his visor Edward smiled.

Beneath the leather his body stirred.

It had been two weeks since he'd seen her, but it felt like two years. Two centuries.

He wanted to run and engulf her in his arms. He wanted to feel her in his hands and with his lips.

He wanted to bury himself inside her and stay there until the world stopped spinning.

He ached just to hold her hand.

He knew he would have to settle for a wave.

His eyes made a quick inventory and except for a small, superficial graze on her ankle, she was in one, perfect piece.

The sun had kissed her skin and in her tank top and denim shorts Edward realised he'd never seen so much of her body outside the privacy of his home, or hers.

She looked good.

So, so good.

He still couldn't believe she was his.

Couldn't believe that she'd said _yes..._to _him. _

Sometimes, late at night as she slept and he watched over her, he wondered about the miracle his life had become. Sometimes, in the very dark corners of his mind, he wondered if it was too good to be true.

Bella was talking with another girl, talking about what they would do when they got back to Athens. Bella's hair was in a ponytail, some stray strands had come loose and she pushed them back behind her ear. The engagement ring on her finger glistened in the sunlight. Edward smiled. Suddenly Bella looked up and straight towards him - it was almost as if he'd called her name.

She frowned.

The other girl was still talking, hoping the beds in the college dormitories would be comfortable, and Bella was nodding politely but her focus had changed now as she stared across the road. Faintly, through the helmet, Edward could hear the faster beating of her heart.

Edward lifted his hand - it wasn't quite a wave. Bella began biting her lip as she watched him. She excused herself from her friend and began to walk slowly, hesitantly, towards him. He smiled to himself as he watched her and cocked his head to his shoulder. And suddenly, at the gesture that was oh-so-familiar, even in a helmet, Bella was running.

And Edward was grinning.

He got off the bike, ran across the road towards her and caught her as she laughed and squealed and launched herself into his arms.

-0-

Edward was grinning. And happy. So happy.

Bella's thighs were pressed against, hugging him. Her arms were around his waist and her body was pressed against his back as the bike flew over the narrow, winding coast roads. With the speed, and the wind he felt powerful and free. With Bella curled around him he felt loved.

The afternoon sun was sparkling on the sapphire water and bouncing off the white, pebbly beaches. She was wearing the helmet and jacket he had stowed for her in the saddle packs of the bike. Every now and then he would hear her laugh, he'd feel it vibrating against him...and he would laugh too.

"Where are we going?" she shouted over the roar of the bike, knowing he would hear. But he didn't answer because he knew_ she_ wouldn't be able to hear _him,_ not properly. So he pointed - up ahead where the cliffs jutted out from the beach.

"Are we staying here? On the island?" she shouted.

He nodded, the black helmet moving up and down.

He felt her legs squeeze tighter. Edward flexed his thigh muscles in return. She laughed and shouted that she loved him.

Edward flexed again in answer.

After a few more miles he slowed the bike and steered it off the road. He maneuvered it carefully along a dirt track that sloped downwards, through dense patches of trees and scrub. Closer to the beach the land began to flatten out and an attractive, white-washed villa appeared.

Edward shut off the engine and the bike was still. They were alone, no-one around for miles, and he took off his helmet. He twisted around on the seat to smile at Bella, a full, wide, brilliant smile, but she wasn't smiling back.

She was busy struggling with her own helmet.

Her fingers were scrambling and jerking and in a moment she would be pulling her head right off. Edward tried not to laugh as he lifted her visor.

"Need some help?"

She growled at him. He _did _laugh now but he climbed off the bike, helped her off too, and gently pushed her hands aside so he could carefully ease the helmet over her face and away Her hair was a mess and she huffed an exaggerated breath, blowing the strands out of her face. Then she grinned.

"Hi," she said and suddenly she seemed almost shy.

"Hi," Edward whispered, his eyes devouring her again.

In the dappled shade of the trees the sun was glinting off his skin. He pulled off his gloves quickly and dropped them on the ground in his haste now to touch Bella's skin. More gently, he took her gloves off too, took her hands, touched her face, pressed his lips to hers.

Bliss.

Then he kissed her like the starving man he was.

She wrapped her arms around him, her fingers wove through his hair. He sighed and groaned and couldn't get close enough, his hands were everywhere...over her back, her hips, in her hair...

"I missed you," she gasped

"Missed you too," he breathed as his lips blazed a path over her throat and up to her jaw.

But then Edward pulled back a little, took a calming breath or two as he tucked Bella under his chin.

"So, what's the story?" Bella asked, still breathless from his welcome. "I wasn't expecting to see you until tomorrow night. In Athens."

"Are you disappointed?"

She snorted. "Bitterly."

Edward chuckled and hugged her tighter.

"I thought I'd surprise you," he said.

"With the bike?"

"You said you wanted to ride one. You told me in the garage in Vermont, remember?"

"I remember," she grinned up at him. "Thank you."

"So? What did you think?" he beamed down at her.

"What did I think? Edward..." she seemed momentarily speechless. Then the words came tumbling. "It was fantastic, incredible! The world seems so different, so close or something, it was...it was fantastic."

Edward was laughing. "I'm glad you liked it."

She was laughing too as she looked at the bike and then at the white-washed building that overlooked the sea. And then back at Edward.

"But, do you want to tell me exactly what's going on? You do remember I'm starting classes in Athens on Monday morning?"

Edward took her hand to his lips, kissed her knuckles then her palm.

"I've rented the apartment in Athens," he said. "It's ready for us now, the key is in my pocket...but you being in Crete gave me an idea."

She blinked up at him. "Hang on, when did you get here, and how did you get here?"

"Here, Crete? Or here, Greece?" he smiled. He knew Bella always like to have things straight and clear

"Both."

"Arrived in Athens last night. Then I took a charter flight here to Crete early this morning. I've been in the airport, out of the sun, waiting until I knew you'd be finishing up at the site.

"The bike?"

"Organised and delivered ahead of time. It was waiting for me at the airport."

"You've avoided the sun? How have you managed?"

"Carefully." He shrugged. It had been a tricky process, but well worth it. "I've gone from building to building either by night or under awnings by day. And then finally the helmet."

"Okay..." she said nodding, clearly processing. "Okay. Now...what idea?"

Edward smiled. "This," he said and made a sweeping motion towards the house and the view beyond. "I thought here we could spend some time together...in the sun."

"Oh! Really?"

Bella seemed confused, but her eyes had lit up and Edward could see the start of excitement there and encouraged by this, he continued.

"This part of the island is quite remote. The position of the villa means it can't be seen at all from the road. The beach is small and very private, the cliffs either side protect it from view, and if anyone _does _come near, I'll know." He smiled and tapped his temple.

Bella was smiling too. "You can come out in the sun?"

"Yes."

She laughed and hugged him hard. "And are we here for the whole weekend?"

"And every weekend, if you want. I've rented the house for the next eight weeks."

Bella looked slightly stunned. "As well as the apartment in Athens?"

"Yes."

She took a step back from him and Edward could feel the beginnings of tension in his shoulders.

"You rented this for eight weeks, just so we can use it at weekends?" she clarified, staring at him. He nodded and pulled her close again, his arms tightening around her waist - she'd been too far away for too long. "As well as an apartment in Athens?"

"Apartment for during the week. While you're studying. As we'd agreed."

"But Edward..." her voice was incredulous. "That would..."

"Be fantastic…" he whispered, finishing her sentence for her, stopping the protest about cost and extravagance that he was sure was coming.

She blinked at him.

"I was going to say that would cost a fortune."

"Then it's a good thing I have a fortune," he countered.

There was silence. She was leaning back against his arms, hands on his biceps, wide-eyed as she studied him. And then suddenly she was smiling. And the smile became a giggle.

"You're right, it _is_ fantastic," she said. "Thank you, thank you." And she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his cheek, his jaw. "You're spoiling me. What am I going to do with you?"

"I could think of a few things," he said and turned his face to catch her lips.

oo

He held her hand as he took her through the villa. He had spent hours searching the internet for the perfect property.

The villa was open and spacious, with tiled floors and large windows that caught the light and brought it inside. The furniture was minimal but stylish and comfortable.

The kitchen was well-equipped and Edward had paid the rental agents to stock the cupboards and the fridge for them. It flowed, open-plan style, into the living area which led onto a large, paved terrace that overlooked the sea. From there a path led down to their own secluded beach.

Bella stood outside in the sun, watching the light dance over the water. She pulled her hand through her hair and the sun caught her ring again. Edward smiled again - he didn't get to see it do that in Chicago. He smiled some more and while Bella looked out over the sea, watching the light dance on the water, he remembered the night he proposed.

After Bella had told Edward she wanted to _put it in writing and sign her name _he had thought of sending to Vermont for his mother's ring. He had kept the ring, along with some other precious things from his human time – his father's tie pin and matching cufflinks and his mother's diamond brooch. But as he'd prepared to call Carlisle and ask for it to please be sent, he hesitated. The ring was special to him, it had been his mother's, but this life with Bella was a new beginning…she should have her own ring, he decided. He would find another occasion for her to have his mother's ring.

He still made the call to Carlisle, but he asked for the brooch instead. Then that evening, while Bella had been reading and Edward had been writing an assignment, he'd asked her quite casually, without even looking up from his laptop, what gemstone was her favourite.

From the corner of his eye he saw her look up, puzzled, and then a slow smile started to creep across her lips.

"Garnet," she said and her answer was just as casual as his question. She looked back at her book but now Edward was puzzled. He looked at her over his laptop.

"Really? Not diamonds or rubies or emeralds?"

Bella shook her head, keeping her eyes on her book. He might have been asking her if she thought it might rain.

"I like the colour of garnets," she said as she turned a page. "It's warm and rich and deep." Then she turned her head slightly and met his gaze, her eyes twinkling. "Why do you ask, Edward?"

His eyes twinkled back. "Just wondered, Bella."

"Oh."

Then they'd both gone back to what they were doing, secret smiles on their faces.

So the following Saturday while she had been at work he had visited a jeweller, chosen a square garnet with colour that was warm and rich and deep, and instructed that it be set low in a delicate circle of rose gold filigree with the small diamonds from his mother's brooch studding the band.

The result was stunning.

The following Saturday when Edward had collected the ring from the jeweller he decided he couldn't wait to give it to Bella. All his plans for romantic evenings, candlelight, roaring fires, forests of flowers, flew out the window. The ring was burning a hole in his pocket. His face almost hurt from his grin.

He had picked Bella up from work and instead of driving home he'd gone to Garfield Park where they'd taken a shy walk on that first date. The soft light of dusk was all around them as he'd led her, almost running now in his excitement, to a secluded alcove of trees that overlooked the ornamental lake

As Edward came to a stop in the alcove Bella was curious, but laughing, asking what they were doing there and why was he grinning like the Cheshire Cat and why had they been running?

"Can't wait," he told her.

"Can't wait for what?"

And then his grin, his expression, faded from excitement into something else. Something intense and pure. He began to slowly sink to one knee as he looked up through his lashes, deep into Bella's eyes, letting her see his heart, his soul. Bella gasped, her hand had flown to her mouth and her eyes had filled.

But as Edward pulled the ring from his pocket all his words deserted him. His prepared speech was gone. Instead, there was only feeling, crashing over him, and he was suddenly overcome by this incredible moment that he had never thought would be his.

He felt the burn behind his eyes. His fingers started to shake as he'd taken Bella's trembling hand. His fancy speeches gone, he spoke what was in his heart and his voice was thick and raw as he told her simply that he loved her more than his own life and asked if she would do him the very great honour of marrying him.

Of course Bella said yes.

And Edward slid the ring onto her finger.

Perfect fit.

She flung her arms around his neck while he picked her up and swung her around and then kissed her until the sky grew dark and the stars appeared, sparkling like the diamonds in her ring, and lighting up the night sky.

"It's a beautiful ring," she'd whispered later as she'd laid in his bed, in his arms, flushed and smiling from their lovemaking.

"The diamonds were my mother's," he'd explained, touching them gently with his finger as she'd held up her hand. "From the brooch my father gave her the day I was born."

Bella had been speechless. She'd gasped softly and looked from him to her ring but had no words, and Edward kissed away the single tear that fell down her cheek and which told him what was in her heart.

"It's perfect," she whispered when she found her voice again, looking now from the ring back to him. "Perfect."

Now, two months later and thousands of miles away, Edward watched her as Bella took in the view, holding out her hand for him to join her.

"You're sure it's okay here? No-one will see?"

"No-one will see," he said. "And if anyone comes exploring I'll know." He tapped his temple as he stepped into the sun and lit up the whole terrace. Bella's eyes were like saucers.

"I'll never get used to it," she whispered then met his eyes. "I'll never get used to _you._"

For a second, as he took her hand, Edward was unsure.

"Is that a good thing?"

"That's a very good thing," she said and kissed his cheek. "It's fantastic being here, thank you."

"My pleasure." He kissed her cheek, sweetly and chastely, though he felt anything but chaste.

She watched the prisms of light as they danced rainbows on his skin. She turned his hand this way and that. She kissed his palm. She kissed _him._

"Is there more of the house to see?" she whispered.

"There's the bedroom."

"Will you show me?"

He'd thought she would never ask.

oo

The bedroom was big and white with a huge canopy bed and a white downy quilt. There were french doors that caught the view before leading onto another smaller, private terrace.

"This is beautiful," Bella breathed, standing at the french doors. "So beautiful."

Edward came behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. She tilted her head and sighed and he quietly reveled in the bliss of being with her again, being in the same country, the same space, feeling her in his arms.

His hands began to wander.

So did hers.

He peeled her out of her clothes, and his, and they fell onto the huge bed, the downy quilt billowing up around them. He stroked her and kissed her and whispered his love as she sighed and moaned and whispered too. Touched him too. His body covered hers, she took him in and he tried to be slow, he wanted this sweet reunion to last, he wanted her to feel...and himself to savour...but it had been two weeks.

And she was whimpering for more.

So he gave her more, bringing blessed relief quickly for both of them until he collapsed beside her, panting, and pulled her trembling body tight into his arms.

"Wow," she smiled, breathless and shiny, her skin glistening against his. Edward smiled too - he liked the 'wow's'.

"You missed me," she murmured and locked her legs around him.

"Maybe. Just a bit," he joked, and let himself be locked. "I missed you more than there are words to explain," he whispered, smiling, into her ear.

"Same. I just wish I had your words," she whispered back and kissed him, slowly now, and Edward melted into her, his heart and soul singing and sighing.

He was home.

He might have been on an island off the Greek coast, but in Bella's arms he was home.

"So," he said a little later, trailing lazy fingers over her chest, down to her stomach, circling her belly button. "Tell me about your two weeks. What have you been doing since I waved you off at the airport?"

She laughed. "Do you really need to ask?"

Edward chuckled too. They had been in contact every day. Texts, emails, phone calls. She'd sent him photos of the dig site and her tent and the small piece of pottery she'd dug out of the ground. Just the night before he'd received a photo of her and some other students smashing plates in a restaurant – _our last night_, her accompanying message had said – _celebrating Greek style. _

He had sent her photos of her house plant. To prove he was taking proper care of it and it was still alive. He had dropped it off at Mandy's apartment the day he flew out. And there had been another photo of him at a baseball game with Rex, to prove he wasn't turning into a hermit without her there. And one he'd taken of himself, sitting against a tree, post-hunt. Slightly disheveled, his eyes their brightest gold, almost iridescent, from the first rush of blood in his system. It was the closest she would ever see him in his hunting state while she was human. It was the most he could share. And there had been another photo, an image of his left hand as it fanned over the keys of his piano..._playing your song..._his message had said. Her reply had come back almost instantly..._I'm listening :)_

His finger made more circles around her belly button. He bent his head and his lips followed the fingertip path.

"So did you enjoy the dig?" he murmured against her skin, his voice soft beneath her giggles. He lifted his head and joined her again on the pillows.

"It was great," she answered. "I've met some really nice people, but I don't think it's my thing so much."

"No?"

She shook her head and lifted his hand, running her fingers back and forth between his. Edward watched her as she watched their hands. "I know a lot of anthropology is in the field," she said. "Visiting communities, studying people, digging up the past to get a fix on the way people used to live...but I think I might be more interested in the more modern studies...looking at how people are shaping the world _now._"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She let go his hand and pulled his head onto her chest and hugged him there, cocooning him. She pulled her fingers through his hair and Edward was practically purring. "I like the theory behind anthropology," she said softly while Edward's eyes slowly closed and his breathing deepened. "I like unraveling the puzzle. And essentially I think I'd be happy doing the quieter stuff, the research, putting the pieces together...I don't feel the need to be out in the field searching for lost tribes."

"Are there any lost tribes left?"

"If we knew that, they wouldn't be_ lost _tribes, Edward." She rolled her eyes and he chuckled softly from his paradise between her breasts. "I was thinking that the work I want to do I could do out of a museum or a university." Her hands tugged gently on his hair and he looked up at her, his eyes almost drowsy now, he was so relaxed. "And that would work for later, wouldn't it? When I'm like you?"

He gave her a lazy, sleepy sort of smile. "It would work, yes," he said. But if his smile was lazy his heart was swelling...filling with joy at the way she was planning for their future.

Bella nodded now, as if that was all sorted then, and Edward nestled back into place.

They stayed like that for a while, talking softly, touching, re-acquainting, but when Bella's stomach rumbled Edward untangled himself from her, kissed her sweetly, and left the bed.

"Have you eaten lunch?" he asked.

"Yeah, but it feels like ages ago now." She struggled onto her elbows and he could feel her eyes on him as he pulled on his jeans and nothing else.

Edward had never thought much about his body, his good looks - it was just part of the vampire lure, an enticement for human victims - but he felt differently these days. He stretched, clenching his fists and stretching his arms upwards, letting his body lengthen and his muscles define. He listened to Bella's heart as it quickened - and he found that he was glad she found him physically beautiful. He was glad his body pleased her.

"Are you showing off?" she rolled her eyes as her cheeks coloured.

"Are you complaining?"

"Not at all." She kicked off the sheet and gave a surprisingly elegant stretch of her own. "Are you?"

If Edward's heart could beat it would have come through his chest wall. The sight of her...and he loved that she felt so open with him, so confident, not shy.

_Definitely not seventeen anymore._

"Touche," he whispered, smiling, and then he went to make her something to eat.

oo

While Edward cooked, Bella unpacked her bag so she could put the small washing machine to work. She sat on the tiled floor and sorted lights from darks and then suddenly looked up and around her. "Where's the rest of our stuff?"

Edward had suggested in Chicago that she just to pack for her two weeks without him and he would bring the rest of her things when he followed.

"Already in Athens," he answered as he chopped onions so fast that the knife was a blur. "I stopped by the apartment before I came here and dropped the luggage. I just brought some things for the weekend...they're in a backpack in the saddle bag of the bike."

Bella nodded. "You brought my dress for the Celebration Dinner?"

"I did. And my tuxedo." He smiled and she frowned. "Oh come on," he said. "It won't be that bad."

When Bella had sent in her acceptance for her position in the summer scholarship program she had received back a packet of information giving her all the information she needed - including the details of the Celebration Dinner, held on the last night of the course. The dinner was attended by members of the Univeristy faculty and students of the various different programs that had run over the summer. It wasn't compulsory to attend, but the dress code was formal if you did. It would be held in the University's Great Hall, and after the meal there would be dancing and without her saying as much Edward knew this was her main concern. The frown was still on her face.

"You dance well," he encouraged. "You've got some good moves now and if you're nervous just pretend we're at home and we've rolled back the rug." She smiled at that and he was glad - he really wanted to take her to the dance.

Edward knew it would seem silly these days, but in his human time taking a girl to a formal dance was a very big deal. And he and Bella had never had prom, though he suspected if he'd stuck around in Forks and asked her she would have said no. Or would have said yes and then been miserable. So he was looking forward to taking her to the Celebration Dinner, to whirling her around the dance floor, him dressed up in his tuxedo and her in the blue silk dress she'd bought specially.

And there was something else he was looking forward to.

In the hidden, internal pocket of his backpack was a small, faded velvet box. In that box was his mother's ring. He wanted Bella to have it and he had wondered for some time about when and how to give it to her. A future anniversary gift? A present for next Christmas? Just one day out of the blue? But when he learned of the Celebration Dinner he was decided. He would give it to her on the occasion of their first formal dance. It would look beautiful on her.

He smiled to himself now and thought how sometimes he was still very much a product of 1918.

"You won't let me fall, will you?" Bella asked suddenly over the small pile of dirty laundry.

"Never."

oo

She sat on the terrace, on one of the sun lounges, eating the salad he'd made. He lolled on the lounge beside hers, sparkling.

His eyes fell on the graze on her ankle.

"How did you hurt your ankle?"

"Fell in a hole. My boots were off."

Edward frowned. He reached out and took her foot in his hand, running his thumb gently over the scuffed skin. The graze was clean, the new flesh was pink.

"When did you do it?"

She cocked her head, screwed up her face, thinking. "Three days ago?"

He turned her ankle this way and that, then nodded and set her foot back down. "It's healing well. No swelling, no redness."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes Dr Cullen." She wriggled her toes.

He smirked and lay back down with his arm thrown casually over his face, enjoying the sun, soaking up the heat like a lizard on a rock.

"You have two medical degrees…" Bella mused around her lettuce.

"Yes."

"Have you ever thought of practicing, like Carlisle?"

"No."

"Why?"

He peeked out at her from under his arm. "It's the blood thing, Bella. Carlisle is much older than me, he's had more time to develop control."

"You're very controlled."

"Not as much as him."

"No?"

He shook his head.

"Really? You sat with me in the hospital while they took blood from my arm."

"That was different."

She was studying him closely now, he could feel her eyes as he hid under his arm.

"Was that hard for you?" she asked quietly, almost timidly. Edward's jaw tightened at the memory he wanted to forget.

"It was hard, but not for the reason you think." He shifted his arm and looked at her again. "You were upset, and frightened, that's what troubled me."

She blinked. "Not the smell of my blood? Because that was before I was on the pill so it would have been full strength then."

He snorted. "Full strength," he grinned. "I like that. You make it sound like alcohol." Though perhaps it wasn't a bad analogy – she was intoxicating after all. He sat up and faced her. "It was full strength, and you were frightened so there was adrenalin pumping around your body too, and that intensifies the scent. Your heart was beating fast, your eyes were panicked. I held my breath and held your hand…but it wasn't the scent…it was your fear, I just didn't want you to be frightened."

Bella's eyes filled. "Thank you," she mouthed.

Edward smiled. "You're welcome," he said and laid back down on his sun lounge. "But I don't know if I could do that for someone else. A stranger."

Bella popped a cherry tomato into her mouth.

"I think you could," she mumbled. "Because my blood has such a strong effect on you, and if you could resist that, then…"

He shrugged. "It's not worth the risk."

"You were very good with Renee and _her_ ankle." Bella said casually. Edward looked again at Bella's own grazed ankle and wondered about the genetics involved there. "You were so good with her."

"There was no blood. And she's your mother. I was hardly going to do nothing after she'd just fallen down your stairs."

Renee had visited not long after Bella and Edward announced their engagement. She had been delighted to meet Edward at last, having heard about him from Charlie and a little from Bella and when she shook his hand her thoughts had been curious and puzzled but overall impressed. Over the course of her four days in Chicago Renee had watched Edward closely and found the way he treated her daughter, the way he looked at her, was like nothing she'd ever seen.

"Definitely a keeper," she'd whispered to Bella more than once. "He loves you. I can see, he's in this for the long haul."

"_Very_ long haul," Bella had smiled to herself and murmured too softly for her mother to hear. But Edward had heard and winked at her.

"You were amazing," Bella was recalling now. "She fell down the stairs, dislocated the ankle that hadn't long been out of plaster, was absolutely beside herself, and I didn't know what to do but you sat with her, you _calmed _her, you…" she shook her head like she couldn't explain. "You did that thing with your hands that made it right again." She was twisting her hands back and forth in opposite directions, like she was frantically trying to open a jar.

"I realigned her talocrural joint."

"Exactly," Bella declared, as if that was what she was going to say all along. "You did that, and I bet she didn't even feel a thing when you did it."

"She didn't."

Renee had been in pain, crying, certain her ankle was broken again, and then completely shocked when the pain had suddenly disappeared beneath Edward's expert fingers.

"And you carried her back upstairs and strapped it. And you were so soothing, telling her it would be alright, your voice calmed her, you even joked with her about still being able to audition for _So You Think You Can Dance_."

Edward sighed.

"What is this all about, Bella?" he smiled at her. "Are you suggesting I should become a doctor? I'm part-way through becoming an engineer."

"That's this time around," she grinned then shrugged. "I just think with those degrees, and your heightened abilities, and yourcompassion…" she emphasised the word and he chuckled. "I think you'd be great as a doctor…just like Carlisle. Maybe you're not ready right now, but in the future." She shrugged. "That's all."

Bella went back to eating.

Edward started thinking.

Edward admired Carlisle immeasurably. He admired his control, his compassion, and his chosen path, and the thought of following in his footsteps was something Edward always thought of as unattainable. Something he couldn't even consider. Something he wasn't good enough for...until Bella's words right now.

And the thought was _intriguing._

Maybe he was good enough.

He stared at the sea, thinking of the compassion that had grown and supplanted his cool indifference. Thinking how his attitude to humans had changed since he'd decided to be a better man for Bella.

Thinking how he'd beaten the pull of the most potent blood there was.

"Did you do hospital rounds when you were studying?" Bella's question broke through his thoughts. "Did they make you practice things on patients? Bandage wounds, take blood?"

"I always skipped those days," Edward answered. "And I just forged the paperwork later."

Bella gasped now, shocked. She sat up and stared at him. Some of her cherry tomatoes rolled off her plate.

"What?" Edward blinked at her, sitting up too and trying to get a handle on her expression.

"You skipped the practical and then _forged_ your paperwork? You _cheated_?"

Edward blinked some more, then started to laugh.

"After all the things you know about me, Bella, _that_ shocks you?"

She nodded dumbly, her mouth still open, the tomatoes still rolling across the terrace.

"Oh, Bella…" Edward reached across and rumpled his hand through her hair. "You surprise me at every turn."

She tried to look disapproving. "You can't get round me that easily. You _cheated._"

"Yep. In 1947 and 1973." He got off his sun lounge and crouched beside hers, kissing her sweetly. "Wanna go for a swim?"

"Changing the subject?" She arched a brow and Edward smirked a little.

"Maybe."

"And you're not going to say I should wait for an hour after eating?"

He shook his head. "Nope. If you sink I'll just give you mouth-to-mouth." He winked. "As you've just pointed out, I have two medical degrees, after all."

"Yeah, but you didn't do the _practical_."

He kissed her again. "The mouth-to-mouth practical, I have."

"Touche," she smiled and went to get into her swim suit.

oo

They'd never been in the water together before, except for the baths, of course.

Edward tossed Bella into the air, carefully, and laughed as she'd hit the water and come up spluttering, laughing too, and telling him he was going to get it now. She chased him and his legs sliced through the water like it was air while she stumbled and heaved herself as though wading through molasses...but he still let her catch him.

They played piggy back games, with her trying to hold on while he tried to shake her off. Of course, he didn't shake very hard, and he never wanted her off anyway, so she always won.

They swam out a little way, easy strokes, arm over arm, enjoying the sun and warm water.

He showed off, doing fancy somersaults and dives while she rolled her eyes and laughed and sometimes clapped him. And often splashed him.

He teased her with seaweed, chasing her with it along the sand and pebbles. But she got him back later, rubbing a clump of the rubbery green leaves over his head as soon as he surfaced from one of his dives.

He laid on his back, floating, smiling at the sky. She laid on his chest, along his body, her legs dangling between his in the water, using him like her own floating sun-lounge with her eyes closed and her cheek resting warm over his heart. His hands rested tenderly on her back. Together their feet moved slowly, making circles in the sea, keeping them buoyant - keeping them afloat.

When the breeze came up and Bella's skin pebbled Edward immediately swam them to shore. The day was coming to a close and after showers and dinner they curled up together on one of the sun lounges on the terrace and watched the sky shift from gold to purple to indigo then black with silver.

Under the stars, Bella fell asleep in Edward's arms.

-0-

In the morning Edward was squeezing oranges by hand in the kitchen while Bella sat on the sofa casting an eye over some of her notes from the past two weeks. She had to submit a summary of the dig on Monday morning.

He was smiling as he watched her. He wanted to kiss away the frown of concentration as she studied the pages in her hands and made occasional notes on a separate page. On the small, tiled coffee table in front of her his phone sat and he saw the screen light up just a millisecond before it began to vibrate.

"Argh!" Bella startled, then laughed, then asked Edward if he wanted her to pick up because he was up to his elbows in orange peel.

"Thanks," he said, assuming it was one of his family. But the hair on the back of his neck began to prickle when Bella just stared at the screen with a blank expression on her face.

"Bella?"

"Edward, who is Tanya?"

Suddenly Edward was rooted to the spot, the half an orange in his hand mashed into pulp as his fist went into a lightning clench. Juice squirted across the counter and dripped onto his foot. Bella was watching him now, her eyes wide and curious, waiting for him to answer while he assessed her expression and considered what wrong, misleading _double entendre's _Tanya's message might hold. Or, dear God no, she hadn't sent a photo? Had she? She did that sometimes, to entice, or to shock maybe...he never responded, he always deleted them. He took a slow breath now.

"Remember me telling you about the Denali coven in Alaska?" He'd mentioned them in general terms but hadn't detailed Tanya's pursuit of him.

"I remember. There are five of them, right? Vegetarians like you?"

"That's right. Tanya is one of the five."

He chucked the ruined orange in the bin, turned on the tap, rinsed his hands and dried them slowly on the dishtowel. Bella seemed calm, puzzled maybe, and Edward wondered if that was good. "What does she say?" He suddenly realised his reaction might have been worse than the message.

"Nothing much." Bella looked back at the screen and read... "_'Heard your news from Esme, we all send our congratulations...so happy for you. __And a motorbike too? In Greece? You'll have fun...remember Eagle? By the Yukon?_'"

Bella looked up at him again. "You told me you had a bike in the fifties. Did you go riding with Tanya?"

"Just once. I had the bike, they came to visit, she'd never ridden and wanted to see what it was like so I took her for a ride one night. Her sisters too. We were living near a town called Eagle. On the Yukon River."

"So I'm not the first girl you've had on the back of a bike then?" Bella said, but she was smiling, and her eyes were affectionate. Edward took a deep breath.

"No," he answered quietly and rubbed his hand over the back of his neck.

There was a nod from Bella. Another smile. Another glance at the phone.

Edward was completely at a loss, unsure what to do. He wanted to sit by her, pull her into his arms and tell her she was the only woman he ever wanted on the back of his bike...

But Bella seemed okay, and he didn't want her to think that Tanya, or the bike riding in Alaska, was any bigger deal than it was, because the truth was that it was no big deal, it was _nothing_...so he went back to juicing the oranges.

And he started talking.

"We've known Tanya and her family for a long time," he began as he sliced another fruit.

He told Bella all their names, a little of their stories. She asked if they were beautiful, like him and his family and he told her that to human eyes they would be.

"But not to your eyes?"

"Not really." He looked up from the jug. "Flick through the photos on the phone, there should be one from Rose and Emmett's wedding, a group shot. You'll see."

Bella started flicking.

Edward had a two-fold purpose in suggesting this. One, he didn't want her to think he was hiding anything, and two, she would see the seventeen photos of herself that he kept in there, before she got to the single Denali photo...just to remind her, in case she felt, well, like he had felt when he'd learned about Hamish and Atticus. Except Tanya had never been his girlfriend, so it wouldn't be the same. Would it?

Edward frowned - he'd confused himself and right now felt sorely aware of his limited relationship experience.

But Bella was smiling as she scrolled through his album and that made him happy.

"I like this one of me at your piano - you'd never think I was only playing Chopsticks. Oh! When did you take this one? I'm sleeping!"

"When you were asleep, obviously," he grinned and filled the jug some more.

She snorted a little as she continued flicking. "The Sunday markets," she murmured. "Oh, and of course you kept the photo of me with cotton candy on my face." She rolled her eyes.

"It's cute," he said. "Look at the next one."

She laughed. "Oh! You_ kissing _the cotton candy off my face, how did you get that shot? I remember the kissing, I don't remember the photo..."

"I'm very fast," he grinned again. "And you were occupied with the kissing."

She giggled, then ...

"Edward! You can't keep _this one _in here! I thought you would have deleted it!"

"Is it you in the towel?" Her blush answered for her. "You posed for it, remember?"

"I know, but...I didn't think you'd keep it."

"Why not?"

He could see it now, her sitting in the middle of his bed, legs curled beneath her, towel wrapped provocatively around her, head tilted, one hand in her hair, and a coquettish, come hither smile on her lips.

"What if someone got hold of your phone?" Bella was aghast.

"Bella, how would someone get hold of my phone?" He raised just one eyebrow. "But if you're not comfortable about the photo, of course I'll delete it. You can do it right now if you want." It was committed to his perfect vampire memory, anyway. But Bella paused, seemed uncertain now.

"No, keep it," she said shyly. "It's quite a good picture of me, actually."

"I thought so," Edward murmured quietly, smiling, his eyes on his oranges. He could feel Bella's blush from across the room.

"Okay, I've got it now," she said after a moment. And then there was silence. "Wow, they _are_ beautiful." She was frowning as she stared at the screen. "Really beautiful. Okay, which one is Tanya?"

"Red dress, strawberry blonde hair."

"Of course," Bella muttered and Edward wondered what she meant by that. "So, they don't have husbands? Mates?"

"Er, no. Not exactly."

Bella gasped when Edward explained that Tanya, Kate and Irina were, in fact, succubi.

"That's how you knew," she said. "When we talked about human males and female vampires not reproducing..."

"Yes."

She was taking it all in, he could see her mind puzzling through the information. Then she looked again at the phone in her hand, and raised an eyebrow as she looked back at him.

"So, is it _only_ human men they're interested in? Or is it any men?"

The question was loaded, but Edward had been expecting it.

"Any men." He squeezed another orange into the jug. With one small flex of his wrist it was wrung dry as he waited for the next question.

"Did any of them ever, you know, want _you_?"

He nodded and slung the empty skin into the bin while he grabbed the next orange. "Tanya expressed some interest," he said. "I told her I didn't return that interest."

"When was that?"

"A long time ago. Not long after we met them."

Bella was quiet for a while. Edward wondered what she was thinking, but he just kept squeezing oranges.

The jug was large and nearly full and a distracted thought ran through his head...Bella would never drink it all in one sitting...could he refrigerate it? Would it go off by this afternoon? Tomorrow? He didn't know.

"Did she let it go at that?" Bella asked quietly and Edward came back from his oranges as he considered his answer.

"She knew where I stood, there was no doubt about that," he said. "But she made the offer on more than one occasion, yes."

"Even when you said no?" There was a tightness in Bella's voice now. "Even when you'd made it clear? She must have really had, um, feelings for you."

Edward shook his head.

"Not feelings the way you are thinking of them," he said. He leant against the counter, his palms flat against its cool surface. "I was a challenge to Tanya."

"A challenge?"

He nodded. "In almost a thousand years no man has ever refused her, except me." He stared directly into her eyes, hoping she would see the significance of his words. It seemed she did. Her jaw dropped, her eyes were huge.

"You were the only one? The only one out of ... I can't even imagine how many?"

"The only one," Edward repeated.

Bella was quiet again. She looked back at the picture on the phone. Edward stayed very still, only his fingers clawed a little at the counter top as he wondered again what she was thinking.

"And you never even thought about it?" She lifted her eyes to him. "You never thought about...?" she trailed off, waving her hand to explain the rest of her thought.

Edward could have said no, he'd never even thought about it, but that would be lying. And he didn't want to lie to Bella. Especially about something like this.

"I did consider it," he said. "Once." He held up a single finger for emphasis. His eyes never left hers.

"Oh..." Bella's cheeks paled.

"It was a very long time ago," Edward went on. "I'd been surrounded by happy couples for so long and one day, for a few brief minutes, I wondered..." He shrugged. "That's as far as it went."

"So you_ were_ attracted to her?" Bella whispered.

"No, I wasn't. I just wondered if it would make the loneliness go away."

Bella's mouth fell open in a silent _oh. _

"I decided it would make it worse."

Bella blinked at him. "Worse?"

He shrugged again. "It would have been a hollow experience."

Bella's expression changed and she looked once more at the photo, frowning now.

"Hollow..." she murmured as Edward's fingers dug into the counter top. "But she's so beautiful...and you could have..."

Edward didn't want Bella to feel jealous. He didn't want her to doubt or compare or analyse. There was _no _comparison. He wanted to be clear on this. Absolutely crystal clear. And though the words were softly said they left his lips before he'd barely thought them through.

"It would have been fucking, Bella. And I don't fuck. I make love. To you."

Bella's jaw dropped almost to the floor. Edward felt a moment's panic..._shit_, he'd offended her. He pulled his hand through his hair, about to apologise profusely for his language, he should have stuck with _hollow, _or empty, but then he saw her eyes dilate and darken. Her heart picked up and she licked her lips.

The phone dropped from her fingers onto the sofa beside her.

Edward took some slow steps out from behind the counter.

"Sorry," he murmured. His bare feet moved slowly, smoothly, over the tiles.

"No, it's fine..." she whispered quickly. He could see her heart throbbing beneath the thin cotton of her top as her eyes watched him come closer.

"I wanted to be clear."

"You were."

He knelt beside her, took her face between his hands.

"I _love _you," he said. "You are my first love." He kissed her cheek. "And I waited for you." He continued kissing her, burning a trail towards her mouth, his kisses punctuating his words.

"First love...first date...first kiss...first _time_..."

His mouth found hers and she wrapped herself around him, pulling him down onto the sofa with her. He slid his hands under her top, listened to her moan and then stopped when she giggled.

"Something funny," he panted as he grinned at her.

"You said fuck."

He blinked. It was his turn to be surprised. Then he smiled.

"I did. Sorry. It's not a word I use often and when I do it's usually aimed at Emmett."

She shook her head. "It's okay. I've heard the word before."

He nuzzled against her neck and throat. Her chest.

"The filter was off," he murmured against her skin. "And I was worried you were feeling jealous or unsure or..."

Bella began to laugh and Edward lifted his head.

"I'm glad you're happy," he smiled, chuckling too, now. "But would you like to let me know what it is we're laughing about?"

Bella wriggled to sit up a bit. "I wasn't jealous," she said. "I was feeling smug."

"Smug?"

He was still on his knees by her side, staring into her face, confused.

"I felt sad that you were so lonely..." she began and touched his face. "And then when you said sex with this Tanya would have been a hollow experience...and I looked at her photo again and I was thinking she was so beautiful, and you passed her up because you were waiting for more...and _I _was the _more._"

"You are. You are definitely the _more_."

She grinned at him again. "So I was feeling smug that Miss Universe couldn't do it for you, but I could."

"Oh."

"You thought I was jealous?"

"Yes."

Bella shook her head. "No. I'm sorry that you thought I was." Then she giggled. "But it was kind of worth it to hear you say fuck."

He rolled his eyes.

"Make the most of it, Bella. It won't become a habit."

She giggled again.

"Hey, Edward?"

"Mmm?"

"Wanna go ride the bike?"

-0-

They flew over the narrow roads, her body curled in on his again as she held on tight. They stopped here and there and explored parts of the coast...more secluded beaches and bays, more cliffs, more views. Edward stayed in his helmet and jacket.

Bella had packed her good camera and everywhere they stopped she took photos - her favourites were taken from a tree top. Edward had climbed with her on his back so they could take in an even more spectacular view from high above the cliffs. There were a few of just the view, then some of Edward, helmet off in the shade, smiling, leaning back against the tree trunk, leaves overhead, with glimpses of the view behind him, cliffs and sea peeking through the greenery. The photo didn't show his legs, locked like a vice around Bella, making it impossible for her to fall.

At lunch time they stopped so she could eat and he made her a picnic on thick grass under some trees. He laid with his head in her lap, while she ate fruit and cheese, and went through a routine Edward had affectionately come to call_ What was..have you ever? _

He had lived for so long and Bella figured there was so much to know about him, so much to learn, so sometimes she would ask him question and after question after question, and he would answer. Sometimes she'd let him ask her a question too.

_What was the first concert you went to...have you ever been in a protest march...what was your favourite human food...have you ever met someone famous...where were you when World War II ended; Kennedy was shot; man walked on the moon; the Berlin Wall came down...what was the most shocking newspaper headline you ever saw..._

Today Bella was in a silly mood.

"Okay, have you ever, um..." she bit her lip, frowning now, trying to think.

"Are you trying to come up with something outrageous?"

She nodded. "Yep, like, um, ooh, I know, have you ever ridden a camel?"

She laughed and then stopped when he said ... "Yes."

She blinked. "Really?"

He nodded. "1915. The World's Fair in San Francisco. It was a very big deal and my parents took me. There were camel rides for twenty five cents."

A huge smile stretched across his face. And Bella's. "Sounds like a good memory," she said.

"It is. A very good memory." He lifted her hand and kissed it. "Almost as good as this."

She smiled.

"What was the naughtiest thing you did as a kid?"

Edward scrunched up his nose as he considered, sifting through faded memories, trying to find something suitably bad and shocking. He told her about the sling shot and Mrs Morley's expensive, fancy stained glass window.

Bella was satisfyingly, suitably shocked.

"Did you get in trouble?"

"Lots."

"And so you should!"

"I had to eat dinner standing up." He rubbed at his backside and winced.

She giggled and he was grinning. "It wasn't funny at the time," he mutterred.

"No, I'm sure it wasn't. Okay, next question..." Bella was clearly on a roll today. She began to giggle. "Um, have you ever been into a topless bar?"

She was already laughing at the ridiculousness of the question before she'd even finished the sentence, but at Edward's hesitation she stopped.

"Oh. You have?"

"It's not what you're thinking," he answered quietly and his smile faded to nothing. He wished he could just change the subject, but she'd seen his reaction and now she was curious. "It was 1929," he said pointedly and he saw the date's significance register immediately in her face.

"When you were living a more traditional vampire lifestyle?"

Edward nodded. "There was a club. It wasn't exactly a topless bar, it would have been called a Speak Easy - illegal liquor, gambling, woman who danced in next to nothing. One of the customers had...well, he had plans for one of the dancers."

Bella shuddered very slightly, but her grip on Edward's hand tightened, supporting him.

"I didn't go inside," Edward said. "I knew he'd bring her outside. I was in the alley, waiting."

Looking up from her lap Edward saw Bella's throat move as she swallowed, but her eyes were clear and met his unflinchingly. And as always, he was amazed and moved by the acceptance he saw there, in her eyes, in every line of her face, in her touch.

"Did you save her?" she asked quietly.

"Yes. I saved her."

She nodded. "Good."

She pulled her fingers through his hair, stroked his temple and he closed his eyes and savoured her touch as the past faded away again.

There was a moment of quiet before Bella had a new question.

"What do you think would have happened with us if you'd stayed in Forks?"

Edward opened his eyes and blew out a fast breath. "I have no idea," he shook his head. "I've wondered that myself, often. I...I don't think I could have stayed away from you. I would have approached you, but I would have hated myself for doing it."

"Do you think we'd be where we are now?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I wouldn't be who I am now." He reached up and touched her cheek. "I think my leaving was probably a good thing."

She kissed his palm and then her next question took a completely different turn and had him laughing with surprise.

"Um, have you ever been skinny dipping? You know, swimming nude?"

"No!" His eyes shot open wide in mock-shock. "No, I haven't. That would be scandalous, Bella!" Smiling, he narrowed his eyes as she laughed. "But now I'm curious. Have _you_ ever been skinny dipping?"

"No!" she laughed. "Never."

Edward wondered if that was something they should rectify while they were here on the island.

"What is the worst joke you've ever heard?"

"Worst joke?" Edward snorted as he prepared to answer. "It's really terrible, are you ready?"

"I am."

"You're sure?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sure!"

"Okay, what do you call a vampire covered in feathers?"

"What?"

"Count Duckula."

Bella groaned loudly while Edward laughed.

"Is that one of Emmett's?"

"It is."

"It's terribele!"

"Told you."

oo

It was hot, so after their picnic they rode home so they could swim again.

Bella hurried down the path towards the beach, her hair flying out behind her, her towel flapping in her hand. She skidded and stumbled over the rocks, never quite losing her footing but coming close and Edward called to her to be careful. He shook his head as she waved away his concern. Still, he kept just one pace behind her, his arms ready and at her disposal should she fall.

He heard his phone from the terrace as she hit the small pebbly beach. He debated answering, then raced back up to the villa, grabbed the phone and was back with Bella before she'd even noticed he'd gone.

"You coming in?" she grinned as she dropped the towel and pushed her sundress over her hips. He held up his phone and she nodded and went ahead without him. He grinned as he watched her practically fall into the water, laughing.

The phone was still vibrating and for a moment he contemplated just dismissing the call after all, and diving in right behind her...until he saw the ID.

"Carlisle?"

"Edward, how's Greece?"

Edward looked towards the water where Bella was playing, her bathing suit wet and clinging and, to his eyes, transparent against her curves.

He smiled slowly. "Greece is great."

Carlisle said he was glad but now Edward could hear unfamiliar sounds in the background of the call.

"Carlisle, where are you?"

There was a beat.

"South America."

Every muscle, every nerve in Edward's body tensed.

"What news?" he asked.

"Is Bella there with you, Edward?"

"She's in the water, swimming."

"Do you want her to hear this now too, with you?"

"I don't know. What am I hearing now?"

There was a pause. "It's not good, Edward. I'm sorry."

Edward sat on a rock. He waved now to Bella as she waved at him, and he told Carlisle to go ahead. His body became more and more tense as the conversation went on. Bella was diving and splashing in the calm water and Edward kept close watch on her while he listened. When Carlisle had finished he asked Edward if there was anything he could do. Edward told him no, there wasn't, but thank you.

"I've made my opinion clear," Carlisle said. "But I'll support whatever decision you and Bella make, son."

Edward thanked him again and ended the call. He put the phone on the rock and ran his hands through his hair. As far as he was concerned there was no decision to make, there was nothing to think about. But he wasn't sure what Bella's reaction would be. He could only hope, and pray, it would be the same as his.

She waved him into the water but he shook his head. She stilled, puzzled, then strode out of the sea looking glorious, and Edward wished he could enjoy the vision more but Carlisle's news was playing heavily on him. He wished the news could have come later, not now, not during these few days of paradise.

"What's up?" Bella grabbed her towel and began drying herself off, rubbing roughly over her hair. "Who was on the phone?"

"Carlisle."

She stopped rubbing. Slowly she brought her hands down and the towel hung limp from her fingers.

"He has news?"

Edward nodded. He reached out to take her hand, running his fingers back and forth between hers. She dropped to her knees and he came off the rock and sat beside her.

Since the day in Vermont when Edward spoke to Carlisle of his concerns about the incubi legends, Carlisle had been researching. And everyone had been shocked when he'd uncovered whispers from South America that the myths could possibly be true...and maybe not as bad as the horror stories made out. In the last few months Carlisle had been tracking those whispers, trying to sift fact from fable, because Edward and Bella wanted to know if there was any possibility of a successful outcome.

"So, tell me…" Bella was looking at him, anxious for answers.

"The myths are true," he said flatly. "Just like in the books." He heard Bella's quiet gasp as he stared at the ground. He heard her heart accelerate.

"_Exactly_ like the books?"

He nodded. "Well, almost. The children aren't monsters, apparently they're beautiful by all accounts…and intelligent, with beating hearts.

"Oh?"

"But the rest of it..." he shuddered a little. "It's exactly like the myths depict. The mothers die."

"Oh."

He gave her the details that Carlisle had given him – two human women; the four-week pregnancies that ravaged and destroyed their bodies; the children tearing themselves from the womb with their teeth; the mothers dying agonising deaths in delivery.

Bella's hand gripped his tightly. He watched her face pale and drain.

"There was a third case," Edward went on. "The vampire tried to save the mother, he tried to change her immediately after delivery."

"And?"

Edward shook his head. He stroked his fingers over hers. "The strain of the pregnancy had weakened her heart so much that it couldn't pump the venom around her body fast enough. It took her a day to die, in even worse pain than the others."

Bella looked down at his hand in hers. She was quiet for a very long time.

Edward stared at her, too scared to even wonder what she was thinking, because if she was thinking she wanted to _try..._no, he couldn't even let the thought in. He swallowed and told her the rest. His fingers still stroked slowly over hers. They still sat side by side, knees touching, shoulders touching.

"Carlisle said that even with modern technology and techniques there was only the faintest chance we would have a better outcome, a successful outcome. He said we could have instruments custom made to perform a caesarean section, we know the gestation period so we could prepare and deliver ahead of time to avoid…" he trailed off, he couldn't even say it. "But there's nothing we can do about your heart. Even with the best care, there are no guarantees your heart would stand up to the pregnancy, the delivery, and then still be able to push my venom around your body…no matter where or how the venom was administered." Edward paused, he looked at Bella's face but couldn't tell what she was thinking. Her eyes were watching his thumb move over the back of her hand.

"Carlisle did say that he would support whatever we decided, but in his professional medical opinion he couldn't advise strongly enough against it. As a vampire he said it would be madness to try."

There was silence, Edward's body was hard and still like stone as he watched Bella. He prayed that she wouldn't ask him to try. She looked up from his hand and stared deep into his eyes, searching. She touched his cheek.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she whispered.

He hadn't expected her to ask him that and he wasn't sure what to say.

"Please, Edward?"

Edward exhaled sharply. He needed to gather his thoughts, it was a while before he spoke.

"I let you go once," he said eventually, staring straight ahead at the horizon. "I gave you up because I thought I was saving you, but then I found you again and I knew then I could never let you go. But then there was that drunk driver, and you were almost gone." He bowed his head and ran his foot over the pebbles, digging his toes into the sand beneath. "I know what it feels like to love you and live without you, and I know the fear of thinking I might lose you..." His voice had dropped to a whisper. His shoulders were hunched as he stared at his feet. "Those were the blackest, darkest times of my existence."

He heard Bella's breathing quicken. He felt her head settle against his shoulder. He wound his arm around her and looked down. She was looking up at him and he felt himself falling deep into the warmth of her eyes.

"I don't think I have the words," he whispered. "I don't know if I can tell you how important you are to me. I could describe my love as limitless or endless, but that doesn't even begin to scratch the surface, it doesn't come close to describing the depth or the power of what I feel for you." He took his arm from around her and instead held her face tenderly between his hands. His heart, his soul were open and his words flowed.

"With you my life is real, _I _am real. And there's light. And I feel warm. And happy. What we have together is more than enough for me. You and me, our marriage, our life together, that's all I need...that _is _my life...I don't need anything more...but I can't exist with anything less." He paused and swallowed. His thumbs caressed her cheeks. Her eyes glistened with tears. He leant in and kissed her lips, so softly, so sweetly, it was barely a whisper. "You ask me what I think?" he breathed as he pulled back. He rested his forehead against hers. "Then I'll tell you. I don't want to try. Because _I can't lose you, Bella,_ not even for this." His voice cracked as his eyes swam, melting into hers. "And that's not what I _think_, it's what I _know._"

A single tear ran down Bella's cheek and Edward kissed it away. His thumb caught the new tear that spilled onto her other cheek. Then he pulled her close to him, tucking her in under his chin, and they sat, wrapped in each other's arms on the pebbly beach.

"You said you couldn't find the words," Bella whispered after a few minutes of quiet with just the sound of the water lapping at the rocks. "But I think you found the words just fine." She lifted her face and smiled up at him.

Edward pulled her into his lap, settling her there gently. He nuzzled his face softly against her neck.

"You know my thoughts," he said quietly. "Will you tell me yours?"

Bella was running her hand slowly along his forearm, watching her fingers move back and forth over his skin. Edward waited, his body still tense, his life still on hold until he knew exactly what Bella wanted.

She took a breath and began.

"I think...as unique as we are, we're not the first couple in the world who've had to weigh up the risks of a dangerous pregnancy. And we're not the first couple in the world who can't have kids."

Edward took a shaky breath.

"Bella, I wish I could give you...I wish I could be different for you," he whispered.

"No, ssh," Bella put her finger to his lips. "Don't ever wish that, because_ I _don't."

He smiled softly, eyes of liquid amber into her dark depths.

"Edward, I don't want to risk what we have either. I _need _you too. And I told you once before, I won't go anywhere if it means leaving you behind. I love you, Edward. I love _you, _and it's not conditional on whether we can have children." Now she took his face in _her_ hands. "Every relationship starts with two people..._our_ relationship started with us, with each other, and we'll just go on as we started, and that sounds pretty good to me." She kissed his temple, his forehead, his lips.

Edward felt the burn behind his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat as Bella nestled against his chest and he closed his eyes as he let her words, her touch, her peace, her love, wash over him, lift him up and carry him.

After a while Bella spoke. Her voice was soft and peaceful and content as she smiled out at the sea. "I think my life with you will be beautiful, Edward," she said. He pulled her closer and buried his face against her neck, his lips whispered over her skin ...

"I'll make sure of it."

oo

They made love that night, with the french doors open and the stars shining on them. Edward poured his heart and soul into Bella, giving her everything that was him. It was an affirmation of his deepest love, his devotion…it was a promise.

A promise that this was just the beginning.

When dawn broke Bella awoke, beaming as she stretched. Edward was propped on one elbow, smiling down at her.

She opened her mouth to speak, just as her phone sounded from the kitchen. She rolled her eyes and Edward chuckled.

"I think we should just ignore it, don't you?"

Bella nodded and pulled the sheet over her head. Edward joined her in the make-shift tent where they giggled and he tickled her and ran his tongue over her skin and slices of morning light fell on the Egyptian cotton and gave a soft golden glow to the little world they'd created.

When her stomach rumbled Bella scowled. Edward stopped the kissing and threw back the sheet.

"Breakfast time for the human," he declared.

"One more kiss," Bella pouted.

He obliged. But one kiss became two, two became eight, eight became...

Her stomach rumbled again and Edward finally left the bed, pulled on his khaki shorts and strolled into the kitchen.

He decided he'd make her an omelette and mentally ran through the recipe as he took the eggs from the fridge. He cracked and whisked and poured.

He felt incredibly light. And happy.

Bella appeared a few minutes later.

"You look lovely," Edward smiled.

She was wearing a white dress, soft and floaty, that came to her ankles and swayed around her legs.

Bella's cheeks pinked. "You like, then?"

"Very much."

She sat down at the counter, watching him, smiling.

"What?" he asked, smiling back.

"Nothing."

But he knew. Because he felt it too.

They were complete.

Any faint, niggling doubts Edward might have held about Bella 'missing out' by being with him, had gone.

Bella picked up her phone to check the messages while he performed an elaborate triple flip of her omelette.

"It was Alice," she frowned as she looked at the screen. "She's not subtle, is she." Her smile was affectionate though her tone was exasperated. She held up the phone for Edward to see.

"A wedding dress?" he said, staring at the photo scanned from a magazine.

"I bet she doesn't send you photos of tuxedos, does she?"

"No," he shook his head, smiling. "Does she do that a lot?"

Bella nodded as her thumb moved over the keys again for a moment. "Not always dresses, though. Yesterday it was this." She held up the phone again.

"Shoes?"

"Not just shoes, Edward," she frowned in mock seriousness. "They're Louboutin sling-backs covered in Aurora Boreale crystals."

Edward blinked at the photo, then blinked at Bella. "I don't know what that means."

"It means that for three thousand dollars my feet could sparkle brighter than you in the midday sun."

"Oh."

"And this one she sent me last week." It was another wedding dress, grand and elaborate. "Look at that train. I'd probably trip over it and break my neck before I even got down the aisle."

Edward frowned at the thought. "No trains," he murmured, performing an elaborate flip of her omelette onto a plate and sliding it across the counter to her.

"I think she's trying to hurry us along."

"Well, she can hurry us along all she wants," Edward said and came around the other side of the island. He stood behind Bella, snaking his arms around her waist and kissing her shoulder as she started her breakfast. "We'll do this our own way."

Bella smiled and took a mouthful.

"Mm...that's good."

Edward smiled too. "The omelette or the kissing?" he asked.

"Both. But if you keep up the kissing I'll never finish the omelette."

Edward pressed his lips to her skin one last time and went to put the pan in the dishwasher.

"Wanna walk along the beach after breakfast?" he asked. "We could walk around to the next cove, it's just as protected as this one. And there are rock pools."

Bella's eyes lit up. "I'd love that." Smiling she turned and looked out the glass doors, over the terrace, towards the sea where the sun sparkled like diamonds on the sapphire water.

"I wish we could get married here," she said softly. "Down on the beach, with the sun and the water. It feels special here."

Edward came to stand behind her again, his arms finding their place around her waist once more.

"It is special," he murmured as his lips pressed tenderly over her shoulder.

He began to think through the challenges of a wedding on the beach. This beach. It would be no problem flying Bella's family and friends in, and his family could time their arrivals like he had... perhaps they could have a twilight ceremony, but if Bella wanted sun...

His eyes followed hers, across the terrace and beyond.

"I'm not sure...," he said. "The sun..."

"It's okay," she said quickly, twisting around and smiling. "The logistics, I know..."

"We could elope," Edward joked and Bella shook her head.

"Alice would kill you, Renee would kill me."

"And Charlie?"

"Charlie would understand." She climbed off her stool and put her plate in the sink.

Charlie and Sue were engaged, with very simple plans for a very simple wedding in August. And it seemed Bella and Edward had found an ally in Sue, because she'd insisted the wedding be in Forks, not La Push, which meant Bella would be able to bring her fiance.

"Do you think Charlie will find out about you being a vampire?"

"I think it's inevitable," Edward answered. He dragged his hand through his hair. "It's going to be practically impossible for the Quileutes to keep the werewolf thing from him if he's marrying into the tribe, and when that comes out..." He left the sentence unfinished.

"You know what?" Bella said as she came back to him, arms sliding around his neck. "I think he'd be cool with it."

"Oh?" His arms slid around her waist, moving low over her back.

"Uh huh. He likes you a lot. He's told me has a lot of respect for you...and I don't think it's just because you paid for my hospital room." She kissed his cheek. "Have I thanked you for that?"

"About a thousand times." He kissed her back, remembering when her hospital statement had come in with the itemised list of expenses paid by her insurance, and those paid by E Cullen. He'd expected a fight, he'd prepared for it, he'd set his jaw and waited for the onslaught, and was completely disarmed when Bella said a quiet, serious thank you - then threw her arms around him and hugged him hard. Of course she'd offered to pay him back, and he'd kissed her, held her, and asked her not to insult him. She'd laughed and said if she wanted to insult him she could do much better than that. So she'd simply thanked him again instead.

Bella's phone beeped again, another message from Alice, and Edward watched as Bella dismissed the call. Some morning light fell on her ring as she pressed the keys and the stones lit up, sending beads of light bouncing spectacularly around the room.

"Edward..." Bella said slowly while they watched the rainbow patterns on the walls.

"Mm?"

When she turned around and lifted her eyes to him he could see her excitement.

"What about Garfield Park? Where you proposed? They have weddings there in the sunken garden, or the conservatory. We could have a twilight ceremony...it would be perfect."

Edward smiled warmly, and kissed her soundly. "You're right, it would be perfect."

But he'd also had an idea of his own.

And the idea had come to him as Bella's had come to her - when her engagement ring had bounced light all around the room. And the more Edward thought about his idea, the more perfect it seemed, and the more beautifully it fit in with Bella's wish.

"Wait here?" he said suddenly, grinning, and disappeared into the bedroom.

He took the loose, white linen shirt from his backpack and pulled it on. Then he found the small, velvet box that held his mother's ring, opened it, polished the ring on his shirt and put it in his pocket. Then he hurried back to Bella.

He'd been gone all of seven seconds.

"What's going on?" Bella laughed as he skidded back into the living area.

"Trust me?"

"Absolutely."

"Good."

He scooped her into his arms and headed out to the terrace and onto the path that led to the beach. On the way he stopped and picked a wildflower that was growing by the path, and tucked it into Bella's hair behind her ear.

"Edward?"

But he didn't respond, he just grinned.

When they reached the beach he set her down, standing so they were right on the edge of the sea, the water lapping gently at their feet.

Bella was watching him, anticipating and expectant.

Edward pulled the ring from his pocket and held it up.

"This was my mother's," he said softly. Bella's eyes widened, her lips parted in a soft _oh, Edward, _and Edward knew she realised what he was doing.

He took her right hand in his.

"It _is _special here," he said. "And it's just us, on the beach, with the water and the sun..." He took a deep breath as he began.

"I, Edward, take you Isabella, to be my wife. I give you my hand, and my heart. I promise to love you, honour you, be faithful to you, comfort and care for you, every moment of every day of our lives." The joy was swelling in Edward's chest right now as he slid the ring, in Greek wedding tradition, onto Bella's right hand. "With this ring I thee wed."

Bella's eyes were full, her lip was trembling as she looked at the ring, and then at Edward.

"I don't have a ring for you," she whispered and he smiled and shook his head, shaking away her concern. So Bella took his hand, and held it in hers.

"I, Isabella, take you Edward, to be my husband. I give you my hand and my heart. I promise to love you, honour you, be faithful to you, comfort and care for you, every moment of every day of our lives." She lifted his right hand and pressed her lips to his ring finger.

Now she was beaming, and so was he. They were laughing. Their joy filled them and shone from them brighter than Bella's rings, brighter than the sun. He lifted her into his arms and swung her around and they laughed and kissed and kissed some more.

He set her back on the ground, the water washing over their bare feet, touching the hem of her floaty white dress.

Edward took her face between his hands. "There will still be Garfield Park," he said. "With our families and friends, we'll put it in writing and sign our names and I can't wait for that...but we'll also have this, just for us."

He kissed her again and he felt her body melting into his as she wound herself around him. When they pulled apart she looked at her new _wedding _ring, shining on her right hand. Then she looked at her engagement ring on her left hand and smiled.

"Did you have this planned?"

"No," he shook his head, laughing. "I was going to give you the ring the night of the Celebration Dinner, but..."

"It's beautiful," Bella smiled at him. Then she smiled at the ring. "Beautiful."

Then she reached up and touched the flower he'd tucked in her hair, and then she touched him. She ran her fingers over his cheek, his jaw, down to his chest. Then she stepped into his arms and he engulfed her, pulling her close and whispering his love in her ear.

"You'll make me cry," she whispered and he could hear the tremor in her voice.

"Don't cry," he whispered back.

They began to walk along the beach, arms around each other, the sun shining down on them. They talked and laughed and stopped every few steps to kiss and caress. He told her she was beautiful. She told him she loved him. He decided that needed another kiss.

They walked on. He kicked happily at the water, the sun was on his back, his wife was in his arms.

And this was just the beginning.

"We'll have to take a photo," Bella said.

"We will. Lots."

Edward kissed the top of Bella's head, the flower in her hair tickled his chin and he smiled. He thought of all the many different choices and decisions that had brought him to this life, this place, this _moment_...starting with his mother's dying request to Dr Carlisle Cullen. He thought of biology labs, caves, anthropolgy scholarships in Chicago, house tenants, burnt-orange feature walls that needed repainting, ER waiting rooms, Loch Ness Monster documentaries, the truth, pianos, propsoals...

But the _best, _most important decision of them all, Edward thought, was when he decided to cross the road one windy Chicago afternoon, hold out his hand to the pretty girl in front of him, and say hello.

Now he swept the pretty girl up in his arms and swung her around again, laughing as she laughed too. He stared into her eyes, the warmest, deepest, _happiest _eyes he'd ever seen.

Edward smiled.

Best decision ever.

_The End_

**A/N: Thank you for reading.**

**And I can't thank you all enough for the wonderful support this story has had. All the reviews, and messages, the recommendations...it all means so much to me and I thank you all. I'm sorry the wait between chapters has sometimes been so long.**

**Huge thank you to Melanie for your friendship, your support, your speedy betaing and letting me bounce ideas off you.**

**Thank you icrodriguez for everything :) This was always the plan for Edward's mother's ring - I hope you liked it.**

**Thank you VeneziaK who lives in Greece and was a huge help with this chapter and suggested Crete when I said I needed somewhere Bella could dig that wasn't far from a remote, secluded coastline. Crete was perfect.**

**Thank you ltlerthqak who knows about Chicago and Lake Michigan and helped on several chapters and knew that Cook County Hospital still existed and would have been where Edward had been taken in 1918.**

**Thank you bgwillis for your support and for starting the thread for this story on Twilighted.**

**Thank you to the readers who nominated The Decision for Fic of the Week on The Lemonade Stand. It won its way into the weekly top four fics and I was just blown away...so thank you to those who nominated and those who voted...thank you very much.**

**I don't know if there will be an epilogue. For me, the story feels complete as it is. But I know that sometimes when I finish a story, even though it feels complete, I still find myself wondering what happened next for the characters, so maybe...**

**This story was originally going to be a one-shot, ending with Edward crossing the road for Bella and saying hi...and then it would be left to the readers' imagination. But somehow the story wouln't let go :)**

**Thank you all, once again!**

**Cheers**

**W **


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